Dear Captain Judge: You are about to make history. Don't let them turn you into a prop.

O Captain, our Captain...

It will soon get crazy. And tumultuous. And, maybe, dangerous.

Your name. Your image. Your legacy, that is. 

The World Baseball Classic is about to replace what should be two weeks of lollygagged, easy-going afternoons with some of the pressurized games in our time.

The series will pit nations against each other, as the world surges toward war. 

As captain of Team USA, you will be scrutinized, sanctified and maybe defined for years to come by malignant forces that seek to turn ballgames into political points. 

Your job is to win those games, not to prop up a leader, or resistance to one.

Your job is to unify a team, not rouse the nation to the right or left.

Your mission is to win the tournament, not to let yourself or your teammates be used as a prop.

None of this will be easy. America always demands a winner, and baseball will always be the national game. In this tourney, there shall be no wild card, no finishing 2nd - and no quick returning to normal. 

When it's over, if you fail, there will be no excuses, no silver medals, no reward for having played the game. 

And if you prevail, there will come a moment when you are expected to pose for pictures, for photographs that might just define your place in history. 

Your time in the hot seat is coming. I know you will represent the Yankees with pride. I know you will represent America with dignity. 

But please... whatever happens... don't let them use you. 

Box Scores of the Vanities: Takeaways, take me away!

 Yanks now 8-2 on the meaningless preseason, leading the meaningless Grapefruit league, generating meaningless takeaways from meaningless box scores...

1. Yesterday, the Martian went 0-3: a K, a grounder to SS, and an infield pop. Gotta wonder if it's time for the funk that validates the looming front office decision to file him away in the Dunder Mifflin bureau.

2. All five Yank runs were generated by fringe, non-roster, no-names: Ellis (age 28) Martinez (26) Brown (33), Palma (24) Fernandez (23.) Nice for nobodies to get a chance. But lineup is toothless.

3. Wait. Let's talk about Yanquiel Fernandez, who doubled to center and drove in a run. He's a former bigly hyped Rockies OF - 6'2" and 200 lbs, from Cuba - reincarnated as a second-chance nothing burger. The Yankees got him two weeks ago with a microscopic waiver wire move. He supposedly has tape measure power and a cannon for an arm. He doubled off somebody named Zach Pop, who was knocked around by the bottom of the Yankee lineup. Still, Fernanez is sorta interesting. On the spring, he's 2 for 9, (.222.) He could comprise an OF of the Lost in Scranton - with Dominguez and Spencer Jones.

4. Ooh, ooh, jumpin' Jehovastaht! I mentioned Spencer Jones.  He didn't play. 

5. Yankees gushing over Will Warren, who pitched into the 4th with one hit, and who struck out the side in the 1st. They say he's pitching from a different side of the rubber. Hence, the biggest trope of spring baseball: A player's new adjustment has made him a star. 

6. Write this down: The only thing less meaningful than the box score is the drivel of the postgame interview. 

7. More kudos from the front office to, well, itself: Yankees were brilliant to draft Ben Hess, who thus far hasn't done much. Yesterday, he pitched two scoreless innings. Yanks would have us believe the farm system is vastly underassessed due to the bounty crop of young pitchers. Trouble is, every team in baseball has blazing young arms. Have you looked at the Mets? Jays? Redsocks? Yikes.

8. Cade Winquest, the all-or-nothing Rule 5 pick, got whacked. He went 2/3rds of an inning, gave up a HR off - um - Bryson Stott? He either makes the team out of camp, or he goes back to St. Louis.

9. Lineups are starting to show movement of players to the World Baseball Classic. 

10. With Aaron Judge as captain, Yank fans will be the most patriotic rooters in baseball. But but BUT... there is danger here. What if Trump politicizes the thing? (Why am I asking this? Of course he will.) Could the Yankees get caught in it? (Of course they will.)

A modest proposal (written with the remainders of a hangover)

I finally got around to reading what Hoss had to say about the list of retired numbers, and while I continue to disagree about some of them, I think the discussion is maybe what "retiring a number" signifies.

To me, it's Mick and Joe and Lou and Yogi and the Babe and a couple of others.

You know, the giants. The men who came to define "Yankee-ness" over the course of many years in pinstripes. 

