Next month, we can can crush Boston, and other vapid thoughts on a West Coast swing

Ten sweet thoughts for a West Coast sojourn: 

1. Why is there no one, great, iconic song about Sacramento? (See right.) The town is Lodi on steroids, Ventura Highway on last call. Didn't Warren or Joni ever get drunk there? Thinking white bread, glistening Newsome hair, Stepford crowds... If so, Yank fans could dominate tonight. This is why the Yankee brand name must be preserved. Sacramento, my memento, heaven sent-o, you big Pimento...  

2. JC Escara is supposedly trying to switch-hit. I say, you go, guy! He's hitting .200. Can he do worse?

3. Yank fans haven't fully appreciated Boston's rancid first two months. I know, I know... it's too soon to crow. But we play them seven times in June. We can scuttle them. Last winter, no fans in baseball had higher hopes. It's delicious now, watching them slink from bush to bush, avoiding eye-contact, as the totality of their failure emerges. They are Ebola. Seven games. If we win five, Boston's done.  

4. The Athletic - the Gray Lady's sports page - lists bullpen and RH catcher as our trade deadline needs. (Christian Vazquez, finishing his journey?) But the failure of Ryan McMahon leaves 3B open. (Question: could - gulp - Rafael Devers still play 3B?)

5. For now, the Yankee farms offer no solution. George Lombard Jr. won't take over SS. Carlos Legrange walks too many. We have two outfielders - The Martian and Spencer Jones - and Anthony Volpe. That means trades. That means we are in Cooperstown Cashman's hands, and - I swear it - if he blows it again, if he botches another July 31, we must hit the streets in a violent insurrection and burn the Stadium to the ground. August 1, our new Independence Day!

6. Speaking of Cooperstown, let's hold up. Really now... who here expected Gerrit Cole to be lights-out? We may be witnessing a Hall of Fame-level career elevation. If Cole continues, the Yankees could have baseball's best rotation. This could change everything in the AL East. This is not Colter Bean coming up from Scranton and throwing a few scoreless innings. This is a great pitcher who might have just been granted a second lease on life. This is fucking huge.

7. Here's something that's not fucking huge: Giancarlo is said to be swinging a bat. Whoopie. Will he do better than Paul Goldschmidt? (.863 OPS.) The Yankees need to look at output, not exit velocity. Stanton should stay out until he can all-out sprint to second on a line drive off the wall. Until then, he's a GIDP waiting to happen.

8. Somehow, the Yankees must add a closer. Let's face it: Bednar won't last. One far-flung possibility: Rafael Montero, a 35-year-old former Met/Astro/Ranger, now a Scranton Railrider. He missed spring training because of a VISA issue. (ICE OUT OF TAMPA. NOW!) He's thrown 10 innings at Triple A, been knocked around - 5.91 ERA.) But in 2023, for Houston, guy was a killer. Gotta believe that, if he shows anything, he gets a call.

9. Jazz Chisholm (.724 OPS) must start hitting lefties. If not, he will be platooned. He will not like it - not one bit - and he will not hide the fact that he does not like it, not one bit. At that point, all the talk about how masterful Boone has been - keeping Volpe and Jose Caballero in harmony - will fly out the window. If Chisholm starts hitting, all will be fine. If he doesn't, a time bomb starts ticking. 

10. Here's how the Yankees win it in 2026: Judge and Rice remain the best 1-2 punch in baseball, while Cole and Schlittler become the best 1-2 punch in pitching. Also, we add a closer. In the musical name of Sacramentos - eat my Mentos! - sing loud, people! Let them hear you in Bakersfield! 

The straw that stirs the Metamucil

Reggie is 80! Interviewed on the subject, he instantly flashed geriatric cred, answering the first question by listing everything he has for breakfast: 

MLB.com: You look better than ever. How do you stay fit at age 80?

