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Kevin Baker's book is here!
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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Yankees Being Denied 2nd Amendment Rights


The jackbooted-thugs of Major League Baseball again are cracking down on fundamental American human rights and pushing us toward some far-off futuristic "1984."

Their latest Big Brother meathook extending deep into the cookie jar of our privacy is an affront to the dignity of the greatest team in pro ball: The World Champion New York Yankees are being told they CANNOT bring their sidearms and slingblades into their own clubhouse.

First, we saw The Man tell us schools are off-limits for Mr. Smith and Mr. Weston, the two greatest teachers that ever roamed a 5th grade lunch line. We put up a protest, but it was too late. Now the schools teach namby-pambyism, tuti-fruityism, lollypoppery, and nobody can even read!
Then they managed to keep us from bringing basic firepower to airports, as a deterent to terrorists. Now this: The World Champion New York Yankees are being told they cannot bring essential means of self-protection to the lockers where they groom themselves!

"For the first time, MLB has posted signs in clubhouses detailing the sport's "Weapon-Free Workplace" policy. Players and employees are prohibited from possessing "deadly weapons" - guns, explosives, daggers, metal knuckles, switchblade knives or knives with blades exceeding five inches - while performing any services for MLB.

The late Charlton Heston, pictured above at an National Rifle Association conference in 1972, would be turning over in heaven if he knew was going on.
Yankee outfielder Mel Hall, who made cold weaponry fashionable the Yankee clubhouse back in the 1970s, would turning over in his jail cell today at this news.

How can the Bombers feel safe, if Big Bud Brother is telling them to leave their guns at home?
FIGHT THE MAN. FIGHT THE BAN.

3 comments:

VirginiaO'Possum said...

Amateur! That's Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson to you.

Anonymous said...

Metal knuckles?

What is this, a 1950s stickball team?

Statler said...

We're the Bronx Bombers, not the Bronx Prohibited-From-Bringing-Explosives-To-The-Gamers