Yankees bring back Amed Rosario, who was once the Mets' version of The Martian

The Yankees will bring back Amed Rosario, the 30-year-old Swiss army knife, for $2.5 million. Guy eats lefties for lunch, but boots grounders for dinner. 

Ten fun facts:

1. In 2012, he signed with the Mets for $1.75 million, their biggest bonus for a 16-year-old. In a manner befitting Jasson "The Martian" Dominguez, Rosario was nicknamed "El Nino." 

2. He broke out in 2016 at Double A. He batted .324, drove in 71 runs, and went 1-2 in the 2016 Futures Game.

3. The following spring, ESPN's Keith Law named him MLB's No. 1 prospect. 

4. He reached the Majors on Aug. 1, 2017, and got a hit.

5. In 2019, as the Mets SS, he hit .287 with 15 HRs, 72 RBIs and 19 SBs. But his defense was atrocious, statistically worst in the NL. 

6. In the winter of 2021, the Mets sent him in a package to Cleveland for Francisco Lindor and Carlos Carascos. 

7. The Indians/Guardians moved him to the OF, where his defense remained shameful. They flipped him back to SS, and - at least, offensively - he had a good year: .282, 11 HRs, 57 RBIs.

8. He had great speed. In 2022, he led the Majors in triples, with 9. The following year, he led in infield hits, with 35. Overall, he's stolen 110 bases, but been thrown out 36 times.

9. After Cleveland, he's kicked around with the Dodgers, Rays, Dodgers (again), Reds, Nats and finally the Yankees. He devours lefties - a career .298 - and bats .262 against RHs. 

10) Wherever he plays, he's a defensive liability. 

He could platoon with Ryan McMahon and/or Oswaldo Cabrera at 3B. Or the Martian in LF. Or even Jazz Chisholm at 2B. Not the star we need, but not a bad chess piece, either.

And for only $25K - $40K, you can also have Aaron Boone show up to motivate and inspire in person . . .

CLICK THE LINK BELOW

https://www.wsb.com/speakers/aaron-boone/

Yankees team up with Walmart. Does anybody else see the deliciousness?

Breaking Happy News: The Yankees and Walmart are hosting a Winter Wonderland, supplying toys for needy children. 

Great. Bravo. Yay.   

The Yankees and Walmart. A perfect team-up, for a worthy cause. 

The Yankees and Walmart. A marriage made from holiday spirit. It's all good! Be proud. I certainly am. Yankees and Walmart! We're doing good. Our favorite baseball team, linking up with our favorite retail outlet. 

Not sure how this will work. My guess: All good Yank fans who work or shop at Walmart will donate money, and the Yankees will co-host a big gala giveaway, and everyone will sing songs, and Santa Hal will make an appearance, and some needy kids will have a happier holiday season than would have happened otherwise, and I have absolutely no problem with this. The Yankees and Walmart. Jolly good show. 

Look, if you think I'm going to be smug or smart-alecky here, you clicked on the wrong website, kiddo. The Yankees! Walmart! Teaming up! As they should! If only K-Mart were around to see this. And who knows what the Dodgers will team up with - Amazon? Nvidia? Saudi Aramco? Doesn't matter. We're with The Wall. Bravo.  

Yankees and Walmart. Mickey Mantle and Mickey Mouse. Stanton and Santa. The Babe and The Babe!  An unstoppable duo. 

Have I mentioned the savings when shopping at Walmart? I'm sure our main elf, Brian Cashman, does, when touting trade packages. Together, the Yankees and Walmart can solve any team's need: Weedwhackers, outdoor grills, shirts, shoes, outfielders, infielders, starters, relievers, everything. At low, low prices.

Yankees and Walmart! I'm raising my glass. Merry Christmas to all! And let the shopping begin! 

The day after Baseball's Convention of Nothingness: Five takeaways

Okay, as the late Mr. Wolf would say, Let's go to the videotape! 

1. Are we being played? The Information Superhighway is ripe with trade rumors that make no sense. Supposedly, the Yankees are in on Colorado's Gold Glove CF Brenton Doyle, and I'm thinking - great, a Ryan McMahon for the outfield. WTF? They already have a logjam. Acquiring Doyle would kill their imaginary chase of Kyle Tucker and/or Cody Bellinger, as well as clobber plans for The Martian and Spencer Jones. This 4-D chess match is giving me a headache. But this we know: Pull one thread on the Yankee sweater, and the varsity letter falls off. I think they're running a massive psyops campaign. They say anything, knowing that across the Yankiverse, all that matters is pitching, pitching, pitching content, content, content.  

2. The Mets will gorge themselves at the free agent buffet. Stevie Cohen has not yet begun to spend, and I imagine him holding two large platters as he goes through the line, loading up on burnt-end cutlets (Bellinger), bang-bang shrimp (Tatsuya Imai) and the prime rib (Bo Bichette). We're going to get the mystery meat leftovers. (Michael King, Jordan Montgomery.) Food Stamps Hal is always looking to collude - remember his talks with Cohen when Aaron Judge went on the market? In today's America, corruption is not just legal, it's preferred. The Mets will spend their money, then leave the store. That's when the Yankees will enter.

3. Are the Yankees really listening to deals for Jazz Chisholm? Or is this just a way of telling players that nobody is safe? This would be a sea change, and it would open a gaping hole at 2B. Chisholm's 31 HRs - and 31 SBs - were nice last year, but he sucked in the postseason, when he tried to hit every ball to Yonkers. Also, I wonder if he can withstand another year of being pummeled at 2B? He's a tough player, and I think the Yankees like him. So, again, in these rumors, are we being played?  

