86-year-old John Sterling may come out of retirement to call the New York Yankees postseason, according to sources briefed on WFAN, the Yankees and Sterling’s plans.
— The Athletic (@TheAthletic) August 22, 2024
“The ball is in their court."@AndrewMarchand has more ⤵️https://t.co/C1JuC7VlQZ
They scored eight runs, all from the bats of Juan Soto and Aaron Judge. The rest of the team? Well, it showed up. Not much else.
That might turn out to be how we remember 2024 - the year when the Yankees brought forth the greatest slugging twosome since Mantle and Maris, and surrounded them with a lineup of Mario Mendozas.
Today, two questions haunt the Yankiverse:
1. Who in hell can pitch the ninth inning of a close game? (The answer, my friends, is blowing games in the wind, the answer is blowing games in the wind.)
2. What batter in this otherwise dead lineup, aside from Soto and Judge, can contribute through the season's final month?
In simple terms, is there hope somewhere in that dugout, beyond waiting for Judge and Soto to hit home runs? Honestly, I dunno. But here is what I consider our best shots, as September closes in.
1. Jazz Chisholm. He might return next week. Depends on whether he does a minor league rehab. Over the last two weeks, before he sprained his elbow, he was hitting .333. Not sure if he'll be compromised by the elbow, but he's our best bet.
2. Oswaldo Cabrera, hitting LH (which is becoming sort of a problem.) Over the last two weeks, he's hitting .346 - 8 for 23, and that doesn't take into account a bunch of line drives that were caught. Do we dare dream that Cabrera is finally becoming a MLB hitter, the one we imagined during his days in Scranton? What's sad is that he seems to be lost in the shuffle, as Boone shows loyalty to Anthony Volpe, Gleyber Torres and DJ LeMahieu. Oswaldo needs more chances.
3. Austin Wells. Another lefty. (Get it? We are top-heavy from that side.) More and more, Wells looks like the Yankee Offensive Game Instigator - the YOGI, our catching hope for the future. He's hitting .302 over the last two weeks, and - at times - he actually seemed to be protecting Judge. Considering Jose Trevino's problems throwing to second, it's hard to not see Wells catching full time in the post season.
4. Giancarlo. A pity placement. The guy isn't showing a damn thing - .232 over the last two weeks - but he's the consummate streak hitter, and one of these days, he'll get hot. The streak will last maybe two weeks, and then the coachman will revert back into a mouse. Caveat: He still can't run, which makes him a singles hitter on balls off the wall.
5. Volpe and Gleyber. Both have flirted with hot streaks, only to turn cold. Their statutes of limitations are both running out. Torres will be gone at the end of the year. Volpe's time as The Next Jeter is almost over. If Oswald Peraza starts hitting, if the toe-tap thing is real, either of these guys could disappear.
6. Anthony Rizzo/Ben Rice. Both are sketchy, rolls of the dice. Rizzo will get a shot at returning. Trouble is, he wasn't busting down walls before he got hurt. Rice simply should not be here. He's a legitimate prospect, who should be playing at Triple A. It's ridiculous to see him sitting the bench.
7. Your name here. Can your grandmother swing a bat? There's that mite, Caleb Durbin down at Scranton, and the Martian is still out there. He went 2-3, and the next day was playing in the Little League World Series, where he sorta shat the bed. If Jasson Dominguez gets hot, shows anything...
8. Alex Verdugo. Folks, it's time to start thinking the Redsocks weren't so dumb after all. (They were right on Benintendi, too. And Youkilis. And - gulp - Ellsbury.) The pitchers of MLB seem to have figured out Verdugo. It looks like he'll never be the star we sought.
9. DJ LeMahieu. This is sad, because he's a great clubhouse presence, and he was on the path to becoming a great Yankee. But damn, this isn't working. The guy is a GIDP waiting to happen, and his fielding has been corrupted. A few weeks ago, he had a nice couple of days. We hoped he was back. It was a false positive. He's 8 for 38 - .211 - over the last two weeks. He's 36. There really isn't much cause for hope, beyond the Biden solution.
 |
| Dugy's Belly Flop is still number one |
If last night were a snack, it would be Pork Rinds.
