NEWSFLASH: THIS JUST IN – HAL LOVES CASH !

 

He also thinks lots and lots of money is kinda nice too!

Yank fans don't need to visit Eastern Island to encounter a silent monolith: Hal Steinbrenner is hiding in plain sight.

The other day, NJ.com scribe Bob Klapisch - formerly of the Post, Times and Daily News, the trifecta of Gotham sports - chanced upon Hal Steinbrenner outside one of the secret wormholes to Hell that spackle the Yankee internment camp known as George M. Steinbrenner Field. 

Smelling a hot scoop, the veteran Gammonite asked Hal for a quickie - one minute's worth of gobble. He'd get the owner's views on the outfield, the bullpen, maybe Leonardo's chance in the Oscars. Whatever Hal said, it'd be copy. Content. Newsprint. Ink. It would chew up 20 inches and spare Klapisch from having to squeeze quotes out of some terrified Somerset-bound prospect.

Well, it didn't happen. Hal backed away, blubbering some excuse, as two elevator doors conveniently closed. 

For the record, two things: 

1. If the 68-year-old Klapisch approached me on the street, asking for a minute of my time, I'd hand him a dollar and sprint for the bus. The guy's a throwback. He doesn't look like the scruddilly, Gen-Z, human glory holes who have infested Camp Tamp. He might even use a cassette recorder. I mean, the guy speaks Portuguese. Who the fuck speaks Portuguese? 

2. If Hal had granted an interview, his words would fly 30,000 feet above anything meaningful. He'd deliver the rah-rah drivel for which Yankee front office humanoids are known. I think Hal is tired of sitting atop the shit pile, weary of the role he has been relegated to play. Every day, he's reminded that the Dodgers are what the Yankees were, and that, for all his family's billions, several owners have far more to spend, and they actually enjoy doing so.  

 What to say? Our top hitters will play in Scranton.

Listen: It could be that Hal is merely waiting for the World Baseball Classic to conclude, before he calls a news conference and says nothing. 

Or maybe there is something here. 

Really, now, how do you say no to the last standing Gammonite, a real deal, tethered to a past that you should be embracing, when he asks for one minute of your fucking precious time?

Maybe Hal has finally achieved separation. He's free to not care. He sets the Yankee budget and then goes shell-hunting, after watching Kelly and Mark. No more concerns about Volpe, no complaining about the rent, no more pretending that all is going according to plan. America is at war, and the Yankees - once a touchstone for success - are now a slightly glamorized version of the KC Royals. 

For the record, I hereby applaud Hal's silence. I hope it continues. Honestly, what can be said about the 2026 Yankees, aside from that they look like the 2025 version. Maybe it will work. The other plans didn't. Hal just sits atop that shit pile, and it's not easy to balance. 

What's to be said about this team? Nothing, really. Except soon, we shall see. 

Quarter Finals Game Day Thread: USA vs. Canada

 

It is very rare in sports that a team gets a second chance to redeem themselves after losing big due to hubris. Tonight the US team gets that chance. Hopefully they've learned their lesson. 

As an aside, the Dominican team has an amazing lineup.

Tatis Jr.

Marte 

Soto

Guerrero Jr.

Machado

Caminero

Rodriguez

Ramirez

Back up catcher is the famous Dominican, Austin Wells (Don't ask).

---

Update: DR advances 10-0 in seven. (Mercy Rule) on a walk off HR by... wait for it... Austin Wells.

Today, Friday the 13th, is 13 days and 13 exhibition games away from opening day.

In American culture, Friday the 13th is the day of "Jason," the hockey-masked killer of teens, most of whom were delightfully skewered, decapitated and/or impaled on movie screens since 1980. Hey, that's entertainment! 

Yesterday, the Yankees feted their own Jasson - Dominguez, aka "The Martian" or "Bruno Mars" - who hit his 3rd HR of this silent spring. Also, his astral twin, Spencer Jones - aka "Along Came" Jones - added a double. 