4. There remains a huge void at SS, in the rotation and on the truth. A general rule of Yankee fandom is to never believe their target date for a player's return from injury. Doesn't matter who, or where, or when. If the Yankees say he'll be back in May, he'll be back in June. If so, Anthony Volpe and Carlos Rodon will miss major blocks of the regular season. Also, there's no guarantee for either. Volpe has yet to show any stardom, and they're saying that Rodon, at the end of September, could barely lift his arm, due to the chips floating in his elbow. 

5. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I cannot shake the feeling that, when the 2027 labor strike ends - maybe in 2028? - Hal will be looking to sell. Massive changes will be coming to MLB's financial structure, and the Yankees are already descending into a mid-upper tier dingus. Meanwhile, the richest men in the world - what comes after trillionaires? - will be coveting cultural versions of penis extensions, and what better way to advertise your manhood than by hanging with celebrities in the owner box? (Something Hal does not do.) Somebody - a Musk, a Bezos, a Trump - will make Hal an insane offer, which he cannot refuse. I'm not sure whether to look forward to this, or to dread it. But the Yankees should be owned by superhuman wealth, with an ego to match. Hal has never filled that role. (Except when performing in the Broadway version of KINKY BOOTS. He was sooo liberated.)   

For $350, you can give Aaron Boone this Christmas

 He's on cameo.com, doing inspirational videos at $350 a pop.

STOP THE PRESSES, WE JUST GOT BRADLEY HANNER!

 Well, if you've been waitin' on Cashman making a big move this winter: here it is, come and get it!

Bradley Hanner (hope I got his name right). Who the hell is he? Right, I'ze thinkin' the exact same thing. Seems he's a career minor leaguer who's bounced around, last year with an ERA of almost 5, and gave up 13 HR in only 49 innings pitched. And that was down in AAA! Cleveland. 

https://www.yardbarker.com/mlb/articles/yankees_make_first_post_winter_meetings_free_agency_move/s1_16754_43191578

Hmmmm. 13 homers in 49 innings pitched. Don't that come to a homer every 4 innings? Which if he was a starter would equate to a whopping 50 homers allowed, if he pitched 200 innings.

Remember those military commercials? "Aim High" 

Seems the Yankees didn't get the message. The motto here seems to be "Aim Low" or at best, "Aim Average". Or maybe they did get it right. Because that'll be a whole lotta "it is HIGH, it is far, it is gone" ... for the other team. We got this sad sack for 800K, courtesy Food Stamps HAL & Cashman Dumpster Diving, Inc.

*P.S. Thanks very much to Stang for showin' me how to put up one of these articles on e-blogger. This is the first one I've ever put up all by me-self. Before that, I had to depend on you guys to put these things up for me. Not exactly a tech genius, me. Guess I shouldn't ever bother applying for a geek squad job at Staples! "Don't call us, we'll call you..."

At some point, the logjam will explode, exposing the shape and substance of the 2026 Yankees. We might not like what we see.

A big fat nothing...

That's what we got this week: A big, fat, humongous zilch, as we wait for... well... something.  

It's like that interstellar spaceship, 31/ATLAS. It's passing us by, heading for Ice Planet Hoth. We prepared ourselves for an all-channels "PEOPLE OF EARTH..." message from Thanos, or Dr. Manhattan, or Ming the Merciless. Somebody. Anybody. Instead, we got the FIFA Peace Prize and astronomy's version of the Epstein files - to be forever sat upon and kicked down the road, a big fat nothing. 

Bombs keep dropping, prices keep rising, bodies keep piling up, and everybody sits around, waiting for... something.

So why would the Yankees be different? Cooperstown Cashman went to the winter meetings in Orlando, kicked a few tires, maybe tried a Hogwarts Blooming Onion in the Harry Potter theme pub. He saw no free agent worth bidding on, no trade worth pulling the trigger on, and went home without even visiting the Villages, in a quest for some golf cart sex. And here we are, on the other side of what used to be winter's most defining week, having accomplished... well... a big fat nothing. 

The Orioles, Redsocks, Blue Jays and Dodgers all improved. The latter seem dangerously close to landing Skubal and making 2026 irrelevant. The Mets still sit atop the biggest pile of money aside from the one in Elon Musk's dirty conscience, and the Yankees keep waiting... 

The good news? We haven't done anything stupid. The bad news? We seem to have no agenda. We wait for somebody to break the logjam - to sign Kyle Tucker, Cody Bellinger or Tatsuya Imai. We wait for a big fish to graze and move on. We talk like the Yankees of old, but it's just muscle memory. If we were really all-in on Bellinger, as we claim to be, we could have taken him off the board with an offer. But we didn't.   

The Yankees are waiting and watching. If not for the Rule 5 draft - their first pick in 14 years, in which they selected a 25-year-old RH bullpen widget - there would have been no reason to hang around Thursday. Today, they're probably already home. 

Weird winter, thus far. Earthquake in Alaska. Flooding in Washington State. Twenty-four inches, already on the ground, in Syracuse. A long, cold one is coming. And for now, a big, fat nothing.  

Music to our ears

 “I haven’t accomplished anything,” Cashman said Wednesday.

He just lost Edwin Diaz. Will Steve Cohen take it out on the Yankees?

Yesterday, the unstoppable Dodgers - baseball's version of Covid - strengthened their stranglehold on America, signing the best closer on the market, right out from under the burst corpuscle nose of their richest competitor. 

The Mets - and zillionaire owner Stevie Cohen - were left with the door prize known as Devon Williams, whose career achievement has been to break the Yankee Beard Ban. (Note to Met fans: He's all yours!)

That leaves Cohen and his aircraft carriers full of money looking for someone to accept his cash and make him whole again. Surely, he will follow the playbook of all schoolyard bullies: Beat up the nearest wimp. 

That's us.

