Tariff-Free Game Thread – Soriano back in the Bronx ( sorta/kinda )

 

 

For Giancarlo, the end is here, aside from the existential questions

Samuel Beckett must have been a Yank fan. Because here we are - once again, and for all of eternity - waiting for Godot Gio. And - spoiler alert: He's not coming. 

As we all know by now, Giancarlo Stanton this week tweaked his good leg, plunging himself back into the Yankee Limbo of the Lost, his hot tubbed home since April. The Yankees claim he might return in September. Ha ha. We know otherwise. 

He's toast. 

Next time we see him will be mid-February. He'll arrive in Tampa in a swirl of ink and ether. The Gammonites will assemble, and he'll toss out quotes like shelled peanuts to a murder of crows. He'll say he spent the winter working to improve his flexibility and prevent injuries. And for the 11th straight spring, they'll peck at the ground and chew. Meanwhile, we will ponder his existential questions.

1. Will Giancarlo return? 

Nope. Why drag this out? The Yankees will owe him only $15 million next year. That's clam dip money. (The Marlins will pay $10 million.) They can buy him out for 2028, and our long national Yankee nightmare will be over. 

2. Could he return elsewhere?

Maybe. He might even bat in a Grapefruit game, auditioning for the Angels, Marlins, Padres or any team that might take him in a city where he wants to play. He's earned that shot. But the Yankees do not - and will not - need a fulltime DH who is always one step away from the glue factory. They will have no place for him. (I assume he wouldn't go for the Mets or Boston, but sometimes, when longtime stars hit their twilight, things do get acrimonious.) 

3. Does Giancarlo belong in the Hall? 

Nah. I'm sorry. He comes close, sorta. But he needed one last big year - he's 44 HRs shy of 500, just 17 RBIs below 1,200. Baseball Reference publishes several graphics on chances for Cooperstown. On all of them, as you can see, Giancarlo falls short.

Moreover, his time in NYC produced nothing that matters. (Translation: No ring.) And though he had a couple nice playoff games, his .254 postseason BA doesn't leap out. 

Maybe 20 years from now, a doddering Veterans Committee votes him in. But we won't live to see it, and unless he gets heathy, Giancarlo might not, as well.  

4. Did the Yankees win the trade to bring him to NY? 

Yes. Definitely. We gave up Starlin Castro, Jorge Guzman and Jose Devers. None turned out to matter. So, yeah. We won. Whoopie.  (But all that money we spent? It tied us up for a decade. Imagine the free agents we missed.)

4. Was he a great Yankee? 

Yeah, I guesso, sorta, anways... He should get something - a plaque or maybe a vending machine - in Monument Park. They should give him a final Bobblehead Night and present him with a fully-charged grampa scooter. He can fly around the bases.

He deserves a shot on the YES team. Could he be a batting coach? They say he commands respect in the clubhouse. There might be a role for him to play, and I hope the Yankees treat him with dignity. (Unless he joins the Mets. In that case, open the Epstein files.)

Sad day, overall. But honestly, he's done, and it feels as if a big stone has been lifted. I wish him the best. He'll never swing a bat for us in a real game again. Samuel Beckett saw the future. We were always just living it out. The Giancarlo show is over. Somebody, buy me a drink.

I still say we're better with him than without him

Last year, Stanton--the man who puts the "I" in IL--played in 77 games. He hit 24 dingers with an OPS of .944.

His constant getting-over-PEDs type of injuries are annoying as hell. Basically because we could really, really, REALLY use somebody who can rack up an OPS of .944 and, on average, hit homers in a third of the games he's in. 

At the moment, as I think you've probably noticed, we can't hit and have trouble scoring runs. And to me, not scoring runs is a much bigger problem than a guy who can't run.

So I continue to say that we're better off when Stanton plays than when he doesn't. Sadly, he doesn't play very much. Of course, that's even more true of Judge. It's even true of Bellinger, if the only alternative we have is Helium. What a waste of space.

Speaking of Cody, he had the quote of the day yesterday after playing left field for six innings with Scranton.

"That was good to get those in there to feel good."

As Steve Martin once said, some people have a way with words, and some people..not have way, I guess.

