Sunday, May 17, 2026
Facing a rubber game, the swooning Yankees are starting to relive last year
For the first quarter of 2026, the Gammonites of MLB - cheerful, dancing courtiers to America's oldest-money billionaires - stuck to their scripts and blathered praise for the 2nd place Yankees.
Night after night, "Boonies' Banterers of the Booth" have spun felony-grade ebullience about the Yankees' success, much in the manner that MAGA meatballs speak of You Know Who.
The narrative is simple: While certain other teams - (Mets, Redsocks, Orioles, Jays, Rays, et al) - remade their rosters, the Yankee brain trust doubled down on last year's team.
Ignored is that the 2025 Yankees collapsed in early June and finished second, due to an inability to beat their rivals. Today, we are watching it happen again, though a series of mind-bending losses.
Last night brought out Luke Weaver - the cerebral former Yankee closer, who the front office let go last winter. He came in with the bases loaded, nobody out, and a 2-run lead on the line. Weaver faced the ex-Met super-prospect, Amed Rosario, who never quite lived up to the hype. Rosario struck out.
Next came Trent Grisham, whose decision to accept the Yankee qualifying offer last winter set into motion the entire stand-pat strategy. (Basically, the Yankees had no other choice.) Grisham struck out.
Then came Anthony Volpe - the prodigal son of New Jersey - in what likely will be his last week - and his last chance - as a Yankee. He hit a routine grounder to short, ending the inning and - effectively - the game.
Everything you wanted to know about the rise and fall of 2026 was wrapped up in those four players.
Today, the Yankees trout out Elmer Rodriguez, a young pitcher who was showered with hype throughout the month of March, then sent to Scranton to tread water.
The winner of today's game will - for now, anyway - claim to be NYC's better team. Frankly, it's not much of a title. That said, make no mistake. The Yankees are fading, and everybody can feel it. The Bards of the Booth can say whatever they want. The second quarter looks like Hell.
Cashman is an incompetent asshole
My hero.
Fuck Cashman. Fuck Volpe. Fuck Boone. Fuck Duval. Fuck Bird.
They all suck.
Amen.
Saturday, May 16, 2026
Sgt. Elias: "You're an asshole, Boone."
He platooned the Martian.
He platooned Rice.
He platooned Oswaldo.
He platooned Stanton.
He platooned Bellinger.
He platooned Goldie.
But no matter how bad he's hitting, he never, ever, ever platoons Volpe. And pinch hit for him, if I rememer correctly, once.
Boone is an idiot.
Platooning is largely a sham.
So is Cashman.
Jazz is one of us
From today's NY Daily News story about Jazz Chisholms's good games playing in Trent Grisham's baggy pants and, last night, Giancarlo Stanton's:
Stanton and Grisham are not the only members of Chisholm’s Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants, as he also wore a pair belonging to Randal Grichuk, who the Yankees designated for assignment last month after a slow start to his season. Those pants did not bring good fortune Chisholm’s way. “I think it cursed me, because I was getting hot,” Chisholm insisted. ”I got hot, I wore Grichuk’s pants, I lined out twice, and flew out at the warning track. “I said, ‘Oh, see, you just put bad juju on my short-pant game.'”
A Yankee fan's prayer for justice... and Clay Holmes.
This we know: The juju gods are assholes.
Last night, the juju gods took out their frustrations on a relatively innocent bystander in the eternal NY baseball cold war, the so-called "Subway Series." A freak liner fractured the fibula of Clay Holmes, an ex-Yankee who was pitching for the Mets. He's out for "a long time." Maybe worse. At age 33, a broken leg can be a career killer. Damn. It's not fair.
Normally, like Trump grousing from his airliner's restroom door, I will rage through the night about Yankee stars who sign with other teams. They're guilty of the worst crime known to fans: Yankee treason.
My piercing righteousness stems from Juan Soto, who pissed upon a year of Yankees loyalty so he could bank a few extra dimes on a Mt. Everest stack of money he will not in his life imagine. In Soto's case - like that of Robbie "Joggy" Cano - he made not only a craven choice, but a flat-out bad decision, which has already begun to haunt him. I believe he will secretly regret it for the rest of his life. Good riddance.
In an alt-Yankiverse, last night's Yankee batting order should have been:
Ben Rice, 1B
Aaron Judge, RF
Juan Soto, LF
Giancarlo Stanton, DCH
Cody Bellinger, CF
Higgy C (why not?)
