It is high, it is far, it is... caught!: Game Thread – San Francisco, CA – Opening Day – Caption Away

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Wednesday, March 25, 2026

Game Thread – San Francisco, CA – Opening Day – Caption Away

Posted by AboveAverage at 7:09 PM

"I'm so sorry Aaron but they just won't trade you here."

47 comments:

13bit said...: Fuck Netflix. Fuck Hal. Fuck crony capitalism.; March 25, 2026 at 7:21 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Once upon a time, the first baseball game was always in Cincinnati, because that's where they started (officially) playing the game for money. The first American League game was always in Washington, because it's the nation's capital, and the president would be on hand to throw out the first ball.

That was it. That was all the ceremony and hoopla necessary.

Today, a stupid media monopoly "buys" Opening Day, and they have it between two teams in different leagues in San Francisco, the city that stole our Giants. They drag a fake cable car and fake Yellow cabs onto the field, and have bad hip-hop dancers wiggle and shake around them, and set off explosions and steam fumes, and have on-field MCs shout out everything at the fans, as if we're at a fight in Las Vegas.

The louder they shout, the more bombast and hoopla there is, the stupider and cheaper it seems, just like everything else in America today.; March 25, 2026 at 8:11 PM
BTR999 said...: (To the tune of Hey Jude)

Hey, Judge, don't play so bad
Take a sad team and make it better
Remember to hit it out of the park
Then you can start to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain,
Hey, Judge, refrain
Don't carry the team upon your shoulders
For well you know boone’s a fool
Who plays it cool
By making our team a little colder

Hey, Judge don't let us down
You can hit sir, now go and hit sir
Remember to hit out of the park
Then you can start to make it better

So hit it out, don’t hit it in
Hey, Judge, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
But don't you know that it's just you,
Hey, Judge, you'll do
The lumber you need is on your shoulder

nah, nah, nah,
nah nah nah, nah…
Hey Judge!; March 25, 2026 at 8:13 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: The one thing to be said for all the pre-game malarkey: the later it will start, meaning the fewer innings with the pitcher throwing out of the sun to batters in the shadow.

Once upon a time, too, we used to run home to see the first game of the season, which was always played in the afternoon. No can do, anymore. When you sell your soul to the devil, he wants ALL of it.; March 25, 2026 at 8:13 PM
BTR999 said...: 🎯Spot on Hoss, spot on; March 25, 2026 at 8:15 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Remember two years ago, when the Yanks went out there and Soto and Judge ran amok? Seems like it happened in another decade.; March 25, 2026 at 8:16 PM
AboveAverage said...: Yepperz - that about sums it all up, Hoss; March 25, 2026 at 8:17 PM
AboveAverage said...: Kryptonian Effort !; March 25, 2026 at 8:17 PM
AboveAverage said...: Saturday Night is gunna be interesting . . .; March 25, 2026 at 8:18 PM
BTR999 said...: This pre-game is absolute horseshit, a minor league team would be ashamed to present it.

Look what they done to our game, Ma…; March 25, 2026 at 8:23 PM
BTR999 said...: But as I always say on Opening Day (er, night)
In all a sincerity and From the very depths of the bottom of my heart,

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO!; March 25, 2026 at 8:27 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: You know, fuck these guys. The umps, I mean. I'm ready for the automated strike zone. First at-bat of the season, first pitch nearly hits Judge, and they call it a strike.; March 25, 2026 at 8:30 PM
Doug K. said...: x1000; March 25, 2026 at 8:39 PM
Copelius said...: Center field camera looks like somebody is out there with a cell phone.; March 25, 2026 at 8:40 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Boy oh boy, I'm so glad we signed that Trent Grisham guy! One at-bat, one strikeout, one chance in the field, one hit dropping in. Sure clad he's not a butcher in the field like The Martian.; March 25, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Doug K. said...: Caption: I mean I would come to the White House and give you the trophy but we didn't win.; March 25, 2026 at 8:42 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Wait...batter after batter is staying within himself, slicing balls to the opposite field and all over the park???

