Thursday, February 11, 2010

Jeet on the Man Who Ended the Curse: "There might have been some issues in the second half..."


Derek Jeter spoke with Anthony McCarron (who probably called on the phone and claimed to be actor Ed Norton)of the Daily News. They talked about, well, you know, stuff.

Always the lightning rod for quotes, Jeet promptly lit up the printing presses with this acid-tongued assessment of Javier Vazquez, our new 4th starter.

“People forget, he made the All-Star team the first half when he was with us. There might have been some issues in the second half, (but) he’s been a great pitcher for a long time.”

Listen... we all hope Javier Vazquez pitches well. But when Vazquez shows up in camp, he should wash the feet of the first 100 Yankees he sees. The team should hold a Javier Vazquez Backrub Night, where the first 5,000 fans over the age of 14 receive backrubs. They ought to come clean.

Javier Vazquez entered the most painful loss in Yankee history when the game was winnable and left it down 9-2. This winter, we traded the guy who succeeded for the guy who failed. It's that simple. If people want to run around with their cyberstats and their scouting reports and tell us how smart Brian Cashman is... well... fine. We love Cash.

But we have just traded the guy who succeeded for the guy who failed. Nothing can change that except one hell of a year from Javier Vazquez -- and not as a fourth starter.

"There might have been some issues...?"

Yeahp. There were some issues.

There still are.

7 comments:

The Ghost of Scott Brosius said...

A-Fucking-Men

Knobby said...

Applause.

Charles Bonasera said...

Good work. Keep this up and he'll go 16-7.

Joe DePastry said...

The good news is they signed another left-fielder, minor league superstar Jon Weber, age 32.
In 11 minor league seasons he's got an OPS of .838, with 131 HR.
Last year at AAA Durham his numbers were:
.302/.382/.497/.879 with 14 HR in just 117 games.
Plus also, he bats lefty, just like Johnny Damon!

Alphonso said...

Jon Weber is closer to 42, slower than Nick Johnson, and has never seen a major league field.

His glove is a size 16 EE just like his hat size, and the size of his lobster claw left foot. His right foot is a 10 1/2 D.

The guy was signed to give B. Cashman shoe shines, back rubs and haircuts.

Brian is getting off this season signing old guys with no skills and no future.

Anonymous said...

This is the whiniest fucking site ever.

Joe DePastry said...

Baseball-Reference.com says Jon Weber was born 1/20/78 --in California, not the Dominican.
But he hit .462 in the Caribbean World Series! Somebody's got to DH when Johnson gets hurt, or play left when Gardner goes 88 straight at bats without hitting the ball out of the infield. Given a chance, Jon Weber could be the next Jack Cust. Or the next Chris Coste. He might at least have a higher OPS than they're gonna get from Randy Winn.