Last night, it didn't take long to recognize the sad, fate of Kansas City. By the third quarter, everyone knew that...
a) At long last, Taylor Swift picked the wrong horse.
b) Jake from State Farm wouldn't save Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes.
c) Tom Brady is a blathering, nattering idiot.
d) For MAGA America, the half-time show was incomprehensible.
e) The Mannings have finally achieved full market saturation.
f) Lady Gaga could become the Ethel Merman of her generation.
g) Philly pole-climbers were heading to Broad Street.
The moral of this year's Super Bowl: Don't finish second.
Three months ago, the Yankees learned this ugly truth. Their Game 5 Inning 5 meltdown remains a stain on the franchise, so traumatic, so embarrassing, that it threatens the legacy of the two greatest Yankees of this generation, Aaron Judge and Gerrit Cole. The Yankees finished second. You'd think we would be proud. Instead, they've been a punch line.
Two months ago, it happened again. The Yankees finished runner-up in the bidding war over Juan Soto, a betrayal of their historical identity that will haunt them for a generation. They enter 2025 as NYC's second team. In the short term, maybe Cody Bellinger and Paul Goldschmidt can save face. But over the years, as Soto hits his way into the Hall of Fame, he'll always be the star who got away. And the Yankees will always be the team that couldn't afford him.
And, of course, the Democrats finished second in the battle for America's soul. They now stand, neutered, comically chanting slogans with Chuck Schumer, which is like watching Englebert Humperdinck cover the songs of Tom Jones. For Blue State boomers, it's been a long hard slog, from Meat Loaf to Jelly Roll, but the lesson's been learned.
Don't finish second. Not in baseball. Not in football. Not in America.
Within days - hours, actually - pitchers and catchers report. The world will begin anew. And here's the thing:
The more you look at the 2025 Yankees, the more they look like a team built to finish second.