Who are these guys? And what did they do with the New York Yankees?; March 25, 2026 at 8:51 PM
JM said...: Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle. Stanton scores from second on a single. Wells gets a hit. Grisham nails a triple. 5-0.

Glad I stayed up for this inning.; March 25, 2026 at 8:51 PM
JM said...: I'm stunned.; March 25, 2026 at 8:52 PM
JM said...: Still a few bad strikes on Judge.; March 25, 2026 at 8:53 PM
JM said...: Judge halfway to the sombrero. already.; March 25, 2026 at 8:54 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Judge needs to hack at everything with this asshole behind the plate. He will get nothing close.; March 25, 2026 at 8:54 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Yeah, he screwed up Bellinger, too.; March 25, 2026 at 8:55 PM
JM said...: Bellinger got victimized there, too.; March 25, 2026 at 8:56 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Wanted that 6th. Well, now Fried will let them back in the game.; March 25, 2026 at 8:56 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: And now this shit: the mic'd ballplayer.

Who likes this? Anyone?; March 25, 2026 at 8:59 PM
JM said...: Manfred. Manfred only.; March 25, 2026 at 9:00 PM
JM said...: And probably Jazz.; March 25, 2026 at 9:00 PM
JM said...: Early season control issues.; March 25, 2026 at 9:01 PM
JM said...: Master Bader whiffs.; March 25, 2026 at 9:05 PM
BernBabyBern said...: Just came here to agree with Hoss … I hate, hate, hate when players are mic’d up in games that mean something. Drives me frickin’ nuts.

Oh, and welcome to the season, everyone!; March 25, 2026 at 9:08 PM
JM said...: See ya tomorrow, amigos.; March 25, 2026 at 9:16 PM
Doug K. said...: If that mascot falls out of the Kayak he is going to drown. The costume will absorb a ton of water and he will die.; March 25, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Doug K. said...: Why aren't they doing more ABS stuff. This ump sucks; March 25, 2026 at 9:24 PM
Publius said...: Are we worried about Judge yet? When can we responsibly start panicking?; March 25, 2026 at 9:30 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: 7-0. Okay, only need about 5 more to wrap this one up.; March 25, 2026 at 9:43 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Well, that'll be the story. But no biggie. Tough pitcher given every edge by a bad ump. The rest of the hitting, though...where has this been for the last 10 years??; March 25, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Publius said...: Avoiding a Judgean golden sombrero would be nice too; March 25, 2026 at 9:45 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Oh, Good Lord! Rob Manfred is emerging from the Field of Dreams corn to bless us with his wisdom. Carry it home, guys—I am out of here.; March 25, 2026 at 9:46 PM
Scottish Yankee fan said...: 1.48 am here safe to go to bed I hope 7-0 up as I start work in just over 5 hours; March 25, 2026 at 9:48 PM
13bit said...: Oh shit, looks like we're going to win 148 games this year....why was I so worried? Wake me up for the last out of the World Series, which we will win in 4 perfect games.; March 25, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Rufus T. Firefly said...: First the in game interviews, then the manfred maniac talking about more fucking rule changes while wearing a FUCKING WINTER VEST!

He should be banned from baseball.

Also, I missed who kicked the extra point. Was it Pete Gogolak or George Blanda?; March 25, 2026 at 9:55 PM
ranger_lp said...: Yanks showing up with the bats…; March 25, 2026 at 9:58 PM
ranger_lp said...: Except for Judge…; March 25, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Hinkey Haines said...: Jake Bird. Bullpen Anchor.; March 25, 2026 at 10:25 PM
BernBabyBern said...: Jan Stenerud; March 25, 2026 at 10:34 PM
ranger_lp said...: Speed bump….; March 25, 2026 at 10:36 PM

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