Saturday, July 24, 2021

Photo: Omar Robinson @Piff131


Any Info?

Gary Sanchez left yesterday's game in the 6th inning (?), replaced by Rob Brantley.

Brantley is starting today's game.

I can't get any information on Gary from anywhere.

I didn't keep watching the game because, when a rookie ( making his debut ) struck out three Yankees with the bases loaded, I realized there was no point watching Cole suffer. 

And I have now conceded that none of the Yankees recently elevated from Scranton have any future  in the game.

The Boston phenom is, indeed, a phenom.

But we have Jessica Dominguez, who is better than Mantle.


Excitement brewing about Yankee team in Dominican Summer League

They recently rolled up 21 runs in a tough 22-21 loss to their Dominican Summer League rivals, the Dominican Summer League Mariners.

The team stole 10 bases, recorded 13 hits and 19 walks, going 8-29 with runners in scoring position!

All 22 players who came to the plate, including scrubs, reached base.

Looks like the Yankees should be stocked by 2026!

Yankee loss elevates team to 19th in next year's draft

It's time to tank.

Friday, July 23, 2021

Text of the day

 From Mustang...

"I am never shopping at Kresge's again."

Thank God....

 ....Boone saved Chappy for tonight, when we'll be down seven runs.

....that someone publicly insulted the Rays by saying they, " just acquired their Stanton ( Cruz )."

....that Gleyber only gets a few ground balls per game.

....that July 31 can't come soon enough.

I just want to remind everyone that this team was always destined, at best, to the play-in game of the wild card episode. 

( Despite the lies from Yankee central that " this team is built for winning the World Series.")

Lying is a sin.

God said so.

Ask the fucking painting. 

What if...

If we had not blown four games in the last inning during the past month, several with amazingly large leads going in, we would be 54-41.

We would be four games out of first. And only three in the all-important loss column.  Since last night's fuckup was against Boston, we'd be three games out and two in the loss column.

None of us would be hanging our heads in shame and anger because we're Yankees fans.

This year's Yankees team is the Anti-Jeter squad

 When Derek Jeter retired, and Keith Olbermann and the stats folks rolled out Excel spreadsheets showing the Jeet's fWarOPQ+/~¿EIEIO ratio ranked his career equal to Wayne Tolleson, I made a comment on a post to say that those folks were missing the point. Jeter was about moments, and how he had a knack for being part of so many special plays and memories that you could not measure with whatever supercomputer you want to trot out.

This team is the anti-Jeter. The season is being defined not by the team's win-loss record, but by the ever-increasing number of "What the fuck just happened?" moments.

You look at the numbers, and Boone and Cashman will bring up their spreadsheets and say that this team is pretty good. Hey, it's 5 games OVER .500! It's still in the playoff chase! We're just a 42-year-old right-handed DH away from being a World Series contender.

But it's not the record. I've never seen a team blow so many games, so horrendously, with such maddening incompetence. Just when you think it can't get any worse, someone else steps up and says, "hold my fifth of tequila." 

The awful extra-inning blown-third-strike loss against the Red Sox. Chapman's implosions against the Mets and Angels. The debacle against the Astros. After each one, it was loudly proclaimed that the Yankees had "hit rock bottom."

Each time, we all thought "it couldn't possibly get any worse."

And then there was last night. The bunch of no-names was starting to generate some buzz, getting our hopes up that we would have something to root for. It was all a tease. Green blew the save, of course. (Where have you gone, Mariano?) The Yankees scored the "ghost runner" in spite of themselves, and Stanton had the worst at-bat in the history of baseball (swinging at two pitches that didn't come close to reaching the plate). Then Kriske's epic performance, throwing an incredible four wild pitches (all of which Stanton would have swung at). MLB's stats folks immediately noted that it was a record for most wild pitches in an extra inning in history. I assume it also set the record for most TV screens kicked in. Boone had the audacity in the presser to mention the "big strikeout" of Martinez that Kriske got.  

And again, it's said that the Yankees have "hit rock bottom." Eventually, you have to admit that this team hasn't hit rock bottom, it has set up camp there.

And so, the anti-Jeter season goes on. The YES Network folks will shake their heads sadly, but tell us that things will get better. By now, we know better. At this point, the only thing we can do is wonder what could possibly happen next. 

This is a team only a masochist could love. 

The season didn't end last night, but the Yankees' quest for the AL East did

We're not cows, right? If the Jumbotron says, "MOO," we don't "moo." We're thinking fans.

And we have personal limits of self-abuse, right? We do not subject ourselves to methods of enhanced self-interrogation, such as waterboarding or reading the Daily Mail. We are Yankee fans - not a doomsday cult. 

I want that understood. We are not Met fans, Jet fans, Knick fans... once upon a time, we rooted for the marquee team in all of baseball. Under the rules of the Geneva Convention, we do not allow self-torture. 

That said, we are dying here. Hand in the blender. Can somebody turn it off? Eleven days after the worst loss of the season - a horror show ninth against Houston - we topped it last night. You can say the common denominator is Chad Green, but he's not alone. To paraphrase Hillary, it takes a franchise to raise a debacle. It's the trimmings - the botched grounders, the lunging swings, the pitches to the backstop - that turn victories into PTSD flashbacks. Chad Green isn't a closer, that's all. The real question: Why was he out there? 

Nope. I'm not staggering down that path...  No self-torture! That's my motto. They cannot hurt us anymore, because we are already dead. 