The Game Shred - Weather'n the BJs - 08/22/2∂ - Bronx, NY

 

STOP THE PRESSES!

 

CALAMITY! CATASTROPHE! TROUBLE AND STRIFE!

The Ever-Injured Man is...INJURED AGAIN!

Giancarlo falls while running to rehab his injured whateveritwas. And is injured. And maybe out for the season.

Oh, the HUMIDITY! Or something like that.

Mickey Mantle, in 18 years of playing with a bone disease and an improperly repaired ACL, missed a total of 255 regular-season games. 

Giancarlo Stanton, in 9 seasons of juicing, has missed something like two or three times that many with your New York Yankees.

And...this is good news. Clears up a roster spot, AND means we don't have to listen to people talk about what a great clutch player he is anymore.

Yanks are hottest in AL East, and other brain bursts from the Saturday Leaderboards

Tampa is burning up. Gruesome, unbearable heat. Clocks melting, and not in a Salvidor Dali way. Nobody goes to ball games. (Wednesday, hosting the Blue Jays, a mere 13,000 showed up.) 

Meanwhile, the Rays are sniffing the exits. (Friday, the city signed a hostage deal to keep them in Tampa, for now. It requires the sacrifice of every family's first-born.) Worst of all - for Tampoans, anyway - the Yankees keep creeping closer, now one measly weekend series behind. 

Meanwhile, every Yank win pushes Toronto into a death spiral. Vlad Jr. - "I'd never be a Yankee/Wait, I'll join the Yankees/Check that: I'll never be a Yankee" - Guerrero will soon return. Who cares? He's hitting .263 with 7 HRs. Worst year of his career. And he'll never be a Yankee.

By this time next week, we're playing two against Boston. Biggest day of 2026. 

Meanwhile, in a shameful indictment of modern homer ball, only three qualifying American League players are batting over .300. Pathetic. 

Meanwhile, at least 10 hitters should belt more than 30 HRs

. 

The only offensive category that features multiple Yankees is Stolen Bases.

By the way, Cody Bellinger has 10. But I doubt he'll be running much, after he returns. (Spencer Jones - 7 SBs, not yet thrown out) has a better chance, unless he's in Scranton. 

Volpe homered again in Triple A. And Luis Durango - the Slapper, down at Somerset - went 2 for 3. I gotta go. Running off with my human printer.

BAD DEALS NEVER DIE ( Right, Aaron !?! ) º8/21/2∂

 

 

Tea glasses to Trebek: What we learned this week from David Cone

True confession: I love listening to David Cone, the Yankee prefect of pop culture. And nothing inspires Conean epiphanies like a three-game sweep in Baltimore. 

This week, by watching YES, we learned: 

1. As a pregame ritual while with the Mets, Coney watched Jeopardy every night. (It aired at 6 p.m.) It calmed his nerves.

2. Coney has no interest in appearing on the show - not even Sports Jeopardy - because he's no good at it. 

3. Coney once met Alex Trebek; he seemed a nice guy.

4. In a down moment, Coney asked if Michael Kay really uses his eyeglasses to stir coffee, an act of questionable hygiene that boothmate Joe Girardi recently unearthed. 

5. Kay's response was, yes, but it's tea, not coffee; he even showed the eyepiece.  

6. Coney did not comment further, though his facial expression seemed to show either bemusement or repressed horror. 

7. It's hard to imagine this being the end of Tea Gate.

8. Coney referred to dropping curveballs as "Tumbling Dice" and felt compelled to note the Rolling Stones song of that title. Kay, famously dense on the subject of classic rock, responded by joking that his oversized head - a subject of various memes - cannot store such data.

9.  Kay has been wooing broadcast partners with their favorite snacks. Last night, he surprised Coney with Peanut M&Ms. By the 8th inning, Coney had devoured them and flattened the bag. 

10. It's difficult for Kay to bring snacks for Meredith Marakovits, because she's into "health" foods. 

Damn. No space to discuss the game. I need a "human printer." 

But the picture has a mustache

Oh, man. Class A. I feel bad for the guy. And I'll always put the blame for the Freeman grand slam on Boone. Possibly his dumbest move in a decade of dumb moves.

