The state of the Yankees is all about Will Warren being Will Warren.

Come back, O' meaningfulness of spring...

We long for box scores that tell us what the hell happened and, maybe, what the hell is coming...

What we see is the form-fitting black box known as Will Warren.

Yesterday, he pitched into the third, gave up a run, fanned four. By most respects, a typical Will Warren impersonation of Will Warren, reading from the book of Will Warren - (abridged, of course) - with an introduction by Will Warren.

Not bad. Not great. Vintage Will Warren. 

Here's what happened...

First Inning: Strikeout. Triple. Single (run scores.) Line out. Strikeout.

Second inning: Single. Infield hit. Fly out. Strikeout. Fly out.

Third Inning: Fly out. Strikeout.  

And Boone brings the hook.

Overall, a descent Will Warren outing. In fact, if you're following Will Warren, you gotta at least give the guy the second meaningless batter of the first meaningless inning of the first meaningless exhibition game of 2026. 

If Will Warren can be the Yankees' fifth starter, devouring the innings that a fifth starter needs to consume, he could reduce the pressure on Luis Gil and Cam Schlittler, who is already missing time. He won't become an ace. He won't become a liability. 

And that, comrades, is what Will Warren does.

Last year, he threw 162 innings, went 9-8 with an ERA of 4.44. Meh, you say.

He's 26, which is young for anybody from Branson, Missouri. 

Among starters, Warren is an old-school outlier. He pitched four years in college. (Most hot prospects jump after their junior years, when they have more contractual leverage.) Then he pitched three seasons in the Yankee minor leagues, level by level, slog by slog, slowly making his way to NYC. 

If he can improve in 2026 - that is, if Will Warren can be Will Warren - the Yankee rotation can survive until Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rondon and that 6'7" rookie who throws 103 mph can come around. 

We talk about the rookies and the role players. Will Warren is entering his arbitration year. He needs to be Will Warren. 

The Yankees have changed in subtle ways. It's still unclear whether the changes are for the better

And so it goes...  

The Yankees, still tiptoeing through feces in the George M. Steinbrenner Wastewater Treatment Facility, are awaiting answers from a winter of being frozen into place.

None will come soon. The wisdom behind standing pat - of bringing back last year's team, warts and all - won't be discerned for at least three months. 

But there are subtle changes within the matrix.

Spencer Jones homered in his first game, boosting hopes throughout the Yankiverse. Since then, he has failed to put a ball into play. Four strikeouts. One walk. 

He's unveiled a new toe-tap swing, developed over the winter and modeled after Ohtani. It's too soon to gauge success or failure. And it's worth remembering that last year, right around now, Jones trotted out another remodeled swing, and we were drooling with hope. 

We should not count out Jones. For starters, he shows the existential self-awareness to try and change. That he's trying new stances means that he knows the problem - he goddam strikes out too much - and he's adjusting. This is his life. Unless he changes, the Ks will kill his career. Lou Pinella used to say baseball was all about adjustments - pitchers, to the batters, and vice-versa. Well, Jones is trying. It can't happen in a week. Let's give him space. And let's keep him.

Jasson Dominguez is 2 for 5 with three strikeouts and a walk. Not bad. What's troubling, though, is the sense that he still looks naked and afraid in LF. 

Why is that? He's had a whole winter to shag fly balls. All he needed was somebody to hit fungoes, maybe 100 a day? and he should be approaching decency in the outfield. If he's still a defensive liability, the Yankees have the right to wonder. WTF?

It's clear now that, unless somebody gets injured, Dominguez will start the season at Scranton. That's because he cannot be trusted in the outfield. 

What an indictment of the Yankee farm system. And maybe of The Martian himself.

Ben Rice might yet be the Yankee hope. He is 2-for-3, and - as far as I can tell - he has not changed his stance or sit on the couch all winter. Already, he looks much more comfortable at 1B. 

Whatever he did this winter, it seems to have worked.

And so it goes.

Searching for meaning in a meaningless universe

Yesterday, as snow obliterated the homeland, the stand-pat Death Barge succumbed to the newly transmogrified Mets. 

Meaningless.

Ten gossamer thoughts:

1. The brain trust touted the works of Luis Gil and Cade Winquest, the Rule 5 pickup, but neither managed a scoreless outing against a lineup of farm show tool bits. The bar is low.

