Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Murdoch Has The Latest On John & Suzyn, And It's Juicy. Well, Not Very. Not At All, To Be Honest.

The Wall Street Journal has paid all kinds of attention to John and Suzyn this spring. Here's the latest, and it's juicy. No it isn't. 
And when Ms. Waldman joins [Sterling at the Yankee Stadium press cafeteria] for dinner, they discuss their favorite soap operas at least as passionately as that night's starting line-up. In fact, more so. Ms. Waldman watches "The Young And The Restless" when it's broadcast at 12:30 p.m. Mr. Sterling records it. "They're always talking about people I think are real people—'Why would she do that?'" said sportswriter Jack O'Connell, who joined them for dinner.   
"It's a story line, not unlike soap operas, that goes on day after day," Mr. Sterling said of baseball. 
Click to read the whole thing.

You've Heard Of The M&M Boys, 50 Years Later It's The G&T Boys

As Lyn Lary recently wrote, "After 50 years We’ve graduated from candy to alcohol."

Letter to the Editor: Syracuse has yet another new Yankee king

Syracuse Post-Standard
May 31, 2011

To the Editor:

What alternate sports universe does Timothy J. O’Hare live in where only Yankee fans are obnoxious and Red Sox fans do not treat the opposition, especially Yankee fans, rudely?
I am a lifelong Yankee fan. I have seen games between the two rivals at both ballparks. I am not about to say all Yankee fans are the picture of decorum and class; some ruin the experience for others just like drunken, out-of-control fans do in, yes, Fenway Park.
Perhaps, O’Hare, you conveniently left out the Yankees expletive chants from every age group imaginable that engulf Fenway, even in games where the Yankees aren’t playing in Boston.
Perhaps you were not aware that Little League teams in Chelmsford, Mass., no longer could be called the Yankees because grown adults were using the well-known chants at pre-teenagers.
Perhaps you have not taken the half-mile walk from Fenway Park to the train station where, at every corner, anti-Yankee T-shirts have not just the familiar phrase, but sexually explicit ones.
And finally, perhaps being in the enemy ballpark, it would have behooved you to simply, as you put it, “cheer for the Red Sox” and leave the booing at home.
Scott Miller

The Boss' Involvement With The Ohio State Scandal?

Evidently the scandal goes all the way back to 2002 Who knows it may go back even further. This rare photo of George holding a signed jersey from his old pal Howard "Hopalong" Cassady also shows an Ohio State tattoo on his thigh.

Sarah Palin Tries To Cash In On Brian's Free Agent Wizardry

The People Have Spoken

Those of you who bothered to vote gave John a decisive five-point win over the ever-sorrier Sori.

Seen At A Northern California Yard Sale

The Yankees have an ace. His name is Bartolo Colon. And we may need a good lawyer.

World literature is filled with stories of lowly mortals who cut deals with the Fates -- bad deals, I mean, Jay Buhner-for-Ken Phelps level bad deals. Eve trusted the snake. Faust signed on with Mephistopholes. George Bush asked Dick Cheney to head a VP search committee. We signed Alphonso to a no-trade contract.

Well, we sure don't know WTF Bartolo Colon traded away to turn his Wayback Machine to 2004, and guess what: We don't care. It was worth it. If this is a musical, it's "Damn Redsocks," and we're the hacking, long-suffering Yankee fan who just traded his soul for a hypodermic filled with Roy Halladay's stem cells. Not a problem. We're singing, "Whatever Bartola wants, Bartola gets..." We say, don't ask, don't tell. Ride with it. And this is the news of May 31, 2011.

Bartolo Colon is the Yankees ace, hands down.

When CC or AJ throws two out of three scoreless games -- 8 innings against Baltimore and 9 against Oakland -- well, then they can be the ace. Bartolo is it.

Now... all we need is a good cosmic lawyer, somebody who knows soul law. I'm thinking William Kunstler. Is he dead?

It is time to take nominations for May YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

Bartolommeo, Kung Fu panda II
The Grandy Man, Thor
Tex, Rango
Jorge Vazquez, cave of forgotten dreams

Who else?

