T
he baseball world is appalled, furious, LIVID. Those damn Yankees are trying to buy a
pennant. It’s not fair. It’s not right. First, A-Rod made a mockery of the
game. Now, this. They’ve bought Masahiro Tanaka. For too much money. Somebody
should do something. It’s wrong. There should have been a draft, like in the
NFL. The Chicago White Sox should have been able to select him. Or the Cubs.
They haven’t won in generations. Why couldn’t baseball force this man to play
for the Cubs? Let’s hope Mr. Selig does something. He ridded baseball of drugs.
Can’t he stop the Yankees? Mwahhhh-
… Ahhhhhhhh. Oh, yes. Mmm. It’s like easing into a hot tub full
of melted butter. Oooogh, squishy-squishy around the toes. I can hear the whines.
It sounds like soft cooing. Hmmmm.
Wait a minute. Before I pass out… there was something I was
gonna say… what was it?
Oh, yeah…
This is no way to run a baseball team. (Has anybody noticed
that?) Because – oooh, this feels so good – it’s incompetent, it’s stupid, it’s crazy. (We know
this, right?) You can’t just spend a half-billion dollars every few years to
keep from falling apart. Somewhere, you gotta – oooh, this feels so nice – I’ll
take it up later. I forgot what I was saying.
We got our man. Masahiro Tanaka, of the New York Yanakas. But if he chose the Cubs, or Los Angeles,
today we would be screwed. We might be looking at a team comprised of DHs and
duct tape. We have spent $460 million to avoid a Hee Haw reunion special, and
if Tanaka sucks – well, we’re still a few injuries away from Met-hood.
But today, the sound of the squawking soothes us. Mmmm, it’s
so nice. I think I’ll dip a little of this lobster into the butter. Oww. That
was my finger. We have a ways to go.
Posts
4 comments:
we still have some holes to fill from the scrapheap and some question marks and our stable of geezers must get through the season with minimal stints on the DL. but, Damn! it feels good to have some HOPE for 2014. I can't wait for first pitch!!
Anonymoussy is doing his best to throw wet blankets on us but he is no substitute for Alphonso, the most negative of all Yankee fans. Bring me back to earth, Alphonso!!
You have the smell. Here's the sound of Tanaka's song. I'm working on the lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnhAyostYQ4
Yip, That was actually very touching. what a beautiful game baseball is and the Japanese really do get it.
I'll always be a fool and a sucker, any gtlimmer of Yankee hope and I'm optimistic about next season, LOL!!!! Truth be told, we're still in deep sh*t, geriatric line up, no youth prospects, our pitching just improved but BIG question marks surround the others in the rotation,,,,, well, still better to have than have not I guess.
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