While Team USA toyed with a tomato can, the Yankees unveiled Cam Schlittler

On the most obscure night yet for the '26 Yankees - while Team USA was punishing a concoction of players apparently drawn together by the 1985 Terry Gilliam movie, "Brazil" - the Yankees uncorked Cam Schlittler, their most critical pitcher this spring. 

Every hopeful prediction for the 2026 Yankees is framed by three keys: 

1. Aaron Judge stays healthy.

2. Gerrit Cole returns. 

3. Cam Schlittler is for real.

If those three happen, the Yanks will challenge in the AL East, selling tickets into September. Come October, as the brain trust loves to assure us, anything can happen. (It just hasn't, for the last 17 years.)

So, last night, Schlittler pitched well enough to set aside our darkest fears, that last fall's extra stresses could impair his upcoming season. 

Last night, we could watch a split-screen buffet: 

The B-squad, featuring the future no-names of Somerset, against the dregs of Tampa.

Or USA's systematic dismantlement of Team Brazil, which should have been playing in Double A. 

From the git-go, when Aaron Judge homered, the World Baseball Classic game was a joke. It was USA bombing Iran. Against a team of MLB all-stars, Brazil trotted out a 17-year-old high school pitcher, a college hurler, a truck driver and a lineup of players past their sell-by dates. 

Listen: I like the WBC, especially with Judge playing. It warms my heart to see Houston fans wearing robes and powdered wigs, and even to see Alex Bregman, for a change, cheating for our side. Last night, as Judge rounded the bases, it reminded me of how lucky Yank fans are: On a nightly basis, we watch the greatest slugger of modern times. It's nice to share him with the world.

But why kid ourselves: Brazil? Great Britain? The Netherlands? Czechia? What about Madagascar? This so-called "Classic" is crapola. Globally, three teams, maybe four - USA, Japan, Dominican Republic and maybe Mexico? - stand above the rest. You could make a case for an eight-team tourney. But twenty? Ridiculous. Last night, it was Lions v Christians, and - frankly - any HR hit by Judge is just one that doesn't matter, and I'd prefer to see them helping the Yankees. 

So, the usual takeaways:

1. Spencer Jones and the Martian did not play in the Yankee game. Donno why. You might think one of the benefits of losing 11 players to the WBC is more playing time for Dominguez and Jones. Oh, well... 

2. Schlittler's line. Two innings. No runs. Four Ks. Fingers crossed. 

3. Ben Rice played 1B and went 1-2. He's now 7 for 17 - .412 - this spring. Of all the Yankees, I believe Rice is our greatest hope to break out as a star in 2026.

4. Oswaldo Cabrera finally played into a game. Nice ovation. He walked and scored. Played SS. Not since Didi Gregorius has a player smiled his way into the Yankee fan base. Everybody loves Oswaldo. I really hope he gets a shot. 

Game Thread: WBC USA vs Brazil

Judge hit a two run HR in his first at bat.

https://www.mlb.com/video/aaron-judge-s-two-run-homer-8dd118?partnerId=web_video-playback-page_video-share

Plus:

Manny Ramirez's son hit an HR for Brazil.

Jose' Contreras's son, seventeen years old, throws 98, 

and got Judge to ground into a DP with the bases loaded.  

Hal Steinbrenner is lying to you...

 ...and so are the owners of the Atlanta Braves, the Chicago Cubs, the Boston Red Sox, the Philadelphia Phillies, and maybe about half of all teams is the atrocious corporate entity known as MLB.  

How do I know? Check out this list of the most profitable sports franchises in the world for 2026:

Holy simolees, Batman! Not a single MLB club is on the list of the top 20, most profitable sports franchises (not sure how Mercedes F 1 is a franchise, but never mind) in the world, supposedly from Forbes.

It's a joke.  

(The most hilarious parts being that the Yanks are supposedly less profitable than the Rangers. Or the Jets, even with the NFL's version of corporate communism.)

For starters, the self-same Forbes has for years—even decades—named your New York Yankees one of the top 2 or 3 wealthiest sports franchises in the world, usually just behind the Dallas Cowboys.  From the most recent Forbes assessment I could find online, they value the Yanks at $8.2 BILLION.

Forbes further claims that this figure represents 11.3 times the annual revenue of NYY. Do the math—or, all right, let the all-knowing, all-seeing brain within your computer do the math—and that puts the annual revenue of the Yanks at $725,663,717—give or take a few pennies that Hal always snatches out of the till.

