The following was posted a short time ago on the Yankees Facebook feed. The caption accompanying the photo was "Team bonding today with hypnotist Ricky Kalmon."
Using some good IIH groupthink, I think we can come up with a few better captions. Examples:
- I want you all to close your eyes and visualize not swinging at a pitch that's away and in the dirt.
- Except for you Sanchez, I want you visualize blocking a pitch that's away and in the dirt.
- ?
Let's hear yours.
Posts
12 comments:
Repeat after me.
A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter...a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter...all hail the evil Yankee empire...a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter...
Actually, never-mind that. Let us all pray to the Spirits of Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Don Mattingly and Derek Jeter that:
Collusion won't effect us when it comes to our huge contracts.
Ellsbury is indeed alive and out there, as we still have no actual visual proof of this.
Bird's feets won't go down a third time.
Stanton bats at least his weight and Judge won't strike out his.
Sanchez to be blessed by the Spirit of Munson and will be given all of his fielding talent.
Only two of our starting pitchers will get season ending injuries.
And there won't be the endless parade of awful retirement gifts being given to CC.
Amen.
Bless me Babe for I have sinned. It has been twelve months since my last confession. These are my sins:
I guessed fastball. All the time. Too many instances to count. It's an addiction.
I helped eliminate the roster flexibility of the richest franchise in professional sports.
I too drastically closed my stance to aim for the short fence of a park designed for lefty sluggers.
I caused agony in faithful supporters of the team by ineffably resembling Alex Rodriguez.
I gaslighted those same supporters by having an objectively solid 21st century season, thus allowing amoral stat geeks to ridicule true supporters who instinctually recognize Yankee greatness
"Please, God, make sure Mr. Steinbrenner has enough money to eat..."
WOW! Well done by all.
We are so good and scary this year that we are sending hopes and prayers to the Red Sox.
"It's now October 2019...focus on the Commissioner's Trophy...now see the trophy presented...to the New York....Mets"
NO TO BRYCE HARPER.
YES TO RICKY KALMON.
SO PRUDENT.
HAL AND COOP JUST SAVED $299,999,950.00 DOLLARS.
HEY, IT'S WORTH A SHOT RIGHT?
Question is, though, All-Caps, can only A (single) shot get both of them?? Not worth wasting your lead, really. LB (No J).
I HEAR YA BROTHER...
Close your eyes before taking it into your hands, and you almost forget that it’s attached to Robert Kraft.
Please, dear supreme person of heaven. let Brian Cashman run off with a waitress.
I implore you, big guy, strip Hal of his money and let his wife run the Yankees.
Dear lord and master of all rocks and shale, let me not catch that STD Millie was passing about.
Dear father of many people, let me hit a curve ball.
Dear Zues, you are still the best. Can you relieve jock itch?
I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.
Post a Comment