Thursday, April 26, 2012

Open letter to Brian Cashman: Get thee to a nunnery

Dear Madam or Sir,

You've lived through past Yankee crashes. You saw us trade Jay Buhner, Scott McGregor, Doug Drabek, Al Leiter and the rest. You knew what can happen.

How could you do this to us... how?

I'm sorry, man. I just can't take this anymore. It hurts too much.

As far as I'm concerned, it is 1981, and we just traded Willie McGee for Bob Sykes. It is 2008 and we just traded Jose Tabata for Xavier Nady. No, it's worse: It is 2012, and we just traded Jesus for Pineda.

How could you do it... HOW?

I've lost hope. I think we're dead. You felt the air escaping last night. And I blame you. You HAD to show how frickin clever you are. You HAD to make it all about you.

I can't take this anymore.

I believe you just wrecked the next entire decade, maybe two. We will remember 2012 as the year you pissed away Jesus Montero and Hector Noesi. It's a wonder that in 1994, you didn't trade Jeter and Mariano. But then, it was Bob Watson who built those teams, not you.
I'm not sure I have 20 years left on this earth. But whatever I have, it will be spent hating this trade.

I'm starting to identify with Louise Meanwell.


Bye Bye Balboni said...

Hail, brother. You speak the truth.

I will take no secret pleasure in Jesus' destruction of Yankee pitching whenever he faces them. It shall be our equivalent of donning a hairshirt or self-flagellation.

bennyboy said...

Mason Williams for Phil Humber. Can't you just feel it coming?

joe de p said...

remember when we traded fred mcgriff for dale murray?
all my suppressed memories of the wilderness years are returning.
omg, steve trout just appeared before me in the pattern of the filthy carpet in my office.