If last night were a line of poetry, it would be, "I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree."
If last night were an SNL episode, it would be hosted by Steven Seagal.
But but BUT... Last night hardly qualifies as the worst loss of this absolutely gruesome 2024 season.
Sorry, gloom lovers, but that ignominious designation, which deserves a ceremonial urinal in Monument Park, came on the last day before the all-star break, when Anthony Volpe booted a game-ending grounder, followed by Alex Verdugo's belly flop in left field, a moment that will forever define his year as a Yankee, in a soul-crushing loss to Baltimore.
In another season, for another franchise, last night's loss - on fucking John Sterling Night, no less; are they trying to kill him?- could foster a case of P.T.S.D. that would last a decade, but on this Yankees Roster of the Damned, it was just another blown game, a mosquito bite of anxiety that shall be forgotten by the weekend, when this Yankee team delivers its next out-of-body defeat.
To modern generations, the Yankees are not the team of 27 World Championships. They are the team that always shits the bed.
That said, last night was a middling Yankee disgrace, despite some memorable moments of true malfeasance.
1. Trent Grishman slowing as he rounded third, enroute to being thrown out at home. Maybe the guy is just slow, but dashing for home, he didn't seem much faster than Giancarlo, whom he replaced. It's hard to not be much faster than Giancarlo. I doubt your grandmother can do it, but Grisham did.
2. A six-run Cleveland 12th, highlighted by a bad call on a third strike, which soon led to a bases-clearing fly ball that future Met Juan Soto misplayed. I don't want to lay this on Soto, but his route to the ball might as well have taken a detour to Jersey City.
3. A Batman cameo by the entire Yankee bullpen, meaning today the Scranton bus shuffle will run nonstop, full of pitchers whose names we may have never heard before. It will be like one of those Bar Rescue TV shows, where they rip out the paneling and remake a tavern overnight, except instead of liquor, they will only serve only Mad Dog 20-20. Is Scott Proctor still available?
5. DJ LeMahieu failing to step on 1B on a DP grounder. It was a tough play, but the kind he used to make, back in his early 30s. Right now, he's certifiably awful. Last night, he went 0-for-five, seemingly coming up every time with the game on the line - and producing nothing. Listen: LeMahieu is a fine human being, formerly a great future Yankee. But the look on his face is proof that he knows how bad he is.
6. The Yankees going 1-16 with runners in scoring position. Incredibly frustrating. A master class in embarrassment, of course, commemorated by Aaron Judge being intentionally walked, with no ensuing payback by the Yankees.
7. Alex Verdugo going 0-6 and botching a foul pop fly (along with Oswaldo Cabrera) down the left field line. It should have been caught. But look at it this way: Doogie didn't face-plant. So, just another loss. Didn't hurt a bit. Thank you, sir, may I have another? Whap. Thank you, sir, may I have another? Whap. Thank you, sir, may I have another...?
He is trapped, metaphorically. In a box from which he cannot escape. All his assets pretty much garbage.
The NFL Giants of 2024 are in a similar box. The most important position on the team ( quarterback) has three candidates and each one spells disaster. There is little ( read that as "nothing") they can do to remedy the situation. They can't make a trade. They have no one in the farm system ( practice squad). And the clock is ticking.
The Yankees are in a similar situation. A key position on the team is " closer." He assures victory in the close games, where your offense is meager. Our closer has blown 10 saves so far, including the. awful one in Williamsport. In front of the youth of the world..
A genre, by the way, that have only known the Yankees as " losers."
And, like the Giants, there is nothing they can do. If Holmes steps down, as Duque begs, there is no one to step up.
Cashman has built nothing in the way of depth. He has failed at his job. For more than a generation now.
We are in Misery's box.
And there is no way out.
Let's face it: The best thing that could happen right now would be for Clay Holmes to call a news conference, say his arm feels tired, that he needs a few days rest, and he is stepping down from his role as Yankee Closer. The Bronx would immediately explode into cheers of "Thank You, Clay," as hope rained down on Yankee Stadium, and the Baltimore Orioles cursed the last-minute switch.