Reggie Jackson: You give your blessings and your thanks to God. I try to focus on physicality, my health and eating good meals. I usually start off with some fruit and coffee in the morning, a glass of juice, maybe waffles or pancakes with scrambled eggs. I eat some cereal, but I’m careful. There is a lot of sugar. I try to stay away from a lot of sugar, if you will.

 Full interview

 

Aaron Judge's walk-off HR win discombobulated Tampa. So, can the Yankees stay combobulated for a while?

At the end of every day, the deep and magical New York Yankees turn out to be a simple parlor trick - a bobblehead to be tweaked, a chant to be uttered, a set of snakes to be handled. 

And at the heart of every mystery - every streak, hot or cold - you find Mr. Aaron Judge. 

If he's hitting, we thrive. If he's not, we suck.  

Over the last four games - victories - Judge is 5 for 14 with one HR, a walk-off blast that averted a home park sweep by Tampa that would have haunted us the rest of 2026. 

Before that homer, he'd gone 2-for-23 against Tampa, Toronto and the Mets - teams that hate us with the heat of a million suns - with the Yankees losing four of six. 

Long before there were Gammonites, the Murrays and Lardners used to say, "As Mantle goes, so go the Yankees." Nothing was ever truer. Even though he was surrounded by perhaps the greatest lineup in history, Mickey set the tone for every streak, every championship. He embodied the Yankees. 

Well, as Judge goes, so goes this team. Nothing compares to the moment when he steps to the plate, his presence somehow even larger than his frame. When Judge swings and lifts a ball, even if it's a routine fly, time stops and the universe shudders.

We just happened to be alive in the era of Aaron Judge.

Which is why this is the most critical season in our modern lives.  

Listen: There may be no baseball in 2027. The owners and players have fortified their war chests with so much money that neither side will feel the pinch of a labor stoppage. A big, cold darkness is coming. If there is a 2027 season, it might be the size of a walnut. Emerging from it, in 2028, Judge would be 36 and, quite possibly, robbed of his last great year.  

That leaves 2026 as the year for Judge to win a ring. 

If the Yankees fail, they will have squandered the greatest slugger in modern history and leave the Dodgers as baseball's legacy team. 

I cannot stress this enough: Between now and October, the Yankees must address huge holes in their daily lineup, their 26-man roster and, most importantly, their bullpen. They are going to need to trade young players, a Faustian bargain from which is no escape. As Kissinger once said, the key to success with Mephistopheles is getting a good deal. 

Brace yourselves for the trades that are coming. But this needs to be the year Aaron Judge gets a ring. 

One and a half and the A's coming up

 Tampa has lost four in a row. Is the frost on the pumpkin? Is the bloom off the rose? Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

GC back in KC - whoop-dee-doo and whoop-dee-dee - what kinda baseball do y'all think we'll see ?

 

Anthony Volpe is back and heating up. Dare we believe...?

Hello, darkness, our old friend...

Once again, here we go, staring into The Abyss...

Yep. We know it well. A blanket of blackness, breached by one flittering dot, for which we cannot fathom. Fred Nietzche said that when you stare into The Abyss, The Abyss stares back. We see a face, which might be ourselves, or all of humanity, or maybe something else. 

Something, or someone, is staring back. And for Yankee fans, it is Anthony Volpe.  

Once again, we wonder if he has a role in the Yankees' future. 

By now, everyone claims to be done with Volpe. It's been three years. We've seen enough. Trade him for a lug nut. Banish him to Moosic. Don't let him steal another summer. But but BUT... like crackheads unwilling to throw out the pipe, we remain addicted, prisoners of the Yankee hype machine that told us Clint Frasier would hit, and Colter Bean would kill righties. We're still waiting on Volpe - the prodigal son of Jersey - who, for whatever it's worth - is 25, the same age as Spencer Jones.

Last winter, we were done. He hit .212 with 10 HRs. There would be no excuses, no new opportunities. Snake Plisken had a better chance of escaping NY intact. And yet... in October, we were told that Volpe gutted-out the second half with a jammed shoulder that required surgery. Was that the cause of his dismal numbers? 

