Jesus is coming to Syracuse

Cancel the order on that army of robot Venezuelan bodyguards. Jesus Montero won't have to celebrate Thanksgiving 2011 as the subject of a ransom note penciled by ornery gaucho kidnappers. Nope. He's coming to the safest place on Earth (as long as you have winter tires): Syracuse.

The budding Yankee savior will appear unto followers at the Disneyworld of retail commerce, the famed Destiny USA (above) -- formerly known as the famed DestiNY, the famed Carousel Center Mall and the famed "Big Thing We're Building, and We'll Tell You What To Call It When We're Done."

Jesus shall appeareth at the Cooperstown Connection store next Saturday, November 19. Tickets for autographed bats, caps or whatever start at $55. Sheesh, that's less than a mortgage payment! The best part is the advertising, which recognizes that Jesus might be dealt.

Should we attempt an IT IS HIGH exclusive interview?