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Monday, April 10, 2017

Opening Day, huge crowd, a grand pageant of Americana, and the free world will be watching... Pineda

I'd like to think we are nearing a resolution on Michael Pineda - or maybe a better description is "tipping point." It's not that we have anyone to replace "Big Mike"in the rotation. It's just that, unless things change, we won't care.

We've earned a resolution. It's like a network TV series we've watched for five seasons, and we goddamn deserve an outcome. The bad guy needs to get blown up, and the hero needs to get laid. Trouble is, in this particular show, we're still not sure who the bad guy is. (Spoiler alert: I'm betting it's Pineda.) But, as stated above: Nobody cares. The season finale is looming. It's time for an outcome.

In spring training, Pineda artfully explained to the earnest Meredith Marakovitz how, in previous seasons, he lacked focus. Hence, this year he'd focus on maintaining focus, which is sort of like concentrating, but different, in that it requires focus, and focus is the key. Got that? Focus. Which is close to "fuck us."

We swallowed that Gammonitic slop and pretended to believe it, like receptionists at some Fox News sexual harassment awareness seminar. Yes, this was the year that Pineda "puts it all together" and "takes the next step" and "moves from a thrower to a pitcher" and - well - doesn't systematically choke every time he needs a crucial out. Right?


Then, in his opening game against the Rays, he gave up two two-out, two-strike hits and blew up like a frog in a microwave.

So... today... in front of the free world, (which could include the newly revived Trump and his falafel-toting wing man O'Reilly), Michael Pineda will take the mound against the same team that beat him last week. He'll have the chance to focus - to show the Rays he's learned to focus - yes, to fucking focus his fucking focus.

My friends, the end is near. Pineda is entering his personal No-Spin Zone.

Not that Team Cashman will dump him, if he fails. Regardless of what happens today, Pineda will get the month of April. (If the Yankees owned the Hindenburg, they would have re-inflated it and given it one more chance, thinking next time, it might float.) But unless Pineda starts gaining focus, well - the season finale is near. 

T.S. Elliot once said that what we think is the end often turns out to be the beginning. Well, if Pineda flops today, I predict both tabloid back pages will call for him to be sold to Elon Musk for the next Mars mission. The Yankiverse is bored with this show. The writing has grown stale, and the actors are already looking to their next project. Either Pineda steps up, or it's over. God knows, we've earned an outcome. 

5 comments:

John M said...

That T.S. Eliot was a hell of a baseball guy. Not looking forward to this Opening Day, but of course I'll watch. Can't help myself. Urgh.

Anonymous said...

WHAT DOES "T.S." STAND FOR EL DUQUE?
EVER SEE THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS?

LAUGH A MINUTE POST.
FOCUS/FUCK US...
RE INFLATING THE HINDENBERG TO SEE IF IT FLOATS...
GREAT STUFF.

SO RIGHT ABOUT PINEDA, HE MUST BE DEALT WITH NOW....LETS REPLACE HIM WITH A SHINY NEW LEFT HANDED TOY, (JORDAN MONTGOMERY).

The Ghost of Yankees Past said...

el duque, do you speak about frogs in a micro wave from personal experience?

Anonymous said...

TERRIBLY SEXY.... "T.S"
WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP.....LOL

Tom said...

Pineda must have read this post. How else to explain his best start as a Yankee? He seems to pitch well at home. And he seems to pitch well when nobody expects him to. This will definitely raise expectations. So what happens next.