Strap in, everyone: The Winter Meetings are upon us.

Imagine a convergence of Juggalos, Trekkies, Hells Angels and Joe Pesci impersonators, squeezed into a hotel backlot like those street gangs in the movie The Warriors,  but summoned not by Cyrus - the visionary leader of the Gramercy Riffs - but by the reanimated corpse of Bud Selig, whose body has been taken over by Scott Boras.

That's baseball's Winter Meetings.  

Strap in, everyone - because throughout the years, for better or worse, this is when the Yankees reinvent themselves.

Last year, during these meetings, they signed Max Fried and traded for Cody Bellinger. The year before, they exchanged the farm system for one season of Juan Soto. 

In other Decembers, they landed Gerrit Cole, CC Sabathia, Giancarlo Stanton, Alex Verdugo, Curtis Granderson - all winter meeting babes. The list goes on, too painful to revisit. Every year, the first full week of December begets the future of the Yankees. 

This is the super-moon, the meteor shower, the impending visit from that interstellar "comet," 3I/Atlas, where an alien Bones McCoy is surely taunting Scotty, as they watch the YES Channel. 

For seven years we've suckled at the P.T. Barnum hype teat of Jasson Dominguez. By this time next week, he might be a California Angel. 

Since being drafted in 2019, Anthony Volpe has served as a Jeterian stand-in for "the future of the Yankees." By this time next week, he could be a Brewer.

Already, Internet watering holes are filling with rumors. The Yankees will enter this pageant of prudence in desperate search of pitching, pitching, pitching...

God knows what they will look like next Saturday.

Get ready, everybody. It's coming.