There are differing figures for the Yankees' payroll this year, but at max it is $332 million.  

Take away the payroll from the revenue, and we're talking about $393 million.  Even subtracting the $100 million in taxes that Hal complains so bitterly about—and another $100 million for everything else, those incompetent scouts, trainers, and front office—and we're STILL talking about an annual profit in the ballpark of $193 million, or enough to crack the Top Ten on Forbes' own list.

What's more—and I know this will come as a shock—there is every reason to believe that the Yanks are not being fully forthcoming about what they actually make.

For instance, while estimates of the average price of a Yankees' ticket vary greatly, some sources have it as high as $128. Multiply that times the 3,392,659 fans the Yanks drew in the regular season last year, and we're talking $482,495,616—or ALREADY the team's entire payroll this year and about $150 mill to boot.

But let's say it's even at the low-end estimate of $67 a ducat.  That's still $227,308,153—just $105 mill short of payroll. 

What's more—that $67-128 does NOT seem to include the 56-68 luxury boxes, where 12-100 customers pay $2,500-$20,000 each, or the 4,300 "premium club level seats that go for $200-$900 each.  

(And how IS it that every single financial figure regarding the Yankees is so madly vague and speculative.  Could it be...on purpose? And why has no local news source ever set out to pin down the real figures?)

All of which is before we figure in...concessions, parking, souvenirs (at and away from the ballpark), and...what's that other thing...don't tell me...

OH YEAH! Broadcast rights. TV (on the Yanks' own channel, and so many others), radio, phones, computers, etc.

In short, it's difficult to believe that the Yankees are raking in less than at least $500 million a year in profit, and quite possibly over a billion. Which would leave them topping this new Forbes list.

I don't mean to single out Hal, who lies as he breathes. I'm sure the rest of MLB is lying, too, probably on command of Maximum Leader Rob Manfred.  

Why would they do this? Um, maybe to help set the table for the upcoming basic agreement Armageddon?

I know, I know. It's a very small thing, with so many monstrous lies going around in the real world, and a possible, true Armageddon looming (You guys have been killing it on that, by the by, and I want to join in as soon as I have the time.).

But let's be clear. It's just not true that, say, the Atlanta Hawks are out-profiting every team in MLB. Or the Edmonton Oilers. Or the New York Jets.

 

Headlines for the posterity scrapbook

 

An Above Average look at our leader, Seedy–Bubbles Boone . . . . .

Just LOOK into his EYES and

FEEL the FIRE of his DESIRE !

Will he deliver us to the promise land in 2 0 2 6 ?

(and who will pick 100 wins for the team this year – 

STANG or ABOVE AVERAGE'S CAT ?)

 

As the WBC takes off, the Yankee leftovers plod onward

Searching for meaning in an especially meaningless universe...

Box scores during the new Winter Olympics World Baseball Classic. Ten takeaways.

1. Twelve Yanks in the WBC. Judge, Goldy, Bednar (USA); Wells, Doval, Rosario (DR); Cruz, Rodriguez (PR); Caballero (Panama), Chisholm, Beck (UK); Cohen (Israel.) Yes, Jazz is playing for jolly old England. Bob's yer uncle.

2. You'd think being 12 players down would mean extra playing time for Spencer Jones and the Martian, but - nah - only one OF gone.

3. Jones and Dominguez continue to haunt. Yesterday, in his lone plate appearance, Jones drew a walk. The Martian came up twice: singling to center and flying out to left.  

4. Box won't show it, but Dominguez lollygagged a gapper to left-center, letting a Twin leg it into a double. The Martian looked surprised at the notion of a runner, hustling, then he threw wide to second. Exactly the play he needs to make next month, in Scranton. 

5. Angel Chivlli - whom Cashman obtained for T.J. Rumfeld, (currently 6 for 18 with 3 HRs at Colorado) - a source of front office self-congratulation, entered the game with decent numbers... and left with an ERA over 18.00. 

6. Here's how it happened. He came in for the 5th, facing the Twin no-names. (That's a redundancy, eh?) First guy doubles. Next guy - (named "Outman," I mean, you can't make this stuff up) - homers. Then... infield hit, strikeout, walk, single, Boonie hook-a-roo.