Holmes would clear the path for his bullpen replacement - we'd hold a primary - following his disastrous outing in, of all places, Williamsport, Pa.
Aaron Boone's job would be simplified, and Holmes' announcement staved off Yankee Closer impeachment movements that were expanding nationwide.
Wouldn't it be nice?
Obviously, in his current state, Holmes must not be subjected to another one-run lead in the 9th. He needs a week off, then a string of solid outings in the middle innings, when he can be yanked after the first sign of trouble. Right now, Holmes has become a Defcon 4 Aroldis, and there is no point in torturing him. He doesn't need to be booed at home. The guy could still can be an effective bullpen asset. At the beginning of 2024, he pitched 20 scoreless outings; he could get back his command in time for October.
But right now, really... the guy just cannot close.
So, who can take over?
Well, that's a problem.
Tommy Kahnle comes to mind. But there is probably a reason why, over his 10-year career, he has only 7 saves.
I was ready to suggest Marcus Stroman - he's a fiery type, who seems to have the mentality of a closer - but then he pitched well in Williamsport, and let's face it, we desperately need starters.
Nestor, maybe? Again, if he's pitching well in the rotation, it's probably a bad idea to move him.
Luis Gil gets mentioned, but that's a lot to heap on a rookie who has already exceeded his innings ceiling for the year.
Closer by committee? There's always that. But guys like Michael Tonkin and Luke Weaver increasingly look shaky.
Lou Trevino is throwing in minor league rehab. Ian Hamiton might return. Scott Effross remains the Babadook. Clarke Schmidt is pitching batting practice. There was that guy, Brubaker, but I think he's gone undercover in a prison movie.
Mark Leiter Jr. has been getting pounded. That guy, De La Whatever, was terrible. (Considering Jazz Chisholm's injury, Cashman rolled a perfect nothing at the recent trade deadline.)
Nobody will trade us anything. If they tried, no closer would make it through waivers. There's nobody at Scranton.
Holmes needs to face the reality: He's lost command, and he needs a rest and a resent. Hey, it worked for the Democrats, didn't it? (And the O's are stuck with KidRock and Lee Hazelwood.)
(To Matchmaker Matchmaker)
Cashman oh Cashman
we know Hal is rich...
Find us at last,
someone to pitch.
Game after game
in late innings it's blown.
So find us a clo-ser,
... of our own.
---
For AA...
Make him like Sparky!
For Hoss,
Wetteland's fastball would be nice.
For me, well, I wouldn't holler ...
a Rivera like cutter so they swing thrice!
---
Cashman oh Cashman
Please go through your book
Because it it time
to give Holmes the hook.
Night after night
we cough up the lead
While you dumpster dive
... out of greed.
---
CASHMAN:
Fellas I've found him!
Have I got a guy for you
He had thirty saves...
in 1992.
Still, he's got good stuff. Good stuff.
So nu? He's due.
His peripherals are amazing
All ground outs. No loft!
We'll use him once and then...
His arm falls off.
---
CASHMAN:
Fellas you'll love this...
This closer's been here before.
He sweats like a pig
but he throws 104.
They go straight as an arrow.
His pitches come in true.
They hit them just as fast...
So we'll turn two!
---
CASHMAN:
This next one has a temper.
A clubhouse chair he'll fight...
But only when he's sober
So we're alright...
----
Cashman oh Cashman
You suck at your job.
Your salary, and our souls you rob.
Do us a favor and quit the team soon...
You can't make a trade.
Can't sign a guy.
Can't draft at all.
Can't win a ring!
...and take with you Aaron Boone.
I don't know what you guys expect of our team. Why, it's August, and it's very hot! And they had to play two doubleheaders. That's four games! And...and they had to play a day game after a night game. And fly to that dumb-ass promotion in Williamsport, PA!
Hey, I don't want to get too Get-Off-My-Lawn-You-Kids here. But your New York Yankees have been looking distinctly...shall we say, unengaged, these days?
