Change Todd Palin Doesn't Need

In just a few short days, there may be big change in store for all of us -- including Todd Palin, the consort of the governor of Alaska.

Not only could he be stripped of the "First Dude" title he now enjoys, Todd's life is liable to change in some pretty harsh ways:


NOW
As the husband of the Governor, Todd Palin is "First Dude" of Alaska.



IF HIS WIFE ENDS UP AS VICE PRESIDENT
On January 20th, the second John McCain's hand leaves that Bible, Todd immediately will be demoted to "Second Dude." No more "NO1DUDE" license plate, not to mention deep-sixing the coffee mug, the t-shirt, the snowmobile bobble head...

NOW
He goes to high school reunions every five years.


IF HIS WIFE ENDS UP AS VICE PRESIDENT
The parents of other Wasilla High School graduates will call him constantly to ask him to talk to their children about how they can marry well and become Second Dude someday.

NOW
Todd lists his current occupations as production operator at BP and commercial salmon fisherman.


IF HIS WIFE ENDS UP AS VICE PRESIDENT
"Second Dude" is not a salaried position. He'll find himself at plenty of official functions and ribbon-cutting ceremonies -- sort of the Wal-Mart greeter of America -- and he'll have to be content with the stuff that tickles down from Cindy McCain.

Hope he likes him some tea and little bitty finger sandwiches.

NOW
Todd is embroiled in the controversy over trying to use his wife's office to have a state trooper fired (his family was really mad at that guy).

IF HIS WIFE ENDS UP AS VICE PRESIDENT
It's a big country. His family's probably mad at a few more people.


NOW
Todd is fourth-place finisher in the Tesoro Iron Dog championship.


IF HIS WIFE ENDS UP AS VICE PRESIDENT
He could probably still run a race or two every year -- he could just tell Sarah he's up in Alaska running the water and checking to make sure the pipes didn't freeze. If no one puts the newspaper in front of her, she'll never find out.

NOW
He endures jokes about who's the "maverick" at home.
He endures jokes about who's "the better shot" at home.
He endures jokes about who "tops the ticket" at home.


IF HIS WIFE ENDS UP AS VICE PRESIDENT
Well, okay, some stuff probably won't change completely.

Election Day is upon us.

Millions of Americans will step into that voting booth.

Millions of people will cast their ballots.

But only one of them will whisper, "Please, let me still be the First Dude."