That leaves out a lot of people, and it always has. Ruth, Gehrig, Dickey...there was nobody else on those teams whose number was retired. But I bet there were players who did something memorable or great but maybe weren't consistently great. Or had injuries that cut their greatness short, or were only with the team for a relatively short period of time, or...well, take your pick.

Those are the kind of guys I say shouldn't have their number retired. Stengel, yes. Torre, no. Whitey, but not Guidry. Dickey but not Thurm. DiMag, but not Donnie. Mariano but not Sparky or someone.

They don't deserve to be forgotten. But maybe we can come up with some other honor besides retiring their numbers, which I still think should be reserved for the very, very few. 

Maybe there's a Yankees Wall of Honor or something for notable but not "giant" Yankees. Maybe mini-plaques. There's a little ceremony, gifts, mementos. A day to let the player know he is remembered and appreciated.

As it stands now, there are too many retired numbers for it to mean what it used to mean. And there are too many guys in the Hall of Fame, too.

At some point, at this rate, neither will mean much of anything.

The mystery box in the box score: Yesterday's takeaways

We are at war. But life goes on.

Takeaways from yesterday.

1. Nick Torres, the '25 Mexican League MVP, didn't exactly break down any fences. He botched a pop fly that let Toronto's only run score. And in the 8th, ahead 3-0 in the count, he crushed a belt-high meatball, right over the plate - for a routine grounder to SS. Meh-ico. 

2. Cody Bellinger has a bad back. He'll miss a few. The Death Barge is pooh-poohing it, as they always do. The old lumbago. Nothing to worry about. 

Listen: There is no such thing as a "minor" bad back. Nothing ages an athlete more rapidly. Moreover, I don't recall it being mentioned last year.  

3. Yesterday, Paul Blackburn became the first Yank pitcher to last into the  fourth inning. But he was damn lucky to make it. He gave up two singles, putting runners on first and third with one out, then was lucky when a line drive turned into a double play.  

4. Spencer Jones finally put the bat on the ball, without homering. He flied out to CF and then hit a grounder to SS that was botched on the throw to first. Jones ended up on second, and a run scored. This is why you don't want 200 strikeouts from a hitter. When you put the ball into play, strange things happen. Jones is 3-for-10 this spring with two HRs and four Ks. (The Martian yesteday didn't play.)

5. Mr. Potato Chip, Giancarlo Stanton, expects to appear in his first spring game on Tuesday. Distressing news over the weekend: Stanton says that, on bad days, his tennis elbows are so bad that he cannot open a bag of chips. If so, I wonder what the Yankees, realistically, can expect from him. He has 463 career HRs. Doesn't look good for 500. 

Spencer Jones and the Martian are wreaking hell upon hope

All right, everybody... let's indulge ourselves for one spectacular moment.

What if... WHAT IF... Spencer Jones and Jasson Dominguez just keep hitting? 

I mean, what if they go on monstrous spring tears, as they have done thus far. What happens then? Huh? WHAT THEN? 

Right now, Jones is tied for the Grapefruit League HR lead - (Fun fact: He's tied with T.J. Rumfeld, whom our front office recently traded for Angel Chivilli, and the forever Yankee-cursed Mike Yastrzemski.) Jones has three HRs in four games, with four strikeouts and two walks. He's 3 for 8, hitting .375.

Then there is the Martian, who went 3 for 3 yesterday, lifting his batting average to .417 in the tiny sample size.

Okay... we know this won't last. It's freakin' February. They've barely played a week. They're facing the dregs of MLB pitchers, and none of this matters. There is no reason to clutch the lucky washcloth and get hopeful, because nothing matters, and even if it did, this won't last.

But but BUT... what if it does? What if the pair, having put in their times at Triple A, having reached the zenith of their youth, are simply ready for prime time? Huh? 

What if they keep hitting? Huh? Huh? HUH?

Well, I'll tell you... 

If the Martian and Mr. Jones go on wild hot streaks, it will simply amplify their demoralization and depressions, when their bus arrives March 23 in the Scranton Greyhound station, and they unload their napsack, full of their moms' clippings from THE GRIT, and hitchhike to the two-room hovel they rented in Wilkes Barre - all because the Mother Ship Yankees are stuck in a time-and- space detention center, like the one to soon spring up outside your town. It won't matter that they proved themselves. They will be exiled to central Pennsylvania so the Yankees can keep Randal Grichuk or whatever new veteran pops up on the waiver wire over the next three weeks. 

