Monday, December 8, 2014

To entice fans, 2015 Yankees will be eaten alive by a giant anaconda named A-Rod

The Yankees' incredible journey through the giant snake is expected to take three years. Throughout the digestion process, updates will air nightly on the YES Channel and the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Jeep. Regular highlights will include Suzyn's Clubhouse Report, which will be broadcast live from the snake's belly. Also, Steiner Collectibles will sell etchings of Yankee greats, as drawn by new shortstop Didi Gregorius, on dried skin from the leviathan. Sometime around 2017, in ceremonies stretching along the Canyon of Heroes, the team will emerge during the snake's final bowel movement and receive a key to the city from former mayor Rudy Giuliani. The snake will then be transported to Cooperstown.

4 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...

...in ceremonies stretching along the Canyon of Heroes, the team will emerge during the snake's final bowel movement

Steiner collectibles will then cut the non-team-bearing parts of the snake's bowel movement into small disks, encase the disks in polyethylene collectible coins, and sell them along with a certificate of authenticity for $45.00 each...  .   .    .     .
.
.
.
.
.
.     .    .   .  ...(I think what's scariest about all this is that there's absolutely NOTHING else to talk about concerning this team, other than a fantasy involving snake-shit coins.

How long until Opening Day?)

Ken of Brooklyn said...

The scariest thing for me is just how plausible this scenario really is, LOL!

How long until Opening Day,,,,,2020

John M said...

If we cough up for MLB Extra Innings, we can all follow the Royals next season.

Just thinking out loud.

Anonymous said...

to me AROD IS ONE OF THE GEATEST PLAYERS NEXT TO BARRY BOND I AM GLAD YOU ALL ARE SO PERFECT