Bartolo Operates On A's

Hopefully he will be able to provide a similar service next week for the Red Sox. They are feeling quite full of themselves lately.

Kim Introduces Bob Hope At Overstock.com Coliseum On Memorial Day

Monday, May 30, 2011

16 Years Ago: Derek's First Hit

Derek Jeter’s march toward Yankees history got off to an inauspicious start when he went 0-for-5 in his first major-league game on May 29, 1995......
Then on May 30th SEATTLE, May 30— Melido Perez handed the baseball to his bullpen tonight without instructions and paid for it. Bob Wickman and Steve Howe needed only 10 minutes to tear down the house that Perez built as the Yankees lost to the Mariners, 7-3. Derek Jeter collected the first two hits of his major league career, scored the two runs that tied this game in the seventh inning and then saw Bernie Williams untie it in the raucous eighth. It was all so charming, at the time, to Manager Buck Showalter. The Yankees held a 3-2 lead and Perez had retired 16 straight batters, but then Rich Amaral continued his Ken Griffey impersonation. Perez survived an earthquake of a first inning, retired 19 of 20 batters in the middle innings and then hung on to the nearest handrail. In the eighth, Jeter made a diving stab to turn a potential extra-base hit into a single. Perez thanked him, but, when he walked Tino Martinez on four pitches with the tying run (Mike Blowers) at third base, Showalter lifted him........

It was all so charming, at the time, to Manager Buck Showalter.
Charming and Buck Showalter in the same sentence? Attributable to literary license or a time warp?

Blog Poll Causes John To Be Real Gone

How The Guys Are Doing

There is lots of good news to report on the various Yankee injured:

1. Eric Chavez - took his first unassisted steps today. Though a tad dizzy afterwards, Eric says he can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Pedro Feliciano - has progressed to hot towel applications on his non throwing shoulder. This is purely for precautionary reasons, for within the month Pedro is expected to have warm wraps on his left shoulder as well.

3. Phil Hughes - has soft-tossed an egg from 7 feet. Underhand work with a hacky-sack is only days away.

4. Damasco Marte - this lynchpin to the trade of Tabata, Karstens and 6 first round picks to the Pirates has not been seen on US soil for two years. It is said that he re-injured himself squeezing an over-ripe banana, somewhere in Columbia.

5. Greg Golsten - Greg took three swings with a whiffle bat off the "tee" last week, and is currently awaiting an MRI.

6. Raphael Soriano - After resting for two weeks, Soriano has been moved to the DR for 6-8 weeks of treatment. He daily swirls his throwing hand in warm water for up to 30 seconds at a time. If this regimen proves successful, Sori should be brushing his teeth and walking from flat ground to the rubber twice a day by the all star break.

More to follow as medical reports flow in from the CDC in Atlanta.

Who's Craziest ?

Excuse me, but how can this poll be closed before I have had a chance to vote?

This weed standing alone in the clover has a better chance for long term survival than the voting public on this site.

Open the polls. Open the poles.

I vote that Soriano is the craziest because I know it to be so.

Just one example: he is afraid to pitch on days when his neighbor is cooking beets.

Can you out do this with a John sterling anecdote? Do you have even one?

Those voting for John are doing so only because of documented on air bloopers, including his famous " faux amis " home run calls.

In short, you are taking the lazy way out. You are voting based on his ability to act, not on the substance of his lunacy. Please remember, this is not an election for national office. Acting doesn't count here.

Sounder rules and more meaningful logic must apply.

The polls on this vote-off were only open on the holiday and I was inebriated or something.

Re-open the Poles, say I.

