FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Thursday, April 7, 2016

I Finally Heard From John Oliver's Staff

All I did was send in my blog photo ( above), and some clown working for Oliver's staff thought it was, " a totally outrageous outfit that would horrify and offend the monied classes."  I kept my mouth shut when I heard him declare me a winner for today's game.

One ticket in the Legends Club section.

Problems;  It is currently about 28 degrees in NYC and pouring rain.  And the rules of this opportunity say I must wear, " exactly what is in my picture," or pay them back for the seat ( $2300 I think).  No wonder John was able to buy the seats.  Who, in their right mind, would go to outdoor baseball in NYC today?

So here is my choice;  an iota of tv fame and a free luxury, pleather seat amongst the nation's 1% at today's Yankee game ( 4:05 pm start....WTF?) and certain hypothermia, or trash this once in a lifetime opportunity, and live to complain another day?

There is no real choice to be made here, is there?

I figure my hat will ward off most of the rain for about 30 seconds.  The free drinks ( I don't know if they are included ) will get me through another hour or so.  Then, once my core temperature drops below 95 degrees, and I begin to lose muscle co-ordination and rational thinking ( actually, nothing new here ), I dial the Yankee version of 911 and hope for the best.

Anyway, if the game isn't called due to rain and overall misery, look for me behind home plate.  I'll be right next to some hedge fund guys, maybe even Mr. Trump.  The NY primary looms.

Go Yanks.  At least I don't have to watch Pineda pitch.

5 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


If this isn't a late April Fools joke, I for one am looking forward to your post-game report.

KD said...

I got upgraded once to a seat a few rows up from there. You will find no free booze, trust me, and Yankee Stadium Manhattans are over $15 a pop. smuggle in a small flask of brandy to ward off the cold. Athletic socks and baggy pants offer good concealment. remember to use an entirely plastic flask to avoid setting off the metal detector. Yankee Stadium is absolutely not a BYO establishment.

el duque said...

When was your core temperature ever over 92?

joe de pastry said...

You the MAN!

Dutch fan said...

Only one hour to go. I really look forward to this. In the category "kicks for free" this will be in my television top 25. Right below the last Dutch elfstedentocht (11 Town skating race in 1996) but topping Elton John singing "Candle in the wind" at Westminster Abbey.
At least I hope.