Unlike bitter, fat, balding sportswriters, who elect nobody to the Hall, IIH voters vote Ichiro Suzuki as Yankee December Employee of the Month

He's old, he might bat ninth, he might even platoon - in other words, it's all downhill from here - but Ichiro Suzuki has been named by you, the faceless general public, as

IT IS HIGH IT IS FAR'S 

DECEMBER YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

Also announced are:

The Official Movie of the 2013 Yankees:  

"THIS IS 40."

The Official Nickname for Any Rightfield Platoon:  

"ICHY AND SCRATCHY."

Congratulations, Ichiro! And don't worry. Those ugly stories about the IT IS HIGH curse are mere urban legend. It's going to be a great year.