Kevin Baker's book is here!

Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Thursday, April 26, 2012

More modern baseball idioms

You know the drill: Let's update those great baseball phrases to the modern world.


Defund Planned Parenthood: Shut down a rally.

“… Three up, three down! So Mariano Rivera, on just seven pitches, defunds the Cleveland Indians’ Planned Parenthood clinic. Congratulations, New York! Another perfectly healthy Yankee victory has been delivered into this world!”

 Stand Your Ground law: Take a bean ball.

 “… Ouch! That had to hurt! Kevin Youkilis shakes it off and jogs to first, and the Red Sox have a base runner, thanks to manager Bobby Valentine’s newly instituted stand your ground law. Youkilis looks in a lotta pain out there, but he knows that later tonight, he’ll face no charges in the clubhouse.

New Cheney heart: Extra innings.

"... The Pirates tie the score, and we're heading to the 10th. Holy Halliburton! This game has just been implanted with a new Dick Cheney heart."