Yesterday, the Yankees feted their own Jasson - Dominguez, aka "The Martian" or "Bruno Mars" - who hit his 3rd HR of this silent spring. Also, his astral twin, Spencer Jones - aka "Along Came" Jones - added a double.
Beyond metaphor, both events carried the significance of a tree falling in a forest. Nobody cared, beyond the beer vendors and ticket holders of Scranton, where the pair will play in 2026.
Between now and March 25 - a weird 8 p.m. opener in San Francisco - Yank fans will experience a blitz of meaninglessness, far beyond Dominguez and Jones. Coming soon: a hellacious West Coast heat dome, the insufferable Oscars, the increasingly insane war in the Middle East and the World Baseball Classic.
Tonight, Captain Aaron Judge and a few various Yankees - the newest being situational lefty Tim Hill - will seek redemption in the WBC, where Team USA was embarrassed earlier this week.
We lost to Team Italy, a pickup team compiled by Francisco Cervelli, a native of Venezuela and former Yank, who twice went to a hospital after being brutalized by home plate collisions. (We'll never forgive Tampa for its horrible cheap shot on Cerveilli, then a rising young catcher, in a meaningless exhibition. He missed 2008 with a broken wrist, and - by the way - Tampa has never won a championship, thanks to the juju curse that remains.)
So, the Martian and Mr. Jones keep hitting, and the propaganda mill keeps churning - (hey, everybody, Ryan McMahon has a new stance!) Tonight, America faces another hateful Canadian team - the Blue Jays aren't enough - for the WBC trophy, or plaque, or belt - whatever the hell they hand out - and, if we win, an incoherent phone call from You Know Who.
So, the Martian homered, and Jones contributed a double. It's Friday the 13th. Our lucky day.
Posts
7 comments:
Opening day - used to be cause for joy. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to say that I'll be doing a final head count for the June get-together by Monday. Then, we explore ticket options. I have been told that, unbeknownst to me, the date we chose is Aaron Judge bobblehead day. I'm not joking. Let that be an inducement. Please let me know if you're interested. This is not any kind of guarantee that you'll get a bobblehead, but you've got to be in it to win it, yo.
PS: maybe the bobblehead is four feet tall.
We should boycott if it is ONLY four feet tall.
Think of the kids
It sure is. I hear that the next giveaway will be the Brett Gardner "Garden Gnome Day" freebee.
Ok - MAYBE we shouldn't boycott the game but I do have one additional question regarding the Aaron Judge bobblehead. Will it feature his chompers when he first came up to the show or the beautifully reconstructed smile he now flashes across the globe.
Asking for a hygienist friend of mine.
Duque, the Yankees are experts in propaganda, poor decisions and bullshit. I repeat, who is running the show? No other than that weasal , Genius Cashman.
I'm in, you betcha.
Post a Comment