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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

If Winn, Gardner, Thames fail, Cashman vows to play LF for Yankees


Responding to harsh criticism over the failure to resign Johnny Damon, Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman said Tuesday he will play left field if no one else can handle the job, and he won't charge the team "eight stinking million dollars."

"Jeeeez Krice, everybody, I'm sick of all the whining. 'Johnny this. Johnny that. Wah-wah-wah.' Well, fukken Saint Johnny has left the park. Understand, people? And if we can't find one stinking player to replace him, then I will. I'll put on the uniform and go out there and play. And I won't charge us an arm-and-a-leg, dammit."

Cashman last played baseball while attending Catholic University many years ago. His best advantage is believed to be his strike zone.
"I know how to take pitches," he said. "I get into my crouch, and I'm Rickie Henderson out there. You get me on base, and I'll steal second and third. You put me between Jeter and Tex, and I'll show you some moves. And I won't cost the team $8 million."

3 comments:

Joe DePastry said...

Don't forget, whatshisname, Hoffman. And give Jon Weber a shot at it, too.

GWC3 said...

Cashman would have better range and a stronger arm than Damon, anyway.

Joe said...

after watch all the stuff about jeter and his expiring contract....is it possible they are saving left for jeet?