Celebrates deal with Texas by downing Bigger Mac.
el Duque to join Alphonso in Cancun suburb to drown sorrows in Bartles & Jaymes drinkathon.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Andruw Jones To Rangers
Posted by
Whitey Fraud
at
9:38 AM
File under
Andruw Jones,
fat guys we don't need,
man crushes
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8 comments:
This will turn out to be a good thing for the Yankees.
Andruw will return to his glory years, hit 35 HRs, bat .332, knock in 121 RBIs and win another golden glove.
Due to his re-generated proficiency, the Rangers will win all but two of their games this year against the Yankees, knocking us out of playoff contention.
A new contract, in the neighborhood of $250 million will then be given to Mr. Jones, at which point, the Yankees will trade A-rod, CC, AJ, Chin Ming, and Joba for him, along with the drafting rights to any Yankee minor league players over the course of the next decade.
Letting him get away like this is the second worse choice the Yankees have made in the 21st Century of Futility, topped only by the re-signing of A-Rod some 18 months ago.
As long as the Yankees never intend to win the WS again, this will be no more important a transaction than the tax breaks that won't work to help the economy in general.
Will you be heading to Cancun, too?
OK, OK... we lost him. We probably lost nothing. But considering the amount of money we're shoveling in every direction this year, Andruw Jones looked like a safe bet. That's all I ever was saying. I'm sorry if I bothered you. I'M SORRY I'M ALIVE.
I agree with Duque.
It was a safe bet and would have been good for mankind.
Best shot? He regains form and is a great OF on the cheap while we cross our fingers on A-Jax...
Worst case scenario? All the fast food chains around Yankees Stadium in the Bronx, plus all the KFC and Taco Bells in Tampa, would have seen an economic boon that would have created jobs. And we'd be back to square one with Brelky Gardnabra...
Please bring me back some of those "spices" from your Mexican trip, fellas.
$20 says he never makes a meaningful plate appearance in the majors this year.
$20 says that's a meaningless bet.
Don't they have spellcheck in maternity wards, for cryin' out loud?
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