The Yankees have five starters. Why could they possibly need Blake Snell?

Sometimes, for wanton self-pleasure, I imagine Hal Steinbrenner rising from his desk, shredding the NY Post and going bonkers berserk, flinging office tchochkes  - his WORLD'S BEST DAD mug, the REGGIE bobblehead, the click-clack toy, his fidget spinner, his POGs and Magic Cards, whatever he can grab- at a cowering Cooperstown Cashman. "WHADDAYA MEAN WE NEED ANOTHER STARTER?" he rages, reaching a level of emotion unplumbed since his last Barry Manilow concert, during the opening cords of Mandy.  "WE ALREADY GOT FIVE!"

And, dammit, Hal's right. In this techno era, you need five, and the Hellbents currently can check that box. There is no need to sign a Blake Snell or Jordan Montgomery, another starter, at least until we've used up the ones we already have. 

Every team needs pitching, pitching, pitching, and - frankly, as currently constructed, the Yankees don't look dadgum awful. With a little luck and some string ties, who knows how far this starting five can go?

But but BUT... let's set the Wayback for Feb. 21, 2023 - one year ago, to ponder what can happen. 

Last year, around now, the Yankees presented the deepest starting rotation in baseball: Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rodon, Luis Severino, Frankie Montas and Nestor Cortes. Five legitimate Cy Young candidates, five former all-stars, five pitchers on the verge of great seasons. And behind them: Clarke Schmidt, Michael King and Domingo German. A depth of starters unknown by any other team.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, how about everything? Montas, Severino and Rodon didn't make it out of spring training. Cortes went down in May. German blew up in July, and long before June 1, Schmidt was our No. 2, and we were down to Jhony Brito and Randy Vasquez, both of whom had been ticketed for a year in Scranton.  

We can pleasure ourselves because Rodon and Cortes are currently throwing well, but here's the reality: The Yankees are a tumbling domino away from Clayton Beeter and the cast of Succession. Our rotation, for now: Cole, Schmidt, Rodon, Cortes and Marcus Stroman. After that, Luke Weaver? Yeesh. 

We can have great hopes for Chase Hampton and Will Warren, but both need time at Triple A, rather than to be thrown to the Vlad Juniors and Gunnar Hendersons of the AL East.

That's why Scott Boras is holding out on Blake Snell: He knows elbows soon will start barking across training camps, and the price of pitching will only rise. 

For me, I'm hoping the only Yankee elbow to boink is Hal's, after he throws his WELCOME TO MYRTLE BEACH mousepad at the wall. You can say the 2024 season hasn't even begun, and yeah, you're right. But the Yankees are already standing on thin ice. Shoes are about to drop. A rain of them. An "atmospheric river." We better have an umbrella.