Thursday, April 6, 2017

Latest Prediction - Frazier Will Be Our Next Jay Buhner

As I watched Tampa out-gun and outplay us yesterday, I was reminded of a vision I had a few years back.

" The hairless Yankees cannot win."

Almost every dude on the Rays, and on nearly every team we play, shows up with a full beard, as though they had just hiked the Appalachian trail from Maine to Georgia.

We, on the other hand, look like we were just dropped off in our mother's car pool, freshly showered, and wearing a new shirt from Lord & Taylor.

Frazier was a terror in the minor leagues with his curly, shoulder length " dreadlocks."  Now, like Samson, he is shorn and shiny.  And back in Scranton.

He is a fiery guy and will not take well to this Steinbrenner mandate.  The CHEAP ONE ( Hal, the inheritor ) is unyielding on this one policy of his fathers ( as opposed, for example, to the one that requires winning );  "no Yankee will look unkempt with respect to facial hair or head hair.  All will have $3000 haircuts like the Evangelical Vice President of America."

In the end, Frazier's wrath will evidence itself, and will piss off the Yankee brass.  Frazier's response may well be a less than stellar performance, or "acting out" in a Hooters brawl.  But it will happen. And the Yankees, being otherwise impotent with respect to creative or realistic ideas, will include him in a trade for a starting pitcher.

Needless to say, said pitcher will be far worse than any we have in Scranton, but will play due to another outrageous contract.

Meanwhile:

Frazier will become the next Jay Buhner, and he will haunt us, embarrass us and defeat us for the next 12-15 seasons.

Mark my fuk***g words.

And I am being upbeat.

4 comments:

KD said...

we need MORE bans, not fewer. we need to ban sideways hat-wearing, a la Pineda. Dude needs a brain reboot. maybe that would do it.

Hey! I'm grasping at straws here!

Wezil1 said...

What happened to the Pineda Dog Training collar idea? I have seen those things work- and if hounds can learn, he can.
Fair points in this post - and our man Clint is good as gone. What a front office

Anonymous said...

GOD I HOPE YOU ARE INCORRECT ON THIS ONE....OMG.
BY THE WAY....NOTICE IN HIS FIRST START, JOSE QUINTANA, I BELIEVE, WENT LESS THAN 4 INNINGS AND GAVE UP 6 RUNS?....... GULP.

John M said...

I'm with KD. The stupid uniform and hat crap should be banned.

Yeah, Fat Man, I'm lookin' at you.