Jazz Chisholm, 2B
Jose Caballero, SS
Oswald Peraza, 3B (same)
Okay, I'm soaring off topic. This is about an injustice, about wrongful collateral damage, which happened last night to an undeserving soul.
In his time with the Yankees, Holmes had been a solid closer, who always took the ball, even when he was being vastly overworked by Aaron Boone, until his arm nearly fell off. When he reached free agency - at 31, the most important contract in his family's future - he had run his course with the Yankees. The Mets offered a new life, as a starter, and Holmes had become their ace. Last night, the juju gods kicked him in the nuts.
Holmes took a shot off the bat of Spencer Jones - a newly inscribed character in the hyped-up history of the Subway Series - who before last night was known for strikeouts and being as tall as Aaron Judge. I hope Jones can launch his New York career in the next two nights. And let's hope Holmes can make it back. Guy didn't deserve this. Screw you, juju gods.
Friday, May 15, 2026
New York, New York? These little town shoes are bringing us down.
For one ridiculously stupid week, NBA teams pretended to chase a cherished, time-honored trophy - The Cup! - and the feckless media played along. Fun Fact: The Knicks won this year's cup, though I had to look it up. It had been banished it from my mind.
College football has "Rivalry Weekend," when teams pair up with their geographical adversaries. Arizona plays Arizona State. Georgia plays Georgia Tech, Ohio State takes on Michigan and Penn State gets - um - Rutgers? Of course, none of it will matter a month later, in the conference tourney, or come December, in the NCAA playoffs. Rivalry Weekend serves to bump up resales, and the media follows along like a leashed chihuahua.
Which brings us to baseball, which has two fake events. The first comes in March, with the World Baseball Classic. This year, America got to watch Aaron Judge flail at pitches in the dirt, so folks in San Diego could say he's overrated. Then there is tonight, which launches MLB's version of Rivalry Weekend.
Everybody plays their mortal enemy, even teams that have none. Baltimore plays Washington, Philly does Pittsburgh, it's Texas/Houston, Boston/Atlanta (huh?), Miami/Florida, San Francisco/Sacramento, (hah), LA/LA, and of course, the most fraudulent rivalry of all - NY/NY, the "Subway Series," baseball's version of Blake Lively vs Justin Baldoni.
Tonight, we're supposed to watch two struggling, money-bleeding teams - one of which might be a certified tomato can - face off in a season-defining weekend.
Yeah, right. A month from now, this weekend's heroes and/or goats will have vanished from our memories. And good riddance.
Once again, the Yankees are chasing their Wild Card, while the Mets face the terrifying reality that Stevie Cohen has squandered more money than ICE, if it sought a detention center in Palm Beach.
Of course, we'll play along. Always do. I've followed these bullshit events for nearly 70 years, back when they played "The Mayor's Trophy Game." Honestly? I've seen worse matchups. Still, I refuse to assign extra importance to a three-game series that belongs in February. No new star will be christened tonight. No history will be made.
New York is preparing to battle its greatest nemesis of all, bigger than Boston, bigger than LA, bigger than SUNY New Paltz.
It's about to deal with the Indiana Pacers. the next villain, whomever it is. Now, that's something.
Thursday, May 14, 2026
This is hilarious.
According to the odds online from baseball reference today, your New York Yankees...remain the heavy favorite to win the American League pennant, and the World Series.
Before yesterday's 7-0 blowout loss to a bad Orioles team, the Yanks were over 99 percent certain to make a playoff spot, over 35 percent certain to win the pennant...and still 20.4 percent certain to win the World Series.
That's right: after losing 4 of their previous 5 games going into yesterday, their chances of winning the Series...actually increased slightly.
The culprit, of course, is our old friend, Pythagoras, who no doubt would be chortling with rage if he saw his mathematical theorems misused like this to gull the suckers.
Most likely, had the bullpen been able to hold yesterday's debacle to the one- or two-run loss the Yankees are used to sustaining without so much as a whimper, they would be over 25-percent favorites to win the Series.
Instead, their numbers plunged. All the way to...a 98.7 certainty to make the playoffs, a 34.3 percent chance to win the pennant, and an 18.3 percent chance to win it all.
Those pennant and World Series percentages are, respectively almost three times and over three times the next highest numbers for an AL team, in this case the Wandering A's (at 13.2 and 6.0).
