Monday, December 8, 2014

Headley... possibly... barely... uncaringly...

Last night's hottest Chase Headley gossip hit me like the Breaking NFL Hotline News that the Jersey Jints had trounced the mighty Titans of Tennessee... keeping alive their dreams of a 6-10 season. I blinked my eyes and thought: Is anyone still following this?

The headzup from Headley claims that our hero "loved-loved-loved" his two months in NYC - (Hey, with all those $10 Rolexes sold on the streets, who wouldn't!) - and wants to return to the Disney World-worthy replica of the House that Ruth Built. Whenever a player says such a thing, I can't help but think: "Mr. Steinbrenner, it's Scott Brosius on line one." The guy is standing on the midway, like a dwarf outside a freak show, trying to bark up the price. Frankly, I think that's Headley's plan. And unless he comes down to the Yankees' offer - rather than talking them up to his - I say, fukkim.

Yes, it was nice last August to have an actual 3B at 3B. But Headley is on the decline - if not the free fall - of an astonishingly undistinguished and forgettable MLB career. He was once an all-star. Whoop-dee-doo. If he's trying to shake out a few extra dimes in his last meaningful contract, fine. Good luck on that. But next summer, if necessary, I would rather watch Martin Prado at third while the rookie Rob Refsnyder fails at 2B, because at least Ref's resulting .225 average won't be a fait accompli.

But wait... Another thought just got me a-thinkin':

What if it's true? 

What if Chase Headley REALLY DOES want to be a Yankee?

Wow. Sensory overload. What if there is a Santa, Bill Cosby is innocent, and Henry Kissinger is not an alien lizard-person overlord? Maybe there are still players who grew up wanting to play for the Yankees. Andrew Miller took less money to be a Yankee rather than an Astro - which, of course, is like choosing the Beatles over the Monkees... but money is money. And if Headley would take less - that is, to prove he wants to be in NY - well, maybe we'd have an actual Yankee, as well as an actual 3B.

My guess is that by Wednesday, Headley will be a happy Giant, sleeping well knowing he squeezed every last cent out of next season's .225 average. If so, good luck, San Francisco. I won't be weeping. He's not a replacement for the Panda. He's only a replacement for Yangervis Solarte.

2 comments:

Shane said...

Wait. With all due respect, you've gotta stop bashing the Monkees!

The Monkees might have been a little goofy but they were fun to listen to and watch (and were successful) - kinda like this year's KC Royals.

If

Yankees = Beatles (and I'm not so sure about this anymore)

Astros = Freddie and the Dreamers?

les millman said...

I know everyone loves Ref, but show a little love for the guy backing up 2b and maybe the next second baseman Pirela. The guy can hit and play multiple positions.