Today, Friday the 13th, is 13 days and 13 exhibition games away from opening day.

In American culture, Friday the 13th is the day of "Jason," the hockey-masked killer of teens, most of whom were delightfully skewered, decapitated and/or impaled on movie screens since 1980. Hey, that's entertainment! 

Yesterday, the Yankees feted their own Jasson - Dominguez, aka "The Martian" or "Bruno Mars" - who hit his 3rd HR of this silent spring. Also, his astral twin, Spencer Jones - aka "Along Came" Jones - added a double. 

Beyond metaphor, both events carried the significance of a tree falling in a forest. Nobody cared, beyond the beer vendors and ticket holders of Scranton, where the pair will play in 2026.

Between now and March 25 - a weird 8 p.m. opener in San Francisco - Yank fans will experience a blitz of meaninglessness, far beyond Dominguez and Jones. Coming soon: a hellacious West Coast heat dome, the insufferable Oscars, the increasingly insane war in the Middle East and the World Baseball Classic.   

Tonight, Captain Aaron Judge and a few various Yankees - the newest being situational lefty Tim Hill - will seek redemption in the WBC, where Team USA was embarrassed earlier this week. 

We lost to Team Italy, a pickup team compiled by Francisco Cervelli, a native of Venezuela and former Yank, who twice went to a hospital after being brutalized by home plate collisions. (We'll never forgive Tampa for its horrible cheap shot on Cerveilli, then a rising young catcher, in a meaningless exhibition. He missed 2008 with a broken wrist, and - by the way - Tampa has never won a championship, thanks to the juju curse that remains.)

So, the Martian and Mr. Jones keep hitting, and the propaganda mill keeps churning - (hey, everybody, Ryan McMahon has a new stance!) Tonight, America faces another hateful Canadian team - the Blue Jays aren't enough - for the WBC trophy, or plaque, or belt - whatever the hell they hand out - and, if we win, an incoherent phone call from You Know Who.

So, the Martian homered, and Jones contributed a double. It's Friday the 13th. Our lucky day.