This is despite the Yankees just having lost 4 of 5 games, sustained devastating injuries for which there are no replacements, and seen their bullpen, lineup, and top remaining minor-league prospect, all implode. They are now 3 games behind the Rays in the East Division loss column.
The Rays...who are given barely one-sixth the chance the Yankees supposedly have to make the Series (3.4 percent).
Over in the NL, the Brewers—a scrappy bunch who just ran rings around our heroes—are supposed to have only a 13.9 percent chance to win it all...same as the Dodgers, who have a slightly better chance of winning the pennant.
In other words, according to these monkeyshines, the Yanks will cruise through the American League, then trounce the Bums in the Fall Classic.
Uh-huh.
Hear me now and believe me later: the schneid came early this year, and the Yankees hopped aboard.
Along with all of the other problems cited above, the facts are that other Bomber injuries are just waiting to be announced (looking at you, Cam Schlittler); Aaron Judge, great as he remains, is noticeably slowed and uncertain at the plate; Bellinger seems to have lost his power, and there's nothing to call up from Scranton.
They re-ran last year, all right...and the results are predictably worse, as always happens in a dynamic game that is constantly in flux, whether Hal & Pal like it or not. This is a sloppy, spiritless, distracted ball club, reassured at every turn by management that they are doing just great, as the money keeps flowing in.
Let's face it: These Yankees are not going to win the World Series. They are not going to win the pennant. They are not going to win their division. They are not going to join the 40 percent of the league that makes the playoffs.
Don't be fooled by Greeks bearing phony mathematical theories!
Remember our motto at SSG:
Gambling is stupid enough. Don't gamble stupid!
This has been a public service announcement.
Thank you, Mr. President
The same thing that is always wrong with them. They have some good players who are not managed or coached well. And they can't keep their people healthy.
— Richard M. Nixon (@dicknixon.bsky.social) 7:21 PM · May 13, 2026
[image or embed]
Can you hear the drums, Fernando?
How 'bout now? Can you hear them now?
How's this? Drums? Anything?
This any better?
Still? It's a Bonham solo, for Christ's sake! You have to hear them by now.
A day off lets Yankee and Met fans treasure their teams' ongoing fiascos and debate an existential question.
For one butchered afternoon, their fans could ignore the price of gas, the shameful plot twists of HBO' Euphoria, the new name brand - "Sledgehammer!" for the Iran war the Yankees, who...
1. Lost a game and series to Baltimore, a team four games below .500.
2. Were nearly no-hit by Kyle Bradish. (They eked out one hit.)
3. Didn't score.
4. Lost their ace, Max Fried, to an elbow issue. (Today, we'll learn the likely catastrophic extent of the problem.)
5. Returned Anthony Volpe to SS, where he botched a routine grounder.
6. Watched their bullpen give up four runs.
What a day. What a week. Forget the Thucydides Trap. Forget the super El Nino. All you need to know about world history, or climate change, is that the annual June Boone Swoon, a fixture in recent seasons, has arrived early.
This weekend, they play the wretched, underperforming Mets, who possess the fourth worst record in baseball. Last year, the two teams split their six game "Subway Series," spurring an existential debate - and I'm not referring to comparing the Yankees and Mets. The real question is this:
Which is worse: New York baseball (Yankees/Mets) or football (Giants/Jets?)
At least the Giants and Jets can blame the NFL's payroll cap, which lets their billionaire owners poormouth, while happily bleeding their teams. The Mets and Yankees outspend all but a handful of franchises, yet they still manage to embarrass themselves, year after year. That's world class incontinence.
I'm going with the Mets/Yanks, though it might just be PTSD from yesterday.
Wednesday, May 13, 2026
Subway Series? Or Subpar?
One hit.
A blowout.
A lost series.
A fiasco.
Today, after Max Fried went out in the 3rd, the Yankees had as much chance of winning the game as Epstein did of surviving a shift change.
Next up, the Mets.
The battle to be NYC's worst team.
Maybe YES can sign Kid Rock to play an alternative game.
Last night, Paul Goldschmidt put the Yankees on his shoulders to forestall a collapse. Were Anthony Volpe and Jazz Chisholm Jr. watching?
Honest. Faithful. Fiducial. Tough. Wise...
Last night, as we all know, Goldy slammed a game- opening HR, putting the haggard Yanks ahead of Baltimore and - perhaps - forestalling the looming June Boone Full-Moon swoon.