They are the saddest prospects in baseball - youngsters who prove themselves, only to be discarded by a franchise that makes no place for them. And whatever excitement they generate this spring, it will merely make their absence, come April, harder to ignore. 

The Yankees are the same team as last year. How thrilling.

The Last Word! For now, anyway.

 

All right, all right, all right.

This discussion over which Yankees should have their numbers retired has rolled on through one post and comments section after another.  

Time to put my thoughts together on this. And if I repeat myself...well, as the poet wrote, "I am large/ I blather on."

Also, I realized I finished my last remarks on this without getting to the esteemed gentleman to the left.  

We are, I think, all agree on the core immortals. To deal with the controversies:

1—Billy Martin. Absolutely NO. It's sad that no one got him help. But the man was a psychotic drunk, who ruined pitchers as routinely as most of us crunch potato chips. I try to pretend that that No. 1 out there is for Bobby Murcer, a beloved Yankee who died too soon, or the first man to wear the number for the Bombers, HOF centerfielder Earle Combs, a lifetime, .325 hitter and member of the great, 1927 Murderers' Row team.

2-5—Jeter, Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio. YES. If you have a problem with these...you have wandered onto this website by accident.

6—Joe Torre. YES. Sorry, gotta disagree with JM. No, he was never a great field manager. But he was an amazing clubhouse/press/George manager at a time when that was needed to keep the team from dissolving into madness.

7-8(8)—The Mick. Plus CATCHERS.  YES and YES (YES). And the number so nice, they retired it twice.  Once for Yogi, probably the best pitcher in the history of the game, and again for Bill Dickey, who was probably in the top three, and who tutored both Yogi and Elston Howard. Counting Dickey's cup of coffee with the 1928 team, he was on 9 pennant winners and 8 world champions.

9—Roger Maris.  YES. Is he here mostly out of guilt? Yes—and what's wrong with that? The guy pulled off an amazing feat, for which he was booed and harassed. Then Ralph Houk ran him out of town because the Yanks' typically incompetent doc read his x-rays wrong, and Houk became convinced that Rajah was faking a broken hand. (And we got rid of Casey Stengel so we could keep that yutz at the helm? Oy.)

10—Phil Rizzuto.  YES. One of the greatest fielding shortstops, with a 22.9 defensive WAR in just 12 1/2 seasons. A decent hitter with little power, but an expert bunter who stole 149 bases at a 72 % rate. Despite missing 3 prime years because of WW II, he was on 10 pennant winners and 8 world champions, and won an MVP in 1950. 

What's more, The Scooter was a beloved team icon, with his long broadcasting career. Why, it could be said that he even made his commentating into a sort of...poetry.

13—Alex Rodriguez.  NO. Someone proposed him for the future, but I say no. True, he helped bring us the last title of our lifetimes. And no, he wasn't the only one juicing, but he did, and he was a constant source of controversy and distraction.  

Also...WAS he the Yanks' greatest right-handed hitter ever? I say no to that, too. In his 12 seasons in NY, he was a .283/.378/.523/.900 hitter, with 351 home runs, and 152 stolen bases. He also deserved several Gold Gloves he never got. And granted, we didn't get his 10 earliest—and many of his best—years in Seattle and Texas. (Lifetime figures: .295/.380/.550/.930)

But Joe, Joe DiMaggio was not only a lifetime .325/.398/.579/.977 with 361 home runs (and only 369 strikeouts), playing in the much more lopsided, O.G. Yankee Stadium. Lifetime, on the road, he had 213 homers, and went .334/.406/.611/1.016. He was also maybe the third greatest centerfielder, ever, and a very good runner, in a time when they didn't run. 

AND...he not only missed 3 years thanks to the war, but had to put in 3 years in the PCL, then almost a major-league. In 1933, just 18, he hit .340 there and set the league consecutive-game-hit record. Still, before he was done, he was on 10 pennant winners and 9 world champions.

Joe D., yes. A-Rod, no.  (And then, of course, there's that Judge guy...)