7. Another Cashman pitching project, Cade Winquest, got knocked around, sorta, giving up a run on two hits.

8. For Winquest, it's not as bad as it sounds: He walked the leadoff hitter, moved him to second with a wild pitch, then gave up an infield hit. First and third, nobody out. He works a K, conjures a ground out, then gives up an infield hit, with 3B Ryan McMahon botching the throw, scoring the runner. E-5.

9. Winquest is a December Rule 5 draft pick, which means a) the Yankees must keep him all season or return him to St. Louis; b) practically every team in baseball had a shot at picking him, and passed; c) he'd be a big win for the front office, which needs a win. 

10. A lotta noise out there about Bryce Harper being pissed at the Phillies, who seem to be disrespecting him. It has spawned bullshit rumors about a trade with the Yankees, who were Harper's dream destination, as a kid. Make no mistake: Harper will someday be a Yankee. But he'll be pushing 42.

Baseball is about to see a spring like no other in our lives.

 

Yesterday, the Death Barge whupped Boston, 4-0, and ran its meaningless win streak to a pointless nine games. At 9-2, we are tied with the Pirates for 1st place in the MLB Grapefruit League! 

All for nothing, right? 

Not complaining, I guess. A win's a win, right?  

Over nine games, the second-tier Yankees have beaten sluggish, second-tier opponents, sometimes by whopping margins. "Victories," mostly from no-name players, chasing a final, nonexistent bullpen slot, or a place in the traveling Wilkes Barres' outfield. 

A win's a win, right? I mean, when the Yanks win a game in July, it still doesn't fix the brakes on your car, right? Spring, summer, fall - they're all meaningless in the context of our lives, right? 

Well, this is a spring like no other.  What do I mean?

1. No matter what happens over the next two weeks, the Yankees will enter 2026 as wild card contenders. The AL East is a jumble. 

2. The Yankees' key returnees - Cole, Volpe, Rodon - won't arrive until summer. 

3. The team has not yet suffered a major injury. (Last year, by now, Cole was gone and Giancarlo faced a lost season.) 

4. Our most hyped prospects - The Martian and Spencer Jones - will be relegated to Scranton. How will they take to it? 

5. The World Baseball Classic is about to put unprecedented stresses on key players, across the spectrum of MLB. 

6. The bombing of Iran will add to the pressure in ways that I do not believe any of us can readily imagine. 

7. It's already putting enormous stress on Aaron Judge, captain of Team USA. (Of all things, he was mocked yesterday for a fumbling speech to the team.)

8. The WBC will surely bring injuries. We want America to win. But at what cost?

9. It remains to be seen whether the WBC will capture the American audience. Will these games be similarly meaningless, come June? Will anybody care who won?

10. No past WBC has taken place in such an unsettled world. This shall be a spring like nothing we have faced in our lives. Meaningless games, right? March Madness. 

WTF is coming?  

"Give us our canal back!" Yanks tell Panama, via meaningless 11-1 whipping

It even meant beating turncoat Jose Cabalero, who forgot what privately owned corporate entity signs his paychecks, and who played for Team Panama. 

Takeaways:

1. Jose "The Gay" Cabalero off for his homeland, went 0-2 with a walk, stole no bases, played errorless SS and turned a DP. He's ours. From now on, we should call him "The Isthmus."

2. The Martian went 1-3 with a run. Thus far this spring, he is hitless (0-6) from the right side, against LH pitchers. Batting lefty, he is 5-9 with two doubles. Unless he starts bashing lefties, he's ticketed for Scranton.  

3. Potato Chips Stanton: 1-2 with a walk. His first game all spring. He could celebrate with a can of Pringles.

4. No sign of Spencer Jones. Again. Is he playing for Team Madagascar? 

5. Yanquiel Fernandez, the 23-year-old former prospect from Colorado, went 0-2. Why do I care?

6. Max Fried pitched 3 innings, no runs, one hit, three uncharacteristic walks. 

7. Yanks ended the game with Osvaldo Bido on the mound. Gave up a run - the only run for Panama. He's 30, on his 3rd team in the last three years. (Pittsburgh, Oakland, Yankees.) An international man of mystery, no minor league stats on mlb.com. Did he just arrive, fully formed? Osvaldo Bido.

8. There was a time when Team Panama would have meant facing Mariano... 

Dear Captain Judge: You are about to make history. Don't let them turn you into a prop.

O Captain, our Captain...

It will soon get crazy. And tumultuous. And, maybe, dangerous.