I know. The Boone Loon moves don't help, and the awful roster, and the fact that we somehow don't have a closer. But still. A little effort, mayhaps?
I looked it up. The 1927 Yankees played 19 doubleheaders (They swept 9, split 9, and were swept in 9.) The 1939 Yanks played 25 doubleheaders. (10 wins, 10 splits, 5 losses.) All in summer wool, without AC.
Just saying, that yet another thing that makes this team so unlikable is the constant lack of effort. And then there's that closer. The Yanks didn't invent the closer, but for a century, they have generally had the best ones in the business—at least when it came to October.
Wilcy "Cy" Moore, Johnny "Fireman" Murphy, Joe "The Gay Reliever" Page, Johnny Sain, Bob Kuzava, Bob Grim, Ryne Duren, Luis Arroyo, Sparky Lyle, Goose Gossage, John Wetteland, David Robertson, and The Great One. Not to mention the likes of Tom Ferrick, Marshall Bridges, Steve Hamilton, Lindy McDaniel, Dave Righetti, Ron Davis, Steve Farr, Mike Stanton, Jeff Nelson, Ramiro Mendoza, Rafael Soriano, and Andrew Miller.
This Yankee dynasty what never was? Well, we got Machine Gun Sweats and Sherlock.
But this is unfair. There is so much else that stinks about us. To quote the Estimable Keefe, over at keefetothecity:
The Yankees are poor at situational hitting, have an inconsistent and top-heavy lineup, a bad bullpen and a mediocre rotation. They make sloppy mistakes in the field and on the bases and have a manager who puts the team at a disadvantage in late-and-close games. Add all of that together and talent and payroll don’t matter when you’re playing inferior teams.
Can't say it better than that.
If we had a closer...
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
2. Everybody knows that Clay Holmes cannot close.
3. The mere sight of Clay Holmes warming up rouses the opposition into believing they will win.
4. We have nobody to replace Clay Holmes.
5. All our closer options are worse than Clay Holmes.
6. Nobody will trade us a replacement for Clay Holmes.
7. Our farm system has no replacement for Clay Holmes.
8. Boone will not make a change on Clay Holmes.
9. When Clay Holmes does get a grounder, the Yankee infield won't necessarily field it.
10. If Clay Holmes could close, the Yankees would have a substantial lead over Baltimore.
A few days from now, when it happens again, I will be repeating these words...
The YES Network--or the app, anyway--yesterday launched an animated series for kids, alternately titled Bronx Buds and HexClad Presents Bronx Buds. They plan to release episodes on Saturday mornings, because everyone cherishes the memory of Saturday morning cartoons except for kids, teens, recent college grads, and some of the people currently having kids, who are all too young to have watched them. Running time of the first episode is a generous 8:23.
Record in August: 8-6.
Amazingly, we have bypassed Baltimore, held off Boston and now possess the best record in the AL. Really, how dare we complain?
Record in the last 10 games: 5-5.
The great American educator, Dean Wormer, once told us, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." Wise words. That said, here we are, floundering in a .500 mediocrity, battling to hold our own against teams that are positioning themselves for a run in 2025, at the earliest.
Next up, Cleveland, Colorado, Washington and St. Louis. I could list the rest - honestly, it's rather lame - but all will surely boil down to a three-game series in NY beginning Sept 24 against the O's.
Barring a complete meltdown - always a possibility, when two hitters basically comprise your offense - the Death Barge will reach the 2024 postseason. If Aaron Judge and Juan Soto stay healthy, we'll have a puncher's chance, no matter who is pitching and who we they play.
The path to a world series is actually rather simple. Wrap Judge and Soto in plastic bubbles, keep running Gerrit Cole out there, find somebody who can close, and keep gaslighting the world about hitters "swinging the bat good" and coming out of slumps.
Yesterday, well, we sank without a bubble. Shutouts happen. Today, in one of those showcase pinball games, we'll attend the Little League World Series, though the game will - hopefully - be rained out. (I worry about these boutique games, where fields might not be up to MLB standards. They can be be ripe for injuries.)
