Jolly well sporting of Joey Cora to warn Yank fans about the impending doom awaiting us if his Boston charges reach the playoffs.
Why, they'll be playing with the Furies of Burnam Wood inside their milky breasts! Stoked on vengeance over for poor Raf Devers, who was grazed Saturday and then sent to first without even a courtesy brushback! The idea! How shalt we escape Boston's manic quest for retribution - if they reach the playoffs?
Sadly, for Cora and his justice warriors, Sunday's loss might have brought closure to 2024. They now sit 4 games behind Minnesota for the final wild card berth, with both Detroit and Seattle above them.
Damn. It might just be that they never do get the chance to thank Gerrit Cole for unleashing their inner Ivanka & Jared. We may have dodged a bullet, just as Aaron Judge dodged Cora's purpose pitches.
The Yankees have 12 games remaining:
Three at Seattle.
Three at Oakland.
Three v Baltimore at home.
Three v Pittsburgh at home.
Let's do some math. If we win one at Seattle, two at Oakland, and one against Baltimore - seriously, four wins is not too much to ask - that gives us 91, as we enter the final home series against Pittsburgh - 7 games below .500 and long ago rinsed from relevance.
Of course, the Pirates could be intoxicated by the temptations of Gotham and play out of their miserable skulls. You never know how the nymphs of NYC will affect a cupcake. But the Yankees will have skin in those games, and if they can win two out of three, they'd finish with 93 wins. Write that number down.
Okay, what about Baltimore? The O's play:
Three v San Francisco at home.
Three v Detroit at home.
Three in NY vs the Yankees.
Three in Minnesota.
Let's say they take two against lowly SF. They must then face Detroit, which is a) in contention, b) hot, and c) has Tarik Skubal, baseball's best pitcher. They must - at least - take two out of three against the Tigers, then come to NY and do it again.
That would leave them at 90 wins - still a game behind! - and heading to Minnesota, which might still be in the wild card race and boiling with excitment. Of course, the O's could get hot and run the table - you never know. The problem? They had all summer to do so. They fucked around, even more than we did. Hard to imagine, but in terms of disappointment, they are worse than the Yankees.
Whenever the '24 Yankees seemed to have a clear path to success, they promptly shat the bed. Right now, all they must do is beat two certifiably onerous teams - Oakland and Pittsburgh. It sounds easy, unless you followed this team.
Nevertheless, one key plank fell this weekend. Boston is done, and I suspect Mr. Cora knows it.