Your name. Your image. Your legacy, that is. 

The World Baseball Classic is about to replace what should be two weeks of lollygagged, easy-going afternoons with some of the pressurized games in our time.

The series will pit nations against each other, as the world surges toward war. 

As captain of Team USA, you will be scrutinized, sanctified and maybe defined for years to come by malignant forces that seek to turn ballgames into political points. 

Your job is to win those games, not to prop up a leader, or resistance to one.

Your job is to unify a team, not rouse the nation to the right or left.

Your mission is to win the tournament, not to let yourself or your teammates be used as a prop.

None of this will be easy. America always demands a winner, and baseball will always be the national game. In this tourney, there shall be no wild card, no finishing 2nd - and no quick returning to normal. 

When it's over, if you fail, there will be no excuses, no silver medals, no reward for having played the game. 

And if you prevail, there will come a moment when you are expected to pose for pictures, for photographs that might just define your place in history. 

Your time in the hot seat is coming. I know you will represent the Yankees with pride. I know you will represent America with dignity. 

But please... whatever happens... don't let them use you. 

Box Scores of the Vanities: Takeaways, take me away!

 Yanks now 8-2 on the meaningless preseason, leading the meaningless Grapefruit league, generating meaningless takeaways from meaningless box scores...

1. Yesterday, the Martian went 0-3: a K, a grounder to SS, and an infield pop. Gotta wonder if it's time for the funk that validates the looming front office decision to file him away in the Dunder Mifflin bureau.

2. All five Yank runs were generated by fringe, non-roster, no-names: Ellis (age 28) Martinez (26) Brown (33), Palma (24) Fernandez (23.) Nice for nobodies to get a chance. But lineup is toothless.

3. Wait. Let's talk about Yanquiel Fernandez, who doubled to center and drove in a run. He's a former bigly hyped Rockies OF - 6'2" and 200 lbs, from Cuba - reincarnated as a second-chance nothing burger. The Yankees got him two weeks ago with a microscopic waiver wire move. He supposedly has tape measure power and a cannon for an arm. He doubled off somebody named Zach Pop, who was knocked around by the bottom of the Yankee lineup. Still, Fernanez is sorta interesting. On the spring, he's 2 for 9, (.222.) He could comprise an OF of the Lost in Scranton - with Dominguez and Spencer Jones.

4. Ooh, ooh, jumpin' Jehovastaht! I mentioned Spencer Jones.  He didn't play. 

5. Yankees gushing over Will Warren, who pitched into the 4th with one hit, and who struck out the side in the 1st. They say he's pitching from a different side of the rubber. Hence, the biggest trope of spring baseball: A player's new adjustment has made him a star. 

6. Write this down: The only thing less meaningful than the box score is the drivel of the postgame interview. 

7. More kudos from the front office to, well, itself: Yankees were brilliant to draft Ben Hess, who thus far hasn't done much. Yesterday, he pitched two scoreless innings. Yanks would have us believe the farm system is vastly underassessed due to the bounty crop of young pitchers. Trouble is, every team in baseball has blazing young arms. Have you looked at the Mets? Jays? Redsocks? Yikes.

8. Cade Winquest, the all-or-nothing Rule 5 pick, got whacked. He went 2/3rds of an inning, gave up a HR off - um - Bryson Stott? He either makes the team out of camp, or he goes back to St. Louis.

9. Lineups are starting to show movement of players to the World Baseball Classic. 

10. With Aaron Judge as captain, Yank fans will be the most patriotic rooters in baseball. But but BUT... there is danger here. What if Trump politicizes the thing? (Why am I asking this? Of course he will.) Could the Yankees get caught in it? (Of course they will.)

A modest proposal (written with the remainders of a hangover)

I finally got around to reading what Hoss had to say about the list of retired numbers, and while I continue to disagree about some of them, I think the discussion is maybe what "retiring a number" signifies.

To me, it's Mick and Joe and Lou and Yogi and the Babe and a couple of others.

You know, the giants. The men who came to define "Yankee-ness" over the course of many years in pinstripes. 

That leaves out a lot of people, and it always has. Ruth, Gehrig, Dickey...there was nobody else on those teams whose number was retired. But I bet there were players who did something memorable or great but maybe weren't consistently great. Or had injuries that cut their greatness short, or were only with the team for a relatively short period of time, or...well, take your pick.