So, it's a last-birth-in-the-wild-card season, now. It always was. We just didn't know it. I personally shall spend the next eight days wondering if we're not better off losing. The great fear now is that Cooperstown Cashman, in a desperate quest to keep his job, will make some generationally horrible trades, like the ones that got us here. 

Today, the Yankiverse pulses with rumors that Cashman will drain the farms for a Trevor Story or a Jose Ramirez. Whatever he does, the YES men - that is, the Yankee- owned media - will quickly applaud it as the work of genius, and the team will chase that last birth, the carrot on the stick for middling mediocrity - for teams who don't know enough to tank. 

Last night, the Rays traded for Nelson Cruz. Soon, Boston will activate Chris Sale. The Yankees? We look forward to the return of Nestor Cortez. 

I can't take much more of this. Right now, let's just hope Cashman sticks to the one thing he has historically mastered: Scouring the scrap heaps for talent. Let's direct all our juju towards jamming up his phone, so he cannot make another midsummer, decade-killing blockbuster.  

"Moo?" Fuck that. I say, "Boo." 

Thursday, July 22, 2021

The message of the modern day New York Yankees... in four simple words

 "You cannot buy hunger."

Just Had To Say It...

 Finally, this team is fun to watch.


Greg Allen lighting it up and running the bases.

Florial showing he cares.  And running the bases.

Gary being a steady player with power.

Odor hitting third.

Torres re-emerging ( even with that leaky glove) and hitting to right field.

LaMarre playing like it is a hockey game. 

Wojo on the hill with no chance at all.

DJ having fun with the grand kids. 

We are winning with chutzpah and speed.

Win or lose.  

It is a much better watch. 

We can trade those other guys.

Comment of the night


Zack and El Chapo better get their acts together soon - (like, beginning tonight)


Okay, here we go... 

Fenway. Four games. Two on national TV. A divisional race at stake. This time, the nutjobs will be throwing balls at our outfielders, spitting at our wives. Whatever lights blink in centerfield, they won't be from this planet. Moreover, the bullpen guards will want to fight. 

We still have time to catch Boston, but not if we blow this. Nope. Lose this weekend, and the AL East is  Tampa's and Boston's to luxuriate over. The Death Barge will spend another August/ September chasing the final wild card slot - the NYC equivalent of Hogwart's Golden Snidget. 

Also at stake: The existential future of this franchise. For better or worse, the front office seems determined to wade deeper into Big Muddy - trading prospects for immediate help at the Aug. 1 deadline. A few wins in Boston could amplify that madness - even as the victories might come, ironically, via the prospects they eventually trade. (Estevan Florial, Hoy Park... farewell?) 

But topping our Official List of Current Yankee Nightmares is the bullpen, once touted as baseball's best. Unless Jonathan "Patient Zero" Loaisiga returns with full command - (many don't, after quarantining two-weeks) - the Yankees have no late-inning option beyond the doe-eyed warhorse, Chad Green, and whomever just Uber'ed-in from Central Pa. To beat Boston, somebody must pitch the ninth. That's a problem.

Since returning from his latest tweak, Zack Britton has pitched in three games. Three. He has yet to throw a scoreless inning. Last night, a booted grounder by Gleyber Torres opened the floodgates, but suddenly Britton - an 11-year vet - could not throw strikes. The three-run lead vanished, and all we had was the disappointing Nick Nelson - he, of the plus-9.00 ERA. It's hard to imagine the Yankees succeeding in Fenway without Britton. It's now or  never.

Last night, Aroldis Chapman pitched a scoreless inning, with his customary leadoff walk and 10 near heart attacks. He later picked off the runner, so there's that. But it's no way to survive - walking them and picking them off. On June 6, El Chapo's ERA stood at 0.39; he was enjoying the greatest season of his 12-year career. Today, it stands at 4.28. That, my friends, is a fucking meltdown. 

In the last four outings since his pre-All-Star nervous breakdown, Chapman he has given up only one run. Still, every inning seemed to last 1,000 years. Last night, after El Chapo recorded the final out, Michael Kay giddily shouted, "THE STARE IS  BACK!" referring to the glare Chapman gives vanquished batters. Maybe. But I still see Chapman staring into The Abyss. And when you stare into the Abyss... well, we know what Freddie Nietzsche had to say about that, right? 

The Abyss stares back. 

We can't beat Boston without Britton and Chapman climbing out of The Abyss. Right now, they remain differing versions of a train wreck. They have today to figure it out. 

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Pssst: Gerrit Cole is having a Cy Young season


Biting A Bullet

 After a pitcher of " Sidecars" and a bag of M&M Peanuts, here is what I would do.

Bite the bullet and;

1.  Give Centerfield to Florial

2.  Give left field to Allen ( is he related to Richie Allen of the old Phillies?)

3.  Give first base to Gittens

4.  Give second to DJ

5.  Keep Gary at catcher, and Torres and Urshela at their spots. 

Play ball.

A Couple Of Thoughts...

1) Sometimes The Jokes Just Write Themselves

Boone on Florial “He’s got loads of talent,” manager Aaron Boone said. “Tonight he was really good. … Hopefully he can continue to give us that shot in the arm.”

You know what else would have given the Yankees, "A Shot In The Arm"? 

2)  Trader Schmo 

Mr. Duque recommends that we stand pat and there is a lot of wisdom to the argument. I'm more of a damned if we do, damned if we don't type guy. Especially with Trader Schmo calling the shots. 

That said, we have to watch this collection of chuckleheads for the rest of the year. (And let's face it, for the rest of our lives) so I say trade away... with one caveat. 