15—Thurman Munson. YES. Another victim of the Yanks' righty-penalizing Stadium. A GREAT fielding catcher—still surpassing the league pct. of runners thrown out even after some bad arm injuries—and a terrific clutch hitter, who became the first player in something like 30 years to hit over .300 and drive in over a hundred runs three straight seasons. The 1976 MVP, his lifetime stats in 30 postseason games were .357/.378/.496/.874. 

16—Whitey Ford. YES. Until Clay Kershaw retired, he had THE lowest, lifetime ERA of any starting pitcher after the deadball era (2.75). It was even lower (2.71) as he rung up his record 10 wins—and a record scoreless inning streak—in the World Series. Won 1 Cy Young, and would've won 2, if they had been split by league then. Despite losing two years to military service, he went 236-106, and his winning pct. of .690 was even higher than his team's.

20, 21, 46, 51—Jorge, Paulie O'Neill, Pettitte, Bernie. The '90s "support crew." I say YES on all of them.

Jorge would be in the HOF if I-Rod hadn't been a juicer, the best catcher in the AL for at least 10 years. O'Neill was the fighting heart of the club, not only a great clutch hitter but the man who made that outfield grab to beat the Braves, 1-0. Bernie was near-HOF caliber; four-time Gold Glove winner, four-tool ballplayer who often suffered from what we thought he could be. 

Pettitte...256 wins, and another 19 in the postseason, including 5 in the World Series. Could've run up even more for if noodnik Cashman hadn't let him walk to Houston for 3 years, and take another one off. What sticks in the craw somewhat is the juicing. But he was a damned clutch pitcher even before that started.

23—Don Mattingly.  YES. A terrific player, whose career was cut short by injury. RBI, BA, and OPS titles in three different years. Nine Gold Gloves. Just could not hang on long enough.

32—Elston Howard.  YES. First Black Yankee (Aside from the Black Yankees.) First Black AL MVP. Two Gold Gloves. Didn't make the team until he was 26 (hmm, wonder why...), and spent years backing up Yogi behind the plate, playing left field without a word of complaint. One of only 6 men to play in 10 or more World Series.

37—Casey Stengel.  YES. An NYC icon. Won a record 10 pennants and a record-tying 7 world championships with the Yankees—and if not for injuries to Mantle in 1955 and 1957, the Braves cheating in 1957, and a terrible field in 1960, might have gone 10-10. A hugely skilled field manager—and beloved character. Unlike Joe McCarthy, he managed in a time when much of the AL had almost caught up to the Yanks in terms of personnel. He was the team's winning edge.

42—Mariano Rivera.  YES. Get serious.

44—Reggie Jackson.  YES. Yes, he created plenty of his own problems. And many more were created by his insane manager, and nearly insane owner. Amazing clutch player. From the 1977 World Series through the 1978 World Series, he had 9 home runs in 12 games, and ran up series OPSes of 1.792, 1.529, 1.196. Yanks would've won the 1981 World Series if Mad George hadn't ordered him sat for 3 of the 6 games.

49—Rod Guidry.  YES. It was not just the amazing, 1978 season. He had two ERA titles, three, 20-win seasons, and would've had four and won two straight Cy Youngs if he had not volunteered to go to the bullpen in 1979, after Gossage got hurt. Record of 5-2, 3.02 in October, and would've been 6-1 and under 3.00 if Lemon had simply pulled him in time in 1981. He gutted out the 1978 playoff in Boston on short rest, without a word of complaint.  And...he took care of Yogi when he was old.

52—CC.  No. Love the guy. Didn't love that he didn't feel any obligation to get fit or get sober until after he finished pitching for us. But hey, it doesn't kill me that he'll be up there. Be well, CC.

Looking for meaning in a meaningless box score: 10 takeaways

 1. Spencer Jones hit another one. In seven plate appearances this spring, he is:

HR. K. K. BB. K. K. HR. 

At this pace - (with, say, 55 ABs) - he'd finish spring training with 16 HRs and 32 Ks. Joey Gallo lives.

2. Jazz and Goldy also homered. The Yankees scored four of their seven runs via the long ball. Yep, it's last year's team, all right.

3. Looking at the number of Yankees headed to the World Baseball Classic, who does not fear the looming injuries? It's almost as if we'll experience a "before" and "after" spring.

4. Yesterday's Yankee offensive explosion dims when you notice who was pitching: Carlos Carrasco, chasing yet another comeback.