What's really sad is that some fans will always remember that as the defining moment of his Yankees career. Me, I'll go with the sneakers that had a mustache.

I always thought he would never make another All-Star team, that it was a fluke. But I'd be happy to eat my words if he can make a big comeback.

Thanks to BITTY for the INSPIRATION for today's Game Thread!

MAKE MINE AN XL ! 

(OPTIONAL BACKSIDE)

 

 

Down in Somerset, the Yankees have a little guy who is running wild

His name is Luis Durango. Write it down, so you can refer to it when he's traded for an air fryer.

The Yankees stole him from Cleveland in the 2024 Rule 5 draft, the minors' version. After bouncing around single A last year, something clicked. This year, Durango has shot through three levels of the Yankee system, hitting a combined .338 with an OPS of .807.

That's not why this guy is so interesting.

Unlike other Yank farmhands, who live for the Three True Outcomes - HR, K, W - Durango models himself after Ichiro, Charlie Lau and Wee Willie Keeler, whisking the ball into spaces the defense cannot guard. He's a slap hitter, a banjo hitter, somebody who actually puts the ball into play. A reverse Joey Gallo. What a concept!

Here's a refreshing note: Durango has no HRs this year, not one. He has fanned only 30 times in 221 at-bats - (Spencer Jones has 61 in 146) - and he has stolen 43 bases.

Obviously, Durango...

a) Has a long way to go to prove himself in the majors.
b) Is still just a small sample size.
c) Is a tad old for Double A.
d) Will never play for the Yankees; some team that values base runners will take him off our hands.

Still, imagine: A Yankee hitter who doesn't swing out of his helmet. 

Pinch me. 

Happy 49 Day!

 

Yep, it's that time of year again. 

Every single major-league baseball team has now lost at least 49 games.

Why is this day different than all other days, you ask?

Because it means that no team can possibly break the all-time record set by the 1998 New York Yankees—the greatest team in baseball history—of 125, combined regular- and postseason wins.

No team can win more than 113 games, and therefore the maximum 11 postseason wins possible will only get them to 124 wins.

[Checks math]

Yes, that's correct.  

What's that you say? A team could theoretically win 112 or 113 games, still finish second in their incredible division, and then have to win 13 games to take a World Series?

Yes, that's theoretically possible. But as Bob Dole would say, you know and I know and the American people know that ain't happenin'. 

And besides, that would mean the "greatest team ever" is not a first-place team. Impossible!

The 1998 team it is. And yes, they really are the greatest ever.

First, take out every team before the color line was finally broken.  You can't be the greatest ever if everybody isn't allowed to play.

Next, consider the fact that the 1998 Yanks went 13-3 in inter-league play, including a 3-1 pasting of the Atlanta Braves, who had the best record in the NL. (And no, I'm still not over that blown call that cost the Yanks a sweep of the Mets, which would've put them at 14-2.) 

Add the four-game sweep of the Padres in the World Series, and they played 17-3, .850 ball against the Senior Circuit (really, 18-2, .900 ball).

Finally there's the fact that, while juicing was already widespread in baseball—this was the year of the McGuire-Sosa Race of the Chemically Abetted—there was no known juicer (at the time!) on the Yanks.

So...they played unjuiced against juiced and still won a record number of game.

Case closed. Enjoy 49 Day, a full 11 days before the end of August. Is that great or what?

 

Uh-oh. George Lombard Jr. is starting to conjure the J-word. Ten mental meanderings about the Yankees.

 1. It's happening... again.

The NYC media meat grinder is gearing up to portray George Lombard Jr. as the next Jeter. Damn. 

Nothing good can come of this. There is one result, one comparison, and it always leads to one conclusion: Disappointment. Lombard looks like a fine, young, developing SS; that's not nothing. But comparing him to Jeter is how the machine destroys upcoming Yankees. It crushed Volpe. It crushed The Martian. Now, it's honing the guns on Lombard. 

The guy is 44 ABs into an MLB career. Let him breathe.