Only players that are already on the 26 man roster and the IL. That way we don't hurt the future and we give ourselves new people to eventually hate. Plus, the guys who just came up get to stay. 

We also get to keep the current crop of future disappointments. 

Mr. Duque feels we don't have cards to play. I'm thinking it's about packaging. For example a team that's out of it and looking to next year, such as KC  might be interested in...  

The Mashers From M*A*S*H

We take Clint "Fastest Swing in the West" Frazier (Who sadly plays in the East), Aaron "He's Under Par" Hicks, and Luke "The Body" Voit  and put them all in a package for one good uh... anything.  The team we trade to gets THREE bonified major leaguers. (Eventually).  

It's quite a package...  A Gold Glove nominee (Like I said above, sometimes the jokes write themselves.) the reigning Home Run Champ and, an on-base machine!  

We get a player worth watching right now. 


Chapman has a history of failing in big games. But what if he was traded to a team that doesn't play in big games? All we need back is a good pitcher who can handle the 5th and 6th. (Because our starters only go 4-5).  They get a top closer we get a pitcher to bridge to Greene. It's a win-win. Toss in some money to pay half of Chappy's salary and get a top 10 Minor Leaguer from their organization. 

A top closer AND money? Who wouldn't go for that? 


Heading into the trade deadline, the Yankees basically have no cards to play

Every morning, a parade of cooing headlines touts possible Yankee trade targets, as our boys pursue that magical, final AL wild card slot. (We're four games behind Oakland, one behind Seattle and tied with Toronto.) Commonly, we see names like Marte and Gallo and Story (oh my!) coming to the Yankees at prices that only make sense to toad-lickers. 

Any major deal to shore up their sore spots - the rotation, bullpen and outfield - will come at a price tag that chases Cooperstown Cashman into the caves of Connecticut. With his job on the line - which it might just be - he cannot afford a bum trade.  

Unless the ghost of Syd Thrift inhabits some GM's body, nobody is going to give us decent value for Voit, Frazier, Andujar, Gardner, Gleyber or Stanton - all of whom are season-long disappointments. The few players coveted by other teams happen to represent the future of the Yankees. 

For example, Estevan Florial clearly isn't ready now - he's a .190 hitter with far too many Ks - but in three years, (he'll be 26), his speed and power could make him a solid CF. Likewise, several infielders have had breakout summers in our farm system. But trading them - that's how the Yankees got into this mess. 

It's hard to see the 2021 Yankees winning anything meaningful in October. But if we're thinking of a sell-off - what's the point of trading players at their lowest value? We're better off waiting until winter. 

On that note, a suggestion: Stand the fuck pat. 

Old Rumsfeld may be gone - and good riddance! - but the guy had it right: 

You go to war with the army you have. This is the 2021 Yankees. This is the army we have. 

Let's consider our problems: 

Rotation: Cole is great, maybe even Cy Young. Tailon and Montgomery remain quirky. Severino might return; nobody holds their breath. Cory Kluber? A longshot. Mike King? Meh. We have spare parts at Scranton, nobody sticks out. (Deivi Garcia has completely tanked, and Clarke Schmidt looks like a wipeout.) To get Max Scherzer, we'd have to trade Yankee Stadium. We're better off rolling the dice with Cessa and Nasty Nestor (Octavio) Cortez. Most of all, we don't need another Sonny Gray. 

Bullpen: O'Day is o-done. Loaisiga should soon return. Let's face it: El Chapo either conquers his demons this weekend at Fenway, or this season is over. The last key is Zack Britton. If he could return to form, we still have a bullpen. But late July is when teams love to trade us lug nuts who had a nice first half and are ready to implode. Must we do this again?

Outfield: Judge returns soon. (And everybody better be fucking vaccinated; anybody who isn't - I don't care who - should be sent home.) Don't we love the speed and hustle of Greg Allen? For kricesakes, put him in CF, fulltime. Make LF a mash-up of Gardy, Stanton, LaMarre, Andujar and Frazier (assuming he returns; I think there's a chance he's done for the year.) Yeah, Stanton must play LF now and then. Frankly, I don't care if he gets hurt. We're a 4th place team with him. We can be a 4th place team without him. If he plays OF, we have a better chance of trading him next winter.

You go to the war with the army you have. Cashman built this army. Trades cannot save this team. 

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

The Iceman Bloweth

(Written by HoraceClarke66) 
You know, I hate to pile on, but…Aww, who the hell am I kidding? 

love to pile on, and now that the Miami Millstone is about to play the field for  the first time in two years, I can’t help myself.


We all know the stories of Yankees greats in the past climbing out of hospital beds and brothels to win a key game or series, right?  


Joe, Joe DiMaggio flying up to Boston at the last minute to rout the Red Sox in a key series in 1949. 


The Mick limping to the plate on half-a-knee and a hangover the size of Oklahoma to belt the game-winning, pinch-hit home run on numerous occasions in the 1960s, and somehow managing to not puke until he had reached the clubhouse again.


The Great One, Mariano Rivera, confessing after he had wrapped up the deciding game in the 2009 World Series—the last one any of us will ever see the New York Yankees win—that he was hurting so bad he didn’t know if he could pitch.


Then there’s Giancarlo.


Critical series against the hated Red Sox. Every other Yankee, including his Twin Tower, Aaron Judge, felled by the cowpox. 


The team was up against it, and the breaks were beating the boys. Time to win one for us all—right, Mr. Stanton?