Beyond metaphor, both events carried the significance of a tree falling in a forest. Nobody cared, beyond the beer vendors and ticket holders of Scranton, where the pair will play in 2026.

Between now and March 25 - a weird 8 p.m. opener in San Francisco - Yank fans will experience a blitz of meaninglessness, far beyond Dominguez and Jones. Coming soon: a hellacious West Coast heat dome, the insufferable Oscars, the increasingly insane war in the Middle East and the World Baseball Classic.   

Tonight, Captain Aaron Judge and a few various Yankees - the newest being situational lefty Tim Hill - will seek redemption in the WBC, where Team USA was embarrassed earlier this week. 

We lost to Team Italy, a pickup team compiled by Francisco Cervelli, a native of Venezuela and former Yank, who twice went to a hospital after being brutalized by home plate collisions. (We'll never forgive Tampa for its horrible cheap shot on Cerveilli, then a rising young catcher, in a meaningless exhibition. He missed 2008 with a broken wrist, and - by the way - Tampa has never won a championship, thanks to the juju curse that remains.)

So, the Martian and Mr. Jones keep hitting, and the propaganda mill keeps churning - (hey, everybody, Ryan McMahon has a new stance!) Tonight, America faces another hateful Canadian team - the Blue Jays aren't enough - for the WBC trophy, or plaque, or belt - whatever the hell they hand out - and, if we win, an incoherent phone call from You Know Who.

So, the Martian homered, and Jones contributed a double. It's Friday the 13th. Our lucky day. 

Italy saves Team America, and the excursion in Tampa continues

As the WBC hits the knockout round, the afterthoughts in Team Tampa are still searching for their all-purpose version of Cory "Does Everything" Lewandowski.

Yesterday, Oswaldo Cabrera took his shot. 

Takeaways from a meaningless win over Toronto...

1. Giancarlo Stanton blasted two, one into a CF light tower. If we could cryogenically freeze him, to be opened March 28, who wouldn't sign the papers? When a guy can't open a bag of chips, we should savor swing, every blast, every sandwich. Nobody, aside from maybe Ed Sheeran, is more fragile.

2. Randall "the Anti-Martian" Grichuk played LF, and went 1-3 with a run and an RBI. No sign of Jasson Dominguez and/or Spencer Jones, who remain team leaders in RBIs (8, the Martian) and HRs (4, Mr. Jones). Since that horror movie reveal moment in December, when Trent Grisham accepted the Yankees' $22 million qualifying offer, neither had a chance. Steal yourselves for the inevitable sense of loss when Cashman trades either or both for his latest white whale. 

3. Oswaldo played RF, went 0-2. (He's 0-4 this spring.) Everyone wants him to succeed and, I suppose, it's good to give him reps in the OF. But... damn: Ryan McMahon is 3-25 this spring, with six strikeouts. The Yankees ditched Spencer Jones because of the Ks, but McMahon is as strikeout prone as they come. I'd love to see Oswaldo get an honest shot at 3B. Last year, before he broke his ankle, he seemed to be taking the position. Guy deserves a chance. 

4. Cam Schlittler pitched into the 4th, giving up a run and fanning five. Of all Yank starters, he's The Great Hope. If Schlit can repeat last September/October, we can survive April/May without Gerrit Cole and Carlos Rodon. If Schlittler gets hurt, or goes mental, the rotation will collapse, and the bullpen won't be far behind.

5. Bullpen? Oh, yeah. I had put up a block. Right now, it's hard to access the biggest disappointment. We've got Ryan Weathers (ERA 7.94), Jake Bird (4.50), Angel Chivilli (15.43) and Camilo Doval (9.00.) Yikes. This looks like a disaster. At some point, soon, alarms will sound, and Cashman will start making calls. 

6. Jazz Chisholm and Jose "The Gay" Cabellero returned from the WBC. A combined 0-3. No problem. That's our keystone, and I'm fine with it. 

