Friday, February 19, 2010

Yankeetorial: I have seen the future of Jersey Shore and it's name is Nick Swisher

YES, the official Yankee news agency, has released a video starring Nick Swisher, in which the bases-on-ballsy rightfielder welcomes us into his kingly lair on a hillside overlooking Gomorah..
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It a West Coast version of Jersey Shore -- the punching bags, the video games, everything but Snooki's flubbery grapefruits bouncing on the breakfast nook.
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Note to YES: GIVE THIS MAN A REALITY SHOW... NOW.
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Sign him up. There is no doubt that Nick Swisher will someday be schztupping Heidi Montag, voting adversaries -- (Josh Beckett?) off an island, or "Dancing with the Stars."
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Sign him up. This guy is a revenue stream. This guy can be paying for Yankee rightfielders into his 40s.
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Let's be real: Nick probably has three years left in the majors. Maybe four. He probably peaked last year as a Yankee, hitting 20plus HR and winning the ring. If his bat slows -- inevitably, even Snooki will lose a few inches on those totems -- he can go kicking and screaming like David Wells, or he can stay in the limelight... as a Yankee Reality Star.

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Do it now. This is his real career.
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In his video, Nick shows us his $300 habit, making a Leggo Taj Mahal.
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It's time for YES to break out of its stodgy Yankeetorial programming mode.

SAY YES TO "NICK AT NIGHT."

2 comments:

Laura said...

I LOVE it! This made me love him even more.

Keith said...

START HIM FFS