Instead, Giancarlo was as icy cold as he has been for over a month-and-a-half now. Against some highly hittable Sox pitchers. 


In what was otherwise a marvelously gutsy, hustling win over the Carmine Hose, the workout king sang songs of futility.


Stanton was 0-12 on the series. That’s right: not one, measly, infield single. Not even a walk—just 5 strikeouts. He did manage an RBI—on a groundball that narrowly missed becoming his 14thdouble-play on the season.


But that’s par for a long course now. Our icy slugger has had 116 plate appearances since June 10th. In that time, he’s managed 3 home runs and 12 ribbies. Two doubles, no triples. Some 20 walks—and 30 strikeouts.


But even that’s deceptive. For the entire month of July, Giancarlo has all of 3 walks, and 14 Ks. 


Our big bopper, our last slugger standing, has iced up just when we need him most.  

To paraphrase Oliver Cromwell, by all means put Stanton in the outfield, he has sat too long for any good he has been doing. And let’s hope that hastens his departure.

To escape a trap of their own making, the Yankees look to the man who got us here. (And what would the Boss do?)

Twelve days until the trade deadline, the Cultural Thought Police are at it again, trying to rewrite our sacred history. 

Their latest purge: They now claim that in Thunder Road, after the screen door slams, Mary's dress "sways," when we all know it "waves." An inanimate object cannot sway. It requires purposeful movement. Hips sway. Bodies sway. A dress waves. I'm telling you, this is an outrage! Call YES. We must mobilize to stop the playing of Critical Bruce Theory on our AM radio stations. What's next? 

"Raul Dahl the window and let the wins blow black your ear...?"

"There were goats in the eyes of all the boys you sent away...?"

"I wanna die with you Wendy on the streets tonight with an everlasting piss...?" 

Make no mistake: The Yankiverse is jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive. Worst of all, the latest consensus seems to suggest that Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman - the very man who drove us into this ditch - will save us with some ludicrous, lop-sided trade. Oh, Mr. Krueger, could you please enter my dreams and cure my insomnia?

The latest rumors: To solve its acute outfield crisis, the Death Star will chase 32-year-old Sterling Marte (a RH batter, no less) or the tomato can Rangers' K/HR/BB machine, Joey Gallo. Neither will come cheaply, and neither will solve our massive problems. The question is whether the Yankees will drain their farms for that rare player - the one who actually could make things worse. 

Long, long ago - before Al Gore's informational superhighway - to follow Yankee prospects, you had to subscribe to Baseball America and wait each week for the stat leaders in each league. Last night, with nothing better to do - thanks, TV networks - I combed the Top 25 stats in each league to see who we have. Here's what I found:

Triple A Scranton, one batter: Hoy June Park, ranks 5th, at .325. Park, a legitimate breakout player, is now buried on the Yankee bench. (Boone did Park no favor by pinch-hitting him - first ever MLB at bat - in the most critical moment of Friday's loss to Boston. Two men on  and two outs. He swung at the first pitch, a broken bat grounder. I wonder if he should change his name to "Moonlight Graham?" He's 25 and, I suspect, will be traded.

Double A Somerset, one batter: Diego Castillo ranks 8th, at .297. He's a 23-year-old 2B with power (11 HRs.) Somebody would happily take him. 

High Single A Hudson Valley, one player: 2B Ezequiel Duran ranks 16th, at .279. He is 22, also showing speed and power. Part of a package?

Low Single A Tampa, four players: Ranked 8th is Josh Smith, a SS-2B, at .333. He's 23 and has been since promoted to Hudson Valley.

Ranked 13th is SS Anthony Volpe, a former first-round pick who is generating a lot of buzz. He is hitting .302 with 12 HRs, still among league leaders, though he's also been bumped up to High Single A. (Because of the buzz, the Yankees probably won't trade him, unless it's for a Max Scherzer type.)

Ranked 16th is 22-year-old 2B Trevor Hauer at .296. He started hot, cooled, and has heated up lately. He faces a logjam of infielders ahead of him, and that could make him tradeable. 

Ranked 21st is OF Jake Sanford at .291. He's 23 and has also been promoted.

Any package Cashman throws together will probably include at least one of the above. Frankly, I'm terrified that he will trade a future star for someone who was good four years ago, and who now will merely amplify the current malaise. 

This weekend, Yankee fans glimpsed a hungry and hustling lineup of nobodies, who somehow beat Boston and salvaged our dignity. It was a small sample size, and we shouldn't expect it to last. But I, for one, will hate to see us trade for another performer long past his sell-by date. Don't we have enough, already? And we're in fourth. 

Well, at least they'll never steal our Bruce Truth: 

Oh, Sandy, the aurora is rising behind us/ Them beer lights, our carnivore lives forever ... 

Monday, July 19, 2021

In the middle of a blow-out Yankee win, Buster Olney ponders Yankeeageddon.

So, lemme get this straight: 

Four years into The Abyss, the Death Barge will finally ponder the unponderable: 

Giancarlo Stanton playing the field. 

Dear god. It's true - maybe. According to Fox's Buster Olney last night, Giancarlo will soon play LF, where presumably he'll have to run after fly balls, rather than using his signature, Robby Cano-meets-Betty White, zombie apocalypse lope. Since the day Stanton arrived, the sense has been that any time he approaches high gear, something will snap, and he'll spend six weeks in the hot tub. Apparently, the bubble wrap no longer fits. It's an emergency, time to break glass.