2. Nobody pitched lights out. Even Tim Hill gave up two hits, and Brendon Beck, punctuating the loss, was kicked around quite handily. 

3. Jose Caballero homered. Go figure. Last year, he slugged five. He turns 30 in August. SS is his for the taking. It's now or never.

4. Finishing at SS was 25-year-old Jonathan Ornelas, who kicked around last year between Texas and Atlanta. In a 32-game MLB career, he's hit .208. 

5. Neither Spencer Jones nor The Martian played. No prob. Game didn't matter. Still, we gotta see what they can do. To sit them is to punch their tickets to Scranton. 

6. OF Kenedy Corona, 25, is the early front runner for the James P. Dawson Best Rookie in Yankee Camp award, the most overlooked award in the history of sports. In his first game, Corona's diving catch quashed a rally. Yesterday, he homered. He could win a watch.

7. Mets played Benge, Bae, Suero, Arroyo, Reimer, Clifford, Schwartz... who are these people? 

8. In early January, John Sterling had a heart attack. It's been at least six weeks. Why was the world not notified? (And best wishes for a full recovery.)

9. Can't help but feel sorry for the Canadian hockey team. The U.S. has alternatives - Super Bowl, pro wrestling, game shows, Hollywood awards... Canada has hockey. 

10. Today, under two feet of snow, we are all Canadians.

No

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Yanks experience their biggest s**t show since Game 5 of the 2024 World Series. And it's the real stuff.

Ever stress out over what seem to be colossal concerns, only to have a new problem suddenly put everything into place?

Here's a tidbit from Yankee camp, via The Athletic/NY Times.

Yeahp. A sewer line backed up, sending Major League crapola - the real deal, not a metaphor - to roam the George M Steinbrenner baseball complex in Tampa. Suddenly, for at least one day, all our bullpen worries vanished into the brown. Reports The Athletic:

A Yankees player said the sewage had initially soaked only the bathroom, but later it had begun to reach other areas of the clubhouse, which is mostly carpeted. Players often leave belongings, such as footwear and equipment, on the carpet.

“It’s a mess in there,” he said.

Yeahp. It's carpeted. 

I leave you to your thoughts.

It's tempting to call it an omen, a sign of what's to come. But while players sought to rescue their iPads, a few Yanks enjoyed a different kind of blowout. 

In a (thankfully) outdoor game, the Yankees scored 20 runs. against Detroit.

Once again, Spencer Jones is off to a hot start. He homered yesterday, a 408-foot shot to right, while playing CF and going 1-for-3 with a strikeout (his bugaboo.) What if Jones goes on a tear, forcing himself into the lineup? For him to get playing time in April, it would require at least two outfielders to go down with injuries. (Even then, they'd probably play cheap and hold him in Scranton, out of contract considerations.) Still, all the guy can do is keep hitting. He was the most intriguing prospect in the Yankee farm system last year. A few more HRs, and he'll be the most intriguing one in camp.

Aaron Judge hit two HRs, and three minor leaguers added one-offs. The biggest name (after Jones) would be Roderick Arias, a big ticket, high-profile Latino signee five years ago, whose career has been a bust. He went 2-for-3 with 4 RBIs. For all his issues - basically, he's never hit - Arias is still only 21, too young to be discarded. If he were to suddenly bloom, like red tide near a sewer output, the Yankees would have a trade surplus at SS, and I think Cashman would be frantic to make a deal, while his good fortune lasts.  

FWIW: The Martian went 1 for 1 with a walk and two runs scored. Another guy whose immediate future hinges on the health of the outfield.

Too bad nothing mattered. But yesterday, the Yankees faced a different kind of matter: 

Fecal matter. 

You could sign a decent bullpen arm for that

 

RIP, Maz

 

He was all glove, no hit, and finally got into the Hall, anyway. But he did hit the seventh game, bottom of the ninth home run in the 1960 Series that made Mantle weep in front of his locker.

Mazeroski said that saving 1,000 runs with your glove was just as good as knocking in 1,000 runs at the plate. He may have had something there.

Though, being a Yankees fan, I think it would be great if you could do both. But that's probably asking too much.

From Elmer to the Coleman boys, the first nothingness is in the books

Now and then, on days like this, we should remind ourselves that a win in late February is just as important as a win in early March.