What better way to showcase his Hegsethian manhood than by outbidding the Yankees in some suddenly manufactured, existential auction? That could mean signing Cody Bellinger - because he can - or the Japanese starter, Tatsuya Imai, or Alex Bregman, or Dopy Dildox. Doesn't matter. The Dodgers just punked him with the Whoopie Cushion, and Cohen - in the manner of narcissists everywhere - needs to re-exert himself as NYC's Big Chief Lug Nut.  

Amid the signings of Diaz and Kyle Schwarber (by the Phillies), the Yankees yesterday did - what's the word? - Schmegma? Lymph? Bupkis? They did nothing. You could say that Cooperstown Cashman is lying in wait, preparing to pounce. You could say that the front office is fully armed, ready to charge. Hell, you could say anything. What you can't say is the Yankees have yet to reveal a strategy to improve their chances in 2026. They are waiting to see what the Mets, Dodgers, Redsocks and Blue Jays do. Then, I assume, they'll make adjustments. 

Last year, after Juan Soto went to the Mets, the Yankee reactionary strategy seemed to work. While the Mets were realizing how dreadfully they had overpaid for Soto, the Yankees quickly signed Max Fried and traded for Bellinger. In the end, the Orioles and Rays fell apart, Boston's youth movement proved to be a year away, but the Blue Jays ate our lunches. 

It's hard to imagine the Yankees improving in 2026 without at least one major addition to the pitching staff. The question now: Will they have to beat Cohen, and his newly bloodied nose? The last thing Food Stamps Hal seems to want is a bidding war. It looks as though that's what he's going to get.

This week, the Yankees could face a knockout blow

It's coming, straight at us...

I'm not talking about 3I/Atlas, the "comet" that is obviously an alien probe to phone home about whether intelligent life exists on Earth. 

I'm not talking about the KC Chiefs, who dominated pro football and pop music culture through the first half of the 2020s, and who now look old and tired.

I'm not talking about the looming recession, or Trump's gilded Walmart ballroom, or even the Golden Globes' snub of Sydney Sweeney's big punching bags in her boxing movie. 

Nope, what's coming is Big Stevie Cohen, large as a Macy's parade balloon, and his infinite checkbook. It has so intimidated Hal Steinbrenner that the Yankees already sound like also-rans in the upcoming bidding war for Tatsuya Imai.

Yes, Tatsuya Imai - the lone top Japanese free agent in this decade to NOT want to join the Dodgers. Every dime in Hal's hope chest should go into signing Imai - fortifying the pitching staff and standing up to Big Stevie. 

But here's the rub: It might not be enough. 

The Yankees painted themselves into a corner - actually, a centerfield - when they offered Trent Grisham $22 million to stay a year. Of course, he was gonna take it. As a result, to sign Cody Bellinger or Kyle Tucker will force a massive domino-drop of secondary trades, most likely involving Jasson Dominguez and/or Spencer Jones, and they still might not save the pitching staff. 

The Yankees need Imai more than Trump needs compression socks. But the problem is Cohen, the modern day Boss. Last year, he kicked poor Hal's ass in the bidding war for Juan Soto, (even if it left the Mets in tatters during the regular season.) This week, he can do it again in a straight up auction for Imai.

It's coming - that moment in the movie when Hal either stands up to the bully or accepts the Yankees' fate in the second half of the decade. 

It might happen today: Somebody signs Tucker, which leaves everyone chasing Bellinger, which causes his value to spike, which leaves the Yankees out in the cold, which makes Imai the biggest fish in the pond, which means... well... God knows what? Big Stevie's knockout punch? 

We don't know what's coming. 

What we know is that it might be really bad.

For the first time since we began counting, the Yankees could lose the Tabloid Covers Race in NY

Forty covers left, give or take. 

Too close to call.

Today, as they launch the '25 Winter Meetings, the Yankees cling to a supermodel-thin, six-page lead in the annual IT IS HIGH Tabloids Back Pages Race, the covers we have covered since 2019.

With three weeks left, it's a photo finish between the Yankees and the Knicks - the closest in IIHIIFIIc history. For the first,  time ever, another organization could dethrone the Bombers as NYC's premier sports team, in terms of free ink.

Hal Steinbrenner ought to take notice. The Winter Meetings offer a chance to sign a big free agent, clinch their seventh covers title, and secure their place atop Gotham's pecking order. But if they fail, we could be witnessing a sea change in New York - a long time coming, and maybe a long time before it returns.

Three years ago, the Yankees won with a mere 150 covers, beating the Jets by 14 pages. (That was the year of Aaron Rodgers.) Until now, 2023 loomed as the closest the Yankees have come to losing NY. 

Since 2019, when we began counting, the Yankees have never been challenged, as the way they will be this month. Even if they do hold on, their margin will be perilously thin. 

Consider the records...

2025: 176.5 (1st, Knicks 2nd at 170.6) 6 covers.
2024: 215 (1st, Mets at 160) 55 covers.
2023: 150 (1st, Jets at 136) 14 covers.
2022: 210 (1st, Mets at 147) 63 covers.
2021: 207 (1st, Mets at 156) 51 covers.
2020: 152 (1st, Mets at 132) 20 covers.
2019: 211 (1st, Mets at 190) 21 covers.

It will go down to the wire, perhaps decided by a spoiler. The awful Giants are chasing the NFL's top draft pick. St. John's basketball is 5-3 on the season. Who knows what the last three weeks will bring?

Today, the Post runs with the Knicks, while the Daily News reaches back into history to grieve over Don Mattingly's Hall of Fame snub. In another universe, that would have been a Yankee back page. But Mattingly is too far removed from his old team for them to claim him. Sad. 

So, the Winter Meetings are here. Will the Mets outgun us? Will the Knicks keep winning? Three weeks left. Forty covers. It's gonna be close. 

On Winter Meetings Eve, scattered thoughts...

