Friday, August 25, 2023

The IT IS HIGH Nation speaks... will the world listen?

As it was meant to be, the Starr Insurance Yankees lost yesterday.

The big brains at Fangraphs now calculate the team's chances of winning the 2023 Wild Card at 0.2 percent, known scientifically as a "half-smidgen." 

The Tankathon site gives them an 0.9 percent chance of tanking their sorry way into the top 2024 lottery pick.

Doing some old school, IT IS HIGH  math, that leaves us with  - hmm, carry the naught, where's the calculator? - a 98.9 percent chance that absolutely nothing will change, that they will continue to suck air with aging free agents, straight-jacket contracts and a farm system that is electrified by the Jeep bullshit brand. Meanwhile, everybody else in baseball - (in other words, the Mets and Redsocks) will at least do something.

I mean, I speak for the Yankiverse in saying... yeesh. We cannot hit. We cannot hold a lead. We cannot beat a certified tomato can in our home lair. We are wasting great seasons by two great players, both of whom must be reconsidering their reasons to be Yankees, and we cannot even find a half-smidgen reason for hope. 

But but BUT... the Yankees do have one thing that nobody else has.

Starr Insurance. Us. 


On a normal day-after, I would be drinking  Draino to get the taste of Tommy "Tomato" Kahnle out of my mouth, or photoshopping Harrison Bader-Ginsberg for his sombrero. But today, I have no bile to expectorate. 

Why? Well, we made it to Yankee Stadium for the second annual whenever  meetup of the IT IS HIGH Supermodel Cavalry, and I hereby want to thank all of you - you know who you are - for making this ridiculous blog a safehouse for Yankee prophets, tellers of truth and debunkers of bunk.

I told my family about you people. Nobody believed me. (Nothing new. They never do.) Now, though, they've seen it. And they agree: 

This matters.

So, our team lost. The tank continues. But we did our jobs. We raised our letters. We sent our message, we left our mark, we did our deed. For reasons that would require the late Stephen Hawking to deduce, we remain the most unbreakable, diehard fans of a certain team that stole our souls in childhood, and that we will never grow out of. 

So here we are, staggering through another cold August, but our integrity is still intact. Hal will never sell. But we will never quit bugging him. I thank you all for joining me on this journey. I have it on good information that when the juju gods look at us, they turn their heads and cough. Someday, we will make it. We shall romp through that field of nipples and drink the nectar of overpriced beer in pinstriped cans... and we will do it in late October under snowy skies, ruining the experience for everyone else... but us. 

Until yesterday, I was running low on hope. Today, no matter what the odds say, I believe...

So, the Yankees thank you. And so do I.


13 comments:

JM said...

It was a great game that fulfilled our wildest Tankathon dreams. Kahnle, lookin' sharp! And it was great to see everyone in person.

On another note, I've been going about the comparison to the 1966 Yanks all wrong. I was thinking we could equal their lousy winning percentage or W-L record. But today, it dawned on me.

The stat that kind of defined the lousiness of '66 was GB. We finished 26.5 games out.

We're now 18 games out. This one might be doable.

AboveAverage said...

JM - needed to leave earlier - regrettably can’t Porto Rico :( -

AboveAverage said...

“Those who are about to tank insure you….”

Buhner's Ghost said...

They should never have traded Buhner.

BTR999 said...

“I used to be disgusted
Now I try to be amused”

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"We never should have shot Lieutenant Niedermeyer!"

DickAllen said...

What’s really impressive about the sign is the proper punctuation.

Well done!

JM said...

AA, I didn't check the comments here until now
No problem. I went out for a walk to NYU hospital to get some blood work done.

Nobody can say I don't know how to have fun.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hope you're okay, JM.

And brilliantly put, Duque! The feelings are mutual—the best part of following the Yankees—the ONLY good part of following the Yankees these days—is youse!

I had a terrific time, despite being unable to conquer the electronic ticket transfer and going to the wrong section at first. Great to be anywhere with good company.


ranger_lp said...

So my wife commented on the message board sign...that it was great that it was above the Delta advert...and we and that message were flying high above that sign...thanks to all of you for a great day and tnx Mrs. ranger for her apropos thought...

Scottish Yankee fan said...


Well done guys for the sign

Glad you all had a good time

TheWinWarblist said...

TheWinWarblist said...

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Hammer of God said...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Well done, ladies and gents of the blog! Wish I coulda been there!