Has Cooperstown Cashman finally seen The End? Aaron Judge is approaching free agency, and if the Yankees plan to keep him long term, they need a secondary slot at DH, to occasionally rest him. If Giancarlo is full-time DH through 2028, there is no room for Judge. Keeping both would be a colossal waste of time, talent and what Food Stamps Hal covets most - moolah, bread, ka-ching, globba, perdoochi... cabbazingos!   

Last night, Olney reported that opposing GMs are postulating that, if the Yankees fall apart in July, they will do the unthinkable: entertain trade offers for Judge, their biggest star, as Boston did with Mookie Betts. The Fox broadcast crew - including A-Rod - reacted as if Olney had just promised his soul to the maw of Satan. 

In fact, such an endgame has been on the minds of Yankee fans for months. 

As long as Stanton is the everyday DH - with no flexibility, whatsoever - there is no long term slot for Judge, who has his own tweaks and strains. They must either somehow jettison Stanton - and his Mariah Carey contract - or they might as well seek a package of prospects for Judge - because in this current jam-up, they're a fifth place team that finishes fourth only because the division includes Baltimore. 

One huge caveat: Trading Judge - and pressing a giant Reset Button - would require Cashman to admit that his strategy for the last four years has crashed and burned.  For the Yankees to save face - especially in a season when the Mets might win their division - Cashman would probably have to step down. Would he do it? Could he do the right thing? 

(I recognize that what I'm about to say is blaspheme here... but  over the years, I have come to be sorta fond of Cashman, and the rumba dance he must continually do to keep his job. Working for Hal must be far worse than it was for George. At least the old guy knew what he wanted. Cashman constantly chases conflicting objectives - to win, to sign big names, to keep the payroll down, etc.  If we think any GM can save this franchise, we're kidding ourselves.) 

Oh, one other thing: Last night, watching young Yankees hustle - what a joy!

There was Chris Gittens making two great catches down the RF foul line.

There was Greg Allen and Ryan LaMarre, running on Christian Vasquez, cracking open the Redsock defense in a way the savvied veterans never try.

There was Trey Amburgey crashing into the RF wall and - holy crap - Rougned Odor laying down a perfect drag bunt! Why doesn't he do this more often? The guy is hitting .224. Why not bunt every game, directly challenging the over-shift? What does he have to lose: He's hitting frickin' .224!  

So... now what? Two out of three ain't bad. Moreover, Boston suddenly doesn't look so destiny-bound. Still, the 2021 Yankees' signature move has been to win a few games, then give them back. A two-game streak means nothing, unless it leads to eight or 10.

Last night's victory cut Boston's division lead to 7 games. But that's a mirage.  Tampa leads us by six, and Toronto is heating up. The crossroads are here. We'll soon see something we hadn't anticipated: Giancarlo in the outfield. And if he can't cut it, Yankeeageddon!

Sunday, July 18, 2021

Yankees have finally found their closer


Yankees win a game, lose a player... and maybe say farewell to dignity

Fact from Wikipedia: The idiom "coming out of left field" - which means an unanticipated, crazy event - may stem from the Chicago Cubs' original ballpark, where a mental institution behind left field had inmates screaming loudly during games. 

Last night, everything came out of left field.

First, the awful: Making a heroic catch down the line, Yankee LF Tim Locastro blew out his knee. Torn ACL. 

It is impossible not to feel sick over this.

Locastro - born in Syracuse, raised in Auburn - had just turned 29. He was playing for the team he grew up following. He was appearing on national television, arguably the biggest game of his career. Now, he's done for 2021. He'll seek a comeback next spring, and it's possible his greatest asset - his speed - will be compromised. 

I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying to the juju gods...

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You slimy assholes should be ashamed of yourselves. If there is a god, I hope He cleans house with two-bit, game-fixing deities like you. Who put you up to this? Last night is the rottenest thing you've done since Dustin Fowler, in his MLB debut, tore up his knee in Comiskey Park, causing Joe Girardi to weep. 

This just sucks. You know, I can understand the notion that the Yankees field a bunch of overpaid china dolls, thus we collect injuries like fleas at a dog show. But Locastro is no prima dona. Two weeks ago, I watched him turn a single into a double, by pure hustle. And last night, after slamming into the wall and grabbing his knee, he bounced up to keep a Redsock runner from scoring. And you saw fit to do this? 

Seriously, fuck you. I am keeping a file on you shitwads. Someday, if there is any justice in this universe, I will haul you fucktwats into a tribunal, where you will be held accountable for your actions. (And I will demand you are placed under a conservatorship run by Jamie Spears - or better, Alphonso. How would you like that!) 

Insert sigh here.

Another thing came out of left field last night - a baseball, thrown by a fan at Boston outfielder Alex Verdugo. As a result, the game was stopped for several minutes - all during a driving rain. I don't blame Boston for walking off. There are shitheads in the clouds, and there are shitheads in the bleachers. God spare us from both. But it used to be the biggest assholes - by far - appeared in Fenway. That's where the security guard fought Jeff Nelson. That's where the fan punched Gary Sheffield while chasing a foul. That's where the fans made Roger Clemens' wife fear for her life. Now, it's happening in New York.

Okay, we're not exactly angels on this site. We live and die for the Yankees. That's our thing. But I hope that everyone here recognizes this site as a place to vent, not to actually wish for injuries upon a player or to launch stupid fights, like nutjobs out behind left field.

That said, I have a solution to this current malaise: 

Let's stick Giancarlo out in left. Hey, what can happen? 