1. If Toronto had won it, the 2025 world series would have gone down as the most exciting in history. It had everything - close plays, heroic blasts, a miraculous stuck fly ball, A-Rod's analysis - everything. One problem: The wrong team won. It could have been Canada, showing up Trump's ridiculous taunts. It could have been Max Scherzer, the return of Bo Bichette and Junior. Instead, it was the Dodgers, buying another championship, as we knew they would, and as they probably will in 2026. So close.

2. I've got Anthony Volpe Derangement Syndrome. It's been three lousy years, and '25 was the worst. Volpe's .212 BA ranked 24th of 24 qualifying shortstops. Worst in baseball. In OPS, he ranked 21st of 24. They say he played hurt? That doesn't exonerate him. The Yankees finished one tie-breaker game behind Toronto, and a halfway decent SS could have made the difference. I keep reading that the Yankees will seek an OF, a RH catcher and pitching. Damn, we need a decent SS, which Volpe is not. 

3. I wonder if Hal Steinbrenner is getting tired. Based on his recent interviews - whining about rent, luxury taxes and payrolls - has owning the Yankees become a drag? This is a world of impending trillionaires, and $300 million is chump change for those who will party in the solid gold ballroom. I wonder if Hal sees another year of the lost family heritage, hearing bombastic words from people like me, and secretly hopes that Elon Musk or Larry Ellison would buy this albatross. When you see Netflix buying Warner Brothers, like its a carton of cigs at a corner Mom & Pop, you have to wonder what's coming after the looming shutdown in 2027,  Could there be worse owners out there than Hal? 

4. Yes, I sound like a pathetic prospect hugger, but I hope the Yankees stick with both The Martian and Spencer Jones. Give them a shot in spring training. Play the one who performs best. The Yankees need pitching, pitching, pitching, and they can fill the ranks with free agents. The final four teams this year had one thing in common: They played youngsters. The Yankees need to see what their farm system can produce. Even if they fail, it will be fun to watch Dominguez and Jones. And who knows? 

Look Deep Into The Eyes of HAL – Managing General Partner and Grand Poobah of The New York Yankees

 

Strap in, everyone: The Winter Meetings are upon us.

Imagine a convergence of Juggalos, Trekkies, Hells Angels and Joe Pesci impersonators, squeezed into a hotel backlot like those street gangs in the movie The Warriors,  but summoned not by Cyrus - the visionary leader of the Gramercy Riffs - but by the reanimated corpse of Bud Selig, whose body has been taken over by Scott Boras.

That's baseball's Winter Meetings.  

Strap in, everyone - because throughout the years, for better or worse, this is when the Yankees reinvent themselves.

Last year, during these meetings, they signed Max Fried and traded for Cody Bellinger. The year before, they exchanged the farm system for one season of Juan Soto. 

In other Decembers, they landed Gerrit Cole, CC Sabathia, Giancarlo Stanton, Alex Verdugo, Curtis Granderson - all winter meeting babes. The list goes on, too painful to revisit. Every year, the first full week of December begets the future of the Yankees. 

This is the super-moon, the meteor shower, the impending visit from that interstellar "comet," 3I/Atlas, where an alien Bones McCoy is surely taunting Scotty, as they watch the YES Channel. 

For seven years we've suckled at the P.T. Barnum hype teat of Jasson Dominguez. By this time next week, he might be a California Angel. 

Since being drafted in 2019, Anthony Volpe has served as a Jeterian stand-in for "the future of the Yankees." By this time next week, he could be a Brewer.

Already, Internet watering holes are filling with rumors. The Yankees will enter this pageant of prudence in desperate search of pitching, pitching, pitching...

God knows what they will look like next Saturday.

Get ready, everybody. It's coming.

Results, From The Winter Meetings So Far...

 

As the Yankees tamp down expectations, Braden Shewmake could be ready to bloom

Last night, with nothing better to do - (a foot of snow outside!) - I doom-scrolled the Yankee 40-man. 

I did this, so you needn't. I don't recommend such activities. It's like a day trip to Utica: Things you cannot un-see, mysteries you cannot solve.

I found Braden Shewmake.

Yes, Braden Shewmake. He's a 28-year-old infielder who toiled last year in Scranton, hitting .244 with 4 HRs. With Anthony Volpe on the mend, Shewmake is arguably one tweaked gonad from being Opening Day SS. 

I don't mean to pick on The Shew. He's a former first-rounder - (the Yankees love them) - who has played 31 MLB games, with 1 HR and a .118 BA. He bats LH. He's from Texas. His jersey number is "89." In 2022, he ranked fifth on the Braves' prospect list. Downhill, ever since.

With a due respect, when I see a fellow like Shewmake on our 40-man, it makes me ponder the gravitas of the Yankee system. Right now, our depth chart looks as thick as a coat of Windex. (Again, I don't wish to malign the guy; he stole 15 bases last year; speedster?) 

Apparently, the Yankees will protect Shewmake in next week's Rule 5 draft. It's part of Cooperstown Cashman's intricate game of 3D chess. We should breathe easier, knowing the Yankees cannot lose Shew. Right? Show of hands? Uh-huh... 

Lately, all we hear from the Brain Trust is how Food Stamps Hal doesn't want to spend $300 million on the payroll, and the Yankees are already tailgating that number. Last month, when Trent Grisham accepted their $22 million, one-year qualifying offer, Cashman quickly assured us that all was going to plan. He resembled a waiter who just dropped a platter of clams, and shouts, "I meant to do that!"

The Yankees appear to be stepping back from bidding wars on Kyle Tucker and/or Cody Bellinger. Meanwhile, they're talking about trading The Martian and/or Spencer Jones. 

If they're seeking to reduce expectations, they're doing a great job. 

So, sleep easier, folks! Outside, it's a white-out. But next week, in the Rule 5, we're on course to keep Shewmake. 