2. Nasty Nestor "Ocasio" Cortes just signed with the Phillies. Bravo! Guy hasn't pitched all year, returning from an injury. He's only 31. Last we remember, he answered Boone's horrible, ridiculous, call in the 2024 World Series and gave up a game-winning HR to Freddie Freeman, his first pitch in 37 days. It wasn't his fault. Boone had no business sending him out there.

We ended up trading Nestor to Milwaukee for Devon Williams - for whom we crashed the iconic Yankee beard ban - along with Caleb Durbin, now Boston's sparkplug 3B. What a terrible deal. Thank you, Mr. Cashman. 

Bad deals never die.

3. Ryan McMahon - the ballplayer, not the Onondaga County (NY) Executive - jammed his thumb sliding into 2B last night. They say x-rays came back negative, but we're reached the point where any injury can knock out a player until next spring. McMahon has disappointed all year. The Yankees don't need another injury, but how hard can it be to replace a guy who's hitting .216? 

4. FYI: Down in Scranton, Oswaldo Cabrera is batting .290 and playing 3B. Come on, Yankees, the guy deserves another shot! 

5. In some respects, a Yankee sweep tonight might do Baltimore a favor. The dreadful state of the AL has allowed the O's - five games below .500 - to chase that final wild card slot. These last two nights, they sure don't look like a playoff team. Just sayin...

6. Sad to hear Baltimore screaming that MLB should install lasers on the foul lines, because they might have gotten screwed by Pete Alonzo's foul ball/HR last night.  Good luck with that. I'm sorry, but baseball doesn't need more technology.

7.  Last night for Scranton, Anthony Volpe went 0-4 with three Ks. He's hitting .222. Damn. I hope he can turn around his career, but he really needs to play for a different organization.

8. Also, The Martian, Jasson Dominguez, went 1-3 with a walk. He's hitting .275 for Scranton. It's been a completely lost year. But he's still only 23, two years younger than Spencer Jones.

9. Watching the struggles of Jackson Holliday and Roman Anthony, who is getting another run in Boston, it's remindful of the pressures of being the Number One prospect in baseball. (Or being compared to Jeter; see No. 1.)

10. We're four up on Boston in the loss column. Eleven up on Toronto. We better damn well beat the Jays this weekend. (And they might have Vlad Jr. back. Uh-oh.) 

•Game•Thread• •8•19•26• •WHAT• •WILL• •WILL• •DO• ?

 

In October, will the Yankees try an "Operation: Hail Aaron?"

According to the Yankees - whose pristine record of delivering the raw truth would rival that of Baghdad Bob, if he worked for Microsoft - Giancarlo Stanton has been spotted "running the bases and doing agility drills in the outfield." 

Altogether now: Hooray.

So, he's running the bases and doing cardio? 

Can he open a 24-ounce snack pack of Fritos? 

Could someone - anyone - kindly explain to me why we should anticipate the return of Giancarlo Stanton?

Before continuing, a caveat: 

Honestly, I don't seek to impugn Stanton, who is clearly injured. To my knowledge, nobody has ever spotted him break-dancing in clubs after midnight. He's just a huge, tightly-wound, electrified cadaver, who risks a barking binky with every swing of his Bababook and who - at the unmerciful age of 36 - has the health record of someone who just visited a Ruby Tuesday's salad bar full of diarrhea lettuce. 

Supposedly, he'll be back in early September. 

So, what then? 

Despite those agility drills, there is no way Stanton will play the OF. Ever. He's a DH, pure and simple, and any ground ball off his bat is a DP that your gramma could turn. Stanton will return a few days before Aaron Judge, who in a perfect world would be the DH. But to keep Stanton in the lineup, and pray for his good health, the Yankees will have to play Judge in RF. 

Considering that Cody Bellinger should return next week, will the Yankees shoot the moon? 

Could they run an "Operation: Hail Aaron?" That would put Judge in RF, Bellinger in LF, Grisham in CF, and Stanton as DH. First base would be Ben Rice, unless his batting struggles continue - in which case, gulp, would they try him at catcher? For months now, the idea has been that Rice is too valuable a hitter to subject to the rigors of catching. But that argument requires Rice to hit - something he hasn't done that since that awful Home Run Derby. (Note to self: The last two Yankees to take part in the HR massacre were Rice and Jazz Chisholm, and both have tanked ever since.) I'm not sure about his defense, but even a slumping Rice would bring more offense than Austin Wells. Would the Yankees try? 

