The Yankees weren't the only thing that came up short this year. Here are some jokes and concepts that never made it to "the show".
Billy Martin, Mickey Mantle, and Andrew Heaney walk into a
bar…
OK, on one level this didn’t really need a punch line
because the punch is already implied.
A Yankee Themed Product
Sancheez
A Swiss cheese food product. Soft. Filled with holes. Something you buy based on a distant memory of it being good only to be continually amazed that it is still in the fridge.
A Fun Fact
“The Yankee manager’s apple wine has been making Jr. HS kids
puke for decades.”
Little Known John Sterling Home Run Calls
As we approach the end of the Master’s sterling career it is
time to look back on some of his achievements. Calling 5060 games in a row
comes to mind and of course his win warble.
But truth be told, it is his ability to create unique and
personal Home Run calls that distinguishes him from more ordinary sportscasters.
While we all know the famous ones such as its Gleyber Day (Heard
with less and less frequency) and Bern Baby Bern, which sadly was also used by
Dupont to promote napalm, there are a number of more obscure calls which deserve
our attention. Here are just a few.
Don Slaught: “Don Slaught brings the onslaught.”
Matt Holiday: "It’s a Home
Run for holiday. He’s home for the holidays. He hit that one all the way to his
home in Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping' down the plain. And the wavin'
wheat can sure smell sweet. When the
wind comes right behind the rain. Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk Makin' lazy circles in the sky."
Jesus Montero: "MonTERO
tears the cover off the ball. Somebody get this man a tub of ice cream. I can’t believe this fat fuck hit a home run."
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9 comments:
Don't forget the other salient point about Sancheez:
We kept it in the fridge long past it's expiration date. But we're not throwing it out just yet.
"I can’t believe this fat fuck hit a home run."
Bravo and Brava!
I'm sorry. I've lost track. Which fat fuck are we talking about?
A Truism
Yankee things never change
An Adage
In the end you only regret the prospects you didn't trade
A Maxim
You can't teach an old GM new tricks
An Aphorism
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; Give a man a bloated contract and you must sell a shitload of ballpark hot dogs to feed him for a lifetime.
Love it, Doug!
And hey, I remember when Montero was a can't-miss prospect. Ah, but I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now.
Which reminds me: did ranger actually say that the Yanks had 3 SS prospect, they couldn't possibly all miss?
I just got the joke!
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Cervelli, Montero, Murphy, Romine, Sancheeze.
Reminds me of that Billy Martin joke.
Q....How many people does it take to kill Billy Martin?
A....One and a fifth!
"Fat fuck" made me do a Danny Thomas spit take. A traditional one, with coffee.
JM,
There's a woman, a sour matriarch, whose judgements and criticisms I have endured at holiday meals for years. Last Thursday, with her mouth full of coffee, I got her.
And I told her that getting her to blow coffee out her nose has been on my bucket list since the day I met her.
Thank you for letting me know. High praise indeed.
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