FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Posted by Alphonso at 12:41 PM
Some of you have been wondering why the latest," International JU-Ju call," was good for only one win.
The latest study on such interventions, completed by scientists from Harvard, Stanford, and MIT, and conducted at the Cooperstown, N.Y. Baseball Hall-Of-Fame, has concluded the following;
1. Ju-Ju interventions are successful only when the team, at its core, has some chance of success.
2. They succeed when fans see the intervention's outcome as something they want.
3. They can't be successful when initiated at an away game.
This all makes sense to me. Why?
1. This team, at its core, sucks eggs.
2. The fans want abject failure this season, so the agony of mediocrity is not prolonged.
3. Chicago is a much better team.
I could go on, but the ice in my JACK & Coke is melting.
From this point forward, let's be honest and realistic: if the team falls into the cellar, and cannot be re-vived, it is possible that Cashman and his dancing fools will do the right thing;
A. Trade off some assets for prospects.
B. Show some fucking integrity and tell the world that the Yankees are going to re-build.
C. Hire a new GM and Manager. People who have the skills to re-build.
I would fire the dorky owner, too, but we all know that is not feasible.
If all of this fails, I am going to drink myself happy.