We have faced the tomato cans, with mixed results. It's probably too soon to worry about Houston, 9-1 in recent weeks. But here we are - fat, drunk and stupid, and sitting atop the AL East. A winning streak sure would be nice...
Mm... mm... agate...
To your right, take a healthy snort of this fine, rarified, felony-grade, kickass agate. It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Consider:
Gleyber's 19th double of the season. (he's 5th on the team, after Judge, Verdugo, Soto and Volpe.) A hustle double to lead off the game. It's been a while since Gleyber showed actual baseball acumen. He sleepwalked through June and July. A hustle double. I like that phrase.
Jose Trevino's 1st stolen base of 2024. WTF? When does Trevino steal bases? He has four in his career, twice caught stealing. It was a botched hit and run, of course. Still, Trevy the Train is now tied with Trent Grisham and Jahmai Jones for 8th on the team in SBs.
Aaron Judge's 44th. Nothing to be said. The greatest Yankee slugger of my lifetime, and that includes Mantle, Maris, Jackson, Winfield, Mattingly and Danny Tartabull. Think about that. The greatest. And Juan Soto might not be far behind.
Oswald's 1st HR, with the certified-as-fresh toe-tap. I was pissed that Oswaldo Cabrera didn't start last night. I mean, the guy ignites a victory, scores from 2nd on a sac fly, and then sits out? WTF? Who's the manager, Gene Mauch? Well, you can't argue when Oswald homers. Can he keep it up?
Anthony Volpe botched an easy pop fly, nearly wrecked the game. He's been hitting lately, so I don't want to criticize. But I don't think he'll win the 2024 Gold Glove. (He ranks 5th in the AL in fielding percentage. His 13 errors are third highest.)
Clay Holmes pitched a 1-2-3 ninth. I'd forgotten such outings existed. But the agate says otherwise.
This fellow, Judge, doesn't belong in Little League.
Seriously, where does he get off, a fully-grown man playing against children? It's not fair. You'd think the parents running MLB would not allow a teenager to compete against 12-year-olds. Somebody could get hurt.
Seriously, has anyone checked his birth certificate? Look at him. He's at least 14. His testicles must have dropped. Watching him play against children, it's just wrong.
That said - hey - I'm glad he's on the Yankees.
Like, the other night, there he was, coming to bat after the other team walked the Yankees' second-best hitter, who'd be first best hitter on any other team, including the Dodgers. But on the Yankees, Juan Soto is the second-best. And so the White Sox walked him... to pitch to Judge.
In that moment, I thought, "What a clever and creative thing to do! It's as if they're saying to the world, Judge should not be playing in this league, and we will protest by standing up to Goliath, to this outsized bully!" I yelled to the TV, "Smart move, Chicago! Maybe it will work!"
Well, it didn't. Not a whit. And mark my words: If the owners of baseball let him continue to play Little League, somebody is going to get hurt. He's just too big. It's not fair. Someone should intervene. Williamsport deserves better.
That said, this fellow, Judge, he's pretty good.
 |
Nope, the epic moment of singularity came when Oswaldo Cabrera - a career .232 disappointment - streaked around third and didn't stop, scoring from second base on a fly to center, where two White Sox outfielders intertwined, in a reenactment of the recent Olympics synchronized swimming competition, at the warning track.
It happened because the third most dangerous Yankee - (over the last two weeks , anyway) - was streaking around the bases, and I'm talking about our Oswaldo.
For three years now, Yank fans have waiting for Oswaldo Cabrera, the switch hitting everyman who belted 29 HRs in the minors in 2021, and who looked like our future franchise SS in the days before Anthony Volpe.
Three weeks ago, when the Death Barge traded for Jazz Chisolm, it sorta looked like the end of the conga line for Oswaldo. Third base was no longer an option, his BA was lagging in the .230s, flatlining since his hot opening weekend in Houston. Like so many other Yank prospects - including the other Oswald, Peraza - Oswaldo looked like a guy destined to come and go, and never reach full potential until wearing another uniform. Then came Tuesday's elbow injury to Chisolm, a sad development you couldn't wish on anybody, which cracked open the Oswaldo door for perhaps one last shot.