We Always Had Paris

Curtis discusses Yankee mustaches in an interview
Q: Which Yankee would look good in a mustache?
A: Boone Logan said he can grow a nice one.
Q: How would Jeter look with a mustache?
A: Jeter would have to get a very pencil-thin mustache ... razor sharp. It couldn’t be thick. I don’t think he has the face to pull off a thick mustache.
Q: Mariano Rivera?
A: Mariano could get a thicker one, an “OK, this is somebody’s dad or grandfather” type of mustache.
Q: Alex Rodriguez?
A: Same type of one as Jeter.
Q: CC Sabathia?
A: CC could go a little bit thicker than Derek and Alex. His face is bigger. He’d have to get a little bit underneath the lip, though. It’s against policy, but I think he can get away with it.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

50 Years Ago: Yanks Belt 7 HR's During 17 Hit Attack That Overwhelms Sox


Ivan Nova's Message To The Official Scorer Last Night

That ground ball that Derek booted in the 4th inning was not an error? Granted Derek went on to make many fine plays afterwards, but..

K-Long's New Book: Cage Rat

One Amazon reviewer asks us to reconsider the so-called brilliance of K-Long
Kevin Long may be a nice guy, but the players he coaches seem to go through prolonged slumps. Changing Derek Jeter's batting stance was a catastrophe. Nick Swisher hasn't hit all season. The Yankees' DH is batting .179 and other Bronx Bombers are hitting below their skill levels. This book tells a lot about Kevin Long's love of the game and his perseverance through his minor league career, but it loses a lot of zing when one considers how poorly the Yankees are hitting under his coaching.

A Message To It Is High! It Is Far! It Is Caught! From Rafael Soriano

Que estoy loco! I'm crazy you say. Anda que te coja un burro
How crazy is it for this guy to get all these bucks for the Yanks without raising a sweat?

Will we even be in a pennant race when this road trip is over?

Bad feelings here all around.

Two winnable games lost. A Mariano defeat. A homerun offense. Bullpen sucking air. Infield errors. Nobody hitting at the bottom. Age showing in key places. Colon and Garcia still propping us up.

We could come home five games below .500, then face mighty Boston, which a chance to finish the job.

By June 15, we could be done.

Who out there can find hope? Who? Him?

Nope. Doesn't work.

Nope. No hope.
Oph? Hope? Nope.
Who out there can find hope?

Core Meltdown

I guess I was mistaken when I thought Mariano was exempt from this malady

Fear Of A-Rod's Reaction To Fister Causes Pitching Change

Fister was scheduled to start on Sunday, but the prospect of A-Rod's extreme reaction may be responsible for the switch to Vargas pitching instead.

Derek Sends Us Reaching For The Bottle

See that half black boy over there, runnin' scared
His baseball game just goes half throttle
He done quit getting high fives to choke full time
So now his fans are living in the bottle
See that half black boy over there, runnin' scared
His baseball game just goes half throttle
This ol' man has got a problem
Can't do hardly anything,
Minka won't get a wedding ring but a bottle.
And don't you think it's a crime
When time after time, our old heroes send us reaching for the bottle
Living in a bottle
See that half brotha he was so fine before he
Stared to decline
While his fans hit the bottle
Last time he was fine was in 2009
and now he's just markin time,
While his fans hit the bottle.

RIP Gil Scott Heron

Saturday, May 28, 2011

YANKEETORIAL: It's almost time for the annual Yankee Summer Giveaway, so let's look back at last year's sweet deal: Berkman for Melancon

After last night's loss -- which was ten losses combined into one -- we can hear the distant chorus of manic writers screaming for Cashman to make a trade. Exchange some prospects for a mini-van with 200,000 miles on it. Cash for Clunkers. We do it every year, like junkies clamoring for a fix. We pull off the deal and congratulate ourselves.

Let's look at last summer's big deal: The Tri-Fecta of Crap... Mark Melancon to Houston for Lance "Fat Elvis" Berkman.

A former top Yankee prospect, Melancon was barely out the door when the courtier sports press announced that he had no future with the Yankees, because of the glut of young arms in the system. And getting was impressive! The man was an Astros icon, (which is not a good thing to be.)

What happened? The Yankee Tri-Fecta of Crap.

