FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Monday, April 18, 2016

Seven innings. That's all the Yankees need.

The seven-inning start... What a concept.

I mean, like, whoooooa. Pass the bong. Are you talking about a game with no Kirby Yates? I mean, like, wow, there's no six calls to the bullpen sponsored by our Tri-State Ford Auto Dealerships? I mean, what happens to our Tri-State Ford Auto Dealerships? Do they close? A game where, afterwards, we DON'T shuttle somebody down to Scranton?

A seven-inning start... Has the human body evolved to absorb such punishment?

Well, in the season's 11th game, a Yankee starter pitched through the 7th. It was the guy with the slightly torn elbow, who underwent bone spur surgery last winter. Masahiro Tanaka gave up three runs - two earned - and that was everything. A seven inning stretch. Woah.

Crisis averted? I'm hoping. Unfortunately, as we've seen, three runs can be a bridge too far. Fortunately, we also received a two-run ding by A-Rod - number 689 on the career, tying him with the sum of three consecutive primes: (227+229+233), which is pretty impressive. A-Rod was batting sixth. He's still hitting below Paris Hilton's weight. (Did you know she was seen at Coachella? Looked great in her designer scooter chair.)

The seven-inning start...

So, we are 4th in the AL East, three games behind the Baltimore Bubble, which soon will pop. More worrisome are the Redsocks and Toronto, who are jockeying with .500. We host Oakland, the Rays, then visit the Rangers... and then, we finish April with a weekend at Fenway.

By then, will we have seen another seven-inning start?

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