From the flight deck of the Oumuamua

A HoraceClarke66 Joint 

Conversation recorded between First Officer Ne*1goar? and Navigator Rarg23)z! on the flight deck of the IGS Oumuamua, Star Date 5.36.58.

Ne*1goar?:  All right. (clicking on and off very important switches) Here we are again at…(consults chart) Star System Sol, for what the only literate species in the system calls their sun.

Rarg23)z!: You call those guys literate?  Have you seen their fan blogs?

?:  Be that as it may, we are now approaching their first orbital object of interest, what they call, “Pluto.”


!:  They’re still debating whether it’s a planet or an asteroid.

?:  I’d love to be there when they discover it’s actually a stray Gliesean interstellar mine. Or really, I’d rather not be within 10 parsecs of here when they do.

!:  Hahahahaha. You make the same joke every time.


?:  Hey, jokes only get better with age. So here’s Neptune, Uranus—


!:  My anus? What about your—


?:  Yeah, my jokes are tired. You make that one again and I swear, I will ring all three of your necks.


!:  Saturn, Jupiter. All planets devoid of “life as we know it,” as they like to say.


?: If only they knew Jupiter’s deep-sea methane slugs have been voted species most likely to dominate the galaxy three millennia in a row.


!:  Mars…


?:  Can’t wait until one of their subterranean mega-snakes pops out and eats that silly little Rover they’re all so proud of.


!:  And…Earth. You still following the Yankees?


?: Yup. Though I don’t know why.


!:  I have an anticipated lifespan of over 500,000 years, and even I will never understand how it is that Brian Cashman thinks every year he can put together a championship team without a bench or a bullpen.


?:  Uh, Earth to alien ball fan?  How about an all-righty lineup—in Yankee Stadium! If he only knew how many light years away THAT gets a good laugh at the bar. 


!:  And that pitching staff? I’ve seen better ones made out of used droids and faulty O-rings.


?:  All right, well, this has been a big snore. Is that little jerk Altuve ready to beam up yet?


!:  Nah. He says he’s having too much fun. Next, he’s going to slip into their big space center in Houston and change all their coordinates.


?:  That’s just like the little weasel. Hey, did you hear what they’re calling us now?


!: No, what?


?: “Oumuamua.”


!:  Wha-at?


?: We put it in their brains that it’s a native Hawaiian word, meaning, “scout.” Next time around, we’re going to have them call us, “Oo ma moochi gamma gamma goochi,” and say it’s an ancient Inuit word meaning, “Returning friend.”


!: Do you guys in the officers’ lounge ever stop?


?: Have to do something to keep the good times rolling. Hey, whattaya say, since we’re here we stop in at Venus for a shvitz and a little Venusian hana hana?


!:  You got me. Just so long as we don’t have to talk baseball anymore.

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Who says Giancarlo can’t make adjustments?

From the mind of HoraceClarke66. 

It has been noted recently that Giancarlo “Mr. Millstone” Stanton seems to be cutting down on his strikeouts these days. He has a mere 83 Ks in 70 games this season, which projects to a season total of 168—provided he can play all remaining 72 games.

(Spoiler alert:  he won’t.)


But unnoticed by many, is Giancarlo’s newfound ability to…bounce into double-plays!


He has 13 on the season thus far, and is thus on schedule to end up with about 26. AND…as Stanton now has 15 homers, it’s entirely possible he could end up with more DPs than homers.


Hey, it happens. Even such Yankees greats as Jorge Posada, Paulie O’Neill, and, yes, Joe DiMaggio, in his last, injury-ridden year, have had seasons in which their GIDPs exceeded their HRs.


But of course, all those past stars more than made up for it with their many years of marvelous play in the field as well as at bat, and the many championships they led our New York Yankees to.


Surely, Giancarlo Stanton will reward us in the same way.




Trust me. You have to cut and paste but... Yikes!!!

Leader By default....

 With the Yankee team defined by power and exit velocity these days, the clear, undisputed team leader ( due to cover and IL ) is now Giancarlo Stanton.

Big G ( seen above ) was hired by Hal for $230 million ( give or take ).

He is in the line-up, everyday , at the 2,3,4 or 5 hole.  To do the most damage possible.

Last night, after a week's rest , his batting the biggest game of the year ( to date )...went like this:

1.  Ground into Double play

2.  Whiff

3.  Whiff

4.  Whiff

What other player, in either league,  would be automatically written into the line-up with this record?

On many days, he gets the golden sombrero.  Sometimes, even, the platinum one.

Until the Yankees realize the magnitude of this error, they will never compete.

And it ain't showing any signs of life. 

HoraceClarke66: In case you need more proof that Hal Steinbrenner doesn’t give a damn.

From the Situation Room of HoraceClarke66...

 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. WAIT.

 The Yankees-Red Sox series this weekend—the decisive series of the season for your New York Yankees—is going ahead as planned? With one-quarter of the Yankees’ roster, including their best player, banned from playing?

 We are old here. But we are not so old that we cannot remember what happened a-way back in April. 

 When the New York Mets had their entire, opening series against the Washington Nationals canceled because of positive Covid tests. I forget which team had the Covid—but it didn’t matter. MLB was cool with it:

 ‘Hey, make ’em up when you can, it’s a long season, no harm no foul.’

 But now, it’s imperative that the Yankees play with six men out due to Covid, including Aaron Judge? 

EVEN THOUGH, as the New York Times reports, the Boston Red Sox have one of the lowest vaccination rates in baseball.

So…our guys get vaccinated, somehow get infected with the Delta Dawn variant anyway, and they can’t play? Out of fear that they will pass it on to…unvaccinated, irresponsible blockheads like the Red Sox?