At 38, relegated to a backup, defensive role - resulting from the ascension of Ben Rice and the latest injury to Giancarlo Stanton - Goldschmidt delivered.
Let's hope Anthony Volpe and Jazz Chisholm were watching.
This week, the Yankees were roiled by matters of loyalty - to Volpe, after returning from an injury, and to Chisholm, after a disastrous trip to Milwaukee.
Volpe was demoted to Scranton, where he must re-engineer his swing and save his career. Chisholm was benched and watched a ball roll through the legs of his replacement, Amed Rosario. Both players can pine over their current doldrums. Both need look no further than Goldschmidt for how a true Major League star should act.
Goldy, who turns 39 in September, is a career .288 hitter with 376 home runs. This season, in 20 games, he's at .262 with 4 HRs.
This guy has...
Four Gold Gloves.Seven all-star game appearances.
One MVP (2022).
Three Players of the Month.
Five Silver Sluggers.
His statistical doppelgangers include Hall of Famers Orlando Cepeda, Edgar Martinez and Fred McGriff, along with such candidates as David Ortiz, Joey Votto and Freddy Freeman.
What could make Goldy a lock. (Pun there, get it?) A ring. An October surprise. One final big moment in the national spotlight, magnified by the passion of New York City.
In the meantime, at least for now, he is the Yankee first baseman. And every time he saves Volpe or Chisholm from an errant throw, they should salute not just Goldschmidt, but the person he is and the way he plays.
Deep Thoughts
Not a lot of them, because really, what is there to say?
I only watched the condensed game on mlb.com. Full disclosure.
1. That terrible play by Schuemann made me wonder who the fuck was playing short. I hadn't seen the lineup beforehand. It was so bad that for a few seconds I thought Volpe was playing. Little did I know that Cab really hurt his finger and the Player Formerly Known As The Great Volpe was called up, and could well have been playing.
2. Jake Bird. OK, he's not the worst reliever ever, but how long do we continue this experiment? It was the Orioles for fuck's sake.
3. Ditto Cruella Duval. I mean, even Cashman has to see what he's got there, and it ain't good.
4. I see Jazz didn't play. So I checked out the Michael Kay link Carl so thoughtfully provided. Those stats Kay read off were even more depressing than what I've seen in the games I've watched. His defense is still a little hit and miss, too. Anybody need a used infielder? Used to be pretty good, needs work.
6. Beldar--the best Conehead we have in the pen--did fine. I think there's hope for him as a closer. Cashman's flurry of bad trades at last year's deadline may not include him. Which makes Cashman, what, 1 for 4? He should be benched.
7. Volpe is a decided bust, I think we all agree. Which brings us to his girlfriend, at right. Ignore the picture of the tree. Volpe is standing behind it, hiding after he was sent down. He has few reasons to complain about his lot in life.
Tuesday, May 12, 2026
No CURE, No RELIEF, But LOTS of INACTIVE INGREDIENTS – Game Thread
HE'S BACK!
(SIDE EFFECT WILL INCLUDE)
NAUSEA
DIARRHEA
VOMITING
INCREASED BLOOD PRESSURE
ANXIETY
HEAD ACHE
CONFUSION
MOMENTARY LOSS OF MUSCULAR COORDINATION
AND . . .
Brian Cashman pushes back on "the narrative," sends "strong message on storyline."
News item: "Brian Cashman Sends Strong Message on Storyline Around 2026 Yankees": https://heavy.com/sports/mlb/new-york-yankees/brian-cashman-storyline-urgency/
Ah, what a difference a week makes! Or even a day!
"Cashman pushed back on the narrative that the Yankees are playing with more urgency to win in 2026 despite their stellar 26-12 26-15 26-16 start.
"I know there's this narrative that all of a sudden we woke up and smelled the coffee," Cashman told the Sports Section Formerly Known As The New York Times's. "[That] We know it's a must-win year—that we're making roster moves that reflect that, and we've almost found a different gear. None of that is true."
It is a little known fact that Cashman is only the latest in a long line of littérateurs who have run the New York Yankees.
Many think of the individuals who have guided the Yankees over the last century as merely baseball men who built dynasties that lasted for decades, dominated baseball as no other franchise in any other sport ever has, established a legacy of winning and class, and built a cathedral of a ballpark to house record numbers of fans.