Two weeks ago, he returned. It roiled the Yankiverse. The fan base demanded that Jose Caballero remain everyday SS, until maybe George Lombard Jr. arrives. Volpe needed to be stuffed into a trade package and sent to the NL West - San Diego or Arizona - far enough to never darken our Abyss, ever again. 

And here we are, telling ourselves THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE LAST TIME we will stare into The Volpe Abyss. So, what happened last night? He homered, collected three hits against KC. Dare we believe?  

Last night, he also made a great play, ranging into left field, snagging a ball and throwing out the lumbering Salvador Perez, who runs like he's competing in an invisible tractor pull. Still, a great play is a great play. Volpe made one. He's hitting .281, close to what he hit in the 2024 world series - gulp (.286).

Ah, remember that? We watched him meltdown on the national stage - a ridiculous throw to 3B in Game 5 against the Dodgers? But he also homered against those Dodgers, ended up tied for the Yankee team lead with 5 RBIs.

Dear God, how long must we do this? We still don't know if Volpe is a future star, a serviceable MLB shortstop or a massive dud. 

But today, he's staring back. Hello, darkness... on behalf of the Yankiverse... WTF?

And just as suddenly...

We win three, they lose three, and bam. Two and half back.

Four in the loss column, though. Still a hill to climb.

I think at this point, it's fair to say that Schlittler is pretty good.

Game Thread – KC √s NYC – Come on Cam - Let's BBQ These Briquettes !

The Yankees' bottom third comes through, and Aaron Judge speaks from the delirium

For the last two months, whenever the bottom third of our lineup approaches, one massive subliminal message beams across the Yankiverse: 

Go to the kitchen and make a sandwich.

Nothing good will happen. You'll miss no rally, no hit, nothing. That said, don't take too long, because a 1-2-3 inning can happen quickly. The side isn't "retired." It's evicted. For two months, the Yankee bottom third has been a running gag, a pit from which nothing emerges, aside from one sound: Swish. 

Yesterday, something happened.

The bottom three went 5 for 9, with Anthony Volpe delivering a two-run, ninth inning single that reversed KC's lead and won the game. So out of touch this was this with the regular season reality, it conjured this ridiculous postgame comment from Aaron Judge, spoken from the tipsy of victory, and annotated here.

"I knew Volpe was gonna get the job done.* He was down two strikes, and you’re going against their closer.** But when he’s right and feeling healthy, man, he puts the ball in play and makes things happen.”***

* Coming to bat, Volpe was hitting .200 - five for 25. In "Late and Close" situations, he was 0-4 on the season.

**Down two strikes, Volpe was 0-for-5 on the year. He had yet to get a hit with RISPs. And facing a closer? Forget it.

*** Volpe had not been putting the ball into play. This season, he has fanned 9 out of 26 times, nearly one out of every three.

But but BUT.. He fuckinay did it. We won. The bottom third came through. 

Listen: It's still a jumbled mess. Caballero deserves to play SS. But yesterday, Volpe delivered. That's how a guy engineers a comeback and saves his career... one hit at a time. Dare we believe? Apparently, the captain does. Is it worth foregoing a sandwich? Not sure. But wouldn't it be nice to think?

Nothing Tastier than Today's Game Thread ! (05–25–26)

GET THOSE SPOONS READY !

Wild Cards and Wakeups: The Yankee human condition, Memorial Day, 2026

One third of the way into the Rizzutonic wormhole - which mysteriously links today's Max Schuemann to a long, long ago Clay Bellinger - here's where the '26 Yankees stand...

1. Sixth best record in baseball.

2. Eight Six behind Tampa in the loss column.

3. Ten losses in last 15 games.

4. Yesterday, they staved off embarrassment at home by beating Tampa for the first time this year.

5. Aaron Judge's walk-off HR hopefully ends his worst slump in this decade. (He is still tied for second in HRs, with Munetaka Murakami, at 17. (Kyle Schwarber has 20.)

