1.
Always check the feet. Shoes are the giveaway to
what she’s thinking. If the shoes are caked with mud, and the toes are dirty, well,
she just came in from a wet field. You gotta ask yourself, what the hell was
she doing in a muddy field? Be careful.
2.
No peeing in the bushes. I don’t care how bad
you have to go. I don’t care how long you’ve held it. I don’t care if the beer
is coming out of your ears. Mets pee in bushes. Redsocks pee in the bushes. Yankees
find a restroom.
3.
Don’t get hung up about which one is “the right
fork.” The waiter will try to intimidate you by handing you several. Lift them,
work them, study them – and select the fork that feels right… for you. You’re the one who’s going to
use it. And don’t be one of those pansy-asses who eat pizza with a fork. Pick
it up, fold it, and eat it like a man…
What am I missing? So much to tell them, so little time...
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4 comments:
Get yourself a good, sharp razor.
Never put too much on your plate at the Food Action Stations. They are stationary so you don't have to be. You can always go back for more.
Never masturbate in the bullpen. That might have been OK in the 90s, but everybody's got phones now.
your real age is nobody's business other than your own.
KD- who did Sterling learn that from?
Avoid the clap. It's good advice!
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