7. Aaron Boone vows to continue screaming at the umps, despite the new robot strike zone. Nothing makes Yank fans happier than knowing that Boonie is back, and planning to yell his heart out. 

8. If anything should scare us, it's Roman Anthony. In the WBC, he's 5-15 with a HR. (Also, Redsock Jaren Durran, for Mexico, has 3 HRs, tied for the lead.) Listen: We should fear Boston. If Anthony becomes the star, as advertised, he could be our Babadook. They will be young and hungry, and we will be a year older, with a manager who howls insults at algorithms. 

Game Thread: Italy vs. Mexico. Italy needs one more run

Some pretty good Italian baseball players.

Italy is up 3-0 in the fifth. 

If I understand the tie breaker correctly the USA team gets in if:

Italy wins. 

Or 

Mexico wins but scores five runs.

So if Italy gets one more run then Mexico would HAVE to score at least five to win. 

UPDATE: Italy up 5-0.   

Supposedly there's some weird extra inning rule that changes the tiebreaker but as long as it's a nine inning game, we're good. 

Not us.

 

Back in the day—before my day—there was a particularly vicious sports columnist for something called the Boston Record, who made it his business to bring down the great Beantown idol who was Ted Williams.

Dave Egan headed an entire pack of Boston writers who took to doing the same, and you know, Dave Egan had two degrees from Harvard so he had to be right. Egan wanted desperately to prove that Teddy Ballgame was not clutch, and he kept a whole list of big games in which The Splendid Splinter had supposedly choked.

Egan's attacks grew so unhinged that, even on the verge of Williams heading off to war for the second time in his career, he ran a column saying that Teddy was actually a bad example to America's youth. 

Why?

Because Ted Williams never liked to wear a necktie, "even when the occasion clearly called for it." (I'm not making this up.)

A little later, the abominable Horace Stoneham, a stone drunk, moved the New York Giants from East Harlem to San Francisco because he didn't like how many Black people were coming to Giants' games, and he was afraid "all the good cities would be taken."

Like a barbarian looting a sacred temple, he took the incomparable Willie Mays with him, to a place that would prove to be where, as Frank Coniff would write, "They cheer Khrushchev and boo Willie Mays."

They did this in good part because of another pack of rabid hyenas posing as sportswriters, led by an unbearable blowhard named Glenn Dickey.

No matter how well he played, Dickey lambasted Mays for "lack of preparation and knowledge...indolence...uncertain intelligence and petulant personality."

Close as these insults came to outright racism, Dickey, a white man, nonetheless also had the temerity to castigate Mays for supposedly refusing to "speak out against racial inequality."

The charge that they are chokers has been leveled against the very greatest of ballplayers, and if you narrow your eyes and squint very hard at just the right statistics, there might seem to be some validity to it.

Teddy Ballgame, after all, hit only .200, with no extra-base hits and just one RBI, in his only World Series. Sure, he was said to be hurting after injuring his arm in a ridiculous, "warm up" game his manager had arranged before the Series. But never mind. Aren't the true greats supposed to rise above the hurts that fell mere mortals?

Willie Mays, for that matter, never hit a home run in the 20 World Series games he played, and had just 1 in the postseason. His teams went a combined 2-5 in October, and he hit all of .247, and just .239 in the Series. What a choker! Oh, yeah, there was the greatest catch ever made. But still!

It barely needs saying that Aaron Judge's postseason record had been erratic, at best. But we seem to bury the big games he has had, while anointing others as "clutch."

In 2017, for instance, Judge hit only .250 against Houston in the ALCS, but had 2 doubles, 3 homers, and 7 ribbies. In the 2018 ALDS, he had 2 homers and hit .375 in four games against Boston—while Mr. Clutch, Giancarlo Stanton, had 4 singles, 0 RBI, and 6 strikeouts, including a crucial K in the very last inning of the series, when Craig Kimbrel could not put the ball over the plate.