Which is to say that both are steaming dregs of meaninglessness, sold to sunbaked snowbirds as they brown-up their precancerous pigmentations, featuring names that shalt be whispered once in the Yankiverse and then never heard again.

Let's consider the half-dozen glitches in the Matrix who pitched for the Yankees, in game one of the Grapefruit season.

Elmer Cruz Rodriguez, also known as Elmer Rodriguez, is one of the buzz boys of camp. He's 22, 6'3", hails from our 51st state (Venezuela) and came to the Yankees in what has been, thus far, a hideously lopsided trade. Two years ago, Brian Cashman traded Cruz-Rodriguez, Rodriguez - Elmer - to Boston for Carlos Naevez, a fine young catcher. As a result, the Yankee front office has an existential reason to promote, uh, Elmer, and we must consider the desire for Cashman to have this guy succeed. 

Yesterday, Elmer succeeded, sorta. He threw three scoreless innings, though not without help from a broken bat DP grounder and a magnificent diving catch in the outfield by Kenedy Corona, a fellow Venezuelan who sounds like a beer, but who is, in fact, a 25-year-old, glove-first farm urchin. If Corona doesn't make that catch, Elmer's first appearance would look entirely different. But it still wouldn't matter.

Jake Bird, the 30-year-old bust from last July's trade deadline, who collapsed so gloriously that, after being demoted to Scranton, he still couldn't get anybody out. This is another pitcher that Cashman acquired, and thus the brain trust will make sure he gets ample opportunities. He threw a scoreless inning.

 Kervin Castro, 27, another Venezuelan - sensing a trend? - who pitched a one-two-three inning. Once upon a time, at age 15, Castro supposedly hit 88 mph on the radar gun, then signed with the Giants for more money than you'll make in five years. He missed two seasons with Tommy John. He's a longshot.

Bradely Hanner, 27, who gave up a 2-run HR to Pete Alonso, the only scoring in the game. Last year, he pitched 49 innings at Triple A, with an ERA of 4.74. A righty. 

Carson Coleman, 27, of Lexington, Kentucky, winner of the Zolio Almonte Award for the star of the first game of spring. He fanned three batters in one inning, stamping his ticket for at least another outing. He's a Yankee farmhand who missed all of 2023 due to Tommy John, and who was returned to the franchise after being selected by the Rangers in the 2024 Rule 5 draft. You can't do much better than striking out the side. Interesting.

Dylan Coleman, 29, a 6'5" cog who threw a scoreless inning but gave up a hit, against the No-Names of Nobodyville. He's bounced around for 10 years. Hey, you never know.

Meaningless to us. But not to the pitchers and their scrapbook-keeping moms. O, the vagaries of February!

And so it begins, the 2026 exhibition season...

Get ready, everybody. 

The year's most meaningless game,  - a fraudulent pageant of nothingness, and a showcase to Greg Bird, Zolio Almonte, Jackson Melian and countless others - happens today in the toxic MAGA swamps of Sarasota.

The spring training opener. 

Aaron Judge won't make it. You don't compel a 6'7" giant to ride on a bus for 90 minutes. Same with Giancarlo, Oswaldo, and others. Among the pitchers to go are Elmer Rodriguez and Carlos Lagrange, the Hollywood "It" Girls of camp thus far. Whatever they do will be celebrated or mourned, and none of it will matter a single, solitary whit.

Here's what happened last year. The Yankees beat Tampa, 4-0, with Marcus Stroman getting the "win." (Fun fact: 

The Markster recorded three other wins in 2025.)

So, why bother? Honestly, I have no choice. It's molecular. Baseball is Pavlov. I am his poodle. We bark and bluster all winter. We condemn Prince Hal. We blast Cashman and his groveling gum-chewer, the Bane of Boone. We vow to quit. There are birds to watch, stamps to collect, TV news shows... Then comes the pop of a mitt, the crack of a bat, the sight of a millionaire pitcher jogging the outfield, and we follow the scent like a glue-sniffing frat hobo.

Tomorrow will bring us a box score. 

No redactions.

Here we go.

Spencer Jones looks "uncomfortable." Considering his looming disappearance, he should.

Yesterday, in BP, before a gaggle of Gammonites, Yankee OF Spencer Jones looked "uncomfortable." 

What does that mean? 

Let's go to the videotape thesaurus... 

Uncomfortable: "Ill at ease..." disquieting... self-conscious... awkward... queasy... bloated... gassy... irregular..." 

