FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Friday, April 1, 2016

In complete and heartfelt semi-defense of Alphonso

I grew up in an angry, dysfunctional household and avoid confrontation as a result. Additionally, I'm a Libra, so I always look for balance or try to balance the scales in any situation. 

In the words of the Floyd, us...and them.
This is why I posit the following about the Jesus-Pineda trade:

Both teams lost in that trade. Both.

Jesus simply sucked more and sucked faster than Pineda. Pineda is a broken down old man at 27. He is not quite as inconsistent as Nova (brought to you by a grant from the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation), and maybe marginally not as bad when he's bad, but that's splitting hairs. If his name was Ivan or Nakita or Vladimir, we'd all be saying that he's nothing but another dice roll every time he steps on the mound.

We don't need no stinking dice rolls. You don't win pennants with dice rolls as half your starting rotation (I'm rounding down to be charitable).

And as Alphonso said, the other thing about Pineda are his DL proclivities. So the above is if he even manages to get to the mound.

Yes, Montero turned out to be the Hindenberg, both physically and in terms of performance. But Pineda was no bargain. Saying we categorically won that trade is like saying McCann is worth every penny because he sure can frame pitches.

It's time to move on. We have bigger fish to fry this season, none of which are at all appetizing.





3 comments:

Alphonso said...

This is brilliant. I love the part where you state, " Saying categorically....because he sure can frame pitches."

Doug K said...

There is a simple fix for Pineda. All you have to do is watch the brim of his hat. If it is straight ahead he is focused. Let's call that the "Good Pineda" The more the brim moves to the side the worse he pitches. Let's call that the "Out of control why can't my kid tuck in his shirt ADHD nothing really maters anyway Pineda" So as soon as Joe sees the cap reach a certain point (regardless of the baseball situation such as, "I need him to just get one more out" he pulls him. That way we only have the "Good Pineda" and we win the trade.

Anonymous said...

THAT'S AMAZING....I WAS GOING TO SAY IN MY ALPHONSO DEFENSE YESTERDAY, "MICHAEL PINEDA IS KIND OF LIKE IVAN NOVA "LIGHT", BUT I CHOSE OTHER WORDS....