The batting order for Operation: Hail Aaron: 

Grisham CF
Judge RF 
Bellinger LF
Stanton DH
Garcia 1B
Rice C
Lombard SS
Chisholm 2B
McMahon 3B

Yeah, it falls off at the bottom, especially if Chisholm remains a wipeout. But that's more reason to load big hitters at the top. Beginning this weekend, against Toronto, the Yankees must play every series like it's the postseason. And from now on, every injury is a season-ender. If that puts an end to Stanton's year, so be it. It's time to break glass, starting with Stanton's cyrstal hamstrings.

Game Dread – Come on Carlos – Show us whatcha got

You Win With Winners

 “We play today. We win today. Das it.”

All pro athletes have talent, even the ones we make fun of, (Cough. Volpe. Cough.) that said, there are athletes that just know how to win. Players that use their will and determination to find an extra gear when it’s all on the line.

Jeter. Brunson. Manning.

NOTE: I wanted to add a New York Jet to this list but the best I could do was Joe Namath. I was thinking about using Marc Sanchez (Two AFC Championship appearances) but he couldn’t even win a bar fight against a sixty-nine year-old. So no…

But I digress…

When the NY Giants (of beloved memory) hired John Harbaugh to be their Head Coach and de facto undisputed leader of the entire organization, the Giants finally did something to change not just the personnel but the culture of the team. 

They brought in a guy who on the Lombardi Scale of “Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” is around an eight out of ten.

He has high expectations, he drills the crap out of fundamentals, and broaches no bullshit. 

They may not make the playoffs this year, talent matters too, but they will give 100% and they will care. They are learning how to win and they will get there.

He has high expectations, he drills the crap out of fundamentals, and broaches no bullshit.

Winning starts at the top.  

--

The Knicks (in five!!!!) turned the franchise around by adding winners. The Nova Knicks. Two NCAA Championships. OG Anunoby, a ring with Toronto, Mike Brown (Three  Championships with the Warriors.)  

Guys who know what it takes and how to win. 

Interesting side note: I saw a YouTube short about Brunson vs. Wembanyama. Apparently Brunson has never lost a “championship” elimination game. HS State Championship. NCAA x 2, NBA. Wembanyama lost every single one he’s been in.

The Yankee roster has only one player who has won a World Series (Cole) and is riddled with guys acquired from the worst franchises in baseball. Guys for whom losing has always been a way of life. 

This doesn’t mean that they don’t have talent. It just means that they come from places where losing is easier to accept.

On the current Yankee 26-man Roster

Bednar – Pirates

Blackburn – A’s

Cruz -  Reds

De Los Santos – Pirates

Headrick – Twins

Weathers – Marlins

--

Ali Sanchez  - Marlins

Jazz – Marlins

Garcia Jr. – Nationals

McMahon – Rockies

Ramos – Giants (bad while he was there)

That’s eleven players out of twenty-six who come from losing cultures.

Add the Yankees who came up under Aaron Boone and it becomes easy to see why the team has lengthy slumps and gets bounced so easily from the playoffs.  

--

Aaron Boone is not a winner.  

Let’s compare and contrast a few quotes shall we?

“Look, I think everyone that goes in the playoffs, there's pressure in these games. There's a lot on the line, there's a lot to play for, you want to do well” - Aaron Boone

NOTE: “Do well” is not win.  “Do well” is not embarrass yourself.  Be happy with your effort. Have some success. Some.

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser. — Vince Lombardi
--

“I think a great culture can look a lot of different ways. Sometimes it's guys that get along great and it's a good, solid, healthy work environment.” Aaron Boone

“Hopefully, one of my gifts will be that I'll be able to, you know, say something that's I guess considered critical without being a jerk.” Aaron Boone

“The only thing I believe is this: A player does not have to like a manager and he does not have to respect a manager. All he has to do is obey the rules.”— Sparky Anderson

--

“Hopefully I'm part of creating an environment that a player feels like he can come in and be himself.”  Aaron Boone

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination.
- Tommy Lasorda

--

They need a culture change.