But that doesn't mean they were not also distinguished men of letters.
It was none other than Jacob Ruppert, for instance, who first proclaimed, "The author is dead," while his general manager, Ed Barrow, defined the idea of "the unreliable narrator."
It was Barrow's successor, George Weiss, who came up with the idea of "the nonfiction novel," and Gabriel Garcia Paul who conceived of "magical realism," saying, "How else to explain George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin?"
Gene Michael, Bob Watson, and Buck Showalter were considered to be adherents of "Parnassianism," the French literary movement "that strove for exact and faultless workmanship"...which was declared literary heresy once it was thought to cut into Steinbrennerian profit margins.
As for Cashman's pushing back on the narrative:
"We are acting the same way as we did in years gone by," he insisted. "...I don't feel like there's anything different right now."
Hey, when the man's right, he's right.
Just a week ago today
The Yankees are on fire and they have reinforcements on the way
By Gary Phillips, New York Daily News
May 6, 2026
Basking in the glow of yet another win, Jazz Chisholm Jr. eagerly relayed the vibes inside the Yankees’ clubhouse Tuesday night.
“The positivity in the clubhouse right now is just super crazy,” the second baseman said after homering in a 7-3 takedown of the Rangers. “It’s like everybody’s just on a real high horse right now, and we just want to ride it out as long as we can.”
Tuesday’s victory made the Yankees 15-2 since April 17, the best record of any team over that stretch. That span has also seen their offense lead the majors in runs, home runs, RBI, average, OBP, slugging, OPS, wRC+ and xwOBA. Their pitching staff, meanwhile, has the best ERA, WHIP and opponent batting average in baseball, as well as the second-best FIP.
The Yankees have also been a top-10 fielding team, in terms of Defensive Runs Saved, since April 17.
“It’s an incredibly talented group, and we’re playing well,” said closer David Bednar, one of four relievers who teamed up to strand each of the eight runners they inherited on Tuesday. “It’s a lot of fun. All these guys in this locker room, it’s really special, and I think you’re seeing it.”
With the Yankees clicking on all fronts — and showing some increased urgency in their decision-making after last year’s shortcomings — the team is 25-11 overall. That’s good enough for the best record in the American League and the second-best record in baseball behind the Braves.
And to think, the Bombers could get better soon...
As Yanks fade, minor weaknesses expand into full-blown crises
Yeesh. Guy's a mess. Puffy face, like a bout with bad clams. He's old, he's withered, and he can't even host a parade. Some 350,000 Russian families have reason to loath him. The red tide of history is coming for him, and it'd be fun, if not for so much death, to watch him go down.
I say this in a Yankee fan blog - not to get political, or righteous, but to simply acknowledge that, no matter how we try to outrun the universe, it always catches up.
In the end, old Putin will go out as they all do - kicking and screaming, biting and wailing - even though it only hastens his fall.
On a lesser note - baseball as metaphor, right? - the long, harsh talons of Time are coming for the Yankees. After the joy of the first seven weeks, the team and organization are settling back into the pit they've dug for 15 years, with the same inevitability that dictators - foreign or domestic - should view with fear.
So, WTF is happening?
The Yankees just piled - back to back and belly to belly - the two most gruesome losses of 2026. They squandered a great start by Ryan Weathers, who might soon disappear from the rotation. They blew a 2-0 lead, and they went 0-for-6 with runners in scoring position. A night of hell.
You could blame the bullpen, or the hitters, or the juju gods, or Aaron Boone, or the slowly grinding gristmill of history, in which the Yankees sat on Dietrich Emms for six years in the minors, all so he could suddenly shut us down last night, without a bubble.
How often must we watch ex-Yankees come back to kill us? (Did the name Ezequiel Duran strike a familiar note in Milwaukee?)
Here we go again.
Four straight losses. Once again, the Yankees are running hot and cold, with the same problems that have plagued the team throughout this millennium. Consider.
1. Giancarlo still can't run. Remember when he went down, April 24, nearly three weeks ago? He tweaked himself, running the bases. They said he's "day to day." What a joke. Before it happened, he'd given us reason to think that maybe - just maybe - he might have one final year in those Moby Dick thighs. Well, he doesn't. And stop waiting for him, because we know what's coming: He'll return, play a few weeks, then get hurt again.
