Is Jeet's new supermansion haunted?

Yesterday, Hammerin' Hank Steinbrenner made his annual clodhop into the tabs by suggesting certain Yankees spend more time choosing wallpaper patterns than on the trusty StairMaster. Writers immediately turned to St. Jetersburgh, the captain's new, hospital-sized poonplex overlooking the dolphin-choking waters of Tampa Bay.

But what lurks inside this gigantic luxury box of horror, whose most distinctive feature is the walk-in Portal to Hell, or Scranton? (No. 1, below.) Some say, the place is haunted by the ghosts of girlfriends past.

In the Mariah Room (No. 2), an unexplained
force turns everyone mousy. 

In the Minka Room (No. 3), visitors are known to abruptly
experience a remake of the film "Single White Female."

The Jessica Biel Bathroom (No. 4)

has unexplained toilet backflows.

The kitchen (No. 5) is named for old friend Jessica Alba,
who loves to cook certain exotic dishes.

In the Master Bedroom (No. 6), fashioned as a baseball field,
Jeet loves to stretch out on his side, suspended on an invisible air mattress.

But he does have nightmares.

The inspiration for St. Jeterburgh is the Captain's other year-round home, in Syracuse, New York.