Their next loss - (Tonight! Saucepan Sevy! Atlanta!) - will lower the coffin one click closer to the magical .500, with lowly Arizona suddenly looking over its shoulder. Hey, D-backs! Who's your daddy! We're coming for your draft pick!
With last night's exquisite loss - a blowout by the 3rd - Boonie's Boners gained a game on Cleveland, St. Louis and the Mets in their quest for a slightly better draft next June.
As of today, they would pick 14th, but with this team falling like Sky Lab, there is no reason to believe we cannot reach the top 10. And before you shout "CITO CULVER," let's note that the last time the Yankees drafted in the Top Ten, it was 1992, and they took Derek Jeter. (The previous year they picked Brien Taylor at No. 1. Ah, memories...)
Don't think about losing 10 in a row. Just think about losing tonight. With Severino on the mound, I like our chances.
Last night, you know what was amazing? Atlanta's stats. They have four guys batting over .270, six with at least 20 HRs, four with over 70 RBIs, and a fellow chasing Aaron Judge's homer record. (That will have lasted long, eh?) Meanwhile, the Yankees start five hitters who would bat ninth on a real contender. (Remember the days when Scott Brosius batted last?)
But tonight, our secret weapon: Sevy! I predict that David Cone will list him as one of the "Keys to the Game." He'll say Sevy "needs a good start." And maybe, in the first, Sevy will hold the line. But by inning three, the wheels will fly like frisbees, and Boonie will be uttering the words that have haunted us since 2019: "Warm up Abreu."
Actually, it was fun last night, flicking through one inning, then switching to the Turner Old Folks Channel, knowing all was secure. The '23 Yankees now have one existential mission: To embarrass the owner and his hunchback - the Gomer and Goober Pyles of MLB. Last night, Michael Kay noted that Severino doesn't belong in a regular rotation, then added that the Yankees simply have nobody else. Even Kay is starting to wilt under the magnitude of this year's collapse. And 43 games left to play.
Dear God, what a disgrace. Our farm system is weak. Our lineup is a joke. Our owner is, at best, a fool. The worst-run team in NY? Watch out, Dolans. Watch out, Cohen. Watch out, Arizona. The Braves are sensing a sweep. The tanks are coming.
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At least there is no pineapple left to absorb rectally this season--unless it comes in the form of a meaningless win that crucially vaults us over another team in the Tankathon standings.
Pocono -
Yes, there are no more pineapples. All the losses from now on will be more like colon cleanse.
Sure it takes some effort to swallow but ultimately we're flushing out debris that's been hiding in nooks and crannies (sorry Thomas' English Muffin fans) for years.
Lose em all. And again I remind those who use the MLB app. The seven minute condensed game with your morning coffee is a great way to understand why and how thy lost without actually having to sit through even an inning.
Really not much left to say is there? It looked like we didn’t belong on the field with ATL.
I suppose Beverino will shine tonight, which means another 6 weeks of watching him flail.
There’s always another option, though far from ideal. Our two most advanced pitching prospects, Will Warren and Clay Beeter have struggled since being promoted to AAA. Mitch Spence has been unwaveringly mediocre as he falls upward through the farm system, might as well give him a shot.
Used to be we’d always have a veteran pitcher stashed at AAA for the stretch run.
A lot of things used to be…
test one two, test one two...
Houston, do you read me?
I remember in 1996, the World Series, and the Yanks looked pathetic against Atlanta. First couple games, we got spanked, and hard. I thought we just weren't quite "there" yet. And then that Leyritz HR. The rest is history: we won four straight and John Smoltz will hate us forever.
Unfortunately, our current team can do anything like that by any stretch of the imagination.
FanGraphs has us with a 5.4% chance of making the playoffs...Hal still thinks we have a chance...
Hey, hey, hey, Duque! TCM was showing "Mrs. Miniver," one of the great wartime films of all time!! Greer Garson, Theresa Wright (a.k.a., Mrs. Lou Gehrig). Clarence from "It's a Wonderful Life."
It's terrific! A bunch of modestly paid professionals doing the best work they can. A certain baseball team could take a lesson...
@ ranger_lp, HaHa! Those guys FanGraphs are nuts! 5.4 would be slightly better than 1 in 20. How do they come up with those crazy numbers?
ATL also has that pitcher Spencer Strider (yes, what a name! And if only they could get his cousins also, Long Distance Rider and High Plains Drifter). That guy looks terrific, similar to Luis Severino when he first looked like a superstar starter.
Man alive, how the wealthy live, eh? ATL has hitters in bunches, best offense in baseball. ATL lives in a super mansion with all the amenities, including a butler and twelve voluptuously hot maids, whilst the Yankees live in a shack made out of cardboard and newspaper.
Our owner is, at best, a fool. A preposterously wealthy fool.
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