1. Berkman did nothing for us. He botched a few ground balls, became a fulltime DH, then pulled a groiny and missed two weeks. He returned and hit a few warning track flies, which the YES team assured us meant his bat was coming around! He hit one HR in the regular season. He hit one in the post, against Minnesota. He made no difference. Nothing. Nada. If we had tried Jesus Montero or Greg Golson, we could hardly have done worse. COMPLETE DISASTER.

2. Melancon, 26, is now closing for Houston. He has earned the job. His ERA is 1.85, he's 4-1, and nobody's hit a HR off him this year. He has mid-90s stuff. They love him. (He pitched well for them last year, too.) Meanwhile, we're panning the scrap piles for bullpen help. Ayala? Pendleton? Anybody? COMPLETE DISASTER.

3. And now, Berkman is hitting again. Of course! We knew this would happen, right? He's gone home to the NL, and he's hitting .350, 11 HRs. All those hits he didn't get for us? He's getting them for St. Louis. And we didn't even get a draft pick for him. COMPLETE DISASTER.

So now the chorus begins. Vladimir Guerrero could be a Yankee! Or maybe Carlos Beltran!

God help us.

Two Views Of Gutierrez’s Amazing Catch Last Night

The Dave referred to is the late Mariners'announcer, Dave Niehaus

Ernie Bilko Tries Running A Con On Brian Sabean

The pinstripe bible actually thinks that such a deal is possible. I doubt even the great Ernie Bilko could pull off a con like that.

Friday, May 27, 2011

On The Topic Of Crazy New York Yankees: Submitted For Your Approval, Doc Ellis

That was some trade back in 1976!

Prior to the 1976 season, he was part of a deal that helped shape the Yankees for years to come, being sent along with Willie Randolph and Ken Brett to the Yankees for Doc Medich. He went 17-8, 3.19 in 32 starts as the Yankees captured the AL East. Ellis picked up one victory over the Royals as the Yankees took the pennant and he was the losing pitcher in game 3 of the World Series.
After just 3 starts the following season, the outspoken, hard-living Ellis was dealt to the A's for Mike Torrez, who would become a World Series hero that season for the Yankees.

Our Leader In Syracuse: David Krohl

We've previously encountered this great man from a letter he wrote
Pictured above in 2009 he's seen landing a 25-inch, 6 pound burbot (he called it a ling) on Oneida Lake. Frightening, isn't it?


First Ahhnold, now a Yankee?

Minnie Preacher says Twins will win series day before Earth ends

Nomar Garciaparra's page on Baseball Reference

Instructions for Form IT-150


A-ROD SHOCK: You think he's sanest!

ALPHONSO SHOCK: His arrogance pays off!

RUNOFF POLL SHOCK: This ain't over!


The poll is over.

Sori v. Ster

Breaking: MLB Concedes 2011 World Championship to Redsocks

It will spare the rest of baseball from more punishing 14-run defeats.

The Blue Jay of Happiness

At Bardball

There's a fog upon L.A.
And my friends have lost their way...

(Please don't be long)

Susie Speaks About America's Team

The great Susie is a loyal Yankee fan born in the Bronx. Here she is heard being interviewed in 2009 about her book

Has A-Rod bitten off more than he can chew?

We know the deal. One day, she's carpetbombing you on the water-futon; next day, it's popcorn injections at the Super Bowl. It's love, American style, truer than the red, white and blue; love, American Style, it's me and yooooou! Makes the world go round. And after that chlamydia trail Alex Rodriguez has been hiking since 2008, when he ditched the trophy -- well -- he should sign up for the Love Boat.

We hoped he could find peace and happiness with the Hollywood "It" girl of 1996, at least before her lips began to leak. Now, not so sure. Don't think long term, at least according to the journalism gold standard known as the Huffington Post Slide-Show. Cameron Diaz leads the pack on a list of "Celebrities who Think Marriage is for Cows," which is shorthand for "Why Hollywood Gomorrahites Must Not Affect Our Politics."

For whatever it's worth, Alex did well as a married man. Here are Alex's first years, the salad whoring years, when he was -- as Tom Waits would put it -- better off without a wife.

