Friday, August 20, 2010

Other lies told by Roger Clemens

"Throw your slow curve, Calvin. No way Ray Knight can hit you!"

"Mrs. Canseco, these are the best cantalopes I've ever had. I love coming over just to see what you'll serve."

"Awww, honey, I don't even like her music. I was just out on the town with the guys, and you know how Oil Can is."

"Holy crap! A hypodermic needle! Some junkies must be sneaking into our garage at night. I'll get a new lock."

"Well, to tell you the truth, it's torture having that hot liniment rubbed on my balls before a game. Believe me, it's nothing I look forward to."

"What bruise? That one? Uhhhhm... The other day, over at Jorge's, I accidentally sat on an ice pick."

"No thanks, George, I'd prefer to stand. It's good for the circulation."

"Hey, Piazza... I'm sorry."

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