Lombard Jr. and Schlittler have what it takes so maybe it’s a start. Hopefully it doesn't get sapped out of them. I don't think it will. You can see it in their eyes. 

They need support. 

The Yankees need to do more. Much more. They need a manager who HATES hates to lose. Who sets the tone. 

They need a GM who doesn’t just look at data but looks for players who hate to lose.  A few years ago Bryce Harper wanted to be our Paul O’Neil. Cashman never made him an offer.     

No more talk about “good swings” and “getting there”  and “It’s all in front of us.”

Because as Vince Lombardi put it…

“Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all the time thing. You don't win once in a while... you don't do things right once in a while... you do them right all the time. Winning is habit." 

"If you can accept losing, you can't win.”

This team accepts losing.

We don't.

Are the Yankees cursed by the AL's blanket mediocrity?

Since late May, when the extent of the American League's sickly "pennant race" became clear, the Yankees have been groping toward a postseason that was all but guaranteed. 

Even now, plodding through the dog days of August, they still possess the AL's 2nd best record, and no matter how badly they disappoint, it's hard to imagine them falling from a wild card race that resembles a Tee-Ball participation trophy. 

If they face one problem, it's that sub-.500 teams like Baltimore - with whom they open a three-game set tonight - remain in contention. In a normal time, the O's - three games underwater, and having traded their cornerstone catcher - would be texting hotties in the stands. Instead, they're tied for the final wild card slot. 

Thanks to the AL's mediocrity, the Yankees yesterday could put Max Fried on the 15-day injured list, a move similar to what the Dodgers do each year, parking players in bubble wrap with the hope of having them for October. One thing about injured players: They can't get hurt. (Note: This discounts Giancarlo, who can tweak a gonad while blowing his nose.)  

You probably expected me to piss and moan Fried's bone bruise. Sorry to disappoint. No injuries rattle me anymore. Between now and October, we'll see some humdingers. Fried will merely miss five or six starts, mitigated by the return of Carlos Rodon and the fact that he was only pitching five innings, which made Fried's games feel like glorified bullpen starts. It's the long-term we should mourn. Fried is in the second season of an eight-year contract that should have been signed by Carl Pavano. For the next years, whenever a free agent hits the market, Food Stamps Hal will grab his fanny pack and hide. 

For two months now, the Yankees have treaded water. Giancarlo Stanton is a punch line. The Yankees can point to Kyle Tucker's miserable season in LA, but the OF they preferred, Cody Bellinger, hasn't done much. In Toronto, the Yankees faced ascending players in a young lineup, while our rising stars have struggled. 

Anthony Volpe was a swing and a miss. The Martian, thus far, is a swing and a miss. Spencer Jones looks increasingly like a swing and a miss. Ben Rice is barely hanging on, we keep squandering great starts by Cam Schlittler, and it's too soon to assess George Lombard Jr.'s bat. 

AL slop is the gift that keeps on giving. The Yankees can sit on the league's wild card shit pile and try to run out the clock. But everybody knows it, everybody feels it: This team sure doesn't look like a future champion. 

Fried is fried.

 Placed on 15-day Injured List with a bruise on his elbow. 

We need a savior.

It's time for the Yankees to accept the reality about Jazz Chisholm.

Somewhere around East 161st Street, Mamdani should erect a giant bronze plaque that says:

WELCOME TO THE BRONX

BIRTHPLACE OF HIP-HOP

RESTING PLACE OF JAZZ

Of course, I refer to Chisholm, the saddest jazz in modern culture. 

Jazz Chisholm's plummeting career

In 2026 - a year of wars, heat domes and A.I. slop - we have witnessed the decline and fizzle of one Jazz Chisholm, morphing from MVP candidate to human pop-up machine, and the last Yankee you want to see with a game on the line. 

With his nearly every appearance, the YES happy talk machinery suggests that THIS could be the AB that saves Jazz's season and ends our ongoing national nightmare. Then he hits a pop fly. 

Moral: Never tell an open mic you plan to hit 50 HRs next year. 