6. On a daily basis, the Yanks get nothing from the bottom third of the lineup.

7.  Their bullpen is shaky; no lead is safe.

8. When Max Fried returns, they could have MLB's best starting rotation.

9. Their two main rivals - Mets and Boston - have had terrible springs. (The Mets are 9 below .500; Boston, 8 below.)

10. Ben Rice has saved us. But since hurting his wrist on May 3, he is 11 for 62 (.177). (He does have 5 HRs, though.) 

11. They have three trade chips in Spencer Jones, Jasson Dominguez and Anthony Volpe.

12. Due to the labor dispute, there will probably be no baseball in 2027.

13. Brian Cashman will probably go wild at the Aug 1. trade deadline.

14. In the end, the Dodgers will still win, anyway.

The Game Thread - Pray for More Rain ør REALLY GREAT WEATHERS !

 

Any month now, Giancarlo should return... unless he is a figment of our imagination?

On a rainy day, what essential questions do Yank fans discuss? 

1. Do humans really possess free will, or are our choices, from the first burst of consciousness to the final glimpse of life, predetermined on a cosmic scale?

2. If morality is truly universal, beyond the realms of society and religion, what is the difference between right and wrong?

3. At what point does consciousness begin, and can we trust our senses to identify it, recognizing that our perceptions either affect reality or create it?

4. Will Giancarlo Stanton ever return, or is he a construct of our dwindling, alcoholic awareness?

I'm going with Number 4: 

There is no such thing as Giancarlo Stanton. 

What we believe to be a former National League MVP, a king of exit velo, and the biggest slugger in the history of the Florida Marlins is, in fact, an illusion.

How do I know this? Well, on a strangely common regularity, the concept we know of as "Giancarlo" appears, vanishes and then reappears, launching a new cycle to test our faith. 

Every few months, we see his presence in the lineup and believe - falsely - that our heroes - the elder icon, Aaron Judge, and the newcomer, Ben Rice - are "protected." In fact, they remain naked to fastballs and sweepers, because the ghostly entity of Giancarlo cannot run 10 steps without popping a gonad, bringing disunity and disbelief to the Yankee core. 

The latest Yankee dogma claims that Stanton will soon hit off a tee, and that he might return any week now, without a minor league rehab assignment. In other words, if we wait patiently on our fannies, eventually, our lives will be validated. 

Listen, fools: Stanton is never coming back! Because Stanton does not exist! Our DH is Ben Rice, which really sucks, because he should be playing 1B, and everybody knows it.  But as long as Goldy plays a solid defense, it's Rice at DH, and don't waste your time waiting for Stanton. If he ever does return, he'll just get hurt again. For God's sake, people, open your eyes. Soylent Green is people, TJ Rumfield is hitting .289 for the Rockies, and we're still living in a make-believe world of Jake Bird, or is it Greg Bird? Dunno. But rain outs drive you crazy, eh? 

Rainout Theater – Double Feature !

Rainout Theater

Ballgame rained out. Yankees rain. Thuhhhh Yankees rain.

 To be played in late September, when everything is clinched.

Thuuuuuuuhhhh Yankees Win! (The real game.)

 

Break out the champagne—which I'm sure they did back in Hal's mysterious, executive suite/panic room, deep in the bowels of the Stadium. The Yanks just passed a major milestone.

What did you think you saw last night? Yet another in a seemingly endless string of lifeless, badly played, incredibly boring games by a Yankees team that can't hit, can't field, can't run, and can't find a relief pitcher to save our viewing lives?

Nah! 

You're not looking at the long game, the real game. The game that all of our corporate masters are playing with us right now. 

You think the Nerd Reich out in Silicon Valley really gives a damn about Iran? Suckers! No, they're working on their big projects: converting all the money to their favorite crypto currencies, sealing off their favorite islands, preparing for the coup.