2. The bullpen is shot. I mean, it's done. There is no acquisition, no trade, that will fix it. If a pitcher throws a shutout inning, he immediately vaults to the front of Boonie's "Circle of Trust," which long ago shrank to a microdot. The thing is, it's gone this way for 17 years - through Joe Torre, through Joe Girardi, (and why didn't John Sterling get to manage?) - it's gone on for 17 years. It's not gonna change.
3. The Yankees "youth movement" continues to age, and - aside from Cam Schlittler, who is throwing a lot more innings than we should be comfortable with - it pales compared to other teams. This is starting to look like Tampa's year. Baltimore is energized. And Boston will eventually wake up.
At least old Putin is going down. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Fate is a bitch, eh?
Monday, May 11, 2026
THE RETURN OF THE IDIOT! Game Thread - NY√s Baltimore – Some Day in May
Are you READY for some BOONE'BALL !
WE WILL NEVER, EVER WIN AGAIN!
Pythagoras was a bum.
Hilarious fact of the day: after getting swept by the Milwaukee Brewers, your New York Yankees' chances of winning the World Series actually INCREASED, according to the wizards of analytics.
The Yanks now have not only a 99.1-percent chance to make the playoffs and a 36.8-chance to win the AL pennant, but also a 20.1-chance to take the World Series.
That's higher than the chances of the team that just swept them, the Brewers (15.5 percent). It's almost 10 times as high as those of the Tampa Bay Rays (2.4), who swept them back in April.
It's much higher than that of the Atlanta Braves (8.0), who have more wins than any other team in baseball, or that of the Chicago Cubs (7.9), who have already put together two, 10-game wins streaks on the season). It's even higher than that of the Los Angeles Dodgers (16.2), who are still looking through the couch cushions for enough millions to make the late-season acquisition that will seal their third straight World Series title—something never previously accomplished by a National League team.
The very existence of such odds, to anyone who actually has to watch the brand of miserable baseball now permeating the Former National Pastime, is more proof that Americans not only have a gambling problem, they have a Gambling Stupid Problem.
This gives employment to any number of alleged "experts," who make the real money gulling us into idiotic formulae for determining win probabilities.
Case in point, of course, is the Yankees' "Pythagorean record," the whole reason for their astounding popularity amongst the oddsmakers (Fun historical tidbit: "Pythagorean record" was the original title of "Fascinating Rhythm" by the Gershwin boys, but Irving Berlin told them it would never sell. It's true!).
The Pyth is a mirage, one created mostly by how the Yanks recently enjoyed a week of smashing cupcakes (Actually, the original name of Smashing Pumpkins...okay, okay, I'll stop.)
Thus, in keeping with the fashion of the time, I will give you my Top Ten reasons why the Yankees—brilliant Greek philosophers and mathematicians who have been dead for over 2,500 years to the contrary—will win absolutely nothing again this year:
1)—They can't win the close ones. There is no better example of where analytics, sabremetrics, saber-toothed tigers, etc., let us down. The Yankees are now 3-8 in one-run games. Five of these losses have come in games against the Brewers and Rays—young, aggressive, battling teams (with smart managers) that look much worse on paper. (The other two were against the plucky Mariners and Wandering A's—also young, feisty squads with nothing to lose.)
Has any team in history ever won anything with a less-then .300 percentage in one-run games? Without having read a single stat on it, I will say this: No, they have not.
2)—Fundamentals. We talk about this all the time, usually around October. But it's true. The Yankees don't field or run the bases particularly well, and are schooled not to ever, ever, shorten their swings, go to the opposite field, or bunt, no matter what the situation...this in the era in which regular-season games are decided by the Manfred Man.
3)—They only look dead. The rest of the AL East—and pretty much the rest of baseball—I mean. As Duque predicts, the likes of the Orioles and the Red Sox cannot possibly be this bad. Nor can the Blue Jays. They will rise again shortly, as will a bunch of the other tomato cans we have been pummeling.
And I agree with Duque: look out for the Mets. They may genuinely be a bad team—but the Subway Series is their World Series. No, it's more than that: it's their Götterdämmerung. Hold the umlauts: the Mets will play like their lives are on the line this week.
4)—What's in a name? Everything. I know this sounds crazy, but Cam Schlittler, one of the very, very few decent pitchers Brian Cashman has ever developed in his endless tenure as Yankees GM, will not be a great major-league pitcher.
I'm dreadfully sorry to say this, as a I love the guy. But nobody named Schlittler will ever be a true great. That's just the way the juju gods have fixed it, the miserable bastards.
