Wednesday, February 19, 2014

John Sterling has it right: You just can't predict the Yankee front office

According to Joel the Postman, early this winter, the Yankee brain trust made an offer to ex-Boston SS Stephen Drew, to whom they are no longer returning calls.

If true, it makes perfect sense. In fact, it belongs in Webster's definition of Yankee 2014 front office strategy: To build an infield, you need at least two outfields.

Imagine this: Before they knew whether A-Rod and Robbie Cano would return, they courted Drew. But now, with neither player coming back, they're turning over the infield to Dopey Dildox and Filthy McNasty, and are no longer interested in Drew.

It's perfect, so clean, so... Steinbrennerian.

This winter, the Yankees have shelled out $500 million in contracts to design a toilet with three seats and no drain. They have a six-man OF and a two-man infield - that is, if a surgically repaired wrist and a 40-year-old ankle can hold up. If anybody in baseball thinks the Yankees can last 2014 without needing infield back-ups, they must be smoking the same animal laxatives that Seattle was, when it gave Joggie Cano a 10 year license to lollygag.

Again, let's get this straight: The Yankees, when they might not need Drew, made him an offer? Now, with dice rolls at every position, they'd rather comb the future scrap heap, because Alberto Gonzalez might be out there in a month? Yeesh.

OK, something's off, here. There has to be something we're missing  Maybe they were working a strategy, making Drew an offer so they could taunt him, you know, like Fred Armisen, "Hey, jes keeeeeeeding." Or were they furious that he didn't take their first offer, back when a season with the Yankees looked like a ticket to the bench, because A-Rod and Cano were in the mix?

Oh, well. Never mind. Who cares? The Yankees are a corporate id. When they get hungry, they eat whatever crosses their path. The p.r. apparatus can clean up the mess later. (We're actually reading stories predicting a big year for Michael Pineda.) Hey, Mr. Hal, how about another DH? You know what they say about baseball: Ninety percent of it is outfielding.

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