Red Sox Connection to Chimp Attack !!!

Apparently, Travis, the face-eating male chimpanzee from Stamford, Ct. was, along with his human roommate, a Red Sox fan.

Travis was often decked out in a red "B" emblazoned hat, especially when he took baths with his best humanoid friend, the infamous Sandra Herold.

Normally, it is not permitted to be a Red Sox fan south of Hartford, but these two strangely connected primates did lots of unusual things together:

1. They shared gourmet food dishes, and ordered spareribs, fried-rice and Kung Pao chicken on Friday nights.

2. They kissed whenever Sandra left the house without Travis.

3. They drank high-end Italian wines in long stem glasses.

4. They watched re-runs of Youklis beanings and Pedroia bunts.

5. She laundered his diapers and he fed her bananas.

As the experts are now saying, "Travis had a unique bond with his owner." Just like A-Rod apparently had with his cousin "Judy," I guess.

One can only hope that the growing rumors of pending "octopanzeeses" are false and malicious.

The US taxpayers cannot afford it.