Thursday, July 21, 2016

Boston fans are loving this incredible four game Yankee streak

There are already whispers of the Tankees looking to add a big, middle-of-the-order slugger for the September Away Game Wild Card Berth race. And why not? We're now only five games behind Baltimore, Toronto, Houston and Detroit for the Away Game Wild Card Berth. If Tex gets hurt, we'll need to add a Braun or a Mauer to our lineup. Maybe we can trade Luis Severino or Aaron Judge, and pry loose Steve Pearce. We're two above .500 - best record since April! Four in a row! Ivan Nova, Nathan Eovaldi and Michael Pineda - they're like money in the bank! Let's say it out loud, everybody: This team is a genuine Away Game Wild Card Berth contender!

Those smirking Boston fans... disregard them. They won't be smiling when this rising Yankee team takes the Away Game Wild Card Berth, and then roars through the playoffs. We're like Trump: Critics won't be smirking when ISIS is destroyed, the illegals are gone, Hillary is in prison, and corporations are reopening all those empty factories to offer good-payin' jobs! Nope. We're going to make the Yankees great again, starting now... with the Away Game Wild Card Berth!

Listen: The way Nova, Eovaldi and Pineda are pitching, Hal should sign them to long term deals. Same with Headley, I shudder to think what he'll demand two years from now, as a free agent. Also, we'd hate to see Jacoby Ellsbury playing against us, conjuring up catcher interferences with his Svengali bat. Add a few years to his contract. Last night, even Aaron Hicks hit a home run, though it curved foul at the last second. Lock him up!

Those snickering Redsock fans... don't look at them! They're just laughing because we knocked Baltimore out of first. Forget that half the O's team has the flu. That's what you get for sending so many players to the All-Star game. The Yankees are back. We're on the candy-paved road to contending for the coveted Away Game Wild Card Berth - our fourth consecutive year, by the way! That's right, nay-sayers. Four straight years as contenders! Not. Too. Shabby! That talk about selling off old-timers and trading for prospects? Who needs it? We're the Yankees. We never have to rebuild. We're always good. It's like magic. And if we don't secure that Away Game Wild Card Berth this year, well - dammit - we'll come back next year, even harder. One of these years, we're going to win that Away Game Wild Card Berth, and fly the Away Game Wild Card Berth flag over historic Yankee Stadium, home to mystique and aura... now in its seventh year.

Those Boston fans, ignore them. We're two above .500! Stand back, everybody, so you don't get hit by the buttons popping from my shirt due to Yankee pride. Four in a row. U-S-A! U-S-A! I'm so happy I can barely type. U-S-A. U-S-A. Calgon Bath Beads, take me awaaaaaaay!


John M said...

As a reminder when enjoying your Calgon Bath Beads--Dove is one quarter cleansing cream.

We're going all the way. Trade Refsnyder and all those pesky kids. We can do it! Whoo.

Tom said...

worst result possible: a winning streak just before the trade deadline.