Sunday, March 31, 2024

The undefeated, untied, 2024 Yankees now face an inscrutable nemesis: Homeritus.

Three games in, three huge wins, three celebrations over our rivals, three blasts from players who spent the spring assuring us they were done swinging for the fences.

I'm not complaining. I've followed this Death Barge long enough to know the difference between tall cotton and a discarded Kleenex, and a 3-0 streak over slimy Houston brings hope, even if it is March and the winds outside rouse nipple-hardening memories of the Ice Bucket Challenge. 

But but BUT, some observations...

1. Congrats to Anthony Volpe and Oswaldo Cabrera, whose HRs last night saved our pasty, pimpled butts. A special hat tip to Oswaldo, who - when interviewed by the Fox Sports postgame lackey -noted that the season is three games-old.

For Yank fans, here's the fear we all have: Oswaldo and Volpe hit a few HRs, feel the power of Gollum's precious ring, and abandon the discipline they've touted for two months. Volpe spent the winter trying to forget the uppercut swing that left him at .211 last year. Oswaldo has reflected on watching Soto's liners (one of which left the park last night), hopefully realizing the career danger of trying to hit every ball home to Venezuela.  

Last year, right around now, the Yankees unveiled several slugger sensations: Franchy Cordero, Willie Calhoun, Jake Bauers, et al. They hit a few HRs, fell in love with the right field porch, and dissolved. Volpe and Oswaldo must stay the course: They are not Judge. They are not Giancarlo. They are not sluggers. They are pests (in the positive sense of that word.)  

2. Clayton Beeter has been sent to Triple A, and 29-year-old Tanner Tully recalled, officially launching the 2024 Scranton Shuttle. The Railriders should change their name to the Busriders. Three games into 2024, the Yank bullpen is already under siege.    

The reason? We're lucky to get five innings from a starter. That leaves an oppressive workload for the bullpen, with no end in sight. (Yesterday, at Triple A, Scranton got a four-inning start by Cody Poteet, then burned three bullpen arms to get through the game.) This work wave will run through the entire Yankee organization - though all other teams will face it, as well. Pitching depth could decide the season.  

Still, it's not a good look for MLB: starters going four innings and replacements being tossed like greasy pizza boxes onto a bonfire. 

3. DJ LeMahieu has a broken foot. We should have suspected this. It will be two weeks before it is evaluated. He will miss April, probably May. At age 35, a foot heals slowly, and LeMahieu has proven to be a liability when trying to hit in pain. That's not a knock on him personally. He's just not the same.

So, it's up to Oswaldo's newfound confidence and Jon Berti, Miami's man of mystery. Still, I'm throwing in with Caleb Durbin, Old No. 96, our 5'6" Mini-Me at Scranton. Last night, the Durb went 1-4 with a double. He played third base. We need a Jose Altuve. 

Or somebody. We need a hero to come out of nowhere. Maybe it's Oswaldo. Maybe Berti. Maybe someone else?

16 comments:

BTR999 said...

Maybe it’s Maybelline.

13bit said...

I'm not huffing that glue, nor am I huffing the false vapors of victory wafting off Yankee scrotums. Those are as real as the chemtrails over Tennessee. We are doomed. We have no pitching. Just wait and I'll try not to say, "I told you so" in late May.

AboveAverage said...


No Doom
or Gloom
Just a Boone
and a Broom
Will today bring
an Easter Miracle?
Marshmallow eggs
And beans
made of Jelly
Things could be worse
and far more Smelly
Playing a team
With an Ass
In their Name

Celerino Sanchez said...

This could be the first team in MLB history to have 2 guys hit .500! The Ca$hman is a genius!

JM said...

Whatever is happening, I'll take it.

By the way, if you haven't bought Kevin's book, The New York Game, do it. It's fantastic, I'd say the best baseball book I've ever read. The weaving of city history and city baseball history--plus some larger national concerns, sometimes--is fascinating. And man, is it well written.

Well worth the money. It's hard to put down, for real.

AboveAverage said...

I second JM’s review of the book of Kevin.

Excellent!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, guys! Means a lot that you guys like it. And, it will mean even more when those Hollywood scouts come around and plunk down major money for a movie and several sequels. And then a television series. And one of those streaming thingies. And the other stuff people watch on their phones...

Hey, right now it sits loftily atop the "Sociology of Sports" category at Amazon, something that is about as significant as the Yankees' place atop the AL East just now.

The Hammer of God said...

And I third JM's review of the book of Kevin! Awesome work, Hoss!

The Hammer of God said...

Duque, I also thought about Volpe becoming trigger happy after the homer. Something that happened a lot last year whenever he jacked one out.

The Hammer of God said...

As much as we like to drub pinata Cashman for being a dunce who only does HAL's bidding, the pickup of Hamilton looks pretty good, eh? John Smoltz thinks Hamilton is for real. I like what I saw from him yesterday, very good stuff. Hamilton might be the best reliever in the Arsenal, top gun.

el duque said...

Mine is supposed to arrive tomorrow.

TheWinWarblist said...

I have no idea how this is happening.

13bit said...

It ain't Jesus, Winnie. It's the dark side messing with us.

BTR999 said...

Gotta say, Soto sure looks to be the real deal so far.
Judge on the other hand looks lost, pulling off the ball with a too long swing.

BTR999 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'll pile on in praise of Hoss's book.

If you haven't purchased one, buy two.

And mr. bit, I do not have that much restraint.