I can’t say I’m truly outraged. This is such a badly constructed Yankees team, such an ongoing shitshow, dumpster fire, Hidenburg of a season, that it probably won’t make a damned bit of difference.

 But if this were the other way around, Boston fans would’ve burned Yankee Stadium down by now in protest.

 And yet, is there a peep of protest from Brian “Lucky” Cashman? No, of course not! The plague has provided Lucky with the perfect alibi for his wretched job this season.

 Is there a peep from Hal Steinbrenner, putative owner of the New York Yankees?

 No, there is not. Because he does not care.

 Hal’s father, George the Mad King, was a son-of-a-bitch. He was a mean-spirited, bullying lout, who didn’t know a damned thing about baseball. Old George drove at least two businesses into the ground, and he would’ve done the same to the New York Yankees had he not been miraculously saved, on at least two occasions, by underlings he then fired or drove out of the Bronx as soon as he could.

 But George Steinbrenner was at least willing to stick up for himself and his team. King George would have responded to this outrage with fire and brimstone, lawyers, guns, and money. 

 Prince Hal is an empty suit. He doesn't give a damn, and it shows.

A Yankee Fan's Response Haiku

The season blows cold 

Like wind from a Stanton swing

Sell the fucking team.

The Haiku of A. Boone (continued)


By A. Boone

We've got to mount a
little more on offense to
give ourselves a chance.


Spring training Yankee lineup and lifeless defeat foreshadows an August 1 lawn sale

Last year, Boston studied the Covid mini-season and saw an opportunity. With Chris Sale and Eduardo Rodriguez out, Mookie Betts dealt and cardboard fans in the bleachers, they cynically chose to tank and play for 2021. And here they are: Beating the Yankees like a cheap rug, from Fenway to the farms.

It's time for the Death Barge to respond - in kind. This horrible team has already displayed a genius for blowing 9th-inning leads and hitting clutch DP grounders, but this week, they outdid themselves.  

According to reports, one of the Yankee Covid Six never got vaccinated, helping to birth the current roster meltdown. If that's true... well... whomever it is, I sincerely wish him a full recovery - after coughing his lungs into burnt matchsticks and begging the nurses to let him die. Sadly, we can't vaccinate for stupidity. This guy infected his team during the season's most critical stretch, and he should be traded for a box of Cheetos, even if his last name happens to be Judge.

As the Aug. 1 deadline approaches, unless this team goes on a tear - (there I go again, falling into the "what if?" trap, why do I do this?) - the Yankees should ditch all playoff fantasies and start thinking of 2022-23. It's not a fun thought. Their roster is so larded with overpaid albatrosses that Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner - who somehow sees himself as a crafty businessman - will need to pay opposing teams to absorb them. For reasons worthy of a tell-all book, Hal will never fire GM Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman, but Cash should be promoted to an office with no phone or internet connection and given the job of cutting ribbons during Hope Week. All those big money names on the Yankee masthead - the Randys, the Damons, the Lonns - should be dispatched to Oregon with squirt guns and electric fans.

We should view the remainder of 2021 as a Covid mini-season, with a surge already underway, thanks in part to folks like the unvaccinated Yank. Some thoughts on the deadline...

1. Trade Aroldis. This won't be easy. El Chapo makes $16 million per season through 2023. We'll have to pay half his salary. But if last night's scoreless ninth was a symbolic victory, it's worth noting that two blasts nearly left the park (and judging from Chappy's body language, he thought Rafael Devers' ball was gone), he walked a batter with a pitch in the dirt, and his pickoff toss was Knoblauchian. No way can I imagine him saving a one-run game. Maybe a five-run lead? That might work. (Oh, wait... Boone didn't do it last time, eh?) Trade him. Whatever we can get.

2. Trade Gary Sanchez. If necessary, release the Kraken. I know he's gone on a nice little streak, raising his average to a Ruthian .215, and I do respect his willingness to adapt. But last night, Gary was back to lunging at balls in the dirt, and we've seen this movie before. The time to trade him is now, while he's still above .200. Whatever we can get.

3. Trade Giancarlo. Okay, this will be really expensive.  We may have to kick in $50 million - or more. So be it. He is a middling DH whose inability to play the outfield clogs up the roster. Last night, when he fanned in the ninth, the boos were loud. They will get louder. Why put this guy through hell? Trade him. Whatever we can get. 

4. Trade Zack Britton. Give him a few outings to re-establish his sinker, then put him up for auction. Right now, we don't need a closer. There's nothing to close. If that changes, we have Jonathan Loaisiga. Whatever we can get. 

5. Use the rest of the season to decide on Clint Frazier and Miguel Andujar. We could trade either, but for what? Sidney Ponson's lost nephew? Devote the second half of 2021 to evaluating them, once and for all. Put Clint in CF and let Miggy play 3B, where their trade values are highest.

6. Consider any offer. I'd hate to see Aaron Judge go, but - well - you know what? I could live with it. Same with DJ LeMahieu. Even Gerrit Cole (whom we will surely destroy with more outings like the complete game in Houston.) I love these guys. But in the words of John Irving: When the dear disappear, someone else is always near.

This is a horror show, one of the most disappointing Yankee seasons, ever. It needs to lead to something better.  

Friday, July 16, 2021

6 ...And Counting....

 What games are the Yankees playing?

Either they are proving that the vaccines don't work against Covid, or they aren't telling the absolute truth about who is fully vaccinated and who isn't.