5. Another ex-Yank, Ben Gamel, homered for Atlanta. Once upon a time, he was the International League MVP. Those were the days.

6. Today's controversy - an A.I. doctored video, forwarded by the White House, shows (falsely) a U.S. hockey player mocking Canada. It's an ugly side of what's to come. 

7. Yankees keep up the happy talk about Giancarlo Stanton, but the poor guy says he can't even open a bag of chips, so sore are his elbows. If a man cannot open a bag of chips - assuming he does not have access to cans of Pringle's - how can he live a meaningful life? 

8. Cam Schlittler faced five batters yesterday, his first test since being held back two weeks ago. The Yankees are gushing happy talk. But it's the next few days, when he might experience pain, that matter. 

9. Oswaldo might get into a game late next week. He's still recovering from that catastrophic broken ankle. Some images you can never forget. The surreal bend of that foot is one.

10. Jasson Dominguez didn't play yesterday. With the Yankees signing OF Randal Grichuk, the Martian is almost a certainty to start the year in Scranton. I wonder where his head is at. It can't be good.

Dumpster Diving Diva – UPDATE

 

Hey - I don't normally post things twice in one day but in this case I just had to.

I decided to call that number on the sign: 

(555) 666-7777

to see what would happen.  

It connected through to an open line where I swear that I could hear HAL and PAL 

making the kinds noises that one would only hear in their worst nightmares.

After listening in for about five minutes I yelled, 

"THAT'S REPULSIVE AND DISGUSTING!"

into the uh, like you know . . . the telephone's mouthpiece

and suddenly all the sound stopped.  

After a second or two of silence they both broke out into this weird

burst of screechy giggling. 

That was it.  

I hung up.

My advise to everyone out there is whatever you do . . .

DO NOT CALL THAT NUMBER !

Thanks and have a pleasant Thursday evening.

The Yankees should start retiring letters of the alphabet

 That's it. That's all I gots ta say.

Enough Already!

JM just wrote with displeasure about CC Sabathia getting his number retired and while I didn't agree with all his conclusions about the players on the list of retired numbers, he is 100% correct that the retiring of numbers is totally out of hand and has become so prevalent as to render it meaningless. 

It's all about marketing now. 

They should just do more bobbleheads. The springs on them don't work anyway so how about little statues? They could do it like the ones of the Legion of Super Heroes at the Superman Museum. If Bouncing Boy can get one so can CC Sabathia but he shouldn't have his number retired. 

That said, I respect CC. I do. Mostly because of this... 

He was just shy of a half million dollar inning bonus and got tossed from the game. As it turns out the Yankees gave it to him anyway but major props for being a great teammate! 

At other times not so much... 

An inability to control weight and alcohol consumption led to five sub par seasons and one big no show. His overall career is Hall of Fame worthy. His time as a Yankee... Nah.  

Which takes me back to who should have their numbers retired based on what they did as YANKEES. Here is the list again. (Thanks JM).

I'm good with 1-10 except Maris. Six years with the club two VERY GOOD years one of which is legendary. Those Yankees were a machine and he was a key cog but they would have done well with out him. 

The opposite is true for Thurm. JM was iffy on Munson. I say yes because even though he also had only a couple of really good years he was the heart and soul of the Yankees and the return to being champions after a long long drought. Pivotal player. True Yankee legend.   

Jorge and Paulie?  I don't know. Maybe because my fandom extends over 60 years. If I was born in 1980 they would be a yes. Key players in a great era but you will notice that a lot of key players from the 20's and the 30's do not have their numbers retired so this smells like marketing to me.  

More Karate Kid and Mad Eater Lad than Cosmic Boy and Lightning Lad. if you know what I mean.  

JM said no to Mattingly. I totally disagree . Donnie Baseball? Give it to him. 

Reggie? Hall of Fame YES! Retired number? No. In his picture on the Baseball Reference page he is wearing an A's cap. 

Andy and  Ron...  Well why should Whitey be the only starter but... ah what the hell. Sure. They were great Yankee pitchers. At least they won titles. 

I'd give it to Bernie only because he got jobbed out of being Core Four because nothing cool rhymed with five.  

Mariano is a no doubter. Which leaves CC...

No.  Unlike all, and I do mean all, of the above, well except Donnie :(, when I think of CC I don't think about how good he was and the championship. I think of all of the disappointment.  He deserves the Hall of Fame based on his entire body of work but not his number retired as a Yankee. 