All Hal & Pal want is their own little corner in their own little room of that magnificent dystopia spreading out before us. 

And thanks to us, they got it.

To them—and to that other, bizarre, two-headed minion, the RanTrost—the New York Yankees are an old-fashioned cash machine (and the brand name up top tells you what kind it is). 

Last night, the Yankees once again broke the one-million mark in attendance. 1,009,904 fans, to be exact—in just 25 games. That's over 40,000 a game, despite the wretched weather that makes our boys look like lost little schoolboys down on the field.

Over a million fans by May 22nd. 

Considering the average price of an NYY ticket (and I don't know if this is counting in luxury boxes), we're talking $106,039,920 ALREADY. 

More than one-third of their oh-so-onerous payroll covered. By the end of May.

And that's not even counting all the overpriced rat dogs, souvenirs, and parking the suckers shell out for. It's not counting broadcast rights, or souvenirs bought away from the park. Or the ads that Hal let them stick on the pinstripes. Or the ones that rotate constantly on the incredibly dangerous signs in the outfield.

(But hey, that one already paid off double. It provided another of the injuries which will help Pal pretend next year that the 2026 Yanks just got unlucky with injuries, and all we have to do is run it—) 

Oh, I know, I know. There are expenses. Unlike the rest of us here in New York, Hal and the Yankees have to pay some taxes. Which Hal doesn't let us forget.

Sure, it's kind of the equivalent of complaining about taxes when the states has built you two, magnificent homes to live in. But never mind. 

The big win here is that the struggling heirs of George Steinbrenner will be set for the next nine or ten or twenty generations.

Meanwhile, the game on the field gets worse and worse, the effort expended by our heroes is more and more diminished, and the MLB game itself gets worse and worse.

Can't wait for the labor battle that blows it all up next year.

 

Memorial Day weekend seems rather early to be chasing a wild card, but here we are

Okay, it's not the loss. In a jolly-good season, the Yanks will lose 60. The key is getting up, dusting off, plodding onward, singing the finale - "willing to march into Hell for a heaven cause!" - doing the Rudyard Kipling thing. It's never the loss. It's how they lost. And the why. It's always the how and the why... 

1. They can't hit. We love Ben Rice, but at day's end, the '26 Yankees are Aaron Judge's after-wind, and when ol' No. 99 falls into a well - and he is in a deep and scary one - Lassie can't go fetch help. It doesn't matter who's pitching, an ace or waiver pickup. Without Judge hitting, we become bowling pins. 

2. The bottom third of the batting order is dead. Last night, Austin Wells homered. Great. It would be nice to believe his next HR will come before July. But what are the odds? Ryan McMahon went hitless. Again. More and move, he lookslike one of the Yankee lost Twilighters - Lance Berkman, Vernon Wells, Josh Donaldson, et al - (i.e. Paul Goldschmidt?) - former all-stars who botch their comeback attempts in NYC.  

3. The bullpen is mimicking the Jets and Giants NFL template: We play a scoreless first half, then give up 30. Is Aaron Boone secretly using the Prevent defense? Last night, no matter how well Cole pitched, you couldn't ignore the looming 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th? No lead is safe. Ever. 

4. The defense collapsed. Jose Cabellero botched a grounder, opening the 8th. Then Tim Hill flubbed a bases-loaded comebacker that could have been a DP. You don't get mulligans against Tampa. Also, Cabellero's error might create a situation at shortstop. Cabbie deserves to play, but after last night - he also got thrown out stealing, again - we'll probably see more Anthony Volpe. Is that a good thing?  

5. The Yankees squandered Cole's great night. You know what he's thinking today: Six innings won't cut it; he's gotta go eight. That's how a 35-year-old goes back on the IL. 

Down by seven in the loss column. The "Wild Carders" are back.

Game Thread – 05–22–26 – WELCOME BACK COLE !

 

Tampa, welcome to the Bronx!

 

                            Make your reservations now!

Coney: "This is one you just wanna flush."

