Thursday, February 22, 2024

Do You Know Me?


Do you know me???

Here are a few clues:

I'm 28 years old, a left-handed power hitter who generally plays centerfield, but also won a Gold Glove in right (I can also play first, in case your starting first baseman has a history of mysterious head injuries.) 

I suffered a bad injury myself that left me as a shell of my former self for three seasons, but before that I was Rookie of the Year, MVP, and a Silver Slugger winner. Last year I was all recovered, and won another Silver Slugger and Comeback of the Year.

I batted .307 last season, with 26 home runs, though I have hit as many as 47 homers in a season. And even with those 3 bad years, my lifetime OPS is .829.

Who am I?

Do you know me???

I will be 28 in May. I am a left-handed outfielder who is also a power hitter. Though maybe "power hitter" is an exaggeration, as I have never hit more than 13 homers in a season, and my lifetime OPS is only .765.

I was supposed to be the next great centerfielder once upon a time, but I haven't played center since 2021. I did finish 12th in the MVP voting—in the Covid season. 

Who am I?

Do you know me???

I'm 31, and one of the very few pitchers ever to win the Cy Young Award in both leagues. I won the second award just last year.

My lifetime ERA is 3.20, and it has been as low as 1.89 and 2.25, in my Cy Young years.

Ring a bell?

Do you know me???

I'll be 33 in May. I'm a pitcher, too. But my lifetime ERA is 3.65 (and 3.95 last year), and my lifetime won-loss record is just one game over .500.

I stand just five-foot-seven, and I have a history of getting into silly internet feuds with fans, general managers, and pretty anyone else I can antagonize.

Who am I?

Do you know me???


Oh, of course you know me! I'm Jordan Montgomery, and I used to pitch in the Bronx. 

My lifetime ERA is 3.68—and it would probably be much lower if anyone had ever taught me how to pitch here. Instead, I had a terrific postseason last year, helping the Texas Rangers to a World Series championship. 

The Rangers don't seem to want me, but I'm still just 31 and looking better every year. Don't you want to see what it will take to get my wife and I to come back to New York? I sure was hell would!

Gee, does it seem to anyone else that the Yankees are settling for second- or third-best this year...only because of money??? Nah, nope, couldn't be, impossible!


BTR999 said...

Bellinger, Verdugo, Snell Stroman.

HoraceClarke66 said...


What got me started on this was a SABR quiz about Bellinger in which his career was so far above Verdugo's that I couldn't believe it. But it's true.

BTR999 said...

Oh I can believe it. Verdugo could be one and done here. Someone will sign Belli.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Gio signs with Detroit at dumpster diver prices.
HAL says Yankees are still looking to improve.

Trade Vertigo for Gio. That would help. Flip Joggy II for any pitching you can get.
Of course that wouldn't be necessary without a dozen or more Ca$h-tastrophies in the last few years.

HoraceClarke66 said...

HAL was on SNY tonight, pretending that they might still sign a pitcher. Apparently, he has also convinced Judge that this is a reality, which is shameless. Yeah, that's how you build trust and belief in your team, by deliberately deceiving your big bopper, so he will go spreading lies for you.

But then, Judge is paid $40 mill a year to take that sort of crap and shrug it off. We just have to take it.

JM said...

This team is run by nitwits who consistently pursue the wrong players. We will never win a ring in our lifetime as long as these people are in charge.

Aside from that, it's gonna be a helluva year.