Sunday, April 22, 2012

Teixiera uses juju to break slump, wreck Boston

From the Gray Lady:

While he was getting dressed before he game, Teixeira noticed that while one of his socks had his No. 25 on it, the other one was transposed with No. 52.

“I actually said to myself, ‘C. C.’s a pretty good player, I’ll try it,’ ” Teixeira said. “I’m definitely going to keep wearing it.”

In fact, Tex should reconsider his plan. The notion of a "lucky sock" represents old-wives juju and fails clinical analysis. I consider it similar to the national "wear-your-daughter's-underwear-to-work" day campaigns, designed to increase the role of women's underwear in the workforce.

Let's be real: No single sock fosters juju.

But changing a sock can.

Instead of just re-wearing CC's hosiery for the next month, draining it of any juju Rizzutonic particle emmissions that it might possess, Tex should move from player wardrobe to player wardrobe, switching socks and accessories on a daily basis. This should not be arranged by the laundry police. To properly harvest juju, Tex should arrive early in the clubhouse each day and cavort from locker to locker, pilfering one lucky juju item from each lucky teammate's locker, like a predator serial killer claiming momentos from his lucky victims.

I do not advise building a bunker or special room in Tex' house to house these momentos as a shrine. This would be overdoing it.

But at least for tonight, Tex should not be wearing a pair of Mark Teixeira socks.

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