Last night, after the final nail was driven, David Cone - who has become such a Yankee icon that his wife could be named "Cora" - astutely addressed the team's existential condition. 

He compared the 2-0 loss to hateful Toronto - the Yanks' 9th loss in 13 games - to debris swirling in the well of a porcelain bowl. 

Shakespeare couldn't have topped it, though William S. Burroughs might have taken a swing.

For the third time in two weeks, Yank bats turned as limp as Wally Cox - scoreless for nine, four of which were pitched by a Rule 5 roster-holder. In the cold month of May, the Yankees graciously allowed their grapefruit league cousins - miserable, always angry Tampa - to take over the AL East and - worse - opened the door for Boston and Toronto to save what once loomed as lost seasons. It's another Wild Card year, and the Yankees are now equidistant - six in the loss column - to Tampa above - and Toronto/Boston below. 

This weekend, the Rays could set off a seven-alarm fire: 

1. Tonight, with Gerrit Cole returning, we have no way of knowing what's in the box of chocolates. But it's hard to imagine Cole throwing more than 80 pitches, which leaves us in that familiar 6th inning bullpen quagmire. We better score nine. 

2. As Aaron Judge keeps flailing, we keep telling ourselves, it's just a short-term slump; he'll pull out of it. And he will. Honestly. It's just a short-term slump. No need to keep chanting that it's just a short-term slump. Everybody knows it. He'll pull out. Short-term slump. Nothing more to say. Really. Short-term slump. Go away! 

3. Like the Yankees, Tampa last winter stood pat and chased no new free agents. So, why are they six games up? Well, unlike the Yankees, the Rays didn't trade away a wave of prospects last August for Jake Bird, Camilo Doval, Ryan McMahon, David Bednar, et al. 

4. Of course, Yank fans can tell themselves that - come July 31 - the front office will solve our problems by trading that next wave of youth for - um - somebody to replace Doval? 

5. Once again, the brain trust must decide on the fate of Anthony Volpe. In his recent return, he hasn't looked bad. So, back to Scranton? Stick as a utility infielder? Either way, let's hope Jose Caballero doesn't suffer a back-from-injury slump. 

6. It's scary to imagine where the Yankees would be without Ben Rice and Cam Schlittler. With the emerging flat-line failures of McMahon, Austin Wells, Jazz Chisholm and Trent Grisham, without Schlit and Rice, we'd be looking up at Boston. That's a dangerous place to be. It's a long season.

7. For the first two months of 2026, the YES team has generally celebrated Yankee management - aka their bosses - for their prudent winter strategy. This weekend, if things continue to go sideways, I wonder: Will our sporting version of Fox News start asking tougher questions? And if so, will they hone-in on Cooperstown Cashman rather than Boonie? 

The Yankees really need this series. If it turns out to be another flusher, better bring the plunger.

THIS SPACE FOR RENT

No Jones, no Martian, no Grisham. Who's going to play the outfield?

If they put Cab in the outfield, this team's management is more than pathetic. It's...whatever is worse than pathetic.

And Y-Cruz is gone already? Really? And Doval isn't just cut and thrown into the Harlem River?

Via Keefe: "Yovanny Cruz made his major-league debut and was electric. Cruz went six-up, six-down with three strikeouts against the Blue Jays’ 4-through-9 hitters. He reached triple digits several times. Is it too early to make Cruz the closer? In that one outing he showed more ability than just about every reliever on the team."

So this all means that we need Volpe and Caballero and Rosario--all three at once? What?

Oh, and because, you know, it's Wells, I can't let Wednesday's bunt fuckup go. Just as Volpe fucked up the grounder that Schuemann had already caught, ending the extra inning game.

Again, via Keefe: "...when the play unfolded, Austin Wells also tried to field the bunt and no outs were recorded. At some point Wells is going to add positive value to the team, right?"

No. Seems like a nice young man, but sadly, he is not good. Also sadly, he doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.