Basically, Jones swung at a few and missed, amplifying a narrative that has shaded his career: He strikes out too much. MLB pitchers will exploit his huge strike zone - itself, the size of a housing project - and the Yanks should deal him for whatever they can get, probably a handful of magic beans, especially when he resembles somebody in a probiotic supplement commercial.  

Okay, let's do some old-school blaspheme. Everybody knows it's wrong to compare anybody with the great Aaron Judge. Still, Jones - at a Judgian 6'6" and 240 - conjures just such nonsense. The pair's leviathan-like presences would have conjured a gleam in the late P.T. Barnum's eyes. And both struggled in their early years. 

Last year, at age 24, in Scranton, Jones hit 19 HRs, batted .274 and fanned 109 times.

In 2016, at age 24, in Scranton, Judge hit 19 HRs, batted .270 and fanned 98 times.

Uncanny, right? Both are highly touted first-round picks. But 10 years ago, nobody foresaw Judge becoming the greatest slugger of his generation, the man who would chase down Roger Maris. There were doubters, who thought his huge strike zone would be exploited.  

We know what will probably happen soon. Unless the overcrowded outfield suffers multiple injuries - (not an impossibility) - Jones will be sent to Scranton or traded for pitching.  

If I were a small market GM - (hello, Milwaukee, I'm ready!) - I'd keep Brian Cashman on speed-dial. And whenever one of our 30-something, grungy bullpen vets throws a particular nasty session, I'd call the Yankees, show the videotape, and offer the guy for Spencer Jones. 

I'm doing you a favor, I'd tell Cash. This guy, Jones, he strikes out way too much. He looks - well - uncomfortable. Here, have another prune Danish... 

Stanton's name could pop up in the Epstein files. As Camp Tamp opens, the top 10 crazy things you didn't know about Giancarlo.

Breaking Broken News: This week, Giancarlo Stanton reported to Yankee camp without tennis elbows, piano wire hammies and/or the heartbreak of psoriasis. For now, his "2026 Lost Time Due to Injury" total stands at zero. Zero!

What this means: Sometime, around May 30, a carbunkle will pop, a cog will go into reverse, and Giancarlo will have his annual season-ending MRI.

So goes the Yankee mating dance between hope and truth. The hope is that Stanton can play 100 games and hit in October. The truth is that, at any moment, he is a walking, chain reaction pile-up on the New York State Thruway. 

Yesterday, Stanton took BP, whacked a couple balls into the Gulf, and declined oxygen. That's huge. Guy is 36, slow as a city bus, and the most breakable Yank since Mickey. He stands beside Don Mattingly as the Yankee most likely to never ride down the Canyon of Heroes.  

So, this is it. If the 2027 season is to be canceled due to labor strife, that makes 2026 his Ring Year... or bust. 

On that note, here are 10 things I bet you didn't know about Giancarlo, starting with the clickbait headline.

1. He is represented by the Wasserman agency, which recently caught its fingers in the Jeffrey Epstein cookie jar. The founder, Casey Wasserman, is abruptly retiring, after his name popped up. Marilyn Monroe is in there. So is Elvis. It's a wide swath. Is anybody searching for "Giancarlo?"

2. Baseball Reference lists as his nicknames as "Bigfoot" and "Cruz." I have never, ever, heard him referred to as either.

3. In 2026, he is projected to hit 23 HRs, drive in 62 runs and bat .231. In other words, we'd be better off with Ben Rice.

4. This year, his career will officially tilt towards NY. Until now, he has eight seasons with the Marlins, eight with the Yankees.

5. With Florida, he hit 267 HRs and batted .268. With the Yankees, 186 and .244. Night and day.

6. His last triple came in 2018. For him to reach third on a batted ball, two outfielders need to be carted off in an ambulance.

7. In his career, he will be hard-pressed to reach the gold standard of 500 HRs. He sits at 453, which means he needs two more seasons. If next year gets canceled, he's done. 

8. In eight years with the Yankees, he has stolen six bases. (Thrown out only once!)

9. Hall of Fame? Well, his statistical astral twins include four:

10. Contractually, the Yankees have him this year and next, at $25 million per season, with $10 million each year to be paid by the Marlins. They actually have him through 2028, but there is a $10 million buyout option that they will surely invoke.

Ha! Gotcha with the Epstein reference, right?