So now, in these doggiest of August dog days, it's time for the Death Barge to finally accept a stark Jazzy reality: 

Jose Caballero should play 2B, not just against lefty starters, but every single fukking day. Not because he's an all-star. But because he grinds.

Cabby is Chaos, a walking stick of dynamite. He annoys pitchers, catchers, managers, umpires, juju gods, beer vendors and basically everybody being paid to attend the game. If he gets on base, he's gonna run, though he gets thrown out one-in-four times. And nearly every Yank rally - what few we see any more - there's Caballero, in the middle of the scrum, doing something that pissed off the opposition. 

Yesterday, his 8th inning single scored the go-ahead run and left him caught in no-man's land, between first and second. If Chisholm had not stopped momentarily at third, Cabby's run-down heroics would have produced a tack-on run that won the game in nine innings. 

Cabby's having a moment.

Turns out, the Yankees won anyway. 

But time has run out for Chisholm. He's mired in a deep, dark and dreadful drought. At 28, and facing a new contract, this should have been his career year. Instead, he has one foot out the door, and the December ownership lock-out cannot come fast enough. Maybe next year he'll go 50-50. This year, he should be watching and waiting for maybe one last chance, with no guarantee it will ever come. Yankee dreams die hard. This one is over.  

Game DREAD - ø8/ø∂/2∂ – Aaron Boone is the best manager on Earth *

 

Can they do it???

I'm not talking about "following the Knicks" anymore and winning it all. That's not possible, even with the best starting rotation in baseball...something I never thought I would write about any Yankees team.

I'm not talking about winning the division—also impossible—or even making the playoffs anymore (Highly unlikely, and what would be the point?)  

This is not only the dullest Yankees team I have ever seen, but also the most shamefully sloppy, uninterested, and unlikable—a hard combination to pull off.

No, I'm wondering if the 2026 Yankees can manage to break the club record for the lowest batting average in its history. 

Impossible, you say? 

Think again, my fine-feathered friends. Sure, the 1968 Yankees did set a record for the lowest team batting average since 1900, hitting just .214 in that "Year of the Pitcher." 

But but but...in the Year of the Pitcher, pitchers could still hit. The '68 Yanks' pitchers hit .090 in 450 plate appearances. Sure, that's a good number for Heliot "Charlie Hustle" Ramos (currently at .063), but well below what any potential DH at the time would've hit.

Take away the number 9 spot, and those 1968 Bombers hit .224. 

Could the 2026 Yanks, currently batting .230, challenge that mark? Or even go after the all-time, post-DH low of .216, achieved by the 2022 Oakland Athletics? Will we see history in the making???

Well, let's compare:

C: After a month of relatively hot hitting, Austin Wells still trails Jake Gibbs by 33 points (more words I never thought I would write), .213-.180. Also...can Wells top Gibbs' mark of 29 RBI in 450 PA? Currently, Austin is at 17 RBI in 279 PA.

1B: The Mick, in his last year, battling an array of injuries, any one of which would have killed Giancarlo Stanton dead...and still among the league leaders in most categories, while playing 144 games at first in those pre-DH days. Will ANYONE on the 2026 Yanks play 144 games?  

Maybe—maybe Ben Rice, now at 118 games and .251. The Mick ended up at .237. Anyone care to bet Rice is not below that at the end of the year? But wait! We also have the NL's slugging champ, Garcia, now with 1 HR and 2 RBI in 41 PA. Sigh.

2B: Jazz: .214. Horace Clarke, the watchword for Yankees futility, in the worst season of his life....230. Also, led the AL in putouts and assists at second. Mr. "The Ball Is Stuck in My Glove"? Leads AL second sackers in errors, with 8. 

Jazz also has 140 strikeouts. Hoss had 46 that year. Of course, with non-pitchers, the 1968 team had a total of 783 strikeouts; with pitchers, that number was 958. 

The 2026 team? 1123 whiffs, with a quarter of the season still to go.

SS: 1968: Tom Tresh, on his last legs, hitting .195. The whole gaggle of Yankees shortstops in 2026 tops this...though if you gave me a choice between the physically ruined Tresh and Mr. Volpe...