Then there was 2019, in the ALCS against Houston, when Judge had only one homer and hit .240...but Mr. Clutch begged out after homering in Game One. Aaron Hicks—Aaron Hicks!!—also played hurt in that one, but managed to hit a game-winning homer.

Then there was last fall when, after batting .364 against Boston, Judge went 9-15 with 4 walks—yes, he was on base 13 times in 4 games—and drove in 6 runs against Toronto, while hitting absolutely the most impossible fucking home run I have ever seen, and going .600/.684/.933/1.618. 

(Giancarlo did a little less well, batting .091 against Boston, then hitting .267 with no homers against Toronto.)

I write all this not to blame Stanton for the Yanks' many awful failures in the postseason in recent years, but just to point out how once somebody gets a reputation for "clutch" or "not clutch," it is very hard to shake it, no matter how deserving he may or may not be. (And I do blame Stanton for being unable to take the field so often in his Yankees' career, something—let's face it—that is almost certainly due in part to his usage of illegal steroids through the years.)

It is, of course, unlikely that Aaron Judge will ever get over his infamous drop in the 5th inning of Game Five of the 2024 World Series.

I choose to think that if the Yankees had won that game they might have gone back to L.A. and run the table. But of course the odds were much more likely that they would have been shut down again by Yoshinobu Yamamoto, a better pitcher than anyone the Yanks had on staff.

And it's worthwhile to remember that even in that terrible Game Five, Aaron Judge also made a terrific leaping catch in deep center, and homered and doubled in the run that gave the Yankees back the lead. And that his drop would've been just a footnote, if the Yankees' braintrust of Brian Cashman and his human sock puppet, Aaron Boone, had not insisted on keeping an injured player at first, a man who couldn't play the position at third—and at short—and a catcher who actually got the Dodgers' winning rally going by managing to grab Ohtani's bat.

All of which is to say that there have been many reasons for why your New York Yankees have not gone all the way in recent years—and almost all of them begin and end with the sheer incompetence and greed of their front office, and the nepo baby who inherited the team. 

Aaron Judge, by contrast, is almost the only player who has given us much joy over the last decade or so. He is almost the only one who has been able to rise above the career-crushing idiocy of Cashman's coaching staffs; the only one who has been able to come back from injury after injury and play better than ever. He is, more than any other player, the man who did easily the most to get us into the postseason to start with.

It has been easy to call him a choker, and I admit, to my great shame, that I have joined in such behavior at times. We all do, in our frustration. But I'll be damned if I'm going to hurl insults at him for not winning a meaningless exhibition game in which Team USA's pitchers managed to give up eight runs to Italy(!).

I think that, despite our frustrations, we generally keep a pretty good perspective on the game. There's no reason for us to ape the Dave Egans and the Glenn Dickeys of the past. That's not us. It just makes us look small—while Aaron Judge will always look big.

Fiasco! So much for the idea that Aaron Judge would finally win the Big One.

Well, this got awful... fast.

Today, instead of being feted as Captain America, Aaron Judge might go down as baseball's version of the "Quad God," having gone 0-for-4 with a game-ending strikeout in the 2026 World Baseball Classic. 

Once again, we're back to wondering what happens to the sport's greatest slugger when a big game is on the line - when a lazy fly ball clanks off his glove in the 2024 world series, or he swings through strike three, as he did last night, with the tying run at the plate. 

Listen: Yank fans love Judge. Always will. He's the greatest Yankee in this millennium - (and, yes, I realize the extent of such a statement) - and we should treasure the time on this earth that we get to watch him. But like Don Mattingly, he's never won a championship, and that's the only measuring stick we know. 

Team USA may still advance to the knockout round, based on some ridiculously complicated scoring system, which makes the federal tax codes look like instructions for chewing gum. But if America's team fails, last night's loss to Italy - Italy! Mamma Mia! - is going to sour our tongues far beyond opening day. And, across the landscape of baseball, nobody will carry the burden of that disappointment more than the Captain. 

All rise? 

Maybe, all over.

Another sad moment in an era when the Yankees - the mighty Yankees - have lost their way. 