Apparently, some Yank fans are angry that Devin Williams is a Met. Actually, we should be celebrating.

One of the most heartbreaking moments of my life was the episode of LASSIE, where our hero is presumed lost - gone for good - and the family grieves to remember him. Timmy can't handle it. He runs to his bedroom, flings himself onto the pillows and cries his eyes out. (I'm weeping now, just remembering.) As Timmy rages against God, screaming a Hellish torment known only to Prometheus and Pete Hegseth, from far, far off, he detects a sound. (Woof.) Then, it happens again. (Woof.) Timmy raises himself, blinks. (Woof.) Could it be? It can't be. But it is! Lassie's back! Lassie's alive! Lassie hasn't left us! GLORY TO THE WORLD! WE ARE WHOLE AGAIN!

This is not how NYC should react to the news that Devin Williams is staying.

As everyone surely knows, Williams recently signed a three-year contract with the Mets, for $51 million, or $17 million per season. Seventeen million.

Yesterday, the newly christened lifetime New Yorker went on social media to answer the angry words he has been reading on social media. 

“For a bunch of people that didn’t want me back on your team," he posted, "y’all sure are mad in the DMs.”

FWIW: I did not want Williams back. And I am not mad.

Nope. I am not perturbed, flummoxed or dismayed, though I must admit to being slightly flabbergasted, almost to the point of discombobulation. Yep, I am a tiny bit gobsmacked, but not in a bad way. In fact, I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying, "Meh." We should wish Williams the best, as he seeks to find whatever it was that eluded him throughout all of 2025.

In Williams, the Mets have purchased a vast bouquet of red flags. For starters, he is 31, the most transitional age for a professional athlete since his gonads drop. Hitting 31 affects the jock in the way that puberty does the church choir's best soprano.

Last year, after six great seasons in Milwaukee - a career ERA of 1.83 - he shat the bed. His ERA as a Yankee: 4.79. He lost the closer role and was given better platoon matchups. Didn't help. Now and then, he'd pitch a scoreless inning, to be hailed by the YES team as if Lassie had bounded in from the bullpen. Then, he would fail again.

Listen: If you want to rant - (and we all do) - let's not confuse Williams with Juan Soto, who lapped up every morsel of Yankee fan love and then pissed on us, all for a few extra thin dimes.(He loves only gold... only gold.) Soto turned out to be so pathetic that he actually blamed a security guard for his leaving. There's a special dung heap in Hell for Soto, and we should scrape his name off the bottom of our shoes. He should never hear the cheers of Old Timers Day.

But holding anything against Williams? I say, Meh.

Yeah, last year, he sucked. He squandered our trust. Maybe he'll figure out what happened and correct it. In fact, I bet he throws a perfect inning now and then, prompting the Mets broadcast booth to yell that LASSIE IS BACK!

But I donno. I bet Williams signed with the Mets because his family wanted to stay in NY, his kids are in school, and the Yankees simply didn't make an offer. To Cooperstown Cashman, he simply represents a deal gone bad.

(Woof?)

"It feels good to me to go to a place now where, you know what, it’s easy to hate the Yankees, right?”

Re: THE MATTER OF GRAY, SONNY, V THE CITY OF NEW YORK AND RUDE CABBIES, PIZZA RAT AND INCESSANT MEDIA ASSHOLES... 

Yesterday, Sonny Douglas Gray - aka "Pickles," according to Baseball Reference - addressed the word for the first time since becoming a Boston Redsock.

Make no mistake: Gray is a Redsock, 100 percent, all-in. He has guzzled the Kool-Aid, swallowed the Blue pill, donned the bloody shirt, requested the Grey Poupon. And by the time his 2026 teammates visit Gotham - June 5 - the world will know, once and for all, whether his miserable 2018-19 seasons were due to the mean streets of New York - or the fault of "Pickles," himself.

The accompanying chart shows Gray's rather successful career, with the exception of his time in NY - at ages 27 and 28, peak years for most players. He was one of Cooperstown Cashman's "Great White Whales," ace starters who would win Game One. At the time, the Yankees seemed to pay heavily for him: 

OF Dustin Fowler (played three seasons, a career BA of .215.)

SP James Kaprielian (four years, ERA of 4.61.)

SS Jorge Mateo. (Still going, a defensive fixture in Baltimore, .221.)

You could argue that, in the end, the Yankees didn't give away much. Fowler, Kaprielian and Mateo all showed flashes; Kaprielian looked like the real deal, until he hurt his arm. (Fowler's story was particularly tragic: In the first inning of his first MLB game, he chased a ball into foul territory at Comisky Park and wrecked his knee on an electrical box. Manager Joe Girardi wept as Fowler was carted off the field. He later sued the White Sox and, after a lengthy legal battle, settled out of court. Shades of Moonbeam Graham.) 

Honestly? We've never squared Gray's wretched time in NY. We've never explained his rebound seasons in Cincinnati and St. Louis. Some players - Jason Giambi, Cody Bellinger, et al - seem to be born for NY. (Yet as Giambi showed, the first months can be hard.) Some simply never cut it. Gray is one of the most prominent examples. 

Did we give up on him too soon? (The Yankees eventually traded him for Shed Long.) Or is there something in the NY experience that poisons certain players?

Will the booing of a supercharged rivalry upset Pickles? 

On or about June 5, we'll know.

Toronto signs some Ponce

Fly like an Eagle. To Toronto.

He played in Pittsburgh, he played in Japan, he dominated Korea last year. Can he do the same here? Well, he developed a Yesavage-type curve/changeup/dipsy-doodle before the Korean season by working out with Pittsburgh pal Clay Holmes. It's also reported that he had to learn a new grip to better accommodate his hands, which are bigly. That's a new one. Guess his massive mitts couldn't effectively find their way around a baseball. 