It is a great way to justify losing to the Bosox.

Six key players out, with the latest additions being judge and Urshela?  And our two best ( besides Cole ) pitchers of late?

And it is only happening to the Yankees?

Too bad there are no more independent, investigative journalists. 

We have to get our information from baldy Brian.

Whose lies appear as shiny spots.

Exciting news on Yankee trade front!

Wow! Our prayers may be answered! 

Brian Cashman might bundle up a few nobodies and trade for Cole Hamels, who gave us so much trouble in the 2009 World Series. Remember how tough he was? He could be a Yankee!

Criminy, he's only 37. I can't figure why the Phillies would trade him. But if we could, say, jettison a few prospects - our farm system has so many, we gotta get rid of some; they're like jackrabbits - he could shore up our rotation in the playoffs!

Looks like The Master better come up with some new HR calls.

Hoy Jun Park said to be on his way. 

"Hoy vay! Park goes park!"

He'll join Trey Amburgey.

"Trey swings away! Atta-way, Amburgey!" 

Can a completely disappointing season worsen? Yes, it can.

... And you may find yourself, living in a shotgun shack.
And you may find yourself, rooting for a bad Yankee team...

Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

(Strike forehead with heel of hand. Repeat.)

So, last night, the Death Barge was going to occupy the national spotlight. Yeah, the barkers would talk up Boston, but the Redsock season isn't on the line. In fact, they're so fat and happy that they planned to showcase a 22-year-old CF trade chip, perhaps to pry Anthony Rizzo from the Cubs. Chris Sale will soon return. Their farm system is overflowing. They lead us by 8 games. I mean, what drama would they bring?

Nor is this new. I mean, they haven't won in - gulp - four years! Four. Their owner wasn't happy with a third place finish, so he fired the GM and brought in the guy who built the Tampa Rays. And now they are ripping at every level. And, meanwhile, the Yankees... well... it's the new normal.

Yanks going nowhere. Boston chasing another ring. 

Letting the days go by. Water flowing underground.

Damn. Thursday was going to be our night. Season on the brink. Gerrit Cole on the mound. An electric crowd. The whole world watching.  

Then, Covid. 

We'll soon know the full extent of the outbreak. We'll learn if the Yankees must go 10 days without Aaron Judge, Kyle Higashioka, Gio Urshela and maybe the entire roster of The Bachelor. In another time, we could anticipate the future legends of Trey Amburgey and Ryan Lamare. But this is the new normalcy: We have a LF out with vertigo, a starter known for his setbacks, a closer facing an identity crisis - and now six players masked in basements.

WTF happened to our beautiful lives?

Well, you chose the Yankees. You fucked up. You thought they'd be your sure thing. You thought that, considering all the failures in this world, all the shit you'd have to eat, you'd at least have one certain rock of victory: the mighty Yankees, who always win. Yep. You fucked up.

And you may ask yourself, "What is that beautiful house?"
And you may ask yourself, "Where does that highway go to?"
And you may ask yourself, "Am I right, am I wrong?"
And y
ou may say to yourself, "MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Game called due to Covid

 No game tonight. Yanks test positive. (Are we sure they're all vaccinated?)

Trey Amburgey still waits.

Lucky 7 Anyone?

Boston has won 6 in a row from the Yankees this season.

Tonight is game 7.

I'm taking the " over."

Anyone else in ?

Trey Amburgey reportedly on his way to the Bronx


He's a performance promotion. Rather than wowing scouts, all he's done was hit at every level. 

Now the question: Will Boone play him?

There is little to say about the Yankees, other than it's gotten late quite early

Tonight, the Yankees host Boston with the season on the line.

They'll play the Redsocks again tomorrow night, season also on the line.

They'll take on Boston Saturday and Sunday nights, do or die.

It's that simple. Frankly, there is nothing else to say. I suppose you could argue that it's still July, and there's still time to win 20 straight and win the wild card - the usual the fallback blather. Don't buy into it. This is not July. It is September. This weekend will decide the fate of the 2021 Yankees. 

The Death Barge currently sits seven games behind Boston in the loss column, six behind Tampa, and one behind Toronto. Without an immediate surge, the AL East looks basically unwinnable.  

In the race for the second wild card birth, the Yankees are three losses behind Oakland, one loss behind both Toronto and Cleveland, and tied with Seattle. The trouble here is not the loss column, but the number of ascending teams we must leapfrog to get there. 

This weekend brings five scenarios: 

If we sweep Boston, we gain ground on the wild card and vault back into the division race. 

If we win three, we declare a moral victory (channeling Rudy Giuliani), kick the Redsocks in the nuts, and get another shot next week in Fenway.

If we split - 2-2 - frankly, this could be a worst-case scenario. It provides no insight into how the Yankees should view the Aug. 1 trade deadline.

If we go 1-3, boos will rain from the stadium rafters, and Brian Cashman will need to do something, anything - such as jolt the roster with promotions from Scranton. The division race will disappear from view.

And if the Yankees are swept, holy shit, this season will be cooked on a skewer. Talk radio will explode, the tabs will want blood, and certain players will face relentless booing. This blog will declare thermonuclear war. Cashman will face enormous pressure to press reboot, admit that his plans have failed, that the Yankee talent curve crested in 2019 - and start the process of trading off whatever veterans that actual contenders might want. It could be the ugliest Yankee second-half since 2013, the year of Youk, Pronk and Vernon Wells. 

All that talk about it being only July? Don't you believe it. It's September, folks. The leaves are about to turn.