In other news yesterday, both the Martian and Mr. Jones homered, salting the wounds of fans who dreamed of a breakout Yankee in 2026. Instead, we'll get Randal Grichuk in an algorithmic platoon with Trent Grisham. The homers came shortly after Spencer Jones was relegated to Scranton, with Jasson Dominguez's bus ticket all but printed out. 

If there is a lesson to the upcoming Ides of March - a time that will be remembered for an unpopular war, endless airport lines, exploding gasoline prices and, now,  the colossal disappointment of Team USA - it is that you cannot teach hunger, and a team of distracted millionaires will always lose to one of angry youngsters. 

It's a lesson the Yankees do not seem capable of learning. What a fiasco. 

Game Thread: USA vs Italy . USA down 6-0 in the sixth

Make that 7-0!   They might not even advance.

Uh 8-0 now.... 

USA LOSES. JUDGE WAS THE FINAL OUT! 

He K'd!

Oh...Eddie!

A terrifying thought for Yankee fans: Could this World Baseball Classic turn out to be Aaron Judge's greatest moments?

 
Last night, while the baseball world watched America throttle Mexico, the lost and abandoned leftovers of Tampa - a roster of big names and the nameless - continued its spring quest for significance, (a mission that cannot succeed.) 

The Yankees did their annual mating dance with the Pirates of Bradenton, Brian Cashman's preferred trading partner over the last decade. But while Team Tampa cavorted before drunken spring breakers and diapered ex-cops, over in Houston, games of supercharged emotions were happening, with a few Yankees in key roles. 

1. First and foremost, there is Captain America, Aaron Judge. Last night, he did us proud: a HR, a single, two walks and a zipline throw to 3B, catching a runner.

Here's a terrifying thought: Could Judge's greatest career moments happen not as a Yankee, but in the jersey that says USA? When you look at the lineup around him, you see players who shoulda been Yankees - Harper, Schwarber, Bregman. Will he ever win a world series? Or are we seeing his zenith?

2. Jose Caballero, as SS for Panama, continues to show he belongs in the Yankee infield. Last night, he went 2-5 against Columbia, with a HR and stolen base, his 2nd of the tourney. The craziest Yankee notion is the one where Anthony Volpe returns in June and takes over his rightful position at SS. Nope.  

3. Elmer Rodriguez, 22, pitched three scoreless innings for Puerto Rico, striking out four and giving up one hit. He could be this year's Cam Schlittler - or maybe Carlos Lagrange. Over the winter, Brian Cashman decided to play a strategy: Stand pat and somehow spackle together a pitching staff until July, when Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rodon and maybe Clarke Schmidt return. That's a grand infusion, if the Yankees can get there. If Rodriguez is for real, their chances are much better.

4. Giancarlo Stanton needs scissors to open a bag of Utz's Honey Barbecue. I cannot see him without imagining him tearing open the bag with his teeth, surging for a salt and vinegar rush. Yesterday, he homered for Team Tampa. What does it mean? Dunno. Nobody - anywhere, these days - nobody knows what to make of Stanton. He just comes and goes, a Shakespearian ghost. We don't get excited when he hits one. It's just a reminder that he's there. Could it be a good thing if he cuts back on the chips?  

5. The Randal Grichuk Era has begun. The Yankees newest RH platoon hitter went 0-2. Neither The Martian nor Mr. Jones saw a pitch. Unlike the pitching staff, the Yankee batting order won't see a Cole/Rodon infusion this summer. 

If anything, come April, Judge might need to rest his psyche, after the pressure-packed WBC. He'll face two colossal challenges: Ohtani 's Japan, and Juan Soto's Dominican Republic. I wonder if he'll miss the easy afternoons of Tampa? But there's no turning back now. It's on. 

Game Thread: USA vs Mexico. Plus, Five Reasons I'm Enjoying the WBC

1) I'm happy to be watching "meaningful" baseball.