Regardless, his stats from Korea are ridiculous. I think the article said a 1.79 ERA. Of course, it was Korea. So who knows.

But, but, but...this potentially gives Toronto a pretty solid six-man rotation. While we'll have three guys back from surgery (crapshoots all). Plus Fried, Schlittler and Warren.

It seems so quintessentially Cashman.

Who, of course, has done nothing so far. But I'll give him a break. I mean, we only need a bullpen, a starter or two for if/when the crapshoots turn out crappy (Cole will not be Cole and neither will Rodon), a third baseman who can hit (you know, like the one we traded for Dopey Devin), a real shortstop, a reliable left fielder and a catcher who can hit.

Plenty of time, plenty of time...

YOU have been warned . . .

               2 0 2 6 6 6 

The Hot Stove is upon us. RUN!

The Winter Meetings - baseball's version of a Juggalos gathering - are a week away.

The Mets just signed their first ex-Yank of the postseason.

Cooperstown Cashman is making calls, chasing his newest White Whale.

If you've got any serious drugs - I mean, felony grade, maybe a three-month sleep gel? - now is the time to uncork. According to the Internet, Cashman may be on the verge of his first winter crime against humanity. 

Actually, he started last month by offering Trent Grisham a $22 million contract, and Grish took the hook. That leaves the Yankee outfield in a logjam, with Cashman charged with setting the dynamite. 

Last night, the Mets reacted. They signed last year's biggest Yankee disappointment, Devin Williams, a man whose only achievement was to end the Steinbrenner Beard Ban. They'll have him for three years. I speak for the Yankiverse in saying, "He's all yours!"

Unfortunately, the Yankee bullpen right now looks like that Jersey Giants' place-kicker who last night channeled Anthony Volpe in the world series - whiffing entirely on a field goal attempt. (It's a future NFL classic, almost on par with The Fumble, although - honestly - nothing can beat The Fumble. On the Manning Cast last night, they were practically playing it on a loop. It's for the ages. Google it.) We're so thin that Jake Bird looks like an option, and his Yankee career ERA stands at - lemme get the calculator, hmm -27.00. That's a fine piece a' bombing.

Today, the rumor mills are grinding about a possible Yankee trade with Miami - the people who gave us Giancarlo and Jazz - for Sandy Alcantara, three years passed Cy Young and just one beyond Tommy John. He's 30, finished nicely last season, and the Marlins are ready to deal. He will draw a bidding war of prospects, and it looks as though we will soon learn how coveted Spencer Jones truly is, outside of the Yankee hype bubble. Jones - who resembles a young Joey Gallo - would apparently be the centerpiece of any Yankee deal, though Mephistopheles always lurks in the players named later.     

The Yankee fantasy goes this way: We get Alcantara for Jones and some magic beans version of Jeter Downs. Then we sign Kyle Tucker and keep The Martian as 4th OF. That looks good. Maybe too good. It looks like just the kind of offer that the Dodgers, Mets, Phillies and Boston can beat, as they all have deeper farms. You can't purge your system every August and expect an endless conga line of youth.

Soon, maybe even before the Winter Meetings, Cashman might make his move. It's a crazy feeling right now. The first Nor-Easter is hitting the coast. We're heading into a slow economy. We're actually pondering war crimes. They days are still getting shorter. And the Yankees are just getting started.

Winter's here, and it's time for the 10 Yankee Questions of the Apocalypse

For 16 years now, the great and glorious New York Yankees - in the words of Kurt Vonnegut - have not won doodley squat. 

Sixteen years... 

Epstein's favorite number. 

Longest drought in Yankee history.  

All the way back to 2009, when Trump's Celebrity Apprentice competition was won by Joan Rivers.

Sixteen years. Yet the owner seems more concerned about the rent he pays on Yankee Stadium. 

Maybe the Mets should outbid him and move to the Bronx? The Yankees could move to Tampa and play at Steinbrenner Field. Big savings. 

Time is ticking on the careers of Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton and Gerrit Cole.  This upcoming season may be their last, best chance at a trip down the Canyon of Heroes. Yet the owner was lamenting the high payroll. 

I wish IT IS HIGH commenters had been allowed in last week's media Zoom call with Hal Steinbrenner. Here are 10 questions I'd love to hear.

1. Will you ever top the Mets in a toe-to-toe bidding war?

2. Will the Yankees really trade Jasson Dominguez, at age 22?

3. How deeply do you plan to raid your farm system, the team's future, in trades?

4. Are you ready for the Mets, Dodgers, Blue Jays or Redsocks to sign Kyle Tucker?

5. Do the Yankees have a Plan B, in case Anthony Volpe simply fails?

6. Short of him dropping his pants in public, is there anything that would cause the Yankees to fire Aaron Boone?

7.  Is Ben Rice the future catcher or first baseman? Do you plan to decide in 2026?

8. Last year, did we see the best seasons we will ever get from Max Fried and Carlos Rodon?

9. With Trent Grisham and Jazz Chisholm, can the Yankees ever be a team that manufactures runs, rather than relying on homers?

10. Are you prepared for the Mets to become NYC's premier team?

10 Terrifying Reasons to Dread What's Coming (for the Yankees, anyway)

Damn... 

Today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed - the glass half-empty, the world off-kilter, the Matrix glitched, the ghosty world around me whispering, "Quiet, quiet, Piggy." 

I look at the Yankees and see the apocalypse.

Armageddon outahere. 

Ten reasons to fear what's coming. in 2025.

1. Owner Hal is already poormouthing about the 2026 Yankee payroll, which will fall well below those of the Dodgers and Mets.