Check out the numbers over the last three weeks. Yeah, it's a small sample, but I can tell you what those numbers don't: The guy's been hitting line drives. (Last night, one snared by the first baseman supposedly hit 110 mph.) I know, I know... this is probably just another tease. But Oswaldo is still 25 - two years from peak foliage - and with DJ LeMahieu still watchiing called strike threes, it's time for one last audition.
I mean, damn... We just watched a guy score from second on a sac fly. That's exciting. Let's see more. Please, Mr. Boone. LET'S SEE MORE.
Who could have predicted that the Sabremetricious insistence that all players slide all the time, hand- and head-first, would come back to haunt us?
(Noticed, incidentally, that Miguel Andujar was in town this week with the A's, to take on the Mets. Didn't he...never mind!)
Let me re-phrase.
Who could have predicted that Jazz Chisholm would get hurt, and stand to miss so many games?
Well, I did, actually—and so could anyone else who maybe had access to baseballreference. Thanks to that guide—recovered after many years of searching through dark, musty, cobwebbed, rat-infested archives beneath the Vatican—I saw that Jazz had missed 165 games in his previous, three full major-league seasons.
In other words, 55 games a campaign.
Huh.
As the astute Publius has noted, this makes Brian Cashman's latest trade deadline boffo extravaganza almost an exact replica of his 2022 fiasco.
Then, as he notes, we gave up a ton of young arms and the Full(y serviceable) Monty, and got back a banjo-hitting outfielder already on the DL, plus Lou "Not Trevino" Trevino, and Scott Efforts, and I think one other bullpen arm who soon proved useless.
Looking at you, Leiter, Jr.. And that de los Santos guy, and...
Let's face it. It's the same rotten deal, save for the fact that Cashie did not get suckered on another, already-injured-and-always-overrated Frankie Montas. Everything but the Montas, with the Oft-Injured Chisholm subbing in perfectly for the Oft-Injured Bader.
What's the definition of insanity again? Yeah, I thought so.
Meanwhile, we can only sing:
Where have you gone, Scottie Effross?
A nation turns its lonely eyyess to you.
Woo-woo-woo...
Just to back up our Peerless Leader's thoughts on Aaron Judge and Juan Soto with a little history—NOT that I would ever back up his continued, reckless tempting of the juju gods WHAT are you thinking, o Peerless One, juju entities, if thou hearest me please smite him and not me thank you very much—Aaron Judge and Juan Soto are, right now, 1 and 2 in the American League in OPS.
(Or as I prefer to call it, SLOB, for slugging average and on-base percentage.)
No, it doesn't.
In fact, if Judge and Soto were to hold on to those two top spots, it would only be the 6th time in all of our club's history that two Yankees have done it—and the first time in 64 seasons.
The others?
Well, these two fellas, the Babe and the Lou, in 1927 and 1928, then again in back-to-back seasons, 1930 and 1931.
And Mantle and Maris—but only in 1960.
That's it.
That's how rare what we are seeing this year really is.
And Judge and Soto, mind you, are hitting in a lineup with virtually no support around them.
Those Yankees teams of Gehrig and Ruth, of course, were hitting juggernauts, with the likes of Earle Combs, Long Bob Meusel, Tony Lazzeri, Bill Dickey, Joe Sewell, and Ben Chapman on them.
The 1960s Yankees had Yogi, Elston Howard, Moose Skowron, and Gil McDougald on them, among others.
This team? Whatta we got? Well, we ain't got heart, that's for sure. But we do have Flopsie Vertigo, Hammy Cantrun, The Headless Torres, and so much less.
Imagine if some tightwad owner and his idiot GM had let the likes of Gehrig or Maris walk off the Yankees without getting anything in return.
Beyond our powers of comprehension, right? Well, start imagining. Last night on SNY, Sal Licata, Mets fan, was crowing over how great it was going to be that his favorite team would have a shot at Soto in the free-agent market.
Believe it and weep.
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