I know what you're thinking: You've lost your mind, Duque. Cannibals are the absolute worst, and everyone knows it.
OK, let's not sugarcoat this: Cannibals have issues.
But at least with a cannibal, you always know where you stand. Comparisons:
If a cannibal stares at you, he wants to eat you. If a Redsock fans stares at you, he's wondering what your cryonically frozen head would look like in the basement freezer of his frat house.
A cannibal won't watch the Miss World Pageant, because it makes him want to order take-out for home health care nurse, with maybe a side order of paperboy. A Redsock fan won't watch the Miss World Pageant because its on against a rerun of "Manimal."
A cannibal considers YES to be the Food Channel. A Redsock fan considers YES to be Al Jazeera.
A cannibal sees Arod and worries about cancer-causing impacts of food-additives. A Redsock fan sees Arod and worries that his shouted obscenities cannot be heard.
A cannibal views non-steroidal Derek Jeter as "free range." A Redsock fan views Jeter as overpriced meat.
Tomorrow: Vandal or Redsock Fan?
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3 comments:
Once upon a time there was a man who was born only having a head, no body. He was a pleasant person though and grew up making the most of out what he had. He taught himself how to move around by rowing himself to place. Eventually he was rolling every where.
One day he left the house, rolled downed the stairs and slipped causing him to roll into the street where sadly a truck was oncoming and ran him over.
When he gets to heaven God tells him "Son, you had quite a raw deal with your life but you made the best of it. And for that, I will grant you one wish that you can make yourself whatever you wish and go back to living." The head man thought for a moment and said "A bird God. I want to be a bird." And with that, poof, he was a bird.
Soaring thrugh the skies and just loving being a live he began to sing with joy when suddenly a large air current pushed him down towards the ground. He was able to recover nicely and looked back at the area in disgust. When he turned back around he found himself face to face with a building and *SMACK*....his life was once again over.
The moral to the story?...this post??...and to answer your question about tomorrows thread???
Stop while your a "head".
Thank you for the handy clip'n'save. It's going in my wallet.
Duque,
You forgot the ultimate confrontation:
If a cannibal stares at a Red sox fan....he sees toxic waste and vomits on the street.
If a Red Sox fan stares at a cannibal...he sees himself and becomes vomit on the street.
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