2. That means Cooperstown Cashman must improve the Yankee roster through trades.

3. To do so, Cashman will have to give up the only things other teams covet - the Yankees' best youngish prospects.

4. The Yankees blew up their farm system last August at the trade deadline. They will have a hard time matching other teams' prospect packages.

5. To get anybody of quality, they will have to deal Anthony Volpe, Jasson Dominguez, Spencer Jones - maybe even Ben Rice and/or Cam Schlittler. 

6. Of these players, only Jones and Schlittler might be at their peaks as trade chips. Volpe and Dominguez had disappointing seasons in 2025. 

7. For the last three years, Aaron Judge has played relatively full seasons without injuries. Eventually, that luck will run out.

8. Giancarlo Stanton will be 36. He hasn't hit 30 HRs in a season since 2022. He is not getting younger. 

9. There is no guarantee that Gerrit Cole, at 35, will be the same pitcher he was before surgery.

10. The AL East will be baseball's toughest division in 2025. The Redsocks wave of prospects will be peaking, Toronto is here to stay, and one of these years, all that talent in Baltimore will coalesce. 

Mamdani is said to hate the Yankees. NYC is ready to become a Met town. 

The days are still getting shorter. 

THIRD IN A NEW SERIES CALLED: WHEN REAL MEN RAN THE YANKEES – PART 2 – "DA'BOSS"

Always the beloved prankster, here's Hal's Daddy daring Yankees beat reporters to pull his finger 

Mike Tyson says that everybody has a plan until they get socked in the mouth. Brian Cashman has a plan. He should brace for impact.

Last week, while Hal Steinbrenner was publicly poormouthing over the Yankees' 2026 payroll, Boston traded for Sonny Gray, and Toronto signed free agent Dylan Cease. 

It left me recalling a song by John Mellencamp that goes, "It aint the end of the world, but you can see it from here."

Listen: Neither Gray nor Cease is the nuclear bomb that imperils the '26 Yankees. But you can see it from here.

The big punch is coming, and if there's anything to be gleaned from Hal's sad moment with the media this week, it's that the Yankees' plan is to clutch their wallet and wait for the bargains to emerge. 

They are no longer MLB's premier franchise - haven't been for years, and they soon might not even be NYC's - whose bold moves set the winter agenda. Though they still possess perhaps the most lucrative fan base in American sports, they act like your Aunt Prudence, clipping coupons and combing the bargain bins for old 8-tracks of the Guess Who.     

The big fish are the Dodgers and Mets, who will spend whatever it takes to dominate the upcoming free agent winter. Once they are sated, the Yankees will bid with the Phillies, Cubs, Boston, Toronto (and probably still the hungry Mets) - for the leftovers. 

Make no mistake: There are gems to be had. Jiggering the scrap yards has been Brian Cashman's greatest skill as a GM. But his downfall has been in finding that ace pitcher who would lead the Yankees to a world series. 

Don't worry: That pitcher is not Sonny Gray, and it's probably not Dylan Cease. But soon, the Dodgers and Mets will make their moves. The Yankees will bid just enough to come in second. The plan is simple: See what happens.  

Black Friday Special

Thanksgiving is over and it's time to Deck Mel Hall with boughs of holly because it's Hal Steinbrenner's favorite season. No, not the off-season and certainly not the baseball season. Those two cost too much money...  

It's shopping season, and AA and I are kicking it off with a Black Friday Special... 

The CASHmere Sweater

 

Keeping warm during the off-season requires more than a hot stove.

 

Show your fealty to the New York Yankees with this this unisex turtleneck CASHmere sweater, named for 2025 General Manager of the Year Candidate Brian Cashman. 

 

While the playoffs may be a crapshoot there is nothing crappy about this GOAT soft yarn sweater complete with a felt New York Yankees logo patch.

 

Expertly assembled, the CASHmere sweater provides a luxury experience mirroring the team and the man it honors.  

 

·         The Elite Large Pal-Hole™ with ribbed stitching, located at the top of the sweater, is both a tribute to the Yankee infield and offers a perfect way to pull the sweater over your head.

 

·         The Ralph Lauren inspired rib design at the sleeves and neck is an homage to past championships and is stitched together using remnants of older “classic” fabrics hand selected by Mr. Cashman himself.  

 

·         Your purchase Includes a state-of-the-art analytics “How To” guide telling you what days to wear the sweater regardless of the actual temperature.

 

$495 (Pinstriped pants not included.)

Disclosure:

 

Sweater may unravel at inopportune times. Avoid wearing in the month of October. Money from the purchase of the CASHmere sweater will not be used toward operating expenses or appear in any way on the New York Yankees profit/loss statement.

 

Dear Mr. Steinbrenner: At some point, you must stand up to the bully

Dear Madam or Sir,

Didja see what those dirty rotten Mets just went and did? Unbelebable! They traded Brandon Nimmo, a lifetime Met, leaving a big-ass hole in their outfield. Hah. We should start drinking, right?  

Uh, well, why isn't anybody hoisting a grog? Everybody looks a bit stressy, woeful, downcast. It always gets this way when Daddy poormouths - as you did last week - about paying the rent. 

It's the way you've been grumbling lately, while the Mets just grin.   

That hole in their outfield? It won't last long. They might decide to sign Kyle Tucker or Cody Bellinger, or both. They might just headfirst into bidding wars, and if so, Yank fans have dark fears over how they will end.  

Sir, at some point, you must face off against the schoolyard bully - super-billionaire Stevie Cohen - yep, the guy who kicked your ass last year in the chase for Juan Soto. 

Once again, the Mets may seek to sign one of your main free agent targets. 

It won't do any good to call Cohen and plead prudence, as you've done in the past. He is the pimply eighth-grader who decided your bike belongs in his garage.  Meanwhile, you're the pipsqueak who thinks everybody can get along, if they simply go behind closed doors and divvy up the work force. Nobody needs bidding wars. They should just do what owners always do... collude.