Not bad. But then met Cynthia, his pyschologist future wife. They had some good seasons. Note the boldface numbers. That means he led the league.

Ever since, he's been hitch-hiking along High Maintenance Highway: Madonna, Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz.

Well, who's next? It'll be someone we know. A-Rod's probably 20 years from his female Larry Fortensky. But Cameron Diaz isn't in this for the seeds. It aint love, American style. It's Kong. See them planes, kid? Aint those planes that brought it down. Those planes had nuthin to do with it. It's beauty that killed the beast.

Letter to the Editor: We have found our leader in Syracuse

Syracuse Post-Standard
May 26, 2011
To the Editor:

With the sun finally shining, it’s a beautiful day to head to Onondaga Lake Park and listen to the Yankees game. Oh wait, I can’t do that because WSYR 570, “the supposed home of the Yankees,” is airing that hypocritical gas bag Rush Limbaugh.

After the long winter’s hibernation, it’s always been a pastime for my family and friends to party and picnic and listen to the ballgame outside. But apparently that tradition is no more.

It’s really sad when you live in Syracuse and you can pick up all the Red Sox games on the radio, but the Yankees affiliate picks and chooses its broadcasts. Do us Yankee fans a favor: Drop the “home of the Yankees” mantra, because you’re a fraud.

David Krohl

Jesus is betrayed

Core Three Celebrate Mariano's 1000th Game

Somehow Mariano seems to be aging more gracefully.

Hi-Yo, Silva!

He wins going 7 shut out innings, but Jesus and Jorge wear the golden sombrero.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

In Honor Of Miles Davis' 85th Birthday: A Special Future Hypothetical HR Call From John

Just saying, what if we got Prince Fielder as a free agent next year and John and Suzy are still around to call the games?

Can We Really Believe Andruw Jones?

Jorge is hitting .301 with 17 HR's and 43 RBI's. He's also equal to Andruw in his strike out prowess.

Andruw Explains His Home Run Call

El Duque had been grappling with this bewildering issue

Carlos Silva: The Unsung Hero In The Lowe's Broadcasting Booth

Carlos has not only translated radio spots but he is the Spanish influence for Yankee broadcaster, John Sterling who has made many of us Latinos who prefer to listen to English radio broadcast proud when we hear his almost perfect pronunciations of Spanish surnames. Mr. Sterling has gone beyond surnames and I personally could not help, but smile when I have heard him say specific Spanish words to describe a play, or other topic that he is addressing, like saying “El Capitan” the captain addressing Derek Jeter. It might be a small gesture for some, but it is a big deal to the over two million Latinos living in the city.

btw Carlos is pitching tonight for Scranton

Only Cashman and I Were Right, and We Were Right Early.

Soriano is a bum.

He is a nut job.

He is our 2011-2013 Carl Pavano.

He will wait another 6-8 weeks ( making it 8-10 ), soft toss a while, work himself up to a mound, go to Trenton for a week or two, throw in one big game, get hammered, and then call Dr. Andrews for the surgery.

$31 million.

Cashman blew that much on Kei Igawa, but he was spot on about this loser.

I knew he was a loser when he refused to pitch against teams from the AL East in spring training. He couldn't remember that he threw against all of them for the last few years during the regular season.

Cashman and I begged the Yankees to dump this fraud.

I hope Dr. Andrews cuts his arm off at the elbow.

This year's American Idol ends with somebody winning it!!!!

Damn. It's over? Already? I was planning to start watching in the championship round, but I was planning to catch up with the Real Housewives controversy, and it got away from me.

Here's what we know: Last night, somebody with a big voice beat the runner-up, who -- according to tradition -- will soon become more famous than the winner. But by winning, the winner gets to appear on next year's season, which I will plan to watch and then miss, because something will happen on Real Housewives that I'll make a mental note to follow, and it'll get away from me.

Damn. At least the Redsocks had their man, Steven Tyler, become America's Sweetheart. But we had J-Lo, a Yankee fan. Damn. I can't believe it's over.