5)—"I can't get no relief." The joker was right. This is Brian the Brain's 29th year as general manager of the Yankees, and in all that time—the last 26 years—the Brain has never, ever gone into a season with a sufficient bullpen.
(No doubt, he would have gone into every single season without enough pen, but the one that Gene Michael left him with for 1998-2000 was just too good and too inexpensive for even Cashman to eighty-six them in time.)
Cashie got lucky one year—2009—when the Yanks had enough starting pitching that Joe Girardi (still a relatively independent-minded manager) was able to stick both Joba and Phil Hughes in the bullpen for the playoffs. Even then, we almost lost it when he decided to pitch Pettitte on short rest.
It's theoretically possible that, once we get Cole and Rodon back, we can do the same this year. But judging by Rodon's character and Cole's age...that's a bad bet.
6)—Waist deep in the big muddy. Pro sports today are all about depth—another asset that Hal & Pal have failed to provide (again). All seasons are battles of attrition, for which you'd better have a great bench and—in baseball—a good minor-league system, if you want to wade through everything. The Yankees' current BrainRust just doesn't care about such things.
7)—Ryan McMahon. How can I be so mean?? Why, just last week, McMahon went on a tear that got his BA up from .167 to .223. And...after a 1-7 performance in Milwaukee, it's already back to .218. You can expect it to keep plummeting. The man is simply not a major-league hitter. And this year, he has often not been a great major-league fielder, with 4 errors already. This is not a piece on a championship team.
8)—Jazz Chisholm. I genuinely feel bad for the guy. Also, exasperated. Last year, he demonstrated just how little being a 30-30 man has come to mean in the majors. This year, Mr. 50-50 is averaging fewer than 1 RBI every 3 games—and over 1 strikeout a game. And after leading the AL in errors at 2B last year with 12 (in just 100 games there, and another 6 in 30 games at 3B), he has continued his poor fielding, poor decision-making, and general loopiness.
Chisholm is also a lifetime, .170 hitter in 24 postseason games. As with McMahon, how did anyone ever figure he would be a piece on a World Series winner?
9)—Austin Wells. Three years into his major-league career, Austin Wells looks more like Austin Powers (ba-dum-dum!). Five RBI in 31 games and a quarter of a season? These are stats from the deadball era. Someday, some stathead will get a Ph.D for a thesis figuring out how come Cashman catchers always regress to nothingness. Until then, we're left to figure it out. Nobody on the Yankees is.
10)—"You gotta have heart!" So sang the greatest baseball musical ever written, about the greatest baseball team that ever played. Ah, for the days when opponents had to sell their souls to the devil to beat us! Now all they need is...I dunno, maybe a two-year option with Elon Musk?
I know that desire is very hard to measure in athletes, and particularly in baseball, when you play everyday and keeping an even keel is essential. But c'mon. Who among us doubted that the Yanks were going to get swept by the Brewers—or the Rays—after losing the first two games? Who can remember them going into a postseason with fire in the belly? Or the eyes? Or would you believe...fire in the islets of Langerhans?
Among his many failings as a manager, Aaron Boone is not someone able to keep his team motivated or focused over the course of a whole season, or even down the stretch and in the postseason. I don't know how a modern coach or manager does that, mind you. But the fact is there are too many games, for too many years, when the Yankees just don't come to play.
Yankees, undressed in Milwaukee, face one looming existential question.
Feel free to taste the Luger. Breathe. But don't pull the trigger. There is hope on the horizon. It's Baltimore - ahh, yes, Baltimore...
Tonight, it's Baltimore, in Baltimore, and our hope is that Baltimore does Baltimore, as only Baltimore can do, in which case we'll beat Baltimore like the Baltimore that Baltimore is, rather than the Baltimore that Baltimore thinks it is, which is Towson.
It's barely mid-May, too early to toss in a towel.
We sit one game below Tampa with 121 to play. Yeah, we sucked in Milwaukee, but wanna know who is really crapping its bed? Boston. The Redsocks didn't even make the standings screenshot on the upper right.
The Redsocks are six games below .500 and 10 losses behind Tampa. Trevor Story is hitting .200, Roman Anthony is hurt (again), and their vaunted future Jeter, Marcelo Mayer, shows signs of premature Volpeheimers. Moreover, El Chapo hasn't yet blown up, which means Boston might be holding him when the music finally stops, which will be wonderful to behold. Remember their youth movement? It will take another year for the bodies to mature. I wonder if Boston will wait.
