Hello, lamp posts, what'cha knowin'? I come to watch yer flowahs growin'! Aincha got no whymz for me. Deedleedeeedee-... I'M WALKIN' ON SUNSHIIII, WOOOOAH, I'M WALKIN ON SUNSHIIII, WHOOOOAH, I'M WALKIN ON SUNSHIII, WOAHHHO, AND DOE NIT FEEL GOOOOOOH!
Oh?! You surprised me! Sorry about that. I was just enjoying a little "me" time. The 2017 Golden Snowball-winning Syracuse sunshine (not to be confused with "golden showers") is radiant, the birds are chirping, the IBS lady is in the shed, winterizing the snow-blower, and THE YANKEES HAVE WON FIVE IN A ROW, BABY, FIVE.
Turned out, all we needed to do was sacrifice one itzy-bitzy pitching prospect (James Kaprielian) to the juju gods, and we wouldn't even miss Gary Sanchez and Didi Watzizname. Considering that we have a boatload of youngsters toiling down in the minors, we should be able to keep up the juju sacrifices all season. I am upgrading my official IIHIIFIIc projection to 88 wins, a wild card challenger.
We are in second place, a game and a half behind Buck's Cucks, and one game ahead of the Redsock '17 Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM).
Good grief, all is groovy.
Wait. Did you know that:
Tyler Wade, playing nearly full-time shortstop, is leading the International League in hitting at .481? He is 13-27 with four stolen bases. Ruben Tejada is third at .438. (But Carrot Top Clint Frazier is at .217. That's why The Master doesn't put stock in batting averages during April.)
Luis Cessa, at Scranton, has yet to give up a run? The entire season, not one run! He's thrown 7 innings, yielded six hits and struck out six. He was always the guy most likely to claim that fifth starter slot - (until "the River" Jordan Montgomery came along) - and now, Luis is finding his groove.
Thairo Estrada, a 21-year-old infielder at Trenton, is hitting .389 and slowly wriggling his way into Gleyber territory. He impressed the clipboards in camp, whacked a couple dingers - (don't make me think you have dirty minds) - and if he has a breakout season - yeah, that "IF" word, always fun - it would give us huge leverage for the future. Last year in Tampa, he hit .290 and was overlooked by the YES-press-mess machine. (By the way, Gleyber Torres, age 20, is hitting .267. But it's too soon to think about batting averages, right?)
I don't want to shortchange the juju sacrifice that we made by sending young Kaprielian to those bitter, cheap-suited, no-name, middle-management gods. Scroll down on this site, and you will see a long list of Yankee pitchers who, since 2006, have undergone Tommy John surgery. What leaps out is that most of them are names you've never heard. They were young men with incredible futures - the stars of their high school or college teams - who one day felt a twinge in their elbow, and their dreams blew up like a Mento in a Pepsi bottle. On the entire list, only one pitcher has ever really rebounded to have a great career - Mark Melancon - and it didn't happen until he was well into his fourth team. All the others were never the same pitcher. Let's light a candle for Kaprielian - and Rumbelow... and Goody... and Lindgren and DeCarr, et al... but when Tommy John knocks, he usually brings along a career counselor.
Five in a row. CC today. In the name of Kaprielian, and in the spirit of Simon, Garfunkle, Katrina and her waves... let's make it six.