    I know that it's a manufactured tournament and that there are teams that have no business playing but, if you look at how happy the players are when they score or make a great play or win there can be no doubt that the games mean something.  Aaron Judge just gunned down a runner at third and his teammates and the crowd went wild. It matters.

Update: Judge goes the other way for a two run HR. Always great to watch. 

2) As opposed to watching more spring training games. 

    I tried to watch the Yankees/Pirates, Stanton hit a HR. Other things happened. I don't care.    They don't care. 

3) It's great to see other players from other teams and be able to root for them. 

     I'm fully prepared to hate Roman Anthony for the rest of his career. Just not today. He's VERY good BTW.  Plus, I get to see Paul Skenes, Turbal, even Bregman, and wish them well. 

Harper is up. Judge on deck. In another universe I've been rooting for that line-up for years. 

4) The Stories

    Contreras's kid at seventeen breaks Judge's bat and get him to ground out in a DP. The guy pitching for Mexico is old and just what you'd expect.  Crafty. 

Kids. Old men. People from England.... C'mon.

5) Baseball. 

    There's a lot to worry about these days. I need the three hours. 

Bonus:  You know to want the USA team to beat Japan and Othani and Yamamoto. If you say no... you are lying to yourself.

An AAlert from the Emergency Bit-Cast System !

NO NO NO it is not AAron'geddon (at least not yet) !  

Rather, this is a blog early warning system message from 13 BIT alerting everyone that a get together is in the works to take place at Yankees Stadium to watch the 2026 Yankees battle against the team from Cincinnati, aka "The Reds" on 

Saturday, June 20th @ 1:35 PM

(There is also a game at the same time on June 21st but, uh, like...you know - that's Father's Day and it might be a problem because of, uhm, uh - all THE DARN DADDIES !)

It appears that Hoss, JM, Carl W, RangerLP and Hinkey can go.  The question is: How many others can make it ?

Feel free to post here and/or send an email to motelsign (@) protonmail.com.

We are also looking to organize an event for sometime in August as well.

And, much as I like the upper decks, after the musical onslaught at the last get together, I'm probably going to want to spring for some slightly nicer seats.

Please let us know your interest so we know how many tickets to acquire.

Thank you for your attention and please, carry on.

And remember:  Chew 'em and Blow 'em if yah Got 'em!

While Team USA rests, the Yankees sleepwalk...

That thunder you heard last night, roiling up from the Gulf Coast, rather than Houston? That was no storm. Nope. It was the Weathers. (Get it? Ha-ha.) 

It was the bursting of Yankee balloons, as one of the brain trust's great hopes for 2026 fostered an ear-popping reality.  

I direct your attention to the above box score, the keeper of secrets and the bringer of insignificance. 

Ryan Weathers - for whom the Yankees traded four prospects, and for whom the front office has congratulated itself, nonstop, ever since - got raked by the Mets. Of course, we can take comfort in knowing that, as Rose Leslie once told Kit Harrington, "You know nothing, John Snow." Because it's true. We do know nothing. 

Still, in recent days, Yank pitching hopes are reminding us why their former teams are - well - former teams.

Weathers got trounced. After a 1-2-3 first, his barometric pressure caved. In the second: Leadoff single, fly out, walk, infield single, walk, single, hookaroo. Boone brought back out in the third, because - hey, it's March. Weathers didn't fare much better: Four hits, two doubles, and it was Cade Winquest time.

Yep, Cade Winquest, the Rule 5 draftee that last month had Cashman drafting his GM of the Year acceptance speech. He pitched to four batters, gave up a walk and a single. The Yankees may yet return him to St. Louis.

Yesterday followed a string of lame outings by hopeful bullpen lug nuts. Jake Bird and Angel Chivilli, I'm talking to you.

In recent years, the Yankees have started seasons with seemingly lockdown bullpens, only to watch them stride into quicksand by mid-season. This year, we might start the season with a problem.

