Kevin Baker's book is here!

Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Hal Steinbrenner, supercomputer: “I’m pretty objective in my thinking. This is business. I’m just focusing on the team, a player. Is the player an asset to the club or not? That’s about as far as I look. I don’t get personal.”

In his first post-A-Rod appearance, the HAL 9000 owner-bot was wheeled into view yesterday to process questions from an assembly of Gammonite interfaces. Usually, HAL beeps once for yes, twice for no. But this time, to dispel fears that the Yankees do not have a super-analytical mind at the top of the beer chart, HAL 9000 spoke, calculated minor algorithms and gave everyone a dazzling glimpse into the digital mind of this super Yankee warlord. Highlights:

On the computational sense of time: "I have not thought about 2015 nor am I going to. My focus has to be on right now."

On the unlimited potentials of problem solving: "Pitching, starting pitching, is an area I believe we still need some help. We're looking at a number of possibilities and we're talking to a number of people."

On "emotional" attachments:  "I love hockey. I don't follow it as much as some people do, probably. I love the sport."

On maintaining a binary hockey modality: "I am a Rangers fan and I root for the Lightning as well. Those would be my two teams. I have no others."

On projecting statistical variations: "Hopefully... we'll have a more normal year when it comes to injuries and the team we hope and the fans expect to see is on the field."

On reality v. anticipated projections: "I wish our Minor Leagues were a little bit better than they are. I wish that some of the prospects we were so excited about had panned out the way we thought and hoped they would. But it is what it is."

On calculating numerical jersey retirement probabilities: " We're going to figure out just whose numbers are going to be retired... Sometime in the next few weeks we'll be talking about it. It could be none, one or multiples. You've been around long enough to know that it's a very special thing for us. It's not something we do lightly."

3 comments:

JM said...

I think they should retire the Steinbrenners' number.

That would be, what, 3,450,000,000?

Bada boom.

By the way, speaking of numbers, did A-Rod or anyone on the Yankees make a joke way back when about him wearing 13? You know, because it's bad luck? Not so funny now, is it, wiseguy?

joe de pastry said...

They don't decide whose number to retire lightly?
Billy Martin????

joe de pastry said...

I just finished reading a book called Reynolds, Raschi, and Lopat by an old Yankee fan named Sol Gittleman. It really cheered me up to read about the great old days. I might read it over and over again for the next 9 months to try to keep my mind off of what the Yankees have become.