3B: 1968: Bobby Cox, in his one and only full season as a player, hitting .229, with 41 RBI. Ryan McMahon, 2026: .217, with 31 RBI to date. And...now beginning to make disastrous, game-losing plays in the field!

OF: 1968: Roy White, the team's best hitter by average, at .267; Joe Pepitone (.245); Andy Kosco (.240), Bill Robinson (.240. 2026: Cody Bellinger, the team's best hitter by average, at .259; Trent Grisham (.223), and the cast of thousands: Spence and The Martian, Stanton, assorted infielders, The Heliot, and Aaron Judge—still with the third most plate appearances for any Yankees outfielder, still tied for second on the club in home runs, with 17, in his 59 games.

I dunno. This is going to be one hell of a competition.

Oh, also? That 1968 team won 83 games and finished in the first division of a ten-team league. 

I wonder if the 2026 Yankees can finish in the top seven of this year's pathetic AL.

 

 

Will private equity ruin the Yankees? A thumb-sucker from NY mag

 Are we doomed?

Baseball Needs a "Return Policy"

If, anytime within 30 days, a player a team traded for does not perform as advertised, the team should be able to void the trade and get their players back.  

I'm looking at you San Francisco. We should be able to return Ramos.  I don't want hear this "No backsies." crap.  

Is Boone desperate enough to do something right?

Is Cashman desperate enough to let him?

Bench fucking Helios, or just give him his release. What a dumb trade, in a series of incredibly dumb trades. Bring back the Martian. At worst, it's a wash, and we don't have to see Helios' shitty beard anymore.

Let Rice play first. Garcia can DH until Judge or Stanton or both come back, then bench the guy. I'm tired of seeing his shitty beard, too. It turns out, he can't hit here. He hit pretty well somewhere else, but somewhere else is not here. Putting Rice back on the field might help him snap out of his incredibly bad funk, too.

Boone says he wants to "shake up" the lineup. Great. Put Jones in center, put Jazz in the toilet, put Grisham in right and bat him ninth. Cantrun II also can't hit.

Luis Gil has started pitching again, in High A. He might be a useful bullpen lugnut in a couple/few weeks. (Hard to believe he was Rookie of the Year just two years ago.) 

Give Tim Hill a fucking rest already. The guy's arm is falling off and you can see it in real time. Boone is an idiot. Matchups, my ass. Just use someone who can do the job and isn't running on fumes.

And let's get rid of the shitty beards all the way around.  Devin Williams is gone. Pee Wee was right.

"A boy has more self-respect when he's clean shaved."

Aaron Judge is throwing. Yank fans are throwing up. It's time to sound the alarm.

It won't be long, they say. 

In a week, maybe two, the Captain will start swinging a bat. From there, who knows? Live practice? A rehab in Scranton? The return of the cavalry... 

Let's say Food Stamps Hal, seeking to optimize his (and Apollo Global Management's) investment, bring Judge back on Sept. 11 - (the tabs will crap pinecones) - to start a three-game set against the Mets. 

That's 24 games from now. 

Twenty four. Too many. They won't make it, at least, not still in 2nd place. 

The Yankees are playing .500 ball, despite the strongest rotation they've seen all year. 

The starters cannot last another 24 games. You can't keep running pitchers out there, knowing if they give up two runs, the game is over. 

Something's gonna blow. 

The rotation cannot hold.  

They say Cody Bellinger is a week, maybe 10 days away. (Would he miss his Bobblehead Night, Aug. 21?) But are we talking about the Cody Bellinger who is batting .259 with lollipop power? And which Giancarlo Stanton will return - (assuming he ever does?) Will it be the Giancarlo whose swings defy the laws of physics, or the old guy, pushing 37, who can't run or open a bag of Fritos?

This is it. Hell Week. The dog days. Our worst stretch of 2026. Nobody is hitting. We botch plays in the field. And we're squandering great starts. Two weeks ago, the Blue Jays looked like a garage sale. Yesterday, we made them look like contenders. Today, they're going to sweep us. Does anybody on this team have a spark?

It's time to break glass. Sound the alarm. This is a full-blown emergency.

 

The State of the Yankees