When men were men, and box scores were box scores

 

Cashman continues to be our Dumpster Diving Diva !

A wee bit of Bitty / Above Average Collaboration

With the signing of Randal Grichuk, the Yankees bring an official end to the Jasson Dominguez era

Open the Canyon of Heroes. Call out Mayor Mam! Rejoice! 

For six years, we've awaited the arrival of Jasson Dominguez, The Martian, the future star who would usher in a golden Yankee era, led by the greatest outfield in baseball. And today, we have an outcome:

Randal Grichuk.

 The Yankees are said to be signing the 34-year-old OF/DH - entering his 13th season, after he hit .228 last year. 

He'll platoon as a righty bat, likely replacing Trent Grisham against tough lefties, while Clay Bellinger plays center.

The Yankee brain trust - carefully avoiding big ticket stars - will spice last year's returning lineup with platoons at 1B, 3B, LF and CF. (Strangely, they still only employ LH catchers. and RH shortstops. Roster moves ahead?)

For Yank fans, the news of landing Grichuk brings the realization that Brian Cashman was not blowing smoke last week, when he suggested that Jasson Dominguez will start the year at Scranton. The addition of Grichuk means the Martian might just finish the year there, too. (Or more likely, he will be traded.)

At least through April, or until key Yankees fall to injuries, the Scranton outfield should look quite intriguing: Dominguez in LF, the much-hyped slugger Spencer Jones in CF, and the 23-year-old, scrap heap pickup, Yanquiel Fernandez in RF, (who two years ago was Colorado's big-hyped version of The Martian.) 

I don't mean to mock Grichuk, a serviceable MLB outfielder in this millennium. But for six years, Yank fans have been encouraged to follow Dominguez, and last season, he didn't look that terrible. He's fast. He can steal bases. He's only 22. And now... Randal Grichuk?

Somehow, I cannot escape the sense that these minor pickups, these existential scrap yard acquisitions, are the product of A.I. Using computer models, the Yankees plan to nickel-and-dime their way to the AL wild card, and then get lucky in the playoffs. It's a cynical strategy, and it robs us of one of the great joys of rooting for a team: Watching youngsters grow. 

With Dominguez, maybe it was always just hype. Maybe we're better off dealing with it now. But The Martian is going to leave soon, and he probably won't come back. 

And we have Randal Grichuk. 

Fuck, let's just retire all the numbers

I guess, perhaps unfairly, I remember CC's failings more than his heroics since they happened more recently. Kind of the same way I remember David Wells for being a hard-drinking, overweight guy who wrecked his back and couldn't pitch when we really needed him to.

Yes, I can be a real dick sometimes.

CC was really good with flashes of total dominance during his 11 years in pinstripes. His record was 134-88, with 1700 strikeouts and a 3.81 ERA. Swell. I'm impressed. I get it.

Maybe the number of numbers that have been retired have just soured me on the whole idea. Too. Many. Numbers. Simple as that. It's just not so special anymore. Ruth, Mantle, Berra, DiMag...no arguing those. But let's look at the full list of retired numerals.

Right off the bat (nyuk nyuk), no Billy Martin. No way. Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle, Berra, all yes. I wouldn't put Torre up there. Sorry, I still think he was the luckiest man in baseball.

Maris? No. Too short a stay, though momentous in '61. Rizzuto? I'm torn. No Munson. A tragic end, but no.

Like the Hall of Fame, retired numbers should be for giants of the game. Not guys who were just really good, or were Yankees for one stop along their careers.

I take away O'Neill, Posada, and sadly, Mattingly. Another sad story, not a giant.

Rivera, yes, definitely, and he and maybe (maybe) Jeter should be the lone reps from those late-'90s teams.

Petitte? Borderline. Reggie? One stop along his way, but one momentous, giant-like achievement while here.

Not Bernie. Probably Stengel, though I could be talked out of it. He worked with amazing rosters where it was hard to go wrong (shades of Torre).

Whitey? Sure. Gator? Maybe not. Ellie? Same.

At this point, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure where the bar is for this honor. The list as it stands is really confusing, at least for me.

Maybe we should just start putting letters on the uniforms. A, B, C. When we run out, just duplicate them, like AA, BB. Maybe A1, the stake sauce number, A2, and so on. When we get to V2, maybe we should skip that one.

