Rich Right Wing Looks Forward to Getting Really Bitchy if Obama Wins

HOUSTON _ Officers of the GOP Ladies Tea Club Tuesday said they now look forward to Barack Obama's presidency, saying it will liberate them into becoming total douchebags over the next four years.

"We never complained once under George Bush," said Lavinia "Lottie" Dah, heiress to the Beatrice-Walmart-News Corp. Trust. "Now, we're looking forward to drilling a new asshole in this country.

"We were even accused of being the reason why the New York Yankees didn't win the World Series," she continued. "Now, with that funny little ear man in the White House, we're going to riot. And your Yankees will surely win every single game from now on, because a Republican is not in power. Excuse me, it's time for Dreamboat Sean on the radio."