Those are the kind of guys I say shouldn't have their number retired. Stengel, yes. Torre, no. Whitey, but not Guidry. Dickey but not Thurm. DiMag, but not Donnie. Mariano but not Sparky or someone.

They don't deserve to be forgotten. But maybe we can come up with some other honor besides retiring their numbers, which I still think should be reserved for the very, very few. 

Maybe there's a Yankees Wall of Honor or something for notable but not "giant" Yankees. Maybe mini-plaques. There's a little ceremony, gifts, mementos. A day to let the player know he is remembered and appreciated.

As it stands now, there are too many retired numbers for it to mean what it used to mean. And there are too many guys in the Hall of Fame, too.

At some point, at this rate, neither will mean much of anything.

The mystery box in the box score: Yesterday's takeaways

We are at war. But life goes on.

Takeaways from yesterday.

1. Nick Torres, the '25 Mexican League MVP, didn't exactly break down any fences. He botched a pop fly that let Toronto's only run score. And in the 8th, ahead 3-0 in the count, he crushed a belt-high meatball, right over the plate - for a routine grounder to SS. Meh-ico. 

2. Cody Bellinger has a bad back. He'll miss a few. The Death Barge is pooh-poohing it, as they always do. The old lumbago. Nothing to worry about. 

Listen: There is no such thing as a "minor" bad back. Nothing ages an athlete more rapidly. Moreover, I don't recall it being mentioned last year.  

3. Yesterday, Paul Blackburn became the first Yank pitcher to last into the  fourth inning. But he was damn lucky to make it. He gave up two singles, putting runners on first and third with one out, then was lucky when a line drive turned into a double play.  

4. Spencer Jones finally put the bat on the ball, without homering. He flied out to CF and then hit a grounder to SS that was botched on the throw to first. Jones ended up on second, and a run scored. This is why you don't want 200 strikeouts from a hitter. When you put the ball into play, strange things happen. Jones is 3-for-10 this spring with two HRs and four Ks. (The Martian yesteday didn't play.)

5. Mr. Potato Chip, Giancarlo Stanton, expects to appear in his first spring game on Tuesday. Distressing news over the weekend: Stanton says that, on bad days, his tennis elbows are so bad that he cannot open a bag of chips. If so, I wonder what the Yankees, realistically, can expect from him. He has 463 career HRs. Doesn't look good for 500. 

Spencer Jones and the Martian are wreaking hell upon hope

All right, everybody... let's indulge ourselves for one spectacular moment.

What if... WHAT IF... Spencer Jones and Jasson Dominguez just keep hitting? 

I mean, what if they go on monstrous spring tears, as they have done thus far. What happens then? Huh? WHAT THEN? 

Right now, Jones is tied for the Grapefruit League HR lead - (Fun fact: He's tied with T.J. Rumfeld, whom our front office recently traded for Angel Chivilli, and the forever Yankee-cursed Mike Yastrzemski.) Jones has three HRs in four games, with four strikeouts and two walks. He's 3 for 8, hitting .375.

Then there is the Martian, who went 3 for 3 yesterday, lifting his batting average to .417 in the tiny sample size.

Okay... we know this won't last. It's freakin' February. They've barely played a week. They're facing the dregs of MLB pitchers, and none of this matters. There is no reason to clutch the lucky washcloth and get hopeful, because nothing matters, and even if it did, this won't last.

But but BUT... what if it does? What if the pair, having put in their times at Triple A, having reached the zenith of their youth, are simply ready for prime time? Huh? 

What if they keep hitting? Huh? Huh? HUH?

Well, I'll tell you... 

If the Martian and Mr. Jones go on wild hot streaks, it will simply amplify their demoralization and depressions, when their bus arrives March 23 in the Scranton Greyhound station, and they unload their napsack, full of their moms' clippings from THE GRIT, and hitchhike to the two-room hovel they rented in Wilkes Barre - all because the Mother Ship Yankees are stuck in a time-and- space detention center, like the one to soon spring up outside your town. It won't matter that they proved themselves. They will be exiled to central Pennsylvania so the Yankees can keep Randal Grichuk or whatever new veteran pops up on the waiver wire over the next three weeks. 

They are the saddest prospects in baseball - youngsters who prove themselves, only to be discarded by a franchise that makes no place for them. And whatever excitement they generate this spring, it will merely make their absence, come April, harder to ignore. 

The Yankees are the same team as last year. How thrilling.