Two young pitchers - Carlos Lagrange and Elmer Rodriguez - have provided excitement. Lagrange has pitched twice - 5.2 innings, 6 Ks, one earned run. Rodriguez went to the World Baseball Classic, for Puerto Rico, and threw three scoreless innings in an exhibition against Boston. Haven't seen him since. 

The Yankees roster features two position players, similar to Legrange and Rodriguez. For the record, yesterday, The Martian and Mr. Jones played decently against the Mets.

Jasson Dominguez went 1-4 with 2 RBIs and 2 Ks. Most importantly, he threw out a runner. Any game in which The Martian does not commit an error or a non-box score snafu - that's a victory of sorts.

Meanwhile, Spencer Jones went 1-3 with an RBI and a strikeout. Any time he doesn't contribute a Golden Sombrero - a victory of sorts. 

Any other team in baseball would pit these two against each other for at least the fourth OF slot; they possess talent that could sustain the lineup for the next five years. Not the Yankees, though. Nope. We're waiting on Randal Grichuk. (Who didn't play yesterday.)

And the Yankees wonder why their fan base has turned to the WBC? I'm just worrying that Aaron Judge will be to the Classic what the Quad God was to the winter Olympics. Or worse, what if he pulls something? Please, juju gods, protect him!  

Let 'em Play

But why kid ourselves: Brazil? Great Britain? The Netherlands? Czechia? What about Madagascar? This so-called "Classic" is crapola. Globally, three teams, maybe four - USA, Japan, Dominican Republic and maybe Mexico? - stand above the rest. You could make a case for an eight-team tourney. But twenty? Ridiculous.

It is a shame to see a writer as gifted and clever as Mr. Seely stoop to writing a sentence like this. Perhaps he does not understand that every tournament-style competition will have teams that are decidedly weaker than the rest of the competition. Let's take a look.

In the recently concluded Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics of 2026, there were 93 participating countries. Here's the complete list. I do not recall seeing one word written by any reputable writer that the Olympics were "crapola" because Lichtenstein brought a team of 7 athletes who won zip. They let them play and compete.

In the upcoming 2026 FIFA World Cup, 48 countries will be competing. Here's the complete list. We should probably kick out at least half of those third-world countries (like Iran) who have no chance of winning, and cut to the chase. Hell, no one in the USA likes soccer anyway, right? So even though we're hosting the event alongside Mexico and Canada, let's just have Team USA serve Gatorade to the real competitors.

The International T-20 Cricket World Cup features 20 teams, with the United States as one of them. Here's the complete list. Why is the USA even in this tournament? They suck. Throw the bums out and let the real cricket powerhouses play, I say!

The 2024 Summer Olympic games in Paris featured teams from 204 countries. Here's the complete list. I'll let Mr. Seely go through the list and pick out the ones he would eliminate so we could get the Olympics down to a reasonable number of countries - say, 20 - and just get it over with. 206 countries? Ridiculous! I'm sure the IOC would love to hear Mr. Seely's recommendations.

When you compete in a world sporting tournament, of course you're going to have weaker teams, and in many cases, much weaker. So what's the point of picking on the Brazils and Great Britians and Chinese Taipeis of the WBC? Such criticism simply shows a small-mindedness, a provincial way of looking at worldwide competition. Brazil itself admitted that it would be an accomplishment just to play 9 innings against the USA. They know what they're up against, and I doubt they have any illusions.

And guess what? The MLB stars on the USA team don't think the WBC is crapola anymore. They used to. Now they ask their agents to try and get them an invite to join the team. People who think the WBC is crapola are simply looking at the event through their narrow provincial glasses. The excitement the tournament brings to baseball lovers around the world seems to escape their notice or attention. It's an unfortunately typical way that Americans view anything outside their shores.

They came to play. So let 'em play.

United States pounds United Kingdom, while Tampa Yanks pound sand

Behold! While Team USA was strangling England, 9-1, in a tourney that might be forgotten in two weeks - (Aaron Judge, 2-for-9, or .222) - the Yanks of Tampa were delivering their latest, ultra-meaningless, box.

