To entice fans, 2015 Yankees will be eaten alive by a giant anaconda named A-Rod

The Yankees' incredible journey through the giant snake is expected to take three years. Throughout the digestion process, updates will air nightly on the YES Channel and the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Jeep. Regular highlights will include Suzyn's Clubhouse Report, which will be broadcast live from the snake's belly. Also, Steiner Collectibles will sell etchings of Yankee greats, as drawn by new shortstop Didi Gregorius, on dried skin from the leviathan. Sometime around 2017, in ceremonies stretching along the Canyon of Heroes, the team will emerge during the snake's final bowel movement and receive a key to the city from former mayor Rudy Giuliani. The snake will then be transported to Cooperstown.