Kevin Baker's book is here!

Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Uh-oh. Teixeira's still hoping for his wrist to heal

Over the years, Yankee fans have learned one critical lesson about the way bad news leaks out to the Yankiverse:

Whenever a Yankee gets hurt, and the team says he's fine, day to day, expected back soon, he should be fine... well... gubye, it's ovah, kaputski, he's done. 

We saw it with Jeter. We saw it with Hafner. We saw it with Nix. We saw it with Gardner. We saw it with Youkilis. We saw it with Cervelli. We saw it with Bosch. We saw it with Vidal frickin Nuno.

And we saw it with Tex. Oh, yes, did I forget him? We saw it Tex.

So this is what Tex tells Jack Curry of YES:

"Right now, I’m six months out of surgery. Will I be 100% day one? I hope so... Even my doctor said ‘it’s going to keep getting looser, keep getting stronger’ … I’m a little anxious about the way I’m going to feel, but I know that as long as I’m doing what I’m told, doing what I’m supposed to be doing, that I should be fine.

Gubye, it's ovah, kaputski, he's done.

Listen: At the risk of inciting Yankee food riots, let's step back and think with our heads. Tex is simply worried. That's all. He's prudent to worry. Anybody would be. There is absolutely no reason to OH GOD, WE ARE SO SCREWED, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, WE ARE SO DEFINITELY SCREWED, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? WE DIDN'T EVEN SIGN MARK REYNOLDS, AND WE DON'T HAVE ANYBODY TO PLAY FIRSTBASE, NOBODY, BECAUSE BRIAN MCCANN HAS NEVER PLAYED FIRST, AND NEITHER HAS CARLOS BELTRAN, AND OHMYGOD WE ARE SO SCREWED, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THIS MEANS? IT MEANS WE'RE GOING TO RESIGN LYLE OVERBAY. THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS. OMYGODWEARESOSCEWED. GAHHHHHHHHHH-


1 comment:

JM said...

Sadly, Lyle Uberbay is no longer available.

What about Jeet? I bet he could play first. Especially with all those great plays at SS by the new guy.

Worth a think.