What it shows: The Martian went one-for-three. 

What it doesn't show: He threw out a guy trying to stretch a single into a double. This, one day after he was embarrassed on just such a play. Progress? Don't matter. He's checking apartments in Scranton.

What it shows: George Lombard Jr., now our consensus #1 prospect, went 0-2 with a walk and a K. 

What it doesn't show: He got picked off. He's ticketed for Somerset.

What it shows: Spencer Jones went 1-2 with an RBI. No Ks.

What it doesn't show: He stole second, was stranded. Later, he walked with two outs, stranded. Sums it up. Stranded.

What it shows: Will Warren pitched 4 IP, 3 Ks, 2 hits, an unearned run.

What it doesn't show: The Martian saved him on that assist at 2B. Lombard's botched grounder led to the run.

What it shows: Jake Bird got pounded. Two-thirds of an inning, two runs. He's starting to look like a Cashman Cutie, a deal that never bears fruit.

What it doesn't show:  How it went down: Leadoff walk. Single to center. Triple to right. Strikeout. Flyout. Hook. Ugh. 

While Team USA toyed with a tomato can, the Yankees unveiled Cam Schlittler

On the most obscure night yet for the '26 Yankees - while Team USA was punishing a concoction of players apparently drawn together by the 1985 Terry Gilliam movie, "Brazil" - the Yankees uncorked Cam Schlittler, their most critical pitcher this spring. 

Every hopeful prediction for the 2026 Yankees is framed by three keys: 

1. Aaron Judge stays healthy.

2. Gerrit Cole returns. 

3. Cam Schlittler is for real.

If those three happen, the Yanks will challenge in the AL East, selling tickets into September. Come October, as the brain trust loves to assure us, anything can happen. (It just hasn't, for the last 17 years.)

So, last night, Schlittler pitched well enough to set aside our darkest fears, that last fall's extra stresses could impair his upcoming season. 

Last night, we could watch a split-screen buffet: 

The B-squad, featuring the future no-names of Somerset, against the dregs of Tampa.

Or USA's systematic dismantlement of Team Brazil, which should have been playing in Double A. 

From the git-go, when Aaron Judge homered, the World Baseball Classic game was a joke. It was USA bombing Iran. Against a team of MLB all-stars, Brazil trotted out a 17-year-old high school pitcher, a college hurler, a truck driver and a lineup of players past their sell-by dates. 

Listen: I like the WBC, especially with Judge playing. It warms my heart to see Houston fans wearing robes and powdered wigs, and even to see Alex Bregman, for a change, cheating for our side. Last night, as Judge rounded the bases, it reminded me of how lucky Yank fans are: On a nightly basis, we watch the greatest slugger of modern times. It's nice to share him with the world.

But why kid ourselves: Brazil? Great Britain? The Netherlands? Czechia? What about Madagascar? This so-called "Classic" is crapola. Globally, three teams, maybe four - USA, Japan, Dominican Republic and maybe Mexico? - stand above the rest. You could make a case for an eight-team tourney. But twenty? Ridiculous. Last night, it was Lions v Christians, and - frankly - any HR hit by Judge is just one that doesn't matter, and I'd prefer to see them helping the Yankees. 

So, the usual takeaways:

1. Spencer Jones and the Martian did not play in the Yankee game. Donno why. You might think one of the benefits of losing 11 players to the WBC is more playing time for Dominguez and Jones. Oh, well... 

2. Schlittler's line. Two innings. No runs. Four Ks. Fingers crossed. 

3. Ben Rice played 1B and went 1-2. He's now 7 for 17 - .412 - this spring. Of all the Yankees, I believe Rice is our greatest hope to break out as a star in 2026.

4. Oswaldo Cabrera finally played into a game. Nice ovation. He walked and scored. Played SS. Not since Didi Gregorius has a player smiled his way into the Yankee fan base. Everybody loves Oswaldo. I really hope he gets a shot.