Soon, maybe this week, Cohen is going to declare interest in Tucker and/or Bellinger, and back it up with more money than the Tampa Rays pay in a year. He won't be alone. The Dodgers, Cubs, Phillies and maybe even Boston will join the bidding. 

I can't tell you who to sign. But this business of finishing second in free agent bidding wars needs to end.

Yes, those awful, mean-old, hedge fund billionaires have more money than you. And yes, it's terrible - just terrible! - that the taxpayers of NYC expect you to pay rent on Yankee Stadium. How dare they! Commies! 

Sir, at some point, you must stave off the bully - beat the Mets in a contract war. You must show- (even if it's not true) - that the Yankees are still New York's top team. Right now, that perch is perilous. 

I know you don't want to hear this, but this winter, it's time for you to dig deep... and spend. 

WISHING EVERYONE OF YOU A THANKSGIVING THAT'S WAY ABOVE AVERAGE . . .

 

AFTER A BIG THANKSGIVING MEAL THERE'S

NOTHING QUITE LIKE A LONG AND RELAXING BATH. 

THIS HOLIDAY, ENJOY A WARM, BUBBLY SOAK

WITH NEW YORK YANKEES MANAGER AARON BOONE.

  

Ø HA HA HA HA HA Ø

OR MAYBE, JUST ENJOY THAT BATH ALONE WITH

THE IDIOT'S FAVORITE BRAND OF BUBBLY,

MR BUBBLE !

Seven Things I’m Actually Thankful For

Yeah, yeah, family, friends, sun in the morning and the moon at night. I’ll save that for the dinner table surrounded by people who, aside from my immediate family, I could walk away from in a NY minute.  

Instead, I’m going to reveal what I’m truly grateful for about being a Yankee fan. 

Number Four will shock you! Number Five will be a letdown. But Six and Seven show promise.

One: They Win More Often Than Not (Notice the non-use of numerals to give this piece more heft.)

With the exception of the playoffs, and I’ve heard that’s a crapshoot, the Yankees always give me a reasonable expectation of winning. As my fellow (and gal-low?) Giant fans (and Jet fans) know, winning is not to be taken for granted.

Two:  We Live In The Future

When I first moved to Los Angeles in 1981 my ability to follow the team was limited.  Basically, box scores in the LA Times with short summary like, “ Jerry Mumphrey went 2 for 3 with a double and Doug Bird picked up the win in relief as the Yankees defeated the Orioles 5-3.” 

That was it.

I would suffer through February waiting for the Street and Smith to show up at the Thrifty. Or, if I just couldn’t take it anymore, the Atherton one that always sucked.

Today I watch pretty much every game and watch it when I want. Fast forward certain players at bats. (Cough. Volpe.) Blast through the commercials. Read blogs. Write blogs. Read the NY Post Sports section, the NY Daily News Sports section, The Athletic...

I really need to get more of a life.

Which takes me to…

Three – Most Yankee Games Begin at Four O’Clock PST

I’m old. Yankee games at four are like the Early Bird Special. I’ve already run my errands. If I can just make it to four my day is effectively and mercifully over.  Three-hour ballgame. Eat dinner. Read a book. Meditate. Rinse. Repeat.

This doesn’t work with the Knicks. Even though it times out the same, basketball requires an attention span that I don’t have. Plus there are always interruptions… My family comes home. I’m getting phone calls from friends . Suddenly it’s the third quarter and Karl Anthony Towns has four fouls and I don’t know how.    

Number Four -  Throwing A Plugged In Toaster Into A Bathtub

I don’t know if this actually is able to kill someone. I saw it in a James Bond movie when I was a kid. Then again I once saw a movie starring Dick Van Dyke that had a car that could fly and go underwater.  The closest I ever got my car to flying was doing the Rene Julian thing with my family’s FIAT 124 by setting up a ramp behind the PathMark.  

Number Five - The Hot Stove

The Yankees are a giant puzzle that was purchased for a dollar at the Goodwill. There are always pieces missing.  Even though virtually nothing I think they should do actually gets done it's fun to try to solve it anyway. 

Number Six  -  Aaron Judge

I’ve been a Yankee fan since the early 1960’s.  I had the Roger Maris Home Run Trainer and my first glove was a Mickey Mantle Tripe Crown but I was too young to really appreciate who these guys were. By the time I was old enough Mantle was in steep decline and it wasn’t until my college years that there were players worth following.

Aaron Judge is THE best ballplayer on a team that I have rooted for that I have ever seen. It’s not even close.  

He isn’t my favorite Yankee BTW. I don’t currently have one. Munson, Mattingly, Matsui were special to me but Aaron Judge is an absolute pleasure to watch.

 

Number Seven – It is High It Is Far It Is Caught

Having the opportunity to be a part of this group of writers and readers is one of the great joys in my life.  To have a place to put down my thoughts about the Yankees and about life…

To read everyone else thoughts and marvel in the infinite creativity that we collectively have to basically say that Hal is a bad owner, Brian is a horrible GM and Aaron Boone is, and I mean this with no disrespect, a moron. Over and over again, and manage to keep it fresh and relevant, helped only by the fact that Hal really  is a bad owner, Brian really is a horrible GM and Aaron Boone is, and I mean this with no disrespect, really is a moron.

I’m particularly in awe of, and thankful for El Duque, who, rain or shine, delivers humor and wisdom about this team… Every. Single. Day.  For years!

I do not know how he does it but I’m truly thankful that he does.

So to all of you, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, which puts it somewhere near my Solar Plexus, (I don’t really know. I went F, F, D, F in 10^th Grade Biology.  I was better at Social Studies and English – except for punctuation. I’m still working on that.)

Happy Thanksgiving To All of You. We have a lot to be thankful for.