If we put every guy whoever won a warm spot in our hearts while they were with the Yanks, then everyone there can stay, and I also nominate Rocky Colavito, Nick Swisher, Steve Hamilton, Lindey McDaniel, Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich (as a pair), and Kevin Maas.

Okay, maybe not Maas.

The state of the Yankees is all about Will Warren being Will Warren.

Come back, O' meaningfulness of spring...

We long for box scores that tell us what the hell happened and, maybe, what the hell is coming...

What we see is the form-fitting black box known as Will Warren.

Yesterday, he pitched into the third, gave up a run, fanned four. By most respects, a typical Will Warren impersonation of Will Warren, reading from the book of Will Warren - (abridged, of course) - with an introduction by Will Warren.

Not bad. Not great. Vintage Will Warren. 

Here's what happened...

First Inning: Strikeout. Triple. Single (run scores.) Line out. Strikeout.

Second inning: Single. Infield hit. Fly out. Strikeout. Fly out.

Third Inning: Fly out. Strikeout.  

And Boone brings the hook.

Overall, a descent Will Warren outing. In fact, if you're following Will Warren, you gotta at least give the guy the second meaningless batter of the first meaningless inning of the first meaningless exhibition game of 2026. 

If Will Warren can be the Yankees' fifth starter, devouring the innings that a fifth starter needs to consume, he could reduce the pressure on Luis Gil and Cam Schlittler, who is already missing time. He won't become an ace. He won't become a liability. 

And that, comrades, is what Will Warren does.

Last year, he threw 162 innings, went 9-8 with an ERA of 4.44. Meh, you say.

He's 26, which is young for anybody from Branson, Missouri. 

Among starters, Warren is an old-school outlier. He pitched four years in college. (Most hot prospects jump after their junior years, when they have more contractual leverage.) Then he pitched three seasons in the Yankee minor leagues, level by level, slog by slog, slowly making his way to NYC. 

If he can improve in 2026 - that is, if Will Warren can be Will Warren - the Yankee rotation can survive until Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rondon and that 6'7" rookie who throws 103 mph can come around. 

We talk about the rookies and the role players. Will Warren is entering his arbitration year. He needs to be Will Warren. 

The Yankees have changed in subtle ways. It's still unclear whether the changes are for the better

And so it goes...  

The Yankees, still tiptoeing through feces in the George M. Steinbrenner Wastewater Treatment Facility, are awaiting answers from a winter of being frozen into place.

None will come soon. The wisdom behind standing pat - of bringing back last year's team, warts and all - won't be discerned for at least three months. 

But there are subtle changes within the matrix.

Spencer Jones homered in his first game, boosting hopes throughout the Yankiverse. Since then, he has failed to put a ball into play. Four strikeouts. One walk. 

He's unveiled a new toe-tap swing, developed over the winter and modeled after Ohtani. It's too soon to gauge success or failure. And it's worth remembering that last year, right around now, Jones trotted out another remodeled swing, and we were drooling with hope. 

We should not count out Jones. For starters, he shows the existential self-awareness to try and change. That he's trying new stances means that he knows the problem - he goddam strikes out too much - and he's adjusting. This is his life. Unless he changes, the Ks will kill his career. Lou Pinella used to say baseball was all about adjustments - pitchers, to the batters, and vice-versa. Well, Jones is trying. It can't happen in a week. Let's give him space. And let's keep him.

Jasson Dominguez is 2 for 5 with three strikeouts and a walk. Not bad. What's troubling, though, is the sense that he still looks naked and afraid in LF. 

Why is that? He's had a whole winter to shag fly balls. All he needed was somebody to hit fungoes, maybe 100 a day? and he should be approaching decency in the outfield. If he's still a defensive liability, the Yankees have the right to wonder. WTF?

It's clear now that, unless somebody gets injured, Dominguez will start the season at Scranton. That's because he cannot be trusted in the outfield. 

What an indictment of the Yankee farm system. And maybe of The Martian himself.

Ben Rice might yet be the Yankee hope. He is 2-for-3, and - as far as I can tell - he has not changed his stance or sit on the couch all winter. Already, he looks much more comfortable at 1B. 

Whatever he did this winter, it seems to have worked.

And so it goes.