After Aaron Judge, our best asset is the AL East, a division of cupcakes and Tampa.
Following tonight's upcoming three-game series, we'll still get to play Baltimore six more times this season: three in August and three on the final weekend, when we'll probably be chasing down the wild card. We play each AL East "rival" 13 times. And several might be even bigger tomato cans after the garage sales of August 1.
Still, one existential question haunts the Yankees:
Who pitches the last three innings?
The current bullpen is a disaster. You saw it in Milwaukee. Hell, they saw it in Iran. To beat the Yankees, just outlast the starter and wait for the Doval/Blackburn/Bird Triad to take over. Yesterday, Brent Headrick became the latest bullpen "success" to go south. Then it was David Bednar's turn.
Tell me, how do we get the final nine outs of any game?
Surely, Cashman will make trades. That's how we ended up with the Triad. Last July, the Yankees emptied the Class A levels of their farm system. This year, the trades would bleed more profusely - the Martian, Spencer Jones, Elmer Rodriguez, Anthony Volpe, maybe even George Lombard Jr. (though he looks untouchable.) There's always hope a late-season Cam Schlittler, up from Scranton. But for now, the cupboard looks bare.
Let's hope Baltimore plays like last week's Baltimore, not the Baltimore that Baltimore once imagined.
Sunday, May 10, 2026
Sign Of The Times
Cam Schlittler gave up 2 hits and no runs in 6 innings.
On most teams, that is good enough for a starter these days. Not so for the Yankees. They need 9 innings of no runs ( maybe 1 on a hot day for the offense).
The moment the bullpen arrived, the game changed for the worse. The first pitch, I think, was a home run for the Brewers. As if to say, " we've got you now."
People like Jazz Chisolm continued to not put the ball in play ( strike out looking) with an insurance run on third and only one out. Time after time.
There was no clutch hitter this line-up....until MacMahon arrived in the ninth ( as a pinch hitter ) to drive in a run with a single to center. All of a sudden, he is our most reliable contact hitter. This, the golden glove player, who led the league in strikeouts for the past two seasons.
The perfect metaphor for this pathetic offense is Boone's decision to pinch hit Grisham for Jones at our last critical moment . This gives a demoralizing message to Jones ( who has trouble enough not striking out ), and resulted in absolutely nothing. Grisham, as if in tribute to the rookie, strikes out himself. Jones could not have done worse.
This team is just older and slower than last year's team.
Season is over.
With the team suddenly struggling, the Yankiverse experiences a sense of deja-Boone.
In the cement scrawl of history, the 2025 Yankees - a team of Judge, Fried and Bellinger - led the AL East into the July 4th weekend, when Toronto clipped their wings. They fell into second place and - well - there they remain.
This year's Yankees, a veritable carbon duplicate of their predecessors, lasted in first place until last night, when a bullpen meltdown spawned one of those too-common "Out-of-Body, Shoot Me, Worst Loss of the Year" disasters, which plague and define the modern franchise.
The Yankees lost to seemingly meager Milwaukee, one of the younger and hungrier prototypes that beat the Yankees every October, if not months earlier.
Listen: May 10 is too early to count out any team, even when they step from a time machine with nary a molecule of change. Today - game time, 2:10 p.m. - we shall glimpse the Yankees' new ballroom - featuring Carlos Rodon, in some degree of restoration, as yet unknown.
But Yank fans have seen this movie before. To watch last year's lineup, virtually recreated down to the doorknob fittings, brings deja-vu, or worse... Deja-Boone.
Last night, the bullpen killed us. Of course, it did. For 17 years now, it's been the bullpen. The truth is, we never replaced Mariano - or Mike Stanton, or Ramiro Mendoza, or Jeff Nelson - none of them. We tried Joba, Houdini, Scott Proctor, Aroldis, Luke Weaver, the cast of Glee, a progression of missteps that exists to this day in the form of Cam Doval and Jeff Bird. We still cringe when the late innings come into view. I suppose we always will.
Second place. Technically, we're tied for first. And there's a lot of baseball yet to play, a lot of chances to rectify this ship. But here we are, looking up at Tampa. It sure was nice, leading the AL East. Now, what? Hola, Mr. Carlos, can you go nine?
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