Thursday, September 29, 2016

PAPI MOON HERO: "ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO"

Well, I nevah! Myrtle, have you seen what those, those hooligans intend to do? I'm absolutely vivid, Myrtle! LIV-ID! Why, I think I'll go clutch my pearls...

Imagine those starched and staged Redsock fans, reaching for the Calgon Bath Oil Beads this morning, as the MOOVMENT grows.

Toady, he greatest Yankee fan in the world - our own LOCAL BARGAIN JERK - conducted an on-line conversation with ESPN, otherwise known as the Redsocks' Fox News. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, "Mr. Jerk" - as he is known in the Boston media - says it's ALL GO FOR TONIGHT.


REMEMBER: 
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DROP YOUR PANTS...
 
IF THERE ARE LITTLE KIDS AROUND,
OR IF THERE ARE COPS AROUND,
OR IF YOU'RE JUST NOT THE PERSON WHO DOES HEROIC STUFF...

YOU CAN STILL TAKE PART.

STAND,
TURN AROUND,
BEND OVER,
AND POINT TO YOUR BUTT!

STAND! TURN! BEND! POINT!

S.T.B.P.

NOBODY GETS OFFENDED.
NOBODY GETS ARRESTED.
NOBODY GETS HURT.
PAPI WILL KNOW... 
AND THE WORLD WILL SAY...
THIS WAS OUR FINEST HOUR.

4 comments:

John M said...

I sure hope the rain stops and we get the game in and the moons out.

In case you're keeping track, to tie the O's for the second wild card, we have to win tonight and sweep them. They have to lose tonight to the Jays. The Tigers have to lose them all or at least lose 3 out of 4, Mariners no better than 2-2, and Astros no better than 2-1.

Sounds easy. Cough.

KD said...

God bless LBJ for breathing a little life into the moribund redsocks/Yankees rivalry. A fitting "end" to the 2016 season. And to papi too.

Blind Robin said...

Participatory Art at its best.

Anonymous said...

I JUST GOT HOME.....IT'S 2:30 AM....IT WAS A HELLUVA NIGHT....WE WON.....I DRY MOONED PAPI ALL NIGHT.....(ALSO THE COUNTLESS BOSTON FANS IN THE BARS AND THE STADIUM)....I DRY MOONED AS MANY ORTIZ JERSEYS AS I COULD...I GOT SOME INCREDULOUS STARES....EVEN MY FRIENDS WERE LAUGHING....ONE FRIEND OUT OF MY OTHER 3 FRIENDS DRY MOONED PAPI WHEN HE WAS ANNOUNCED...(I WAS PISSED THE OTHER 2 DIDN'T DO IT)....AFTER WE DID IT, (ON PAPI'S FIRST AT BAT), 3 RED SOX FANS RIGHT NEAR US WERE GESTURING TO ME AS IF TO SAY WHAT ARE YOU DOING....... I STOOD STRONG AND TOLD HIM, " PAPI IS ON DRUGS!...TAKE THE BLINDERS OFF!...DON'T BE FUCKING RIDICULOUS!....WHAT, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS?!"..... THE GUYS WERE SMILING, BUT LOOKED KIND OF STUNNED AT MY INTENSITY....THEY LEFT ABOUT 5 MINS LATER, AND RETURNED ABOUT 7 INNINGS LATER!...NO SHIT!.....WHERE DID THEY GO?.....UNREAL....... BOTTOM LINE IS THERE WERE TOO MANY RED SOX FANS THERE TONIGHT, ( I WOULD SAY THE RATIO WAS 60% YANKEE FANS TO 40% RED SOX FANS.....WAYYY TO MANY SOX FANS IN THE STADIUM...I HATE THAT!.....BUT , WE WON....AND I GOT TO SPIT OUT MY VENOM ON PAPI, AND BETTER YET, A LOAD OF RED SOX FANS HEARD ME, AND WERE YELLING "AROD DID TOO!"........THAT'S NOT THE POINT!...... PAPI STILL LIES AND IS GUILTY!.... YANKEE FANS COULD GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT AROD DOING ROIDS, HE AT LEAST ADMITTED IT....PAPI LIES, AND WANTS ADULATION FOR IT...FAT FRAUD!!!....GREAT GAME.