Friday, February 12, 2016

With a two-year deal, will The Master announce lazy?

You see it with some "star" players. They reach a certain level of fame and self-delusion, and then decide not to run out grounders, or to show loyalty to their home city. They square a 10-year, gazillion dollar deal on the other side of the country, just to please Beyonce, and if there is a God in heaven, they'll never be never heard from again, and yes, Smiley, you know who you are.

Well... ahem...

John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman have been calling Yankee games since anyone can remember, and they've been doing it on a year-to-year basis. Every season, never knowing whether it would be their last, they went out day to day, laced up their cleats and talked.

This time, they somehow managed to score a two-year deal, which means - what? - complacency? It better not, because they're taking the hard-earned dimes straight from Hal Steinbrenner's pocket... at a time when the plucky owner can't even afford one free agent.

A two-year deal? They better talk their A-game.

If you're riding on a two-year cream puff, the WinWarbles need to hit 7.00 seconds. No more 6:20 second Sterl Hurls. You gotta be like that Latino soccer announcer, the one who goes Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooahl.

If you're sitting pretty on a two-year pact, the Homer Hollers need to be crisper than "Gardy goes Yardy." I still can't even remember Beltran's call, though that's probably due to Beltran not hitting enough HRs to deserve one.

If you're in this for two years, that law firm that does the work on asbestos victims had better get a busload of viably sick clients, and the Little Debbie Snack Cakes will have to fly off the shelves.

Two years? Fine. But we cannot accept complacency